Widows

Chapter 7

Linda arrived on the dot of ten at the Sanctuary health spa in Floral Street and instantly realized that her very best outfit, which she’d ironed specially after getting Dolly’s phone call, didn’t even come close to the fabulous clothes the other women were wearing as they floated by. They’ve probably never done a day’s work in their lives, she thought and was just about to walk out when the snooty receptionist asked if she was the guest of a member. When Linda mentioned the name of Mrs. Rawlins, she was welcomed with open arms.

On the obligatory guided tour, Linda didn’t know where to look. She’d never seen so many half-naked women before and she didn’t like it. The changing rooms were the worst: everything came off in there and people just strolled about as though they were at home. In fact, Linda didn’t even walk around naked at home in case the window cleaner saw in through her nets or the bailiffs knocked.

The prices in the food bar were extortionate and she thought about nipping out to the cafe opposite for a bacon sarnie and coffee, but the assistant told her that all she had to do was mention the name of Mrs. Rawlins and everything would go on her tab. Linda shrugged. She wasn’t used to getting something for nothing.

‘Go on, then,’ she said, pointing at a sandwich. Cheese would have to do.

After her sandwich, Linda was led back to the dreaded changing rooms, where she was left to fend for herself. She stood there, fully clothed, feeling like a right idiot, trying not to look at all the bums and tits brazenly walking by. She couldn’t cope for long and, head down, she walked swiftly out.

As she wandered round the gym, Linda glanced over at the exercise bikes. At first she hardly recognized Shirley, she looked so thin and worn out, but it was her all right. Linda started to wander over but was stopped by one of the attendants who informed her she was not allowed in the exercise area without the right clothes.

‘Oi!’ Linda shouted at Shirley. ‘Feelin’ peckish?’

Shirley turned and, recognizing Linda, stopped pedaling. Linda bustled past the attendant. The women didn’t hug as neither seemed certain that was the right thing to do, so Linda just said, ‘Been a while, ain’t it?’

They quickly established that they had last spoken at a cocktail party somewhere or other about two years previously. Linda’s memory of events was nowhere near as clear as Shirley’s due to the free bar, but Shirley filled in the blanks. The bottom line was that the cocktail party had been a Harry Rawlins do — and it was Dolly Rawlins who had called them both out of the blue and told them to meet her here.

Neither Shirley nor Linda knew exactly why they’d been summoned, but they both hoped it was to do with a handout of cash; they couldn’t even begin to imagine what else it might be.

‘Well, whatever the reason,’ said Shirley, ‘I’m going enjoy the spa facilities while I can. Come on!’ She headed for the changing rooms, shyly followed by Linda.

Shirley quickly changed into the fluffy white towel provided while Linda, trying and failing to look at ease, focused on her chipped nails, avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone. Shirley handed her a towel. ‘Relax — Dolly’s paying,’ she said kindly.

Linda had forgotten how beautiful Shirley was, how easily elegant and womanly. Even under a square towel, Shirley was a stunning shape, with her hair and make-up immaculate. Linda wasn’t going to let Shirley see how insecure she was so she attempted to make a joke.

‘I don’t want to drive the fellas wild by exposing my body, Shirl.’

‘It’s only women here.’

Defeated, Linda snatched the towel from Shirley. ‘Well, I’m not taking my bra and knickers off. They might get nicked!’ she snapped as she bundled into a cubicle for some privacy. When Linda bent to remove her shoes, she could see the now-seated Shirley looking in at her. ‘Bleedin’ ’ell!’ Linda’s dulcet tones echoed round the changing room. ‘What’s the point in having a soddin’ door that stops two foot off the ground!’ When Linda stood back up, she was head and shoulders above the top of the door and Shirley couldn’t stifle her giggles. ‘It’s like getting changed behind a postage stamp! I might as well be out there with you!’ Linda draped her arms over the top of the door and the two women howled with laughter for the first time since they’d heard the news.

By 11:30 a.m., Shirley was relaxing with her eyes closed in the bubbling, milky water of the jacuzzi and Linda was sitting on the edge, warming her feet and ankles. Her red satin bra was visible above the white towel and she’d dropped crumbs into the water from the cheese sarnie — but she didn’t care.

