To Wed In Texas

NINETEEN

KARLEE HELPED DANIEL BACK TO HIS BED, BUT HE allowed her to take very little of his weight. He managed on his own, with her only as a guide. When they reached the parlor, still dark from sheets over the windows, Daniel closed the door.

“Will you put the wet cloth over my eyes for a few minutes?” He sounded tired.

“Certainly,” she answered formally.

When he was tucked into bed with the towel in place, she sat beside him and told him the details of Willow's childbirth.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” he asked when she finished.

“No.” She removed the cloth from his eyes. “But I can manage. I have lots to do today. Would you like the blindfold replaced?”

“No.” He caught her hand before she moved away. “Rest a while. We've both had a long night and a harrowing morning. Allie needs time alone with her brother. The twins are gone. The house is quiet.” He pulled her closer. “Rest here.”

Hesitantly, she stretched out beside him. “I thought you didn't want me so near.”

“This seems a practical place with the house full. Had you rather sleep somewhere else?”

“No,” she answered quickly. Too quickly, she thought. “Here is fine.”

Daniel had to ask. The question had eaten away at him for two days and her behavior might never tell him the truth. “When I touched you a few nights ago, did you mind?”

“No.” She felt the room suddenly warm. She didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about. “I didn't mind.”

“But.” Words stumbled from his lips. “I didn't want you to feel like you had to allow-”

“If I hadn't wanted to let you, I wouldn't have, marriage or not.” She rolled on her side to face him.

“Good.” Daniel closed his eyes, worry lines disappearing from his face. “I don't want you to ever do anything you don't feel right about. This marriage should be an agreement we both make, not one setting rules for the other.”

“That sounds a fair bargain. I can ask for nothing more.” Karlee rested her head on his heart and snuggled into place. “Being here beside you feels right somehow.” She yawned. “It's felt right since the beginning.”

“Sleeping next to you does take the edge off the loneliness,” he admitted. “Once your feet get warm, it's comfortable. I see no reason we can't continue.” He could think of two reasons pressing against his side at this very moment, but if she didn't mind, he should forget about how they felt in his hand.

“I find you comfortable as well.” She tried to keep her voice steady.

They could have been poor actors rehearsing lines for all the meaning she heard in their words, but she didn't know where to start to make him care about her.

He cupped his hand over her hair and kissed her fore-head. Then, tugged at her braid, loosening the tie and pulling her hair free. “Go to sleep, my wife. I'll wake you in a few hours.”

Her exhausted body melted into the warmth at his side. She wanted to talk to him more, but all the hours without sleep piled atop her, weighing her eyes closed.

By the time he finished unthreading her braid, she was fast asleep. Slowly, he combed his hand through her thick hair, amazed at how good the strands felt to his touch.

She was his, he thought. Whether he wanted her or not, whether he ever slept with her, even if he didn't love her, she was his.

He bent and paused, almost tasting her lips now parted in sleep. Finally, he could resist no longer. It wasn't a kiss, but a taste, light and thorough across her mouth. He told himself he was just getting used to her. They were no longer strangers. It was time he stopped acting as if she'd go away when he blinked. Like it or not, she was here to stay.

Karlee turned toward him as she slept, cuddling into the safety of his arms like a child. She spread her hand over his chest.

Daniel watched her for a long while. His eyes were clearing and what he saw in the shadowy light astounded him. Her hair was the color of autumn, browns and golds and reds mixed together to make a color unlike he'd ever seen.

His hand migrated down her back, then up across her shoulder, placing her arm behind her as he reached her hand. He threaded his hand through hers thinking of how strange it felt to hold another's hand.

Slowly, very slowly, his hand crossed the front of her dress. He could imagine the softness of her breasts beneath the layers of fabric. He'd been surprised when she'd said she hadn't minded him touching her.

“Karlee?” he whispered. How could he ask to touch her again. He'd sound like a fool. “Karlee?”

“Yes,” she answered thick in sleep.

The slow rise and fall of her chest filled his hand with the shape of her breast.

