You're nobody 'til somebody kills you

Sixty-two

Seated at the kitchen table, with coffee in front of both of us, I told her what had happened to Jerry and where he was.

“My God, Eddie, will he be all right?”

“I hope so.”

“You have to make sure the hospital bills get sent to me.”

“Dean is already takin’ care of it.”

“You’re here because of me, Eddie,” she said. “There’s no reason why Dean should pay the bill.”

“You’ll have to take that up with Dean yourself, Marilyn. Right now I’m not very concerned with hospital bills.”

“I know,” she said, reaching out and touching my arm, “you’re worried about both your friends now.”

“I’m worried about all of us, Marilyn,” I admitted.

“I’m sorry I came back, Eddie, but I had to. I couldn’t stay at Frank’s anymore.”

“We’ll have to find someplace else to stash you,” I said.

Her lovely shoulders slumped. “Maybe I should just get used to being watched all the time,” she said.

“Watched on the screen, yeah,” I said, “or on the red carpet, sure, but not every day, morning, noon and night. Nobody should be watched that much.”

“Eddie,” she said, “can I sleep with you tonight?”

The question shocked me.

“What?”

“Jerry’s in the hospital, so you’re out here alone and I’d be in the house alone,” she said. “I’m awfully lonely, Eddie.”

“Marilyn,” I said, “if we do that we might be lookin’ for trouble.”

“I’m not talking about sex, Eddie,” she said. “I just mean … sleep next to you. Just so I’m not so alone.”

She still had her hand on mine and she squeezed.

“We’ll see,” I said, squeezing her back. “When tonight comes, we’ll see.”

She released my hand and sat back in her chair, looking at me. “I’m glad I came back, Eddie,” she said. “Real glad.”

“When do you have to go to work?” I asked.

She brushed her hair out of her eyes.

“Probably should’ve been there by now. I’d have to check my schedule with my agent, but you know what? This is the longest I’ve been in blue jeans and my comfy sweatshirt in a long time. I like it. I think they agree with me.”

“It all agrees with you,” I said. “You look beautiful.”

She took her face in both hands. “I must look awful. My hair, my face.”

“You shine, Marilyn,” I said, “with or without makeup.”

She got a funny look on her face. “Did you see The Misfits?”

“No,” I said, “I never had the chance. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, only … what you just said, it was like a line Clark said to me in the movie. Not word, for word, but he said ‘Roslyn, you shine.’ …”

“I’m sorry if I brought back a bad memory.”

“There was a lot about that shoot that was bad,” she said, “but some of it was good. Arthur and me, we were like cats and dogs. That was near the end. But Clark … I loved him.”

“Were you in love with him?”

“Oh, no, I don’t mean like that,” she said. “He was so in love with Kay, and she was pregnant. No, I just … I just meant …”

“What?” I asked. “What were you gonna say?”

“Well, I always wanted Clark Gable to be my … my father,” she said, staring off into space. “Even before I met him. I had this fantasy that he’d adopt me and hug me, bounce me on his knee. That maybe I’d become part of a family.” She looked at me and focused again. “Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard?”

“No, it isn’t,” I said. “I mean, as long as you know he’s not your father, you know? And that it’s just … a fantasy.”

“Well, of course,” she said. “Of course I know that. I’m not crazy.”

“I know that, Marilyn,” I said. “The rest of the world is crazy, but not you and me.”

“No,” she said, reaching for my hand again, “not you and me.”

Speaking of crazy, I thought …

“You know, Marilyn, I’m part of a big Italian family. I have a brother, a sister, and about thirty-two cousins.”

“That must be wonderful.”

“Well, it’s not,” I said. “You see, my father is crazy, always has been, and my brother and sister grew up wanting his approval, so they’re crazy, too.”

“And your mother?”

“She wasn’t so much crazy as she was dominated by my old man,” I said. “Whenever he’d try to play with my head, or decide to give me a beating, she’d just watch and shrug helplessly.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yes, it is,” I said.

“But … you said she just died. Were you … upset?”

“I was,” I said, “but when I went back to Brooklyn for the funeral my father started right in again, and you know what? I got mad at my mother all over again. I was mad at myself for being sucked in again. I never should’ve gone to the funeral. But Jerry went with me, and saw what happened, and he understood. He’s more of a brother than my brother ever was.”

“Oh, Eddie.” Her eyes got moist and she threw her arms around me. “I guess it’s better to have good friends.”

“Definitely,” I said, “definitely better to have good friends.” I squeezed her tightly.

“I’ve got to go out,” I said, releasing her. “Fred Otash is waiting for me.”

“Is it about Danny? And Jerry?”

“Yes,” I said, “but I’ve got to put you someplace safe. I better call Fred.”

“Don’t do that, Eddie. Just leave me here,” she said, “in the guesthouse. With no car outside, nobody will know I’m here.”

“Marilyn, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Just for today,” she said. “You have things to do and I’ve surprised you. Go and do what you’ve got to do. I promise I’ll stay out of sight.”

I hesitated and she knew she had me.

“Go on, your private eye is waiting for you.”

“Okay,” I said, “but remember, stay inside. I think there’s some food in the fridge, thanks to Jerry.”

“Good,” she said, standing up. “I’ll have something to eat later.”

I stood and she took my arm, walked me to the back door.

“Be careful, Eddie,” she said. “I’ll be waiting here when you’re done.”

“Okay, now move away from the door.”

“You think someone’s watching us right now?”

“I hope not,” I said, “but just to be safe.”

“All right,” she said, backing away, her hands behind her back. “There, now you can leave. I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll try not to be away too long, but if somethin’ happens I’ll call.”

I went out the door, hoping I wasn’t making a big mistake. Otash and I were on the verge of finding Danny-at least, that’s what I was tellin’ myself-and she had surprised me by showing up. To change my plans now might mean never finding Danny.

I just wished she had stayed at Frank’s.

When I got to the car I opened the door to get in. “Close it back up, Eddie.”

I turned and saw two men. One was Harris, and the one holding a revolver had a livid scar almost dead center down his forehead.

“We thought it was time we got acquainted, Eddie,” the man with the scar said, “seein’ as how you’re bein’ such a pain in the ass.”