The Only One

Chapter 13

Both my mom and sister made plans to come in for the surgery. My heightened sense of joy that John and Monica would be there was deflated as soon as I thought about my mom and sister meeting John. I could just imagine how many questions they would hound him with. Maybe it was a bad idea for him to come. And that was exactly what I planned to tell him that Monday in class. One week from my surgery.

“Hey, Red, good to see you showed up for class.” He smiled, taking the seat next to me.

“I always come to class. It’s you who I haven’t seen around for awhile.”

“So, you’ve been looking for me?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Kind of hard to miss you. You do have the body of a pro wrestler you know.” I smiled, pulling out my notebook.

“Speaking of body. How are you feeling?”

I rolled my eyes. “That was a horrible segue.”

“Hey, I can’t be smooth every time.” He looked at me with his big, puppy dog eyes. Why did I have to have cancer? Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl that could have hooked up with him and didn’t have to stare at him every day, knowing that I couldn’t have him?

“Well, I guess that leads into what I wanted to talk to you about. You don’t have to come to my surgery. It’s Thanksgiving break and your family will probably want you to come home.”

“It’s fine, Red. Thanksgiving isn’t until Thursday. I can spare a few hours for my favorite Harry Potter fan.”

I opened my mouth and then shut it again, trying to think of another excuse for him not to come. “Well...uh...you know it’s really not necessary. My mom is going to be there and Monica said she would come and it will just be a lot of people sitting in a small waiting room. I probably won’t even see you or will be too doped up afterward to remember that you were there.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you embarrassed of me? Do you really not want me to come that bad?”

I shook my head ferociously, my curls bobbing around. “Oh, no, it’s totally not you at all.”

“Then what is it?”

Our professor walked to the front of the room, booting up the computer to start the power point presentation. We only had a few more minutes before he started the lecture.

“It’s nothing. I just don’t want to put you out,” I whispered.

He leaned in closer. I could smell his freshly laundered shirt and the cologne that smelled like heaven. “You aren’t making me do anything that I don’t want to do. I want to make sure you’re okay and to be there for you. If you tell me you don’t want me there, then I won’t go.”

I did want him there. I wanted him everywhere with me. I wanted to sit with him every day and eat cheesecake and watch Harry Potter. I didn’t care that he was with another girl or that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wanted to forget about the past and just think about a future with him. If only cancer wasn’t in the way.

“I just...” I sighed. “I don’t know.”

He put his hand on my knee. “I’ll do whatever you want, Red. I’ll stay in town this weekend and we can hang out. If you want me to leave on Sunday before your surgery, I can do that. But either way, we’re hanging out this weekend. You don’t have a choice on that one.”

I couldn’t say no. Especially when his hand was on me. Cancer sure didn’t stop my sex drive. “Fine.”

“Awesome.” He squeezed my knee and then left his hand there for the rest of class.

Despite the fact that I had a disease growing inside me, that didn’t excuse me from going to classes or work. It was midterms, which meant everyone was getting extra caffeinated and the coffee shop was always slammed. I kept calling and requesting people to take extra shifts, but Monica was the only one who ever answered. At least it meant I got to hang out with her instead of someone like Betsy.

“One non-fat caramel mocha with an extra shot of espresso,” Monica yelled while writing the order on the cup. I didn’t know if she did this for my benefit or for hers, to keep all of the orders straight. She manned the register while I pumped out the drinks. After doing the job for two years I was pretty quick at it. That was one of the reasons I was promoted to student manager. The other was that no one else wanted the job.

“Skinny caramel mocha, dirty. Got it,” I yelled back.

And speaking of dirty, the owner of the drink happened to be the girl that I saw giving John a lap dance. I didn’t get too good of a look at her face, but I’d recognize her self-satisfying smirk anywhere. Her long brown hair was pulled into a tight ponytail that made her skin look like it was being stretched out and that smirk even wider. She wore a bright pink shirt with the letters KB stitched on it in black. Kappa Beta. The same sorority that Monica was in before she transferred. I’d have to ask if she knew the lap dance skank.

“Make sure you use non-fat milk.”

I looked up to see that lap dance skank had her big brown eyes focused on me as she leaned over the counter.

I smiled, which was the hardest thing ever to make my face to. “I will.” What I really wanted to do was switch the skim milk with half and half and then pee in it, but I couldn’t exactly do that with her standing and watching my every move. Instead I went about my usual business of pouring the milk in the steam pot, but just as I was about ready to heat it, lap dance skank gasped.

I almost dropped the steam pot before looking up at her. “What?”

She blinked her large brown eyes and her mouth went into an O shape before she spoke. “Nothing. You just looked familiar is all.” She pulled out her cell phone and typed furiously on the touch screen.

Even though there was a line of people waiting for their drinks and Monica still kept yelling the orders, I couldn’t just let this girl get away with what she was trying to do. I saw the recognition on her face. She knew exactly who I was and what she was doing.

“Texting all of your friends, huh? Telling them that you saw the girl who caught you trying to get in John Boy’s pants?”

At first she didn’t say anything and just kept typing. Then it was like a light bulb went off and she looked up, narrowing her eyes. “What did you just say to me?”

“Nothing too important.” I put the steam pot underneath the steamer and started it up. “Just that I recognized you as the girl who was giving John Boy a lap dance at Alpha Mu, but he ran out of the room as soon as he was caught with you. He must have been pretty embarrassed,” I yelled over the hissing of the machine.

“Excuse me?” Her eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head, which would have been pretty hard considering how tight her skin was pulled from her ponytail.