‘A good screw is as good as an hour’s exercise, did you know that? And it don’t cost you an annual membership fee, I can tell you,’ Linda laughed at herself as she stuffed the last of her sandwich into her mouth and washed her hands in the jacuzzi. ‘Course you can’t just lie there and take it, you’ve got to do some of the work.’

‘Don’t you ever talk about anything else?’

‘Well, I’m not getting any, am I? Me and Joe were at it pretty much every night.’ Linda’s mood dipped as she remembered her husband. ‘There’s a lot of adjusting to be done, I can tell you.’

Shirley opened one eye and glared at Linda. Was being celibate for a month really the biggest adjustment after your husband’s been blown sky high in a botched bank job?

By midday, Dolly still hadn’t appeared and Linda was getting tetchy. Shirley was now naked on the sunbeds and Linda was sitting by her side sipping coffee, eating a chocolate bar and moaning about the money.

‘If she’s a no-show, I’ve spent a bloody fortune on food I didn’t even want! I’m fatter now than when I arrived! Some bleedin’ health spa this is.’

‘She’ll be here. Keep your voice down.’ Shirley whispered. She’d forgotten quite how embarrassing Linda could be sometimes, even when she wasn’t drinking. In fact, Shirley had wondered if Linda had sneaked a drop of vodka into her coffee, because she was definitely getting louder. Twice she had fed bits of biscuit to the parrots that were in cages hanging from huge fern plants. The attendants had asked her not to, but she’d ignored them. She’d also been making loud remarks and laughing at some of the woman’s figures, calling them stick insects.

Linda hadn’t meant to embarrass Shirley, but could see that she had. The truth was that Linda felt totally out of her depth in these elegant surroundings. She looked around: these women were all self-indulgent, toffee-nosed, snooty, skinny bitches with more money than they knew what to do with. She was about to leave when she saw Dolly walking casually toward them wearing a matching bath towel and turban. Dolly nodded her acknowledgment to a couple of attendants as she moved up the steps toward the sun beds. ‘Gawd almighty,’ Linda snorted to Shirley and jabbed her with an elbow, ‘Lana Turner’s alive and well and living in London — take a look.’

‘Hello Linda, hello Shirley. I’m sorry I didn’t send flowers.’ Dolly said with a smile. Linda chewed her lip. Dolly’s patronizing voice and glib reference to their husbands’ funerals instantly annoyed her. It was hardly appropriate as an opening line. Linda would have preferred: ‘How are you?’ or, ‘Long time, no see,’ or, ‘So sorry that my husband got your husband killed!’

‘Let’s go into the sauna — we won’t be disturbed there.’ Dolly said and walked off ahead of them. Shirley and Linda followed Dolly in exactly the same obedient manner as Wolf — as though they instinctively knew that following would be more beneficial to them than not.

Linda had never been in a sauna before. She was sweating profusely and worried that the color would run from her red satin bra and show through the pristine white towel. Shirley, who was well used to saunas, immediately lay flat out along the top bench.

‘How are you both?’ Dolly asked, as though it was the most innocent question in the world. Nothing Dolly did was innocent anymore — and knowing what she did now, she wanted to find out a little more about these widows before sharing her latest thoughts. Dolly had also remembered the cocktail party from two years ago. It had been brimming with villains from the four corners of London. If she was totally honest, Dolly hadn’t remembered Shirley and didn’t recall her saying a word all night; Linda, on the other hand, had been entirely memorable.

‘Terry didn’t leave any cash for the mortgage, so if I don’t win Miss Paddington next week, I’m going to have to get a job.’ Shirley seemed genuinely distressed by this; but then she was a girl in her mid-twenties with no education and no real life skills. She’d always been looked after and had no clue how to survive on her own.

‘My heart bleeds,’ Linda mocked. ‘Try doing three jobs at once. That’s how many I had when Joe was inside the last time. And what the fuck is Miss Paddington?’

‘Oh, it’s a beauty contest!’ Shirley beamed as she explained. ‘Mum entered me for it. I was ever so mad at her at first, cos of just losing Terry. But there’s a thousand pounds prize money for first place and a holiday for two in Majorca. And the winner goes forward into the next Miss England competition!’

‘Then Miss World I suppose?’ Dolly said, her sarcastic tone unnoticed by Shirley.

‘That’s right.’ Shirley’s eyes glazed over as she dared to dream. ‘This could be the start of something big for me.’

Dolly turned her attention to Linda. ‘And how are you now?’

