A Writer's Tale

On “Real” Jobs

YOU’RE AN ASPIRING WRITER.

But everyone warns you that you need a “real job to fall back on.”

An annoying thing for them to say.

It demeans you from the get-go.

Besides, everyone has it backwards. You don’t need a real job to “fall back on” in case the writing career goes on the fritz. Instead, you need the real job to sustain you during the early years, before the writing career has blossomed enough to provide you with a decent annual income. (See “On Money.”)

There is little doubt that you will need a “real job” during the early stages of your writing career.

Now, what sort of job should you take?

First, it should be one that you like. If you’re very lucky, you may only need it for five years. More likely, though, you may need to turn out fiction for ten years before you’ll be able to make a decent living at it. It may take longer. And some people are never able to make it as a full time writer. (Which I figure is their fault. In my own opinion, those who don’t make it generally fail because they don’t try hard enough. My theory is, I’m an average guy. If I can do it, anyone can. If he works at it hard enough.) Okay. So try to find employment in a job that you won’t mind keeping for a decade or longer. That is most important. But be careful. If you like the job too ‘much and let it consume your time and energy, that’ll be the end of you as a novelist.

Second most important, look for a job that gives you the maximum amount of free time.

A job in education is ideal for this reason. Most teachers get off work in mid-afternoon and receive three to four months of vacation each year. An entire novel can be written during one summer vacation. (I wrote The Cellar during one.) Being a teacher is an ideal side-career for a great many reasons. A possible drawback is that some educators get so caught up in preparing lesson plans, grading papers, etc., that they have trouble getting around to their fiction. This need not happen, though. Even the most conscientious teacher in the world should be able to find an hour or two each day for pursuing a career as an author.

If a career in education isn’t right for you, look for any sort of job that might allow you extra blocks of free time. The fewer hours per day you need to work at the “real job,” the more time you can devote to writing. If you can earn enough money at some sort of part-time job (such as substitute teaching, construction work, “consulting,” office temporary work, etc.) so much the better.

It is probably best to avoid jobs that involve writing. (A lot of people might disagree with this, but it’s my opinion.) In many cases, the writing you do for your job will put an enormous strain on your urge to write fiction in your spare time. You’ve been writing all day. Probably the last thing you’ll want to do, after getting home from work, is to sit down in front of your computer for another hour or two.

The need to hold a “real job” is not entirely a bad thing.

Nonwriting jobs can be valuable to you as a writer beyond their function of providing a stable income.

You might want to seek out jobs that will provide you with colorful background material for your fiction. Some of the most successful novelists have been doctors, seamen, police officers, lawyers, and soldiers. But such jobs require a lot of time and dedication. They aren’t for everyone. Also, some of the most colorful jobs can get you maimed or killed.

No matter what sort of job you take in order to make ends meet, you’ll find that it offers you a lot of valuable experiences. You’ll learn the ins and outs of whatever business it might be.

And you’ll probably be forced into contact with people.

People!

People characters are at the center of everything you will ever ‘write. (They’ll also be your audience.) So pay close attention to everyone you meet at work. Learn their physical characteristics, their quirks, their charms and flaws. Then, when you sit down to write your fiction, use what you’ve learned about them.

Take full advantage of the situation. After you’ve given up the “real job,” you’ll no longer have such close contact with so many people. You’ll actually loose a great source of fresh material.

(However, you’ll be more than glad to lose most of it.)

Finally, you should try to avoid taking any job that involves you to any large extent intellectually or emotionally. Your job should not consume you. It’s something you do to make ends meet while you write. When you’re not actually on the job, you need to be able to shut it out, ignore it, leave it behind.

In a very real sense, you’ll be an imposter at the “real job.” You’re putting on a good show at being a clerk, a secretary, a teacher, a carpenter, a truck driver, an accountant, a computer repairman, a salesman, a lawyer, a doctor, a janitor, a guard, a cop…You should do a good job, but you’re an imposter and a spy you’re a writer.