Daniel froze. All he had to do was move his fingers away. But his hand now weighed a ton. He tightened his grip slightly. She moaned in her sleep but didn't pull away.

He told himself he was on fire because he hadn't touched a woman in so long. But it was more. It was Karlee.

Carefully, he unfastened the buttons at her collar, hoping to make her more comfortable. When she didn't move in sleep, he allowed his fingers to drift along the outline of her breasts once more, gently testing their fullness and shape. Then he slid his hand along her back as though she were a sculpture he had to touch to appreciate.

Brushing her lips, he wanted more of the taste of her. His hand twisted into her hair as he lightly teased her mouth with feather kisses.

She stretched in sleep, lifting up to him as though in welcome.

Moving his hand over her, his kiss deepened. He wanted more of her, far more of her. Without thought that he might wake her, he parted her lips with his tongue and drank in the flavor of her.

Her body rocked slightly, shifting beneath his touch. For a moment, he thought she struggled. But by the time he could register the thought, she'd settled once more.

He couldn't get enough of the taste of her. With a sudden hunger his hand caressed the fullness along her hip.

She moved her leg over him, cuddling against him even closer. Now she was so near he could feel her breathing. He took the weight of her rounded breasts against his chest, knowing that she'd welcome his touch when he stroked her.

She seemed to sleep so calmly while he felt himself burning. The need to feel her skin beneath his hand, to hold her against him, to blanket over her, was driving him mad.

His hand slid beneath the layers of her skirt. With only a thin cotton undergarment to cover the warmth of her flesh, he moved his fingers along her thigh.

She made a little sound and would have pulled away, but he gripped her leg tightly with one hand while the other stroked her face. When she relaxed, he kissed her tenderly.

His fingers spread over the thinly covered flesh of her backside as his mouth moved from her lips to her throat. He found the place where her blood pulsed and tasted her skin.

She moaned in need now, and he laughed as he returned to her mouth more hungry for the taste of her then ever before.

Slowly, he withdrew his hand from her skirts and spread his fingers boldly over her breast, kneading her flesh through the layers of material. She arched toward his touch as her mouth opened, responding to his hunger.

He smiled against her lips, enjoying the way she conformed so willingly to his touch. He hadn't expected it. But then, he hadn't expected Karlee at all.

Through the thickness of his mind, he heard the sounds of talking coming from the kitchen. Much as he wanted more, now was not the time or place to explore further.

His touch softened to a gentle caress, the kiss lightened. Gently, he rocked Karlee back to sleep in his arms, allowing her to grow accustomed to his hands moving over her. When her breathing had returned to its slow easy pace, he tasted her lips one last time.

“You're mine,” he whispered. But he could no longer add “whether I want you or not.”

Karlee tried to push away the voice of someone waking her. She wanted to stay asleep and continue the wonderful dream.

“Karlee,” Daniel whispered near her ear as he stroked her hair away from her face. “It's noon.”

She yawned and stretched, feeling his body beside her. “I don't want to wake up,” she answered. “I was having the most delicious dream.”

“Dreams are dreams, but the reality is we have a house full of company.” His voice softened slightly. “You can dream again tonight.”

Karlee sat up in bed and stretched. “You're right, of course. Do you need help?”

“Besides being starving,” he grumbled, “I'd like to get dressed.”

“But…”

“If you'll find my clothes, I'll be out of this bed.”

She stood and straightened her garments. “Of course. I'm a wrinkled mess too. I'll be right back.”

Within a few minutes, she brought a stack of clothes. She placed his on the bed and moved to the chair with her pile.

“I've been wearing this same dress since I put it on two days ago.” She pulled the garment over her head and tossed it on the couch. Next came the petticoat and undergarments. “It will feel so good to get into fresh-” her eyes met his just as she pulled the first button of her fresh camisole together.

“What is it, Daniel?” He seemed to have paled from a minute before.

“You're undressing in front of me,” he said so quietly she barely heard the words.

Karlee relaxed. “Of course I am. I've done it several times before. Surely you're used to the sounds by now.” She pulled on her bloomers.

