Mounting Fears

"HELLO?"

"Marty?"

"Yes."

"I hope I've called at an inconvenient time," she said, and there was acid in her voice.

"I'm having dinner with the Lees. What's wrong?"

"I had a meeting with my lawyers this afternoon. They want me to hire a forensic accountant."

"What's a forensic accountant?" Stanton asked, and he had an idea he wasn't going to like the answer.

"That's who a party in a divorce hires when she believes the other party is hiding money from her."

"Betty, have I ever lied to you?"

"I'm beginning to wonder about that."

"Why do you think I'm hiding money?"

"My lawyer says that, because you have family ties in Mexico, it's very likely that you have money hidden there."

"I've never lied to your lawyer, either. I gave him a complete and highly detailed financial statement, accompanied by all the backup documents, and nothing was omitted."

"How about that vintage Cadillac you were born in? I'm told that's worth a lot of money. California is a community-property state, you know."

"Yes, I know that, and that car is not community property. It's been in my family since a year before I was born."

"How about brokerage accounts?"

"You have my brokerage statements. And by the way, the market is way down at the moment, so we'll have to get current values when we sign the settlement."

"So you're going to try to screw me out of even more money?"

"Betty, you get half of my net worth. If you'd signed the settlement a month ago, when my net worth was higher, you'd have gotten more money. Even your lawyer advised you to sign then."

"I wasn't ready," she said.

"Then you'll have to accept the responsibility for that. I've done all I'm required to do, all I've agreed to do."

"Then why didn't you announce the divorce at the hearing, the way you said you were going to."

"The president's people decided it would be better to wait until I'm sworn in."

"And when is that?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"And, of course, I'm not invited to Washington for that."

"You told me you didn't want to come to Washington."

"So I can't change my mind?"

"It's too late now."

"So what about this money you've hidden? Where is it?"

"Betty, neither you nor your lawyer has the slightest reason to think I've hidden money. Why would I put money in a Mexican bank?"

"Because you could."

"Betty, I can only give you my word that I have no money that isn't included in that financial statement. If you aren't willing to accept that, then there's nothing more I can do. I'll ask my lawyer to call your lawyer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to dinner. Good-bye." He hung up, and he was sweating. He was glad he wasn't in Sacramento, so that he wouldn't be tempted to strangle his wife. She had been reasonable up to now, but she seemed to have become deranged. Perhaps it was that she was being egged on by a mercenary divorce lawyer. He hoped that was all there was to it.