Alfie The Doorstep Cat

Chapter Twenty-Five

It was getting worse. I was becoming a very worried cat. My plan so far had not been without hiccups but I did think it had, on the whole, been working brilliantly. But over the past month, it had all started going wrong.

Jonathan was staying out more and more, usually forgetting to leave me any food. Then, when I next saw him, he would be all contrite, although he would smile like a lunatic cat, so I didn’t believe him at all. He was suddenly very happy with the dreadful Philippa. And she wasn’t very happy with me. Every time she came to our house, she would make a big fuss about me being allowed on the furniture and about how unhygienic I was; a blatant lie, as I was one of the cleanest cats I knew. I took great pride in my appearance; but she just didn’t like me. Yesterday evening, I arrived at Jonathan’s at dinner time. The woman, Philippa, was sat on the sofa, my sofa, next to Jonathan. He was reading a big paper, she was reading a magazine, and they were sitting there as if they had been together for a long time. It made me bristle with annoyance. Jonathan looked up.

‘Alfie, I was wondering where you were. I left some food out for you in the kitchen.’ I looked at him; I hadn’t walked past any food.

‘Oh no, I put it in the fridge, it’s disgusting to leave food out,’ Philippa said. I gave her my meanest look, and even Jonathan raised his eyebrows. He got up and walked to the kitchen. I followed him. He found my food in the fridge and put it down for me.

‘Sorry, mate,’ he said, as he went back to the living room.

They were still sitting in the same place after I’d eaten. I jumped onto Jonathan’s lap to thank him for the food.

‘You don’t mind that?’ Philippa asked, looking at him disapprovingly. She had a bit of a snooty face if you asked me.

‘No, not at all. He’s a good cat.’

‘I don’t think it’s sensible to encourage pets on the furniture.’

‘He’s fine, he doesn’t shed much hair.’ It was funny hearing Jonathan defend me. After all, when we’d first met, he’d accused me of all sorts and he didn’t like me on his furniture, or even in his house at all.

‘Well, it just doesn’t seem like a good idea. What does he do when you’re at work? Where did he sleep last night?’ I wanted to scratch her again. She was so rude!

‘He does what cats do. He hunts, hangs out with other cats. He seems quite happy and he always comes home at some point, so why worry?’

‘It just isn’t practical for people like us to have pets,’ she said. ‘And if you’re happy not knowing where he is …’

‘Why do I feel we are talking about a teenager rather than a cat?’ He laughed. She smiled, tightly. It made her look as though her face would split.

‘Anyway, Jon, can you drive me home? As much as I’d like to stay and talk about the cat, I need to go and prepare for work tomorrow.’

‘Of course, hon. I’ll get my keys. But I’ll have to come straight back, I have some figures to go over.’

When Jonathan left to get his keys, she looked at me really nastily. I hissed at her and she laughed.

‘Don’t think you are any match for me,’ she snarled, before turning on the charm when Jonathan returned.

Saddest of all, when they went to bed, there would be no cashmere blanket for me. I followed them into the room once and