Upping The Ante

63. Words with the White Wizard

I always expect to get knocked out when evolving, but this feels slightly different. I’m not being pulled down into slumber, but quite literally being pulled downward!

My consciousness is being yoinked into my core, dragged away from its home in my ant body.

What the heck is going on here! I was just about to evolve and enjoy my rise to triumph. What the heck is this? Is this some punishment for hitting Tiny too much? He deserved it, I swear!

Did I kill too many humans? Is their god going to enact punishment on me for reaping juicy experience from them? Those were bad people! Probably!

To tell you the truth, I don’t know!

Despite my protestations and desperate flailing with my mind, I have absolutely no control. Like a water balloon held in an iron fist, my mind can only slosh about as it’s inexorably pulled into the core, and then down, further down. A tiny thread-like tendril has extended from the dark and connected to my core, and it’s through this thread that I am dragged.

Like Alice tumbling down a rabbit hole, I can sense myself sinking through a winding path, twisting here, turning there and always spiralling further downward, to the very centre.

Of what, I have no freakin’ clue. As a disembodied mind, I don’t really have access to a whole lot of sensory options. None, is the precise number, now that I think about it. I think Vibrant would die of sheer boredom in this place. Not to mention Tiny, he’d have nothing to fight! Or eat…

Crinis would probably be quite fine though. She’d miss the sensation of touch, obviously, but she’s used to going without the others…

I continue babbling to myself on the surface level of my mind, mainly to distract from the sheer existential terror.

I’m freaking out over here!

It isn’t often your consciousness is quite literally dragged out of your body and pulled to a new location while you spin, completely blind and unaware of the process going on. How often could that possibly happen to a person? It’s only the second time I’ve ever experienced this sensation!

The realisation stills my pounding… mental… heart. For a single second.

Actually, I did go through this whole thing once before, didn’t I?

I vaguely remember what it felt like when I… died, I guess? My mind slipped away from my body, pulled out and dragged through who knows what to who knows where. The hunger and sensation from my old body just faded away, then everything went white and then…

[Then you heard a voice which welcomed you to your new world.]

Yeah! Then Gandalf spoke to me and everything got started on this crazy antventure…

Gandalf!

[Is that what you call me, young one?]

Well… yeah? That is certainly the voice of Gandalf the Grey, and I’ll say the same even if you don’t let me pass.

[Pass where?]

Doesn’t matter… I suppose. What’s going on here exactly, O Bearded One? Could I perhaps be returned to my body, please?

[Your core has reached the level of density required for me to reach out to you in this way, young Anthony. It is kind of… traditional, that I speak to those like you personally at this point of their new journey.]

Uh… don’t you talk to me almost constantly? Every time I Level up and so on?

[Those communications are a little more subconscious. For me to reach out to you with my active mind requires a little more… sturdiness, on your part. You have reached this point very quickly, I must say. You must have adapted to the monstrous life well.]

That sturdiness comment is a little disturbing. I reached this point quickly? Compared to what? The other people like me? Just how many people do you drag in here, Gandalf? Are you in the habit of abducting people?

…Can I go away now? Please?

[I reach out to grasp an existence like yours and bring them into this world periodically. It helps… various things.]

What do you mean ‘like me’? I don’t recall there being anything particularly special about me.

[Oh, you don’t? I have found it takes a certain resilience of mind, a certain insanity to allow a sentient creature such as a human to survive the transition to life in the Dungeon of this world without… breaking. I try to find souls such as yours, souls that have lived a life of deprivation and suffering. I find they are better equipped to handle the madness, slaughter and solitary life of a monster.]

But… I don’t particularly see myself as having suffered a horrible life or anything. It was a bit tough sometimes, but everybody hurts, you know?

There is a slight stunned silence between the two of us. The image of his perplexed expression is way too easy to imagine.

[You starved to death at age fifteen…]

Well… yeah, I know that… but I always thought that was a bit more common than people gave it credit, you know? People starve to death all over the world, many of them younger than me. That’s not so bad.

I’m not sure Gandalf was quite expecting the response he’s getting.

[Weren’t you also abandoned by your parents?]

I wouldn’t necessarily say abandoned… They did disappear one morning with all of their clothes and any belongings that were worth anything. Not to mention my relatives immediately stopped answering my calls, leaving me stranded with debtors on the door… But hey… could have been worse.

[Could have been worse!]

Sure! Could’ve had my leg cut off.

[Didn’t that happen too?]

Well… a bit.

[A BIT?]

Fine! Sheesh! So what? I still had my pets at least.

[Ah yes, your pet colony of ants. You fed them everything you had, didn’t you? Until you starved to death.]

Can we stop talking about the death and such? I’m more of a forward-looking person…

[Would you describe it as sane for a person to feed a colony of ants above themselves to the point they died because of it?]

Not everyone has my sense of responsibility and devotion, Gandalf. What can I say?

[That is the reason I reincarnated you as an ant, by the way. I thought it would be a… comforting form for you.]

It really was pet ants equals ant rebirth? Dammit!

[You don’t like it?]

Well, I mean… it worked out ok in the end. But I have to say, Gandalf, it was quite a shaky start!

[Yes, many don’t make it past the first few days, despite my best efforts.]

What happens to those who… don’t make it?

[Death, of course.]

Yikes!

[I hope you can continue to succeed, young Anthony. Who knows, perhaps I’ll see you in person one day.]

In person? Like… you’re not a spirit or something? Where the heck are you?

[If you go down far enough, you should find me.]

I just might, you know! Not in a million years.

[You may not have a choice… Good luck!]

With that, my mind is again manipulated by a power beyond its control, flung out of wherever the heck I’ve been, and up, up, up through the tendril and slammed back into my core.

Whoa!

From my core, my consciousness settles inside its rightful house. Before I can even begin to process the bizarre conversation with He of the Floppy Hat, I sink into sleep as the evolution process properly takes hold of me.

Dangi…