Let Your Guard Down, but Only on Purpose

Offer a calculated nugget of information, or a provocative opinion, to see what the reaction is.

If you say something seemingly off the cuff, you may get a revealing response. I might make an outrageous comment in a meeting just to see whether the other people play along or take a stand and disagree. It’s a good way of assessing the mettle of the folks across the table. Do they want to be liked? Are they comfortable with unpredictability? Are they capable of candor?

Know that your negotiating partner might bluff, too. But when it comes to serious endeavors, you don’t want bluffers of any sort. Study the person’s history.

I’m always surprised when newcomers to the real estate industry think that talking big and fast will get them somewhere with me. Construction of a big building is painstaking work and that’s the kind of person I want doing it—someone who will take the time to do it right. I don’t want people who think they can get it done in record time. That can spell disaster.

I remember one contractor who tried every angle to convince me how fast he was. His time estimates were so far off that I couldn’t take him seriously, but I let him keep trying to pitch me just to find out how full of it he really was. He must have thought he caught me on a bad day or with my guard down, but my guard wasn’t down—I was just incredulous. Finally, I told the guy that what he was saying was exactly what I never wanted to hear. He was the first person whose bid was ruled out.

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