‘Well, you know Joe. Easy come, easy go. God, it’s bleedin’ hot in here.’

Dolly poured more water on the coals, adding to Linda’s discomfort. ‘Sit low down. It’s hotter if you stand or lie on the higher seats.’ The casual chat was over. Dolly moved on to why she had brought them both here.

‘You know the Fisher brothers have taken over Harry’s patch, don’t you?’

‘I heard the rumor,’ Linda panted as she began to overheat.

‘You had any trouble from them?’

‘Not from them, no.’ Linda confirmed. ‘The pigs did my place over though and they’re a real pain in the arse, keep hanging round the arcade. If they don’t leave off, I’ll get the sack.’

Dolly glanced at Shirley and raised her eyebrows.

‘They’ve done my place over four times,’ said Shirley. ‘I’ve not seen the Fishers though.’

Linda, for now, wasn’t remotely curious about Dolly’s questions. She was just focused on not melting, ‘God, it’s boiling in here. Is it meant to be good for you?’

Shirley wasn’t good with many topics, but she knew about spas. ‘Saunas are designed to sweat out all of the impurities from your body,’ she explained.

‘I can think of a better way—’ began Linda. Dolly held up her hand to interrupt.

‘Now look — I want to talk to you both. The Fisher brothers and the law are sniffing around for information.’

Linda tried one last joke. ‘And I thought they just fancied me...’ She saw a tiny, split-second smile appear on Dolly’s face before it disappeared again behind tight lips and unreadable eyes.

‘You know how Harry worked,’ Dolly continued. ‘He kept records of everyone who ever worked for him. He listed names: informants, gun merchants, bankers. Money in, cash paid out. All logged and dated. He used his books, his ledgers, as protection if anyone grassed or cheated on him.’

‘I dunno what you’re talking about, Doll,’ Linda said, feeling a bit dizzy from the heat.

‘Then listen!’ Dolly snapped. ‘And don’t call me that. I don’t like it. The Fisher Brothers want Harry’s ledgers.’

‘Why?’ Shirley asked.

‘I reckon it’s cos they’re named inside, along with their dodgy deals, and they’re scared that if the law gets their hands on ’em they’ll be in big trouble.’

‘Who’s got them?’ Considering that Shirley wasn’t the sharpest girl in the sauna, Dolly was impressed that she was the one asking the sensible questions.

‘I have,’ Dolly said calmly. As she began to explain, she spoke slowly and deliberately, emphasizing every word so the women couldn’t possibly misunderstand. Shirley visibly hung on Dolly’s every word, while Linda tipped her head back, closed her eyes and quietly listened, still panting a little in the unbearable heat. ‘Harry always said that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to be all right. He wanted his team to take over and look after all of us. One time he joked that if he died, as long as his team had the ledgers they could run the business without him. But Joe and Terry went with him, so it’s up to me now. I’m going to look after us. I’m going to look after all of us. Just like Harry wanted.’

Dolly, with hardly a bead of sweat on her, looked at Shirley’s attentive face. She wasn’t entirely sure if Shirley knew what on earth she was talking about, but at least she seemed to be listening. Then Linda sat bolt upright.

‘I can’t stand this heat much longer, I’m flaking out!’ she said.

Dolly glared at Linda, a look of seething fury on her face. Here she was, bearing her soul and Linda didn’t even have the decency to listen. She got up, gathered her towel around her and stormed out before she did something stupid, like shove Linda’s head in the sauna coals.

‘What did I do wrong?’ Linda asked Shirley. But the look on Shirley’s face was just as angry as Dolly’s.

‘Can’t you see she’s upset?’ Shirley said, ‘It must have been terrible for her, even worse than it was for us. Her old man was blown to bits and unrecognizable. They’d been married for twenty years.’

Linda jumped up from the bench. ‘An’ I ain’t upset, is that it? Just cos I don’t show it don’t mean I don’t feel things.’

Shirley tried to calm Linda, but she wasn’t having any of it, pacing and threatening to give Dolly a piece of her mind. She could easily have left the sauna and gone after Dolly, so Shirley thought it was all bravado — and then suddenly Linda stopped shouting and crumpled up on the seat, hugging her knees and burying her face in her hands. She spoke in a muffled voice.

