Torn

Chapter 16

Never Say Never

As I stand here fastening the bow around my waist, I can’t help but think how similar the past few days appear to all the ones that preceded them—and yet there’s something fundamentally different. River has had to meet with Ellie every day and I’ve been trying to work, too, but I’ve passed most of the jobs that have come my way on to someone else. I’m just not up to styling and photographing upcoming album releases. When River comes home his stress level is always off the charts. We haven’t talked much about anything important. Instead we’ve spent our time playing board games or in bed.

I haven’t told him about what happened with Grace. She’s tried to contact me every day but I’ve avoided her calls as well as Serena’s. Ben has been calling, too. He keeps leaving short messages asking me to call him, to meet him, begging me to give him a chance. After the fifth one I stopped listening and now just delete them. Yesterday, when I met Aerie in Laguna to shop for River’s surprise party, he even left another note on my car. The stress of avoiding everyone and not telling River everything is really starting to get to me, so planning his birthday present with Bell’s help has been a welcome distraction.

I check out my reflection in the mirror, everything seems to be in place. I’m a little nervous about the present; I’ve never done anything like this before. Bell threw the idea out there and then actually helped me pick out the entire ensemble. She told me the key to doing a striptease was to select the last thing that comes off, first. So once I selected that, I chose a very sexy black bra, matching thong, and thigh-high stockings with garters. Bell wanted me to use the stay-up hose. But I remember how much River liked garters the last time I wore them, when we first reconnected in Vegas. My top layer was an easy choice: a very sheer short black dress with ankle-strap stilettos. God, I hope I don’t fall over in them.

Feeling more confident, I put my robe on, push away all thoughts except those of him, and take a deep breath. I can do this. I wanted to give him a present he’d never forget and I’m sure he won’t forget this, whether I’m able to complete the dance or not.

When he enters our bedroom, I turn and smile. He’s dressed and ready for dinner. Game on. He looks incredibly hot in his gray button-up shirt and black jeans.

Trying not to laugh I ask, “You’re not wearing that, are you?”

He looks down. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? It should be fine for the restaurant.”

“Oh, it’s okay for Swoonworthy’s,” I say as I untie my robe to give him a sneak peak, and then promptly tie it back up. “But we aren’t going there just yet,” I tease.

His mouth drops open. I point to the chair in the corner of our bedroom, the one near the window, and motion for him to sit down. Once he sits, I light the candles I scattered around the room earlier.

As I walk around the room getting things ready, I drop my robe when I’m standing in front of him. Moving behind him, I purposely get extremely close, but don’t touch him; I shut the blackout curtains instead. He tries to pull me to him, but I swat his hand. When he protests I turn to him and say, “Shh . . . no talking,” and then I wave my finger, saying, “And no touching. My rules.” I stuck with the no-touching rule, even though I wanted to throw that rule away the minute I opened my robe and saw the look on his face.

He grins and folds his arms while outstretching his legs.

Turning on my preselected music, “For Your Entertainment” starts to play and I know I picked the right song because by the look on his face he’s truly entertained.

The sensual rhythm of the song helps guide me through my dance. When I feel comfortable enough to move to its beat, I strut over to him and walk around the chair. From behind I run my hands up his chest and then drag my fingers through his hair. Unfolding his arms, he tries to take my hand, but I motion with a no-no wave of my finger. I watch him as I dance across the room. His eyes never leave mine—he’s transfixed on my every move and I feel like he wants to devour me whole. His grin has disappeared and his face is now a picture of pure lust. I notice his every movement when he shifts in his seat and pulls his legs in.

Striding to the center of the room, I turn my back to him. Staring over my shoulder, I meet his eyes. Unzipping my dress, I make a show out of bending forward to step out of it. I’m actually doing this. A striptease. By the time the second song, “Little Bad Girl,” starts playing, I’ve lost all my inhibitions and just let go.