The milk steamed to 140 degrees. I pulled it out of the steamer, turning it off, only briefly taking my eyes off of the girl. I wasn’t about to back down. “I said that I saw you all over John at the party last weekend and he ran out of the room as soon as he got caught with you. So it seems as if he was pretty embarrassed.” I wasn’t a slut shamer. I wasn’t one of those girls that just started spewing hate at random girls I didn’t know, but there was something about her that really got to me.

She blinked hard and then a small smile returned to her face. “Oh, wait, now I remember you. You’re the freaky little cancer girl that won’t leave John Boy alone.” She leaned in, but kept her voice up.

I couldn’t even answer. My mouth just gaped open. How the hell did she know about my cancer? John must have told her...but why? Is that what he thought of me?

Monica came to my side and looked the girl right in the eye. “Missy, I think you’d better leave. I didn’t think you could sink any lower, but trying to make fun of someone for having cancer is just beyond low.”

“I’ll leave right after I get my drink,” Missy said with a smirk.

“Monica leaned over the machine, lowering her voice. “If you don’t leave here in two seconds I will pour this drink on your bitch face, understood?”

“Ugh!” Missy recoiled back. “Whatever. Your shit is nasty anyway. I’ll just drive to Starbucks.” With that she swayed away like she was some sort of princess and we were just her minions.

My breath felt like it was caught in my throat and I had to grip onto the counter.

“Are you all right?” Monica whispered.

I wasn’t going to cry. I wanted to so bad, but I couldn’t. “Yeah. I’m fine. Take the next orders.”

After work I could have gone home. I probably should have gone straight home, but instead I let my emotions guide me and stomped all the way to the Alpha Mu house. I didn’t even know if John was home or what I would have done if he wasn’t.

I pounded on the front door. There was a giant brass knocker that had a lion head on it, but I wasn’t sure if that actually worked and I couldn’t find a doorbell. I may have been little, but I put everything I had into pounding on that door, hoping someone would answer.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, a tall, lanky guy who looked like he was half asleep answered. “Hey? Um there’s no party going on right now...”

I pushed past him. “I’m not here for a party. I’m here to see John Walden. Is he here?” I looked around the common room. Everything was surprisingly empty, not like how I was used to seeing it.

“Yeah. He’s up in his room.” The guy pointed toward the stairwell.

“Good. I hope he doesn’t have some random girl up there with him,” I grumbled and marched up the stairs. Luckily, no one stopped me. I kind of doubted anyone was actually there, and if they were, they weren’t awake even though it was in the afternoon on a week day.

When I got to John’s door I didn’t even knock. I just threw it open. He was sitting in his desk chair, but this time a girl wasn’t on top of him. He was at his computer and lifted his head up with a big grin when he saw me.

“Hey, Red. Long time no see. Are you here for a nooner?”

I shook my head and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me before I crossed my arms over my chest. “You seriously have some nerve.”

He let out a deep breath. “What now, Melanie? What did I do now? It always seems like I did something to fuck up, so lay it on me.”

“How the hell can you just be so nonchalant about things all the time? I’m dealing with some serious shit right now and you’re always just ‘whatever’ about everything.”

John stood up, his full height looming over me. My eyes trailed from his broad chest to his face as he took another step toward me. “You need to relax.”

I dropped my hands. “Relax? How am I supposed to relax? It seems like everything that deals with you has some sort of drama and it’s getting old. Did you know that chick that was using you as a pole showed up at work today? And you know what else? She somehow knew I had cancer. Who the hell told her that? I know it wasn’t Monica, so it had to be you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Did Missy really say that?”

“Yes, yes she did. She said the only reason you hang out with me is because you feel sorry for me. Is that what you’re telling people? Because if it is, I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. I can take care of myself. You don’t need to waste your time with the broken girl.”

I could feel the tears wanting to fill my eyes. Everything always seemed like it was falling apart. My body was failing me with cancer and I couldn’t keep a guy that would be faithful to me.

“Hey.” He put his fingers under my chin and closed the space between us. “You only think you’re the broken one, but I’m the only one who needs to be fixed.”

He put his other arm around my waist and pulled me closer. “When I ran after you, Missy followed and was asking why I was so concerned what you thought. If you were my girlfriend. I didn’t know how to answer so I just blurted out that you had cancer. I know you don’t want the world to know, but it just came out and I’m sorry.”

I still didn’t know what he meant about being the one who needed to be fixed. Sure he was sort of a manwhore, but everything else about him was perfect. He was good looking, smart, funny, everything I wanted in a guy. Everything that would eventually lead to this moment with me ready to cry and heartbroken.

“You don’t need to be fixed, John. You’re perfect.”

He shook his head. “I’m glad you think that of me, but you’re the first girl that has actually wanted to get to know me. You didn’t want just a quick jump in my bed.” He sighed, dropping his hands.

“I’ll admit that at first I just wanted to fuck you crazy. Take the girl that seemed stuck up and give her the night of her life.”

“Charming.” I smirked.

“I’m not finished.” He pulled me closer, pressing his warm body against me. “Then I got to know you. The girl that actually cared about the meanings of my tattoos. The girl that puts up a brave face for the world and keeps her feelings in.”

He leaned into me. “It made me realize how fucked up I was. How much I needed to change my ways. When you caught me with Missy, I felt like shit. I knew I couldn’t mess this up. I knew that I’d fucked up big time, but I just can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you. The last thing that I ever wanted to do is hurt you. I’ve been a dick for far too long and I’m trying to fix that. Starting with patching things up with you. Go out with me and the guys on Friday. I know you don’t want to, but I want to. I need to.”

“Okay. Friday night it is.”

He smiled. “Great.” He then moved closer, his lips just inches from mine and his breath hot on my lips. “And Red? Don’t call yourself broken. There’s nothing about you that needs to be fixed.”