Daniel reached for his pants. “Let me guess,” he said as he dressed. “You've thrown your clothes in a pile on the couch.”

“You're getting good.” She rested her foot on the bed as she pulled on her stockings.

“And right about now all you have on is your undergarments.”

“Good guess.” She laughed as she finished buttoning her camisole.

“They're white, of course.”

“Of course,” she answered.

“With a pink ribbon laced along the top just above the bustline like a drawstring.”

“I wove that in myself.” Karlee's fingers stopped at the last button where the pink ribbon crossed.

She glanced up. His blue eyes were staring directly at her. “You can see!” she mouthed the words.

“I can see.” He smiled.

Embarrassment warred with excitement inside Karlee. She quickly pulled on her dress. “I'm so thankful you can see,” she mumbled beneath the layers of her garments. “I've been hoping and praying and…”

“Karlee?”

She didn't answer but turned away from him as she buttoned her dress.

“Karlee, it's all right.”

She slowly raised her head. “I know it's all right. I just didn't know I was being watched.”

“You've nothing to be ashamed of. You have a beautiful body.”

“That's the first compliment you've ever paid me.” She walked to the door, too embarrassed to say more.

“It won't be the last,” she heard him mumble.

• • •

Karlee entered the kitchen hoping no one would notice how red her cheeks were, but her entire face felt as if it was on fire. She started lunch with little more than a smile to Allie and Adam.

Allie must have stayed close to John all morning, talking with him and not just to him for the first time. She'd even managed to get him to wear a pair of trousers.

Wes wandered in with a nod to Karlee before sitting down at the table. He tried to get his wife's attention so he could tell Allie all about the fine horse he'd bought for John.

Daniel entered without a word but fully dressed. He made his way slowly to the table and sat down across from Wes.

Karlee tried not to look at her husband's face while she served the soup. She told herself his caresses had been a dream and she'd been asleep, but she knew both were lies.

Adam broke the silence. “He's up and dressed. I guess the morning nap was the best medicine he's had.” Adam pointed to Daniel but winked at Karlee.

“And he can see,” Karlee volunteered.

“A little,” Daniel answered as Adam forgot the meal and started examining him.

“A lot,” Karlee corrected. She sat down at the only chair left. The one beside Daniel. To her surprise he made no attempt to keep his leg from brushing hers. To her shock, neither did she.

Everyone talked at once as they ate her potato soup and crumbly cornbread. Karlee had to give the McLains credit. They all thanked the cook politely, as though they didn't notice the poor quality of her skill.

“If you think you're able to make it on your own, I thought I'd head back with Wes and Allie toward home.” Adam leaned in his chair. “I know Nichole will be wishing me home by now. I'll ask the doc in town to come by and change your bandage.”

“There's no need,” Daniel answered calmly. “Karlee will do it for me. She does a better job than the old doc does anyway.” He absently slid his hand along his leg, brushing hers with his movement.

“Allie and I could stay another few days if you think there will be any trouble,” Wes volunteered, even as his wife frowned.

“No need,” Daniel promised. “Wolf's here in case trouble explodes the minute you leave.”

Both older brothers laughed as if they half expected their little brother to find calamity the minute they weren't around, just as he did when he was a kid.

After lunch, the four left for Wes and Allie's ranch with no ropes around Allie's brother. It would take a long time to find the John Sheridan inside the Apache. A part of him would always be the free warrior.

When they were gone, Wolf insisted on going after the twins only to return a few hours later to report that the Buchanans wanted to allow Karlee and Daniel time alone. He also brought supper, saying it was the first installment on Adam's bill for delivering the baby.

Karlee laughed, knowing that, more likely, Granny thought the men starved from having to eat Karlee's cooking. Also, she and Daniel needed no time by themselves. Alone or with a house full of people wouldn't matter. Nothing would happen between them, she thought. They were simply getting used to one another, nothing more.

She dressed for bed, then tapped on the parlor door. She wasn't sure if she should ask to sleep with Daniel or not.