Never dropping my gaze, I prance over to him and place one foot on his knee. His legs widen, he slouches down in the chair a bit, his mouth drops open, and his breath hitches. I motion for him to unbuckle my straps, and he takes full advantage of being allowed to touch me. He reaches behind my knee and glides his fingers slowly down my calf until he reaches my foot. As he undoes my strap, he bends down and kisses my ankle, letting the shoe fall to the ground. When I put my other foot on his knee, he slides it up his leg to pull me closer. Biting his lip, he stares into my eyes. Without looking he unbuckles the strap and tosses my shoe over his shoulder.

Once he has removed my shoes all the rules are back on. Wanting to tease him, I leave my toes between his legs and slowly roll my stockings down. When I wrap the hose around his neck, he grabs my leg. I take a step backward, shaking my head and waving my finger back and forth. He groans and I smile.

“Right, your rules. I have a bit of a problem with them,” he says in a lower voice before he leans back in the chair. I shush him and can’t help but smile again. I made the right choice with this gift.

To further tease, I walk over to my hope chest and place one foot on top of it. I keep my foot pointed as I slowly caress my hose down my leg. When he curses under his breath, my smile widens.

I’m almost done and his reaction is better than I ever imagined. His green eyes are mesmerizing; they’re really the most beautiful shade of green I have ever seen. I unbuckle my bra and slowly slide first one, and then the other bra strap down my shoulder. Pulling the bra off, I hold it by the straps with my arms above my head and then drop it to the floor. I cross my arms and hands over my breasts then slowly turn around. His lips part and his head falls back. When I slide my hands across my body to reveal myself he curses even louder.

Alternating between clutching the sides of the chair and tapping his fingers, it’s obvious my rules are killing him—his body language and his piercing eyes tell me so. Prancing back over to him, I use my hands to push his knees further apart then prepare to strip off my final layer. Tucking my thumbs inside the string circling my hips, I begin to lower them, inch by inch, and once they pass my hips, I sit on his knee and slide them the rest of the way down. When they reach my ankles, he grabs them and brings them to his nose. Standing up I take a step back to finish my dance, but he stands up and grabs me. With his mouth over mine he growls, “Fuck, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. You have no idea the things I want to do to you right now. I’m done following your rules.” Then he crushes his lips to mine and thoroughly kisses me.

I pull back and smile at him, pointing to the one thing remaining on my body—the red ribbon around my waist, and say, “Happy Birthday, River, you can unwrap your present now.”

As River zips his pants back up, he jokes that he would’ve been fine with me wearing the sheer black dress to dinner. But I’m already slipping into the new outfit Aerie helped me pick out—a short strapless silver beaded dress with matching strappy sandals. He also suggests we stay in for dinner, but I tell him I want to take him out to celebrate his birthday. I have to get him out of the house so Bell and Charlotte can set up for the party.

Our quiet dinner is a welcome distraction from all the chaos at home. It’s nice to be able to just sit and talk. I finally tell him about my argument with Grace. He listens but refrains from judging her. We talk in detail about his reservations concerning the upcoming tour, mainly his lack of interest in being out on the road—but we know there is no real solution for that. Discussing it further is fruitless because it always comes back to the fact that he can’t let his brother and the other band members down.

We also talk a little bit about Tyler Records. Jack has recently acquired some small production companies and is looking for someone to run them. River tells me Jack asked him if he knew of anyone and River had suggested me. Jack has been trying to get River to take one over for a while.

I’m shocked. “I can’t run a production company! Besides, I haven’t even managed to get the business I’m working on now off the ground.”

He grabs my hand. “I’ll help you. We can find unknown talent and help them kick-start their dreams.”

I shake my head. “This isn’t the time to start a new business, River. You have to get through this tour and then we can talk about next steps.”

River nods and with his eyes fixed on mine he says, “Yeah, I know you’re right, it’s just something I wouldn’t mind doing some day.”

Once our food arrives we push the heavy conversations aside and just enjoy each other’s company. He runs his hand up my thigh and I kick off a shoe, sliding a toe down the inside of his leg. By the time we leave the restaurant we are both ready to get home—too bad we aren’t going to be alone for a long while.

