Aberration of Starlight

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I haven’t really had a chance to offer my sympathy to you, Helga. I mean poor Otto. A wonderful man. It was such a shock to us.¹

Ja. For me too, Marie dear. But you can know about it with your own poor mother passing away. Life is hard, hard. I was saying to Otto last winter, just last winter, before he took sick. Ach, we thought it was a bad cold, how Bridget was last summer not looking so good. Peaked, you know, and so pale, not like her skin always was so nice and fresh. Peaches with cream.²

Yes. She was sick a long time before we knew just how sick she really was. The doctor, oh … the doctor said it was her blood was just tired.³

Ah, ja! The doctors. They don’t know nothing!

Momma was always so strong and full of fun, you know? It was just terrible to watch her get weaker and weaker every day. But she was a soldier.⁴ Never a word of complaint out of her.

A swell regular sport she was. I remember like yesterday, right here, watching her play croquet with your father. Ja. Always a good sport she was. And ready for anything. Ach, life! Who would believe that you and me—? Always she had, always, a nice smile on her for everybody and a nice word.⁵ A real lady. I’ll miss her more and more. None of us are getting any younger. Ah! Your poppa must be so sad but always a gentleman. You never see him telling his troubles to the world. Polite and nice. You’re a lucky daughter, ja.

Poppa misses her so much, I know. Well, they’d be married thirty-six years this fall — October.⁶ That’s a lifetime.

Thirty-six years! Your poppa don’t look a day over fifty!⁷ God bless him. The boy — he misses his granma?

Oh my God, yes. He adored his granma. Well, you know how grandmothers spoil their grandchildren. But he seems to have gotten over it, you know how kids are — especially boys.

To have such strength to forget. Well, God is good. We don’t know how lucky we are when we are kids, ja? God makes it so they don’t suffer like we do.

Yes. God is good. If I didn’t believe that …

Now now now. You shouldn’t too much upset yourself. What’s past is past. Maybe it’s all for the best, poor Bridget and Otto, God bless him.

They say that God works in mysterious ways.

I believe this too. Very much. We got to go on living our lives no matter what, ja? You have your big handsome boy to make grow up to be a strong man, and to look after you have your poppa. Now more than ever your poppa needs you, ja?

Yes. Oh yes, we have to go on living. That’s what life is about. But it’s so hard.⁸

But you need to have some fun and relax a little too. We don’t live on only bread, God said. I am starting again to play the piano.⁹ It’s nice and makes me peaceful. And you, I notice how nice it is you have a nice friend here for you.

A nice friend?

Ja. The nice gentleman with the moustache? And a pipe he smokes?¹⁰ Mr. Teebus?¹¹

Oh, Mr. Thebus.

Ja. Excuse me. Sometimes my English.

Well yes, but. Mr. Thebus is not really my friend, I mean my friend alone — I mean he always, you always see him playing croquet with Poppa. They’re really serious about their game of croquet.¹²

Ah?

Yes. Yes. I mean, you watch Poppa play most of the time, don’t you? It seems that way.¹³ I mean, you see … him and Tom …

This is a game I love watching. A nice and calm gentleman’s game. It is good for the nerves, ja? Better than a hundred doctors. And it, ah, it reminds me of Otto. God bless him.

Well. Otto. Well you know the old saying, six of one and half a dozen of the other.¹⁴ Anyway, Mr. Thebus and Poppa really hit it off, I mean he’s our friend. Poppa thinks the world of him.

Ah? Oh ja. A gentleman.

And Mr. Thebus has taken a great shine to Billy too, you know. So of course, we talk about him—Billy. And if we take a little walk once in a while it’s no skin¹⁵ off anyone’s nose. Is it?

It is good to have this friend. What is so nice, so very very nice is what a good man and regular sport is your poppa. He don’t mind it a bit to be left all al — to be, have his nice privacy for a few hours, ja? Dear, believe you me, your poppa knows you are still a young woman. Ja!

A young woman? I don’t know really what … Tom and I have taken two walks, three, three walks. And one night we went to get clams for everybody at Harry and Mary’s.¹⁶ And Peggy Copan came along.

Ah, ja. How nice! How good to have nice friends your age — and one that your poppa likes so much, ja? A croquet player and everything.

I mean it’s just, well. Well, God, anybody can make friends with Tom,¹⁷ Helga.

