The Only One

Chapter 17

My eyes opened to darkness and the sound of my mother snoring in the living room. I moaned and tried to get up, but all I managed to do was turn to my side and then groan when a shooting pain between my legs made me see stars. I closed my eyes hard and bit down on my lip so I wouldn’t scream.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need a pain pill?” Valerie was at my side, turning on the lamp on my nightstand, with a glass of water and a giant white pill in her hand.

I nodded and slowly, very slowly sat up. My body felt like it had been stuffed in a suitcase all day and it was hard to even stretch out. “Thanks,” I said before downing the pill and the water.

“Here, you better eat something with that. These are pretty potent pills.” Valerie handed me some graham crackers. I didn’t eaten all day and didn’t have much of an appetite so I just stared at them.

“I’m going to sit here until you eat these. So you’re either going to eat them or it’s going to be a long night,” she said, no nonsense written all over her face.

“Fine. Fine.” I rolled my eyes and took a small bite of the cracker.

“How are you feeling? You’ve been pretty out of it.”

“Like someone took a laser to my lady bits.” I said it without any humor and took another bite of graham cracker.

“Ha, well they kind of did.”

“I didn’t say anything too stupid while I was loopy, did I?”

“You did keep telling your hot, non-boyfriend that he smelled really good.”

I blinked. “So he really did stick around?”

“Uh, yeah,” Valerie spoke in a valley girl-like voice. “For not being your boyfriend, the guy seems really into you. He even carried you into your apartment and to the bathroom a few times for me to change that giant ice diaper.”

“Seriously?” I widened my eyes. I thought he’d seen me at my worst, but now the guy was carrying me around when I was out of it and had to take me to the bathroom. There was no way he was ever going to think of me as more than the broken girl.

“I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. Even Mom was impressed with him. You should probably try to not fuck things up with this one.”

I rolled my eyes. “Val, I’m not going to fuck things up more than they already are. We aren’t together. He just feels sorry for me.”

“Will you cut that out?” Val’s words stopped me. Her normally perky voice turned sharp and got my attention. “You’re always getting down on yourself. Just because that loser, Robby, cheated on you and Dad was a jerk, doesn’t mean that every guy is going to be like them.”

I shook my head. “Valerie, you don’t understand. This guy is a walking one night stand. He’s been with a lot of girls and I even caught another girl giving him a lap dance in his room.”

“Seriously? Maybe you don’t know what you saw. Maybe the girl wanted him and he was trying to get away,” she said, half shocked and half defending.

I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t defend him. You weren’t there.”

Valerie raised her hands. “Hey, you’re the one that said you two weren’t dating. I’m just trying to get the facts straight.”

I sighed. “Val, I’m just trying to get through this cancer stuff right now. I don’t want to keep thinking about what me and John are or what we aren’t. I’ve got enough complications.”

“Okay.” Val nodded and then kissed my forehead. “I was just trying to keep your mind off of things. But I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

The rest of the week I was stuck in the same routine. I’d wake up, take a pain pill, and then go back to bed. I felt like I was in some sort of old folks’ home and had to be taken care of 24/7. John texted me quite a bit from home and Monica was sporadic with her texts, mainly because she was staying with the Chapmans for Thanksgiving and was nervous as hell around Trey’s family. She promised that she’d be back after Thanksgiving to tell me all about it.

My family was never really big on holidays. My dad was an only child whose parents spent a lot of time in Florida and my mom’s family didn’t really do much. Thus, I didn’t feel like I was missing out by not having a big Thanksgiving. It was one day that Mom didn’t actually have to work, so she came to my apartment, carrying an already prepared Thanksgiving meal from the grocery store that she set up on my coffee table.

“It’s nothing fancy, but it’s not like we’re fancy people,” Mom said, jokingly, but there was a hint of sadness to it. This wasn’t our first Thanksgiving without dad, but it still felt like there was something missing but none of us wanted to say it. I didn’t think Mom even talked to him anymore. He probably had no idea about my cancer and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him. I didn’t know if I wanted to open that can of worms.