Pulling into the driveway after our romantic dinner, he parks in the garage and we head up the stairs toward the kitchen door. I have to fend off his wandering hands. I don’t want him to get too carried away when I know we are going to be opening the door to a house full of people who have parked their cars in River’s mother’s driveway. Charlotte helped Bell with all the details for the party, but she didn’t want to hang around and invade her children’s space. I laughed at this because all three of her children love having her around, and to be honest, so do I.

Opening the door first, I walk into the kitchen. He’s behind me and his hands are on my hips. He’s kissing my neck when everyone yells, “Surprise!” Judging by the look of shock on his face, he really is surprised, and that thrills me.

I grab my camera and start snapping pictures. As we greet everyone in the kitchen, Bell brings us both a drink. She looks amazing and sexy as hell in her red lace dress with nude underlay. The deep V-neck and red leather waistband make it unlike any dress I’ve ever seen before and her heels must be at least five inches. With stick-straight hair now more red than copper she looks like a movie star. I snap a photo of her with River and can’t help but think that she really outdid herself. The house is packed. Party decorations stream across every room, and there is a fully stocked bar in the kitchen. She even had a stage set up down on the pool patio and the band we heard at the bar the other night is supposed to be playing.

When we finally make our way into the living room, Garrett is busy serving drinks, Xander is sitting on the couch with some girl I’ve never seen before, and Nix is out back with the band. Aerie couldn’t make it. At the last minute she got called to Las Vegas to conduct an interview because the employee who was scheduled to do it quit. Ellie, on the other hand, is here and lighting up the room in her wrap dress that’s more unwrapped than wrapped. Hers is one picture I purposely don’t take. She’s talking to someone from the label I’ve met, but can’t recall his name. She sees us, deposits her gift on the coffee table, and heads our way. I can just barely see the gift through the designer wrapping paper—it’s a baseball of some sort in a case. Hmmm . . . she doesn’t even know River prefers basketball. In fact, for the rest of his gift, I got us courtside season tickets for the Lakers and I plan to put on my jersey and give them to him tonight.

Smiling as she approaches with her cleavage on full display she says, “Happy Birthday, River,” and reaches up to kiss him. I’m not sure if she was aiming for his lips, but I notice him turn his head and she kisses him on the cheek. We chat with her for a bit until River excuses us to go greet the other guests.

As we mingle, I sip another glass of champagne and River is handed a birthday shot every time he starts a new conversation. I leave him chatting with Xander and join Bell in the kitchen where she looks insanely mad as she chews on her bottom lip. “What’s wrong?”

“Tom was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago!”

“Tom who?”

“Doesn’t River tell you anything? Tom is the bassist for the Mighty Storm.”

“He’s coming here? Why?”

She puts her hands on her hips and says, “Because he’s my boyfriend!”

“I thought the drummer from the band that played at Smitten’s the other night was your boyfriend.”

“Reston and I broke up ages ago, I met Tom last night,” she says, completely exasperated.

“Isn’t he here now?”

“Tom?”

“No, Reston, isn’t he down there playing?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t he be?”

“Never mind. By the way, thank you so much for getting this all together on such short notice. You did a great job.”

“No problem. Now enough with the compliments and the boyfriend talk. I’m dying to know if my pole-dancing classes paid off . . . was I a good teacher? Were you able to pull off the dance?”

I look at her and raise my eyebrow. “Of course I was, I’m not completely incompetent when it comes to seduction.”

She puts her hands over her ears as she says, “La la la! Can’t hear you!”

I start laughing. “You asked.”

“All I wanted to know was if my teaching skills paid off, I didn’t mean I wanted to hear about the seduction of my brother.”

“Definitely paid off!” I wink. “I’m going to go find him now,” I tell her as I leave the kitchen.

Looking for River, I run into a few people along the way. Spotting him, I head his way as Scandalicious plays “Some Nights.” He’s downing another shot at the pool table. He sees me and motions for me to dance with him just as the band moves into “TiK ToK.” The female lead singer sounds similar to Ke$ha, but when Reston chimes in he sounds exactly like P. Diddy. As soon as Reston starts the song with “Hey, what up, girl?” River starts to rock his head from one shoulder to the other in an almost robotic movement and I laugh, knowing we’re going to have a good time. I raise my hands above my head and move my hips to the beat. As they hit the chorus River presses his body flush against mine and grinds his hips into me while dropping a kiss on my neck.

