A Man to Call My Own

Chapter 34

MARIAN AWOKE GROGGY-EYED AND Still fully dressed, right down to her shoes. She supposed she'd gotten some sleep, but probably not much. She hadn't glanced at the clock before she'd shoved her latest painting under the bed, then curled up in a ball on top of the covers.

She'd never painted by lamplight before, but then she'd never painted with tears in her eyes before either. She wasn't happy with the result, Chad, lying on a pile of hay, unbuttoning his shirt, his expression so sensual, there was no doubt what was on his mind—or what he was about to do.

It was an image she would never forget, even if she hadn't put it on canvas. The details were exact, right down to the brown stain on one of his sleeves and the small half-moon scar above his navel. It looked so much like him, she couldn't look at it for long without getting butterflies in her belly. But it wasn't a painting she could ever share with anyone, so it would stay under the bed.

She should destroy it, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. She would have to roll it up after it dried completely and hide it away where Rita and Ella Mae wouldn't find it when they cleaned.

She was still sitting on the bed thinking about it when her door opened without warning. Amanda was the only one who ever barged in on her without knocking, and sure enough, her sister stood there, leaning against the doorframe. She was only half-dressed again, though today with a skirt and just her lacy white camisole. She still carried a fan, though she wasn't using it at the moment.

As expected, she was smiling smugly. Actually, because it contained not only triumph and laughter, but hidden knowledge as well, her smile was much more smug than usual.

"What do you want, Mandy?"

"Oh, nothing in particular," Amanda replied, twirling the fan about by its wrist tie.

"Then close the door on your way out, thank you."

"What? No congratulations? You are going to come to the wedding, aren't you?"

Amanda was all but laughing. Marian wondered how her sister managed to restrain herself. Probably because she wanted to lead up to something she'd find even more humorous.

Since Marian was dressed and the bed was made up, with just a wrinkle or two on the cover, Amanda wouldn't guess she'd only just awakened, which would have been proof she'd spent a miserable night. Suspecting that Amanda was out for more blood brought her wide-awake though. She decided to put a dent in her sisters gloating before it went into full steam.

"I wouldn't miss your wedding, Mandy. I've only been waiting several years for you to get around to having one, so I can get about the business of leading a normal life myself—with you out of it."

"You promise not to cry too loudly when I walk down the aisle to meet—him?"

"Well, considering he's all but got a shotgun trained to the back of his head, tears would probably be inappropriate. Not that you can really consider someone to be forced into doing something if he would have gotten around to doing it on his own anyway. Merely a difference in timing. So yes, I think I can restrain myself."

It was the casual tone Marian had managed to muster that brought the twist of annoyance to Amanda's lips. "Don't try to pretend you don't care."

"Now there's another interesting difference in timing. Yesterday morning, I probably would have cared. This morning, no, I'm afraid not."

"Liar! You know you want him. You would never have become a stable trollop otherwise."

Amanda's crudeness managed to draw a blush. "Look who's talking, you of the half dozen or more sordid conquests. But at least you won't have to put any fake blood on the sheets now, since your husband has actually been fooled into thinking he was the first to touch you. Bravo, sister, that was rather brilliant, even for you."

The blush changed sides. "That's not why I did it. As if I'd care what my husband thinks," Amanda scoffed indignantly. "The man I marry will be grateful I marry him, virgin or not."

"A moot point, since the him has already been decided," Marian said.

"Yes, it has, hasn't it."

Amanda was back to smirking. This was such a major triumph for her, not acquiring a husband quickly, without having to waste time on courtship, but acquiring the husband that Marian had wanted for herself. This was "getting even" in the grandest way, for every little slight, resentment, and jealousy she held against Marian.

She'd probably even go through with it, since it would get her what she wanted. And if Chad couldn't be cajoled or nagged into taking her home, she'd find a way to get there on her own. He might come after her. Actually, he probably would, since he did want her after all. But after a half dozen or so times of being put to the bother of chasing her down, he'd give up and she'd have exactly what she was ultimately after—her inheritance and no one to answer to.

Marian left the bed, moved over to the door to grasp the handle, an indication that she was going to close it whether Amanda stood in the way or not. Unfortunately, Amanda quickly got out of the way, by stepping inside the room rather than out in the hallway.

"Take your gloating elsewhere, Mandy, I'm really not interested."

Amanda began fanning herself, despite a nice breeze coming in through the open windows, and strolled lazily about the room. "I'm curious," she said, completely ignoring the offer to leave. "Why didn't you speak up last night with the truth? Too noble to force him to the altar yourself?"

"No, because I have a little more respect for myself than you do, to want—"

"I have the utmost respect for myself," Amanda cut in. "It's you who doesn't—or you wouldn't make yourself look like an ugly old maid."

The blush was back, but it was an angry one this time. "You know what, Mandy, you're absolutely right," Marian agreed with her.

She yanked off her spectacles, held them up in front of her with both hands, and snapped them in two, then tossed them aside. She removed the hairpins while she was at it and shook her hair loose.

Amanda hadn't expected her goading to draw such results. She stood there a little in shock for a moment, staring at her own reflection. "You know you won't reveal yourself completely," she said hesitantly, a bit hopefully. "You've worn that disguise too long."

"Too long is right. And thanks for reminding me that I don't need it anymore. You've got your husband lined up. I think it's pretty safe for me to start looking for one now, wouldn't you say?"

"No, I wouldn't," Amanda huffed. "And don't think I don't know what you're up to. You're going to try to win him back, but it won't work, not unless you tell him the truth—and why the hell didn't you?"

"Because he wouldn't have believed me. You heard him there in the stable. He thought it was you all along. He wanted it to be you. And when he's done being annoyed over the 'supposed' deception, he'll be thrilled that he's getting the woman he's wanted from the start."

"Yes, he will, won't he," Amanda purred, letting her conceit surface again. "He won't even mind that I lied. He'll probably be glad that I did—if he ever finds out. It's too bad you wanted him, too."

"Yes, it is, but at least I realized my mistake before it's too late. I can actually thank you for getting me out of that mess. Believe me, I never thought I'd say that."

Amanda blinked, frowned, then demanded, "What are you talking about now? What mess?"

"The one created by my mistake. I was foolish enough to think he might like me. I didn't know he was sure it was you he was making love to. If you hadn't lied about it, I would have been stuck with him."

"Dammit, Mari, when did you get the idea that I was stupid? I know what you're doing, but it won't work. You liked him enough to let him have you there in the stable. Don't try to pretend you don't now."

"I liked him, yes, but I wouldn't have let him 'have' me, as you put it, if I hadn't gotten carried away by my first taste of passion. I would have wanted to be sure of his feelings first, and now that I am sure of them, I wouldn't marry him even if for some reason you don't."

"I don't believe you."

"I could care less."

Amanda's lips thinned, a sign that she was no longer sure of her evaluation. Marian tossed in the clincher.

"You know, Mandy, I hate to say it, but in this we're very much alike."

Amanda snorted. "Like hell we are."

"I know, I find it hard to believe, too." Marian grinned. "But what you're overlooking is that I'm not willing to be any man's second choice any more than you are. Now will you get out? I have my entire wardrobe to go through, to see if anything is salvageable for the 'new' me. Or maybe you wouldn't mind lending me a few of your dresses until I can find a seamstress in town? You haven't exactly been wearing your clothes lately, so I'm sure you won't miss them!"