Daniel sat up in his bed reading, a blue ribbon twisted around his fingers. “What is it, Karlee?”

He sounded tired. He'd pushed himself to stay up all afternoon moving around the house, forcing his leg to take his weight. Several times on the porch, Daniel and Wolf talked, almost arguing about something. Karlee hadn't caught more than a few words, but she remembered hearing Lieutenant Logan's name whispered as an oath more than once.

“I thought I'd change the bandage,” she offered as she entered Daniel's room.

“All right.” He lifted the covers off his wounded leg.

Karlee tried not to let her hands shake as she worked. “It's almost healed.” She said the obvious. “How are your eyes?”

“They sting some and hurt when I touch them, but other than that, I can almost see to read.” His words were impersonal. The fact that they were alone seemed to bother him rather than make him feel comfortable. He twisted the ribbon tightly across his fingers.

“I moved back into my room upstairs.” Karlee tried to keep her hand steady as she wrapped the leg. If he wanted her to stay, he'd have to ask.

“That's for the best,” Daniel finally answered.

He now seemed to be strangling the velvet ribbon in his fingers. She could almost hear him say, “I want no wife. I want no more children. I'll never love again.” The ribbon had somehow reminded him of those promises.

Karlee finished and climbed the stairs to her room. For the first time since she'd been in Texas, she reached for the box beneath her bed.

Her letters.

No matter where she traveled, she always took the box with her. It was all she had left of her parents-their letters to one another while her father was away at sea. She'd read them so many times, the paper bent beneath her touch, as pliable as cloth.

Carefully, she lifted the first letter dated before she was born.

“ My darling, my love,” it started.

One by one, she read the letters. They told a story of a young couple desperately in love. Again and again, her father begged her mother to sail with him. Over and over, she wrote of reasons she couldn't. Then, finally, in the last letter, she promised she'd go with him on the next voyage.

Karlee closed her eyes and remembered the last day she'd seen her parents. They'd left her on the dock crying in her grandmother's arms as they sailed. She'd waved until the ship disappeared over the horizon.

A month later, they were gone. Another month and her grandmother died. By Christmas, Karlee was alone. Totally alone. One unanswered question had haunted her from the day she'd bid them farewell. Why hadn't they taken her with them?

She scrubbed her eyes with her fists and hurried downstairs. She needed to feel the wind in her hair.

For a long while, she stood on the cold front porch and listened to the wind stir the branches. The air was humid, turning her hair wild with tiny curls, but she didn't care.

Finally, when she could breathe deep without choking back tears, she went inside.

Daniel's door was open, but his light was out. He was back in his dark world once more to sleep.

She tiptoed to his bed and made sure he was covered.

Without warning, his hand grabbed her arm. “What is it?” His voice was too harsh for him to have been asleep.

“I was just tucking you in.” She pulled at his grip.

“I don't need a nurse,” he answered. “I'm not a child who must be checked on at night.”

“I know.” She stepped away in the blackness. The dark mood that haunted him earlier remained.

“Then go to bed, Karlee. We both need time.”

His words were almost a slap, but this time she wondered if the harshness were for her benefit, or his own. If they couldn't talk about what happened between them, maybe they did both need time. After all, they had a lifetime.

Karlee pressed her lips together, wishing she could see him. “Must you always be so short with me?”

The room waited in total stillness. “Yes,” he finally said without explanation.

Karlee could barely see his outline. He still sat up in bed. He hadn't been asleep at all, and it was growing very late. Where was the man Wes and Adam had talked about who loved a wife so much? Who always helped people? Who protected his children with his life? Did he plan to display that kindness to all the world except her?

Karlee raised her head. She could live with that. She'd lived in houses where they openly hated her for inconveniencing them. She could live with his coldness.

“All right.” She reached the door. “It doesn't matter to me, but I should tell you something.”

“What?”

Karlee smiled, anticipating how much her words would bother him and delighting in the thought. “I've decided, Daniel McLain, to love you for the rest of my life.”