Upon A Pale Horse

TWENTY-SEVEN Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Tuesday night Monica came over after work, but Jeffrey seemed preoccupied — ostensibly with preparations for his trip the following day. He nearly confronted her a dozen times during their evening together, and it was only through force of will and the awareness that he was playing with his life that he controlled the impulse — a dangerous and foolhardy one, he knew.

Their lovemaking that night was intense, yet for him, lacking, although Monica seemed as passionate as ever. Once she’d drifted off to sleep, helped on her way by a bottle of inky Barolo and a post-dinner Baileys, he slipped soundlessly out of bed to the office, where he watched clips of one of his favorite comedians on YouTube until he was finally drowsy several hours later.

The following morning, he was up earlier than usual and washed some dry, burned toast down with a cup of scalding black coffee before going for a run, Monica still slumbering under the covers as the day’s first light glowed behind the blinds. The soles of his Nikes thumped against the moist sidewalk as he developed a rhythm that returned like a chastened friend, abandoned since he’d moved to Washington. Other joggers moved along the same route, a loop that ran for eight blocks square and would take him forty-five minutes if he maintained his pace. His thoughts had been racing distractingly since his eyes opened, and he welcomed the inner calm that came from the exertion, worrying about nothing as he willed his legs to greater speed.

When he got back, Monica was up puttering in the kitchen, wearing one of his dress shirts and nothing else, and she glanced at him as he moved past her and into the bedroom.

“You’re sweaty. I didn’t know you ran,” she commented, whipping some eggs in a bowl with a fork.

“Obviously I don’t do it very often. Or ride, anymore, either. You can see that my bike hasn’t budged since the movers stuck it in the spare bedroom.”

“Feeling guilty about not exercising lately? I mean, not in a structured, outdoorsy kind of way?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m going to be cooped up in the office all day and then stuck on a flight for eight hours, so it was either now or never. Doubt I’ll have motivation, or time, to do much in Switzerland,” he said from the bedroom doorway. He peeled off his soaking T-shirt and sweat pants and pitched them into the laundry bin. “Damn, I’m already running later than I’d hoped. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

“Don’t worry. I’m just going to cook up some eggs and I’ll be out of here in ten minutes. Then it will be all yours. You want some? Hope so — I’m making more than I can eat.”

“That would be awesome, Monica. I’ll be finished showering right about the time they’re ready.”

He emerged from the bathroom in a heavy blue terrycloth robe with its sash cinched around his waist and took his usual seat at the dining room table. The eggs were delicious, lightly seasoned with salt and a dash of chili powder, and he devoured them in thirty seconds.

“You eat like a lumberjack, big boy.”

“Guy’s gotta keep up his strength, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

“Besides lunch and dinner, you mean,” she said, finishing her eggs after him and carrying their plates into the kitchen. “So what do you have planned for the day?”

“I was thinking I’ll work for about six hours, then take a cab to Dulles.”

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

He resisted the temptation to ask her whether she was thinking of taking her Mercedes, and instead shook his head as he stood.

“No. Traffic will suck, and I may be able to duck out early and get a head start. I’m going to leave my car at the office and take a cab. But thanks for offering.” He hoped he didn’t sound distant, although that was how it came out — overly formal. She didn’t seem to notice.

“Can I offer you anything else before I leave? Maybe one last round of adult entertainment?” she asked, oozing sex appeal in his oxford button up. “I’m not going to see you for three whole nights. And it gets lonely in the big city…”

He made a show of checking his watch.

“You know there’s nothing I’d rather do, but I’m really running late now, honey.”

She shrugged and gave him a pout that melted his heart. “Suit yourself. Can’t say I didn’t offer.”

They dressed, and he walked her to the door, her hair still damp from the shower she’d taken while he was out. She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a long, deep kiss, her full lips savoring his in a manner he never grew tired of. When they parted he thought her eyes were moist, but it could have been a trick of the light.

“Safe travels, Jeff. Come back soon.”

“To you. You can count on it.”

They kissed again, and then she turned and let herself out as Jeffrey watched her go.

He followed her out the door twenty minutes after her departure, his garment bag on his shoulder, a conservative blue suit and red tie his uniform of the day. He let the car warm up for a few minutes while he checked his messages, and seeing nothing pressing, he put the transmission into gear and nosed into traffic, already getting heavy as thousands of workers spilled onto the city streets and jockeyed for advantage in the surging stream, another day in the world’s most important capital convincingly underway.

Work was mercifully light, as was the commute heading out of town that afternoon, and the taxi delivered him to the airport almost three hours before his flight. After passing through security and suffering the intrusive search procedures, he made his way to his departure gate, and was relieved to find it near a lounge that boasted hot dogs and cocktails like Mom used to make.

Three beers later he was sitting in the jet awaiting takeoff, his head light from the alcohol, two ill-advised foot longs and too little sleep roiling in his stomach. Shortly after the plane launched into the sky and headed east he was asleep, dreaming about a bank vault in a country he’d never visited and the terrible secrets it might contain.