To Wed In Texas

EIGHT

KARLEE STAYED WITH AMYANN UNTIL HER NEIGHBORS came to take the new mother home. The women might have been afraid to come to the cemetery during the funeral, but they promised to stay with AmyAnn and the baby until she was able to get around by herself.

To Karlee's surprise they all took turns hugging her as if she were a long time member of their circle. Several promised to come by and visit. She'd never felt so welcomed in her life.

Karlee hugged the new mother and kissed the baby, then walked home alone in the late afternoon sun. She'd stuffed the derringer in the pocket of her skirt. “Forget about it,” she told herself, but the thumping of metal against her leg kept reminding her that she carried a weapon.

All the day's stress pressed over her body, tiring muscles and making her step heavy. Blood and dirt splattered the front of her dress. Her hair ribbon had disappeared. She knew she looked a fright, but she'd never felt so satisfied.

She'd done something right! All day, as AmyAnn slept in the grass and Karlee cradled the baby, she'd felt a pride in herself unlike she'd ever known. The doctor left them in her care, trusting her to do what was right. He'd ordered Karlee not to move the little widow until he finished his rounds and came back to make sure she was strong enough to travel.

When he returned, he told Karlee that if she ever needed a position as a nurse, she had one with him.

Karlee opened the kitchen door, thinking how odd life was. A week ago she had no way of supporting herself, and today she'd been offered her second job. Maybe when Daniel didn't need her to watch the twins any longer, she could visit with the doctor. She was sure nurses didn't make much, but she didn't need much. She could rent a room and live alone.

“About time you got home, Cousin,” Wolf boomed in welcome. “I'm worn out playing with these two. Danny left an hour ago, saying he'd be back before dark. I don't think I'll stay alive if I don't get some relief.”

Karlee looked past Wolf to the kitchen. Forty field hands could have done no more damage. Pots and pans were everywhere on the floor. Dirty dishes filled the sink.

“Wish I could stay and help you clean up.” Wolf stood slowly and moved toward the door as she walked around the room. “But I got to go. A bar fight looks down right restful at this point.”

He broke into a run as if he feared she might catch him and make him help. Karlee laughed at the sight of such a cowardly uncle. The twins joined her by dancing around and giggling.

“What have you two and Uncle Wolf been doing?” Karlee brushed their hair with her hand.

One of the girls proudly showed off a paper chain necklace. “We made paper chains. Uncle Wolf didn't know how to make the paste, so he tried lots of ways.”

“And he made us jelly sandwiches with eggs inside,” the other twin added. “And we drank coffee with cream from the tea cups. And he said we didn't have to take a nap, just because.”

The first twin nodded.

They didn't need to list their activities for the day, Karlee could read it on their clothes. Jelly, flour, dried paste, coffee stains.

“Well, I've got one last treat for you.” Karlee reached for the tub leaning in the corner.

Ten minutes later, she had both twins playing in a bath of warm water while she washed the dishes a few feet away at the sink.

By the time she toweled them off, their skin was all wrinkly, and they were too sleepy to dress themselves. She gave each a cup of buttermilk with cornbread pieces crumbled up in it.

They ate their supper, then didn't complain as she carried them up to bed. Karlee was a little surprised when both hugged and kissed her cheek goodnight. Somehow the sleepy little hugs and the buttermilk kisses made it all worthwhile.

Karlee crossed to her bedroom and changed into Rosy's huge hand-me-down nightgown. She placed the tiny derringer the doctor gave her in the top of the chest of drawers, knowing there was no way the twins could find or reach the weapon. It would probably be better to unload the thing, but Karlee wasn't sure she knew how. Tomorrow, she'd return it.

The house was in shadows when she went back downstairs. Instead of going to the kitchen, she walked across the entry hall and out the front door, needing the cool night air. When she was a child she used to pretend the wind was her mother's fingers brushing her hair at night.

The long porch on the front of the house had been built with thin slats from the railing to the roof. The slats let air onto the porch but blocked most of the view of anyone passing. In the twilight, the area shone like a dream come to life, with slivers of silver slicing across the night every few inches. At this hour, anyone on the porch could never be fully in darkness, or in day.

Karlee closed her eyes, enjoying the cool breeze and the sounds of evening. Far away crickets and frogs whispered to one another. Somewhere out of sight, horses shuffled and whinnied. She could almost hear the sound of dishes clanking against tables and children being called to supper. A hundred sounds blended together until none were known but all seemed familiar.