“What the fuck? Don’t tell me you’re just as pussy-whipped as this asshole over here!” yells a guy about ten feet away. Twisting around to see who it is, I can only assume it’s Tom since he has his arm slung over Bell’s shoulder. He’s good-looking and Bell certainly seems to be attracted to him. He’s about my height, his hair is the same light-brown color as River’s but his face is rounder.

My head snaps to the right when I see a taller figure standing beside him. I can’t believe it—and I have what I can only describe as a fan-girl moment. As my mouth drops, so do my hands. I take a step back and just stand in shock. River sees Jake and grins from ear to ear. It’s Jake, Jake Wethers in the flesh! The ultimate bad boy of rock is at my house wearing his trademark black jeans and black T-shirt.

Looking at me suspiciously, River grabs my hand and leads me over to them. I can see Jake’s famous tattoos on his arms and his blue eyes really do look like the ocean in contrast to his black hair. As we approach them, River sticks his hand out to Jake. “Hey man, how are you? Long time no see.”

Jake clasps his hand and shakes it. “Too long, man. I heard you guys are hitting the road soon. Would have been nice to have joined up again. Who knows?—the Mighty Storm might be opening for you one day.”

River chuckles then swings his arm over my shoulder and says, “This is my girl, Dahlia. Dahlia, you know Jake. I’m pretty sure you told me you follow his career.”

I shoot River an I-just-might-kill-you look. I can’t believe he essentially just introduced me as a groupie.

“Nice to meet you, Dahlia,” Jake says and I can’t help but smile.

“And this is my Tru,” Jake says but continues draping his arm over the shoulder of the girl next to him.

River reaches out his hand and as she shakes it she says, “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard all about you and the band. Jake only has nice things to say about you.”

River says hello and graciously accepts the compliment.

Tru and I then shake hands and exchange niceties. I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is.

Tom sticks his hand out to River and says, “Hey man, good to see you, but am I the only one with a dick around here?”

He nods to me and says, “Hello, gorgeous.”

Jake punches him in the arm. “Paws to yourself.”

Tom rolls his eyes and turns, grabbing Bell by the ass. I guess Bell knows everyone already and she’s skipping the introductions since Tom now has his tongue down her throat.

“Don’t mind Tom, he likes to think he’s hot shit,” Tru says and I can’t help but laugh.

Tru and I then start talking about life on the road. She has been on tour with Jake so I have a ton of questions for her.

At some point I notice Bell and Tom have disappeared, but the rest of the party is in full swing. Everyone is singing along with the band, drinking, dancing, and having a great time. When Scandalicious takes a break, all the guys gather around River and start pouring shots of tequila.

I drag Tru to the kitchen with me and leave River with the guys. We need to do the cake because if we don’t sing “Happy Birthday” soon, I’m not sure River will be able to blow out the candles. After giving Tru a brief tour of the house, we walk into the kitchen and I see Bell.

“Bell, I think it’s time . . .” I trail off when I see she’s on the phone with her head down and her hand over her free ear. I turn back to Tru and see Jake in the kitchen doorway.

“Sweetheart, we have to go,” he says to Tru.

“Baby, they haven’t even had the cake yet.”

“Fucking Tom’s already in the car,” he mutters to her.

She rolls her eyes. “Tell me again why we rode with him?”

“No fucking idea, baby.”

We say our goodbyes and I walk them to the door. Looking outside I can see Tom sitting in his car on the phone and another car behind him, which I can only guess holds the security team.

After they leave, I make my way back to the kitchen and see Bell step into the other room, still on the phone and seemingly arguing. I’m sure she’s talking to Tom and I wonder if they broke up already. As I’m putting the candles on the cake, Caleb walks in and looks around before waving me over.

I walk over as he heads my way and we meet in the living room. “Hey Caleb, what’s going on?”

