Upping The Ante

66. The Pain Inside

At this moment, with my head filled with the glorious victory of the new super-ant race, I notice something a little odd.

There is a dull ache coming right from my core.

What the heck is with that? What on Pangera makes your core hurt? Do I have core-itis? Flu of the core? Seasonal core-swelling?

I’m unusually disturbed by this inexplicable pain. Once formed, the core is attached to a monster’s life force. If anything were to happen to it, I’m not sure how long I’d last.

Focusing intently on this feeling, I try to analyse it. When I carefully sense the area around my core the issue becomes clearer. There’s more going on than meets the eye. Almost like a lung that is slowly leaking, as time passes my core is slowly draining energy out into the air. Almost as if when my body tries to draw in Mana, there isn’t anything there, and then I ‘exhale’ Mana out.

I’m losing Mana!

As time passed, the loss became more noticeable until I was struck with this pain. It’s literally my core gasping for air. I need Mana! Whilst the pain isn’t completely debilitating now, it’s only going to get worse the more energy I leak.

This must have been what was afflicting the queen! Weakened and in pain by the lack of Mana, she’d been bleeding her life out into the air until I finally noticed something was wrong.

I can’t help but get a little emotional.

Dammit, Mother! Just how self-sacrificing can you be? Just because I’d said the colony would be safe on the surface, you were willing to bleed Mana from your core until you died? Why is it that the best mother I’ve ever had is a giant ant?

Now I feel like garbage. Not only because my core is increasingly pained but also because of the guilt of unknowingly causing such suffering to a dear parent. I’ll make it up to you, Queen! You’ll be the mother of the most successful ant colony in the history of the entire… wherever we are!

I’m not really sure if this is the same universe as the one I was born in, come to think of it. Something to ask Gandalf if I ever see him again.

Well, now that I know of this problem, what am I going to do about it? The fact it took a few days for the problem to grow this severe means I’m not completely unable to operate on the surface, I’ll just have to take frequent trips underground. Actually, is this the reason Tiny has relocated himself underground? It’s possible his core has also advanced to the point where he can’t sustain himself on the surface level of Mana.

Sighing to myself, I grasp my bag of unworked on cores in my mandibles and make my way down to where Tiny is currently sitting munching on some low-Level plants that leapt out of the walls and into his waiting hands.

As soon as I descend past the surface Level and into the Dungeon proper, there’s a sense of relief. As the light emitted by the Mana veins washes over me and my feet begin drinking energy in a steady flow, the pain in my core begins to ease. I’m getting a little more energetic and alert as I stop leeching precious energy the air.

Feels good!

This incident does really hit home at something that Gandalf said. When he told me I might join him one day, he suggested I might not have a choice but to go farther down. Is this what he meant? Every time I condense my core and evolve, I’ll have a higher requirement for Mana, forcing me to live deeper and deeper in the Dungeon? I guess this explains why the most powerful monsters live closer to the centre…

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Obviously, evolving is the best thing in the universe and I should keep doing it, but then aren’t I basically imprisoning myself?

All right, it’s complicated, think about it later!

This is my policy and I’ll stick to it!

Tiny seems quite relaxed down here, his silvery hair taking on a distinct blue shade in the reflected light of the Dungeon. I pass him the bag and take some time to hollow out a chamber for us to use, shoving the loose soil farther down the tunnel. Once that’s done, I ask Tiny to keep watch for me and rest a little before resuming my core grinding. I don’t want to rush over and start working on the queen’s core straight away with Core Surgery at Level one. If I can push a few more Levels out of it, then I’ll be more confident at being able to achieve my goal.

Back to grinding!

It takes a few more naps and one hundred cores before I finally achieve Core Surgery Level 3. By this time, my brain feels like a puddle of sludge and my other brains aren’t much better. Despite my improved mental power, grinding through so many cores in such a short time has pushed me right up to the wall. This kind of speed would have been completely impossible before my evolution so there is that to celebrate. I have to say though, training this line of skills is a pain in the ass!

Who has one hundred cores lying around, Gandalf?

All in all, I’ve nearly gone through two hundred cores over the last few days, perfecting my skill at making nuanced changes to monsters and grinding that precious XP to get to this point. How long would it have taken me to amass all of these cores if I hadn’t been able to rob the Lirian vault?

Not wanting to waste the opportunity, I flick cores at Tiny until he’s full up. He’s at the same Level of evolution as I am, so it a while for him to top out, then I do the same for myself.

[Your core has reached max capacity for your Level of evolution.]

Hue, hue, hue, hue.

So soon after evolving and my core is already maxed out. It feels so good! All we need now is the special cores. There’s no way I’m going to put up with that pain for an extended time again. I can whip those up right when we’re ready to evolve.

Although… if you give it enough time, would you get used to it enough that you could absorb a second one…

As if reading my thoughts, Tiny raises his head and glares at me with his dark red eyes.

Never mind!

I don’t think I’ll be able to raise the skill any higher for the short-term. I take a good nap, getting Tiny to defend me from the spawning monsters and making sure he feeds the Biomass to Crinis.

When I wake up, I’m fully refreshed. Time to head over to the queen and try this out.

Zipping up the tunnel, full of beans, I push my way through the crowd of workers and come face to face with Mother once again. The giant ant is quite placid, perhaps enjoying this interlude of relative quiet.

“Hello, Mother, how are things?” I inquire.

She reaches forward to tap on my head. “I am well, little one. The colony has been safe here, you have done well.”

Awwww, shucks! I’m not used to this sort of praise. If I could blush, I would!

“Thanks, Mother,” I beam. “I’m glad I could help!”

“Of course, child. We should always seek to better our family,” she says warmly.

“Exactly! That’s why I’m here!” I say enthusiastically. “I’ve gained a skill that will allow me to make all of the ants in the colony stronger!”

The queen’s antennae whip about a little in surprise. “Really, child? That’s wonderful,” she says.

Now for the tricky bit. I hesitate a little at this point. “Thing is, it’ll only work on the ants who haven’t been born yet, I can’t do anything to the family members who are already alive.”

The queen seems confused. “What are you planning on doing?”

I really have no idea how the monstrous queen is going to react to the idea of me modifying her core. She is quite intelligent for a monster, but her own logic and mine are quite different, as well as our experiences. This queen is still not even one year old. She can’t compare to my own nearly sixteen years of life.

“This is what I can do.” I decide to explain it all carefully. “I can perform the skill on your core, while you rest here. Then I can make the young that will be born in the future more powerful, smarter. I’m hoping that by doing this, more of them will be able to survive and grow until they can evolve, making the colony stronger.”

The queen wibbles her antennae around for a while as she digests this news. “You think you will be able to keep more children alive?”

“Yes. Their species won’t change and they will still be our family, but they’ll be better equipped to survive and live a long life. What do you think?”

This is the magic moment. I’ve worked so hard to try and make this project a reality, but if the queen says no, I won’t question it. The project will die right here. Perhaps it’s silly to take the feelings of a monster into account, but this giant ant is no ordinary monster to me. This is the best parent and family member I’ve ever had.

My main motivation for this project isn’t even for ant world domination. I just don’t want to see my siblings throwing their lives away anymore. I want them to be smart enough to retreat when needed and be able to take care of themselves.

I look the queen straight in the eye and await her judgement. I tried to be as honest as I could and explain things in a way she could understand. My heart is pounding as she gazes calmly back at me.

Eventually, she speaks.

“Of course, child. It is the responsibility of every member of our family to strengthen the whole. If you can achieve this, we will all benefit. That is what being part of the colony is about. You can start when you are ready.”

I should never have doubted the queen’s capacity to risk herself for her children.