A movement in the darkness of the porch startled her. She froze, wishing she'd slipped the derringer into the pocket of her robe.

“Who's there?” She inched toward the door and safety.

“Don't be frightened.” Daniel's voice drifted across the night.

Karlee straightened, angry at herself for panicking at the first sound. “I wasn't. I was only alarmed. I thought the porch empty.”

“I didn't mean to startle you.”

Something sounded different in his voice, a sadness, a longing, a sorrow too great to speak. He could be no more than ten feet from her, but his words echoed as though they crossed ages of time and space.

She moved toward him, unsure of what to do to help. He was a man who wore his sorrow silently without expecting condolence, but the very air around him was humid with unshed tears. She guessed if she tried to penetrate his invisible barriers with sympathy, he'd block her efforts and resent her attempt to trespass into his private hell.

An empty whiskey bottle toppled at her foot and rolled lazily toward the steps.

“You've been drinking,” she said the obvious.

“Not enough,” he answered.

“I never thought you'd be a drinking man.” She could only be honest, for no lies would fit between them in this perfect time separating day and night.

“I'm not.” He slipped into the deeper shadows near the house, covering his mood as effectively as he concealed his body. “Maybe I would be if it helped, but it doesn't. How's Jesse's wife?”

“She's fine. The doctor made her rest in the cemetery for a while. With the blanket walls as shade, it wasn't so bad.”

“And the boy?”

“He's wonderful. AmyAnn wants me to bring the twins and come out to see her in a week or so. If you have no objection.”

He didn't answer.

Karlee moved closer. “I kind of lied about my experience with birthing. In truth, I have been near several times. But all I did was fetch water and carry out soiled linens to wash. I lived with a cousin of my father's once who was a midwife. She'd wake me up to go and tote for her.”

She could feel him watching her in the half-light, but he didn't speak.

“It was hard some days. I'd be up with her all night, and her husband would still expect me to work a full day come dawn. He always said I was lazy. Once when he caught me asleep in the field, he refused to let anyone feed me for two days.”

“Why didn't you run away?” Daniel sounded as if he didn't quite believe her story.

“I couldn't have been more than eight. I'm not sure. My folks drowned when I was six. There were no birthdays after that. Aunt Rosy figures my age by the number of years since my parents died plus six. Since they died in the fall, I turn a year older just as it starts to get cold.”

“Did you live with those cousins long?”

“No, I never lived any place long. I stayed with Aunt Rosy and Aunt Violet almost three years. That's the longest I've ever been anywhere.” Karlee stiffened, realizing she'd told him too much. “Don't go feeling sorry for me. I don't want roots. I'm not some orphan looking for a home.”

He didn't answer. She could just make out his outline leaning against the house in a place where shadows doubled over him.

She changed the subject. “I figured out what happened today. You were-”

“Don't speak of it,” Daniel snapped. “Don't ever speak a word of what you think happened. We buried Jesse Blair today, and his wife gave birth to a child. That's all that happened.”

“Not saying something doesn't make it not happen,” she answered, resenting being snapped at. If she didn't know better she would think she talked to a child trying to pick a fight. “You can't just-”

Daniel moved so suddenly she didn't have time to react before he closed his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. One hand covered her mouth while the other held her in an iron grip.

His rough jaw rubbed along her cheek as he whispered very low in her ear. “Speaking of what happened could get us all killed, Miss Whitworth. I've been to the stockade where the overflow of prisoners are held. Jesse's brother is scheduled to die in less than a week. If Jesse wasn't dead, he'd be swinging beside his brother.”

“But…”

He didn't allow her to ask. “Lieutenant Logan wanted Jesse but now it seems his brother will do. Logan saw Jesse as trouble. I think he thought if he could hang Jesse, he'd stop all this undercurrent of hate. Since Jesse was buried, someone has to take his place in Logan's plan and the brother seems to be the best choice although there doesn't seem to be any proof the man had committed any crime.”

For a moment, he continued to hold her, pressing her close. She couldn't tell if he wanted to frighten her or needed the nearness of another human, if only in this stiff, forced hug. His heart pounded against hers. His face moved slightly next to her hair. His fingers trailed from her mouth and rested along her throat.

She didn't pull away, but raised her hands to his shoulders and stood on tiptoes to whisper. “Jesse's still alive, isn't he?”