“Sorry Dahlia, didn’t know you were having a party. I tried calling you and River, but neither one of you answered.”

“Oh, sorry. I’m throwing a surprise party for River. It’s his birthday.”

“Again, sorry to intrude, but I got a call that your security system is down, and I thought I should check it out.”

“I have no idea what’s going on with the security system but it seems to be causing you a lot of trouble.”

“Dahlia, it’s no trouble. It’s my job.”

“I know, but it’s still nice of you.”

He drops his head. “I won’t be long, I just want to check the main fuse box.”

“Okay, you know where it is.”

He heads downstairs and I’m wondering if I should talk to him about Ben or ask him to stay for a drink, when the front door swings open, and Ben walks into my house. He closes the door behind him and I stand there, staring. When he starts to walk into the living room I hastily move to stop him. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

His eyes flash down my body and back up as he fingers the flower of my pearl necklace. “You added a necklace to your collection? It’s beautiful, just like you.”

I lean back and he drops his hand. “Ben, what are you doing? You shouldn’t be here.”

“Dahl, I’m with Caleb. We were out together when he got the call about the house. I was waiting in the car for him and I heard a lot of noise so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

I stare at him in disbelief. “Really, Ben. Well, you’ve made sure now and everything is fine. So you can leave.”

“Since I’m here, I want to talk to you. I’ve been trying to talk to you. Why won’t you answer my calls?”

Holding back my agitation, I try to keep calm. “Ben, this is not the time or the place.”

“Dahl, you won’t give me the time or the place.”

“Because I have nothing else to say to you.”

His eyes seem to have been taking in the room since he arrived and when they settle on the large black-and-white picture of River and his band hung over the sofa he asks, “Why him? Is it because he’s famous?”

I narrow my eyes and look at him. “Fuck you, Ben Covington. Get the hell out of my house!”

Ignoring me, he motions around the house. “I need to know. Did you know him while we were together?”

“Dahlia, you wanted me,” Bell says as she walks up and stands next to me.

Her eyes flash to Ben and she gasps. I turn to look at her—she stares wide-eyed with her hand over her mouth. All the color seems to have drained from her face.

“Bell, are you okay?” I ask.

“S’belle?” I hear Ben question as he, too, stares and I instantly make the connection. Their reaction to each other and their body language tells me I’m right. My head starts to spin as a vivid memory flashes through my mind—

The e-mail. The words reply to: S’belle, later tonight, green eyes, touch, copper, and your apartment in an e-mail on Ben’s computer. Ben hitting the delete button before I could read the whole message. Knowing he was making plans with another girl—plans that weren’t platonic. Our breakup and path to reconciliation. River’s sister is S’belle. Ben and Bell!

The bile rises up my throat as I run to the bedroom and open the door. I slam it and flatten my back against it. Another memory flashes before my eyes—River taking the broken frame from my hand, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the picture for a long while. Recognition flashed across his face, maybe even pain, when he asked, “Is this him?” Me turning to face him when I hoarsely answered, “Yes. That’s Ben.” River knew about his sister and Ben. This whole time, he’s been keeping that from me.

At the sliding glass doors, I open the curtains and look for him on the pool deck. He’s sitting there with Ellie sitting next to him, laughing and drawing something with her finger on the table. Then I see her lift his hand and do the same. I want to yell for him to come up here now, but I’m not going to make a scene. So I stand frozen, anticipating the words I’ll hear next—the words I don’t want to hear from him because that will only confirm he knew.

My bedroom door opens and I immediately turn. Ben’s standing there, his face pale. He looks around and then walks into the room, closing the door behind him.

“Dahl, how do you know her?”

Confusion sets in as I try to figure out what he’s asking me, but then I realize he has no idea who she is. “Bell is River’s sister.”

“Bell?”

“S’belle,” I hiss.

“His sister?” He, too, looks like he might be sick.

He walks across the room and stands in front of me.

“Who you had your inappropriate relationship with in college is irrelevant right now, Ben. You need to leave.”

With a huge sigh he reaches and takes my chin in his hand, saying, “Dahl, what do I have to do so you’ll forgive me? Talk to me. Tell me.”