Ja. With Tom. What a gentleman, so handsome. And so polite and full of fun. And with his nice little shiny car. So sporty.”

Yes.

I don’t want to tell tales but Frieda told me he had some unhappy things at home? Some trouble, his wife? Ja?

He’s … I think, he’s divorced. He never mentions it. To any of us. Has he ever mentioned it, ah, to you …?

Ach! Me? I hardly know the gentleman except to say good morning and once and a while watching him play croquet with your poppa. It reminds me so of poor Otto to watch the men play croquet. God bless him. Mr. Thebus don’t talk to me.

Yes, well, I don’t know anything about his personal business. He’s just a good friend and that’s fine with me, and that’s that.

Ja. Dear Marie, listen to a piece of advice? Divorce, in this day and age, so what? Not one soul has ever spoke a word about yourself for instance. Ja! They haven’t got anything for you but a good word. Mr. Thebus nobody knows about but I don’t ever hear a word either.

I don’t even know, Helga, if the gentleman is divorced.

Ah, I’m sorry, excuse me, I’m making you mad. Who cares? is what I’m saying. It’s probably my English, ja? He is a fine gentleman, always a smile and a joke and a nice word. Please don’t think I’m a busybody butting in, but a young and attractive woman like you … You need to have some good clean fun, you need to stop worrying and worrying about your poppa.

Worrying about him? What do you mean, worrying about him?

Marie. Dear. Please. You’ll listen to a woman almost old enough to be your mother. I’m not ashamed of my age. I know your poppa for years now. He can take care of himself. He’s the first, the first person to say he wants you to be independent, to do what you like to do. Ja! And he likes, so much, this Mr. Thebus anyway. He must be happy to see you having a nice friend. Ja?

That’s fine, but that’s not the same thing as, yes, I know Poppa really likes Tom, but I do worry about him being left alone even if I just take a little walk after supper to the Hi-Top.¹⁸Poppa needs me.

You are a good daughter, ja. But don’t talk the nonsense to me, please. You think your poppa can’t find people to chat with and pass along the time of day? What do you think your poppa does when you and the girls and all go swimming in the afternoon? What?¹⁹ Dear Marie, your poppa knows me years and years. We have a million things to talk about.

Oh, you. Well.

Ja, me. And the other boarders and Frieda and Louis when he comes in for a glass of beer.²⁰ He has his cronies, your poppa. Thank God.

I know he has.

Marie, let me talk plain to you like the nose on your face. I know that you feel at wit ends, ja? A nice gentleman comes along, divorced, all right, all right, let’s just make believe he is, he likes you. You find out he is a very nice and attractive man. He likes your young man of a son. You both have had terrible heartaches, ja? So what is wrong with a quiet stroll once and a while?²¹ Maybe even he might ask you out in the evening? A dance or a movie date? Marie, dear, your poppa will be fine. He needs some privacy also.

You mean you’ll look after him.

Well. Look after him …

What I mean is, I mean, as long as we’re speaking plain, if you and Poppa, he’s a widower and you … you see what I mean?

Ach, Marie! My God. Poor Otto is not in his grave a year, and your poor mother. God rest their soul. I am talking about chatting. A song on the piano.²²

Of course, I’m sorry I mentioned it. And I’m thankful for your advice, Helga, but Poppa really comes first. A little walk after supper, well… But I’m not going to be, I’m not going to be going here and there, well, you know what I mean.

Of course, ja. But if you want, ja? If you want. An ice cream, a nice Tom Collins.²³ Everybody loves your poppa and he wouldn’t be lonesome.

Thank you.

I mean it. I remember Otto used always to say, “Everybody thinks so high of Mr. McGrath.” Otto always said that. “A real gentleman,” he’d say.

Thank you. Otto used to tell me that, too, oh, many times, summers past. I remember he once told me sitting right here the way we are now. Poppa and you walked down to the far meadow to pick blackberries? Was it?²⁴

I don’t remember this, dear. I don’t think so.

Or when you and Poppa went to get a pitcher of spring water from the old pump behind the church?²⁵ Oh yes, I think that was it, you and Poppa. With the spring water. I remember it. Very well. Momma had gone shopping in Hackettstown.

Well, I … it’s hard to remember such things. So long ago. With Otto on my mind. And your poor momma. Brrr. It is chilly, I think I go in, ja?²⁶