“Yes,” Daniel answered finally, in a voice so low she barely heard. “But if anyone besides us knows, he'll be hunted down and truly buried.”

“What about his wife and the baby?” She leaned closer to his ear, making sure no one hiding in the shadows could overhear. Someone passing who caught a glimpse of them would only think they were lovers in an embrace. But this nearness was far from an embrace. They were trapped together in the need to keep another man's secret.

Daniel took his time answering her as he brushed her hair away from her cheek. “When she's able, she'll go further west. Past Fort Worth no one thinks about Reconstruction. They've got too many other problems. She'll meet up with him there and start over.”

“And the brother?”

“I'll do what I can.” He hesitated a moment before adding, “I'll do what I have to.”

She had a feeling that this preacher might cross the law if he had to.

“But, thanks to you, Jesse and AmyAnn have a son to raise.”

Karlee lowered her head. “I didn't do anything,” she mumbled against his chest, but she couldn't help smiling.

“You did a great deal.” He brushed his cheek against her hair. “And you know it.”

She felt his laughter more than heard it.

“Of course, according to the story Wolf is telling in town, he did most of the work.” Daniel's hold around her relaxed, but he didn't step away. “He delivered that baby all by himself while Union troops threatened to charge and shoot. He held his knife in one hand to cut the cord and a rifle in the other while the undertakers put poor Jesse in the ground.”

Karlee joined in the laughter. All the day had been like a dream, part nightmare, part fantasy. Now, with Daniel's arms around her, she could almost believe it wouldn't end. She felt a part of something… or someone.

Hoping she could truly be a part of this world she'd stumbled into, she whispered, “Do you do this kind of thing often?”

He lowered his head a little, touching her cheek with his words. “Would it bother you if I did, Spinster Whitworth? Would you leave and run back to the aunts if all days were like today?”

Karlee closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the scent of him. All her life, she'd wished for an ounce of adventure, and today she'd had a gallon. Hundreds, maybe thousands of days while she'd worked in the garden, or done laundry, or cleaned, she'd dreamed of living a life on the edge of danger. What Daniel had done today was good and right, even if it had been against the law. She could ask for no greater cause than to help someone. She knew she'd live this day hundreds of times in her mind. She'd had a taste and would always long for more.

“No,” she answered. “I'll not leave you and run back to the aunts, if you'll promise to follow one rule.”

Daniel stiffened and moved an inch away. “What rule?”

“You'll tell me the truth about the dangers you face. I'll gladly stay home with the twins and keep them safe, if you'll promise to tell me everything that happens. If I know what's going on I can make wiser choices.”

Daniel hesitated. “I'm not used to telling anyone. I thought you'd ask to be kept in the dark; it would be safer. Then if you're ever questioned, you'll know nothing. Knowing too much in this part of the country can be as dangerous as not knowing enough.”

“The truth, the day it happens, if I'm to stay. That's my price.”

“But it's late sometimes before I get in.”

“Wake me,” she answered. “The truth, the day.”

Daniel shook his head. “I'm no good at talking.”

“You'll have to learn if you want me to stay.” She knew she was pushing him, but she'd live an adventure even if it came secondhand through him.

“All right. No matter what, if there is trouble, I'll let you know. You've proven your bravery today. If I trust you with my children, I can trust you with my life.”

“And you'll let me help if I can?”

Daniel smiled. “I'll let you help if you can. But don't expect to live a highwayman's life judging from today. Most of what I do is just paperwork, trying to help people find their footing after being knocked down by the war. Most days here are no more adventurous than back home in Indiana.”

“Does Aunt Rosy know about what you're doing here in Texas?”

“No. And I hadn't planned on you knowing about it. We're just a few men trying to prevent a handful of sour Union officers from being harder than they need to be and a few Rebs from taking the law in their own hands.”

“A small group of men and one woman,” she corrected.

Daniel laughed and moved several inches away. “Shall we seal our bargain with a handshake?”

“No.” Karlee felt like she'd just stepped to the edge of a cliff, and it was time to jump. “With a kiss,” she blurted out, taking the plunge.

He wasn't touching her, but she could sense his body tighten. She'd gone too far, she knew it. But there was no turning back now.