The adrenaline starts to pump through my body as I realize all he has brought me is more pain. I step back but he follows and I can’t help but scream, “Get the fuck out, Ben—now!”

He reaches for me again and this time tries to pull me to him. Just then the door abruptly opens and bounces off the wall. River stands there—his eyes narrowed on me. “Am I interrupting?”

He walks closer and his eyes flash to Ben. My heart racing, I take a step back. I am seething mad and he’s not going to turn this around on me. Pointing outside I say, “Funny, I thought I might be interrupting you. I’m so glad you managed to pull yourself away.”

He ignores me. “What the fuck are you doing in my room with my girl?”

“Your girl? I’ve already told you a substitute is not a replacement—they’re never as good as the real thing.”

My head snaps to Ben and I warn him, “You need to leave. Get out now.”

But he ignores me and continues his taunting. “Oh, and another thing—she may be in your bed now, but she was fucking me in my bed for a hell of a lot longer and I bet she’s still thinking about it.”

Willing down a wave of nausea I scream, “Shut up, Ben. Just shut the hell up!” I can’t believe he could be so crude.

River storms over to Ben. His eyes filled with rage, his jaw tight, and his fists clenched, he throws a hard punch at Ben’s head before Ben even sees it coming.

Ben stumbles back yelling, “Is the truth hard to take?”

“Fuck you! You don’t even know the truth,” River yells back.

Ben grabs River’s leg before scrambling to his feet and slamming a punch into his stomach. Still, Ben doesn’t let up. “Dahl, come on. Tell him what we were like.”

I’m motionless, suspended in time, watching like I’m somewhere else.

A fury like I’ve never seen crosses River’s face as he lunges for Ben, grabbing his arm and jerking it behind his back. He slams Ben to the ground, shoving his knee against his spine, wrenching his arm back. River gives it another jerk and Ben grunts, “Son of a bitch.”

“River, stop!” I scream.

Snatching his other wrist, he pulls it behind Ben’s back and seethes, “By the time I’m done with you, you’re gonna wish you would’ve stayed dead.”

I can hear how high and thin my voice is when I scream out again, “Stop it!” He doesn’t seem to hear me. He’s lost in the fight. His normally gleaming green eyes are shadowed in a way I’ve never seen before.

When Ben winces in pain, River leans down and whispers something in his ear, but doesn’t let him go. My hand flies to my mouth and my tears are running down my cheeks—I just want this to end.

In a blur of movement, Xander pulls River off Ben and Caleb drags Ben from the room as he yells, “This isn’t over!”

River frees himself from Xander’s hold and heads for the door, but Xander blocks him and shoves him to the bed. “That’s enough, River! Enough! You need to get a handle on this.”

Xander attempts to calm River and I’m trying to contain my own rage. “Xander, can you tell everyone the party is over?”

He nods and then drops down to his brother’s eye level. “River, look at me. You need to do what we talked about. Do you hear me?”

River looked up at him for a moment before dropping his head back down again. Xander pats him on the shoulder and says, “Now.” Then his eyes land on me. “I’ll clear everyone out so you two can talk.”

He closes the door behind him and River and I are left alone. I stand there for a minute thinking about what Xander’s just said to River and I know that it’s about their sister. Relief and fear burst through me—I’m relieved Ben is gone and fearful of what we are about to discuss.

“I saw the two of you,” he says as he rises to his feet and heads for the door.

I hastily navigate around the bed and dash there first. Standing in front of it, literally blocking his way, I force him to stop right in front of me.

“Well, I don’t know what you think you saw, but whatever it is, I can tell you, you’re wrong.”

He takes a step back, eyeing me, and then turns to walk toward the glass doors. “Why was he in here, Dahlia? In our bedroom?”

Once again, I dash in front of him. I am not going to allow any space between us and he’s not going to walk out of this room until we talk. “Why was she holding your hand?”

“Come on, Dahl, you really want to talk about Ellie right now?”