“So, how have you been feeling, Mel? Do you think you’re going to be able to go back to school on Monday?”

I spooned some turkey onto my plate. My appetite didn’t really come back, but Valerie was always making sure I was eating so I didn’t throw up my pain pills. “I think so. I have to go back to work as well, so I’d better be.”

“Geez, you just had some major surgery here, can’t they give you a break?” Valerie asked.

“Sorry, not all of us got a scholarship for college,” I muttered.

Valerie dropped her fork on the table, which would have made a bigger impact if it wasn’t plastic. “Seriously, Melanie, get over yourself.”

“Excuse me?” I looked at my sister, who had her fists clenched on the table.

“Valerie, stop. Let’s just have a nice dinner,” Mom said, putting her hand on Valerie’s arm.

Valerie shrugged off Mom’s hand. “No. I’m tired of this. I’ve been here taking care of you all week, Mel, and listening to you bitch.” She let out a deep breath. “Yes, it sucks that you have cancer, but look at all the awesome things you have. You have a mother and sister who love you and one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen cares about you so much. I don’t know if you’re too blind to see it or you just think you’re going to get hurt, but you have to get out of this rut, Mel or you’re going to bury yourself.”

I blinked hard. I didn’t even know what I could say to that. She was right, of course. But I would never let her know that. “Will you excuse me?” I put my fork and napkin down and went into the bathroom, my only room with a door. I turned the water on in the sink and slid down to the floor, finally letting the tears fall from my eyes. So what if I was having a pity party and I needed to cry? I couldn’t do it in front of Mom and Valerie anymore. My life was a mess and maybe I was burying myself, but I didn’t know what else to do.

A knock came at the door. “Mel? I know you aren’t just letting the water run in there for no reason, so you’d better let me in before your bill skyrockets.” Val’s voice carried through the door.

“No.” I sniffled. “I’m fine. Just go back to eating.”

She opened the door anyway. I should have locked it, but I wasn’t thinking, dammit. I didn’t look up at her, but I heard her shut the door and then slump down on the floor next to me. The bathroom wasn’t that big so we were literally squished between the shower and the toilet like two sardines.

She let out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry about that, Mel. I just got really pissed off. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. You’ve been under enough stress and you don’t need to deal with more of it.”

I shook my head slowly. “No. I’m sorry for being a brat.”

She leaned her head against mine. “Look at us, hanging out in the bathroom while Mom sits out there with dinner. I feel like we’re both trying to get ready to go out to a football game or something like when we lived at home.”

I sniffled. “Yeah, that sucked having only one bathroom.”

“It really wasn’t that bad, and I got to spend more time with you. If we didn’t have to share that bathroom we probably wouldn’t have talked half as much as we did.”

I sighed. “Then you got the scholarship here and you left me with Mom and Dad.”

“Hey, I wasn’t going to stick around with that train wreck, and I knew you were strong. You’re a survivor, Mel. You always have been. You’ve been through more shit than any other girl I know and you’ve lived through it: our parents’ divorce, Robby’s cheating, and getting through college without any financial help. You’re going to live through this cancer, too.” She squeezed my hand. “And if nothing really does happen with you and John, you’re going to survive that as well. You’ve never needed a guy to define you. You’re your own person and Melanie Wilder you have done a damn good job taking care of yourself the past nineteen years.”

“Thanks, Val. You haven’t done so bad either.”

“We should probably get out of here before Mom thinks you either died or have massive diarrhea or something.”

I wrinkled my nose as I got to my feet. “Gross.”

“Hey, just stating what she’s probably thinking.”

We both left the bathroom, a lot better off than when we went in. I finally sat down and had Thanksgiving dinner with my family and didn’t complain anymore about cancer or boys and just enjoyed the two amazing women in my life.