“Karlee,” he finally found his voice. “I can't feel anything… there can never been anything between… I'm dead inside since…”

“I don't care,” she hardened herself against the rejection. Her hands balled in fists. If she were changing her life to one of adventure, she might as well start now. “You don't have to feel anything and neither do I, but I've made it to the ripe old age of spinsterhood without ever having a man kiss me. I'd like you to correct that problem, and I'll never ask again for such a favor.”

Daniel remained stone.

“I know I'm not one of those pretty, petite, young girls every man longs to embrace, but I'd still like to at least understand what the act's all about.”

He didn't answer, making her feel dead-toad ugly. She tried to shrink a few inches shorter and wondered if she'd combed her hair at all today.

“You do know how, don't you?” she asked, more angry at herself for proposing such a thing than him for hesitating. But there was no way to back down now.

“Of course I know how,” Daniel answered, equally as angry.

He probably didn't want to kiss her any more than anyone else ever had, but she was twenty-three, and since no man had made a move, it was time she did the asking. He didn't seem to find her all that repulsive- after all, he'd pecked her on the cheek. That almost counted, she reasoned.

“Then kiss me and seal the bargain between us. Once, just once, but it has to be real.”

He didn't respond, and she realized her “good idea” was crumbling like an overbaked corncake. Embarrassment rose, firing into her face. She'd probably burn him if he did touch her. He must be so shocked by her request, he couldn't speak.

“Oh, forget it!”

Karlee ran into the house, welcoming the cool darkness that closed around her. Tears blurred her vision as she hurried toward the stairs. When was she ever going to learn to keep her mouth shut? The aunts were right. She was an idiot destined to make a fool of herself at every opportunity. If the aunts were here, this story would keep them laughing for a month.

Her hand touched the railing a moment before Daniel caught up with her. He closed his grip over her shoulder so suddenly the force pulled her backward against him.

She cried in surprise when he twisted her around and flattened her back against the wall. Fear danced in her blood as he held her upright and leaned toward her.

“We seal the bargain. Once and for all, you'll be able to say you've been kissed, Spinster Whitworth.” Angry words brushed against her cheek as the weight of his body pressed against her.

His mouth closed over hers, hard and strong. His body pushed her to the wall.

Karlee fought to free herself. This wasn't what she wanted, not at all. She'd seen couples kiss at weddings and a few times when they thought no one was watching. A kiss was soft and petal-light on the lips, not bruising hard. He wasn't supposed to press her mouth against her teeth. He must know even less than she did. Or maybe he'd forgotten? Or maybe he wanted to hurt her?

As she struggled against his hold, Daniel's fingers moved down her arms, pinning her limbs with the length of his body. She jerked her head away, but his followed. When she tried to cry out, he invaded the inside of her mouth, taking her breath away.

Tears of anger bubbled in her eyes as she tried to kick at his legs and jab at his chest.

After a while, she stopped struggling, exhausted at the wasted effort for the force of his advance never lessened.

When she went limp in his arms, he loosened his hold on her and moved his fingers into her hair. With her head held still, the kiss changed, softened. He no longer demanded her response. He silently asked.

Karlee closed her eyes and let the wave of sensations wash over her. The pounding of his heart against hers. The feel of his strength all along her body. The warmth of his hands on her face. The demands of a kiss unlike she'd ever dreamed existed.

She relaxed in his arms, letting him guide her. He was not taking, but giving her what she'd requested. A kiss, a real kiss. It was so much more than she thought it might be. She'd never be able to forget. She'd been kissed, fully and completely kissed.

His hands turned gentle, almost hesitant, as he touched her face and brushed her hair back. She joined in the embrace doing as he did, letting his lips teach her with tender patterns. He brushed her arms, catching her hands and bringing them to rest on his shoulders. When she raised her arms to circle his neck, he sighed and leaned into her body, pressing her gently along the length of him.

The kiss changed once more. A fire seemed to build between them. A fire that might consume them both. He wove his fingers in her hair and closed his hand into a fist as though he needed to hold on while the kiss raged through them both. The taste of him was a part of her now. The feel of him, a need growing as he pressed against her. Even her breathing matched his as though they would forever be the same now they'd found the same rhythm.

Just when she thought she'd surely died and floated up to heaven, the kiss ended as suddenly as it began. He shoved away from her with such force she felt the wall creak.

“There.” He was out of breath as if he'd been running for miles. “You've been kissed.”

Karlee waited. It couldn't be over! It couldn't be. Surely he wanted to continue as desperately as she did.

She opened her eyes.

He was gone.