I grab his face knowing exactly what he’s inferring by calling me by that nickname. “River, listen to me. I’m going to say this again—I am not interested in being with Ben. I am not in love with Ben. Whatever you think you saw, he wanted to talk to me about your sister. And I know you know what I mean. I just heard Xander tell you to tell me.”

I stare into his green eyes, searching for any sign of confusion. But when his mouth drops open and he says nothing, I know for sure that he knew about them. From there, my irritation only builds. I jab my finger into his chest. “Yeah, like I thought, you knew the whole time and again you didn’t tell me something.”

He tries to reach for my hands, but I jerk away. I stare at him, my irritation flaring as I cross to the other side of the room. My rage mixes with hurt as I’m once again left wondering if I can trust him.

Grabbing my wrist, he swings me around to face him. “Stop walking away from me. Let me explain.”

Shaking my head, I try to free myself of his grasp. “Oh now you want to talk. It was okay, though, when you were the one walking away!”

His lip turns into a sneer. “That was different.”

I laugh a little, now completely enraged. “The only thing different is that I was doing nothing wrong,” my voice cracks.

His eyes close, and when he reopens them all I see is pain. He leans closer to me, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I was only protecting you. Because I wanted to save you from a heartbreak you didn’t need to experience.”

“River, I already knew that he came close to cheating on me. You were saving yourself from having to deal with how Bell and I would take it. I saw her face tonight when she looked at him. She clearly didn’t know, either.”

He sighs deeply. “I don’t care how any of this affects me, you know that. I didn’t want to dredge up sad memories for you or for my sister.”

I stare at him and his grip loosens and moves to catch my hand.

I yank my hand from his. “River!”

“What?” He looks genuinely sympathetic.

I move back, frowning, and cross my arms over my chest. “You don’t have to pity me. That part of my life was long ago. Ben can’t hurt me anymore. It really doesn’t matter to me who the girl was. But what does matter is that I have to be able to trust you.”

He shoots me a look I don’t understand. “You can trust me, we’ve been through that.”

“You’re not making it easy on me. Is there anything else I should know about?”

River’s stare is unwavering as he looks deep into my eyes, but says nothing.

I need to escape this small space. I feel like I’m being torn apart from indecision—believe, don’t believe, trust, don’t trust. My stomach twists over his silence. Not knowing if he doesn’t want to talk about his sister anymore or if maybe he’s too drunk to talk at all, I head toward the door. But this time he gets there first. He cups the back of my neck and pulls me to him. My mouth is already open to say something, to scream at him to just talk to me, but he stops me with his lips. He flattens his mouth hard against mine, and for a few moments I allow it—letting the physical sensations block everything else out.

But then I stop kissing him and step back. We stand there so close, but so far apart. When his gaze flickers down my body, I can feel the heat between us. He grabs my elbows and steps into me. Again I don’t resist. But this time, as soon as his mouth is on mine, I know where this is leading.

I whisper, “Please don’t. You need to talk to me.”

He licks his lips and swallows. “No, what I need is you,” he says as he drops his hands to my waist and yanks me to him.

I put both of my hands on his chest and shove him back. “Stop it!”

His face twists and his eyes narrow. He lets out a sound of frustration and the smell of alcohol is evident on his breath. He leans into me and through clenched teeth he whispers, “Why? Are you thinking about him?”

Understanding he’s drunk and doesn’t mean what he’s saying I calmly respond, “No River, I’m not. You know that. It’s just we can’t avoid talking by using sex this time. You need to help me trust you—talk to me, tell me what’s eating away at you. Is there something else you’re not telling me?”

He shakes his head in disbelief, his anger flaring. “There’s nothing we need to discuss right now.”

“I think there is.”

“Fine, Dahlia, have it your way,” he mutters, then he opens the door and slams it behind him.

My heart is in my throat and I can’t catch my breath. Looking down, I see the red ribbon lying on the floor and suddenly I can’t feel my own legs. I fall against the door, using it for support to help me stand. I suck in a breath and try to will away the tears. But when I hear the smashing of glass from the kitchen, I fall to the ground and cover my ears as the tears finally fall and my sobs escape me.