Monkey Business

layla’s calling

Thursday, April 29, 12:00 a.m.

I’m feeling a little ambivalent as I pack my belongings into my bag and roll myself out into the library elevator for the last time this year. On the one hand, I’m happy to be finished exams; on the other hand, I love the adrenaline rush they give me.

The elevator stops at the third floor. Kimmy walks in, blurry eyed, like she forgot to close her eyes underwater. She tenses when she sees me. We haven’t spoken since our argument.

“How are you?” she asks.

“Good. You? Ready for tomorrow?”

“Um, yeah.”

I flash back to images of her staring at the professor clue-lessly. “Are you sure?”

She hesitates again. “I’ll be fine.”

I know she’s lying, and suddenly I don’t want to be mad at her anymore. “Do you need some help?”

She shakes her head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Define Arbitrage.”

“It’s…um…” She shakes her head. “I’m fucked, huh? I’m totally lost.”

I giggle. “You’re not. Come over and we’ll review.”

“It’s already midnight. You like to get a good night’s sleep before an exam.”

“I’m plenty rested. We’re reviewing,” I tell her, feeling charged. The idea of helping her invigorates me the way nothing else has all week. “You get the snacks, I’ll make the tea, and we’ll meet in my room in five, okay?”

“I don’t deserve it,” she says.

What kind of talk is that? “Yes, you do.”

For the first time ever, Kimmy hugs me. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Kimmy gives me a thumbs-up as she leaves the exam room. She’s smiling. Even though I’m not finished yet, and I’m never going to finish, and I’m the only one still in the room, and I’m too exhausted to think straight, I can’t help but feel elated at her smile. She did it. We stayed up all night laughing and studying, and she did it. I’ve never felt more proud. Of someone else or, I realize, of myself.

After the exam, which I most definitely failed, I make a decision. I call Danielle Grand and ask her if she’s still looking for a summer associate.

“Wow, Layla, I would love to have you onboard, but I don’t have anything left in the summer budget.”

“I don’t need a salary for the summer, just the experience. I want to help and see if I like the work. I need to find work I can feel good about. My only request is that you don’t put me to work as a gofer. I want to do real work.”

She laughs. “You’re going to love it. And there’s plenty of real work for you to do that will utilize your skill set. Like managing the fund-raising, budget, taxes…the list is endless.”

I smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”