‘I had a shower this morning and got soap in me eyes. When I tried to grab a towel from the hook on the door I picked up his dressing gown instead. I could smell him, I could still smell his body, it was as if he was right there with me again, but it was just his dressing gown...’ Linda broke down and sobbed.

Shirley’s mouth twitched as she felt the tears welling up in her, and the next minute she too was sobbing, thinking of all the things in her flat that reminded her of Terry.

When Dolly re-entered she found the pair of them in floods of tears, hugging each other. Dolly tried to keep herself in check, but then she started crying too. This was the first time Dolly had cried properly in front of anyone, but she didn’t care. It seemed OK to share her grief with the other widows; she wasn’t embarrassed or worried that they’d see her as weak. She instinctively trusted them, and this was a momentous thing for Dolly to do with anyone. Trust. This is what she needed.

The tension eased and Dolly started the conversation again.

‘When I asked you here, I wasn’t sure how much I was going to say. But now I am. We’ve got two options regarding Harry’s ledgers—’

‘We?’ Linda interrupted. At Dolly’s slight smile she quieted down and began to listen.

‘Harry planned jobs months in advance, all written down, so if the Fishers got their hands on the ledgers, they could stay on top. Just like Harry did. So, option one is that we sell the ledgers to the Fishers and they would offer us a percentage of anything they make. Or option two, if we don’t sell—’ Dolly took a deep breath as Shirley and Linda leaned in closer — ‘we pull the job Harry had lined up.’

Linda started to laugh hysterically. Shirley sat with her mouth open.

‘You are joking?’ Linda stuttered.

‘If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. But I can’t do it on my own, so I’d have to sell and the Fishers are cheap double-crossing villains and will no doubt stitch me up.’

‘We can’t do an armed robbery, Dolly,’ Shirley whispered.

‘Yes, we can. We can finish what our men started. It was a good plan that would have worked if they hadn’t used explosives.’

Linda and Shirley glanced at each other, not knowing how to respond. Was Dolly mad? Had grief tipped her over the edge?

Dolly continued, slowly and calmly, ‘I could have sold the ledgers without telling you and avoided a three-way split, but I want to do right by you as Harry always did right by Joe and Terry. And this job is right.’ Dolly hit them with her killer blow. ‘If you don’t want to do it, I understand. I’ll do my best to get a couple of grand each for us off the Fishers. Then they can do the job Harry was planning and pocket the million quid.’

‘A million quid?’ Shirley shouted before slamming her hand over her mouth.

Linda, streetwise and sharp as a tack, knew that if something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. She was married to Joe long enough to realize that a million-quid job would be dangerous. She smiled and shook her head. ‘Do us a favor, Mrs. Rawlins. What do you take us for, a pair of mugs?’

‘Far from it,’ said Dolly. ‘We’re more similar than we are different, Linda. I know what you’re feeling inside right now and I know how to make that better. One last job. For our men, yes. But for us, more. This is your ticket out of struggling in shooting galleries for less than half you’re worth, and you—’ Dolly said, looking at Shirley — ‘you’d never have to work a day in your life.’

A panicked Shirley piped up, ‘I don’t want to leave London.’

‘You won’t have to, love. No one will know it’s us. I know exactly what to do.’

Dolly could see Shirley and Linda faltering, so pushed them a little closer to the decision she wanted. ‘You think your Terry and your Joe left you with nothing? They didn’t. They left you with me. Me, the ledgers and their next job. We were never just the little women sitting at home. We know what they did. We know why they did it. Harry led me to his ledgers for a reason — and that reason is us. He didn’t want us to be alone and he didn’t want us to struggle. We deserve this, ladies.’ Dolly stood up. ‘Just think about it. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think we could do it. And I’ll pay all your outgoings before the job in ready cash.’

Linda and Shirley sat open-mouthed and mute. Dolly could almost hear the cogs turning as they weighed up their options.

‘I’ll contact you again in two days,’ she said. ‘Don’t try and get in touch with me. I’m being watched by the old bill and they might have my phone tapped. They’re the reason I didn’t turn up here at the same time as you. I don’t want us seen together, so make sure you leave separately, and at least twenty minutes after me.’

And she was gone.

Linda and Shirley sat in exactly the same position, wearing exactly the same vacant facial expressions, for what seemed like ten minutes. Then Linda spoke.

‘She’s off her trolley.’

‘Should we tell someone?’

‘No one would believe us.’