Trouble on the Heath: A Comedy of Russian Gangsters, Town Planners and a Dog Called Nigel

Chapter Fourteen

Trevor Williams was heart-broken after he heard he’d won the lottery. Not even Cynthia could cheer him up.

“God has really got it in for me!” he kept saying angrily, stabbing at his lobster.

“But it’s wonderful that you won!” said Cynthia, laying her hand on his arm.

“One digit! I ask you!” He glowered at Cynthia’s hand. “And I’d have scooped the lot! I can’t bear it!”

“But you won £20,000,” said Cynthia. “That’s not bad.”

“One digit!” repeated Trevor. “£3 million!”

There was a silence for some moments. Then Cynthia said, “You could buy a nice car with £20,000.”

“Huh!” replied Trevor. “I could buy a lot of nice cars for £3 million.”

Cynthia gave up after that, and they ate their meal in a gloomy silence, punctuated by Trevor’s groans and occasional murmurs of “three million” under his breath.

When he asked for the bill, the waiter returned with the manager. The two of them approached the table full of smiles. The manager bowed.

“Sir and madam, your meal this evening is on the house,” he said, hardly able to contain his pleasure in giving this information.

“What?” Trevor’s eyes narrowed. There was something fishy about this.

“You are our 10,000th customer, and we wish you to celebrate the fact with us! Congratulations!”

The waiter produced a bottle of champagne.

“On the house, sir and madam, of course!” said the manager, as the waiter let the cork hit the ceiling and everybody in the restaurant applauded.

As they sipped their champagne, Trevor was furious. Cynthia tried to comfort him, but it was no use. They had become the talk of the other tables.

“I hate being used for publicity like this!” he said. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

As he got up he pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose noisily. Just to show that he accepted the free meal and the champagne under protest. As he hurried off, a scrap of paper fell out of his pocket.

Cynthia picked it up. It was torn from an exercise book and it had some words written on it in capital letters. Cynthia read ‘DROP THE OPPOSITION OR ELSE’.

When Trevor returned, Cynthia asked him, “Who on earth sent you this?”

The way Trevor stared at the scrap of paper and then tried to grab it out of her hand, told Cynthia all she needed to know. He hadn’t received it, he had written it.