The Gospel According to the Son

44

I wanted to live in less terror. Sweat was on my brow, and heavy, like drops of blood. I said, "Father, take this cup from me." Yet I knew that the cup of misery would not pass; the pit was bottomless. Suddenly I was afraid of my Father for I was full of pity for myself. I said to Him: "It is not what I will but what You will."

When I made my way down to the three I had left behind, they were sleeping. I said: "Peter, could you not watch for an hour?" By his face, I knew that he was imbued with his own terror and it was as large as mine. For what does a strong man do in the hour of his cowardice but fall into sleep? Yet once again Peter swore loyalty to me, and said he would stand guard. "The spirit may be ready," I told him, "but the flesh is weak."

I went off to pray by myself in the garden. And the odor of betrayal was in the flowers. Even in the flowers. When I returned to the other three, they were asleep. Again they had fallen asleep.

I said, "It is enough. The hour is come."

As I spoke, Judas came toward us. With him were Temple Guards and Roman soldiers. He marched straightaway to me and said, "Master, Master," and he kissed me on the mouth. It was then that I knew he loved me too, and more than he could ever have believed.

By no more than half, however, did he love me. His lips were burning with fever. He must have said to the guards: "He whom I will kiss speaks as the Messiah." He could have said no less than that, for they came forward at once to lay hands on me. Peter then drew his sword and struck a servant of the High Priest on his ear. That poor fellow's ear turned raw with blood. I said to this servant, "Suffer no further." And touched his ear and healed him. I asked his nameùMalchus. The Roman soldiers were silent and did not come to aid Malchus because he was a Jew, but then they also drew back because I had healed a wound.

I said to the Temple Guards: "Have you come to find a thief?"

Hearing this speech, they seized me, and James and John fled. Even Peter was gone. So were the Roman soldiers.

I suffered these Temple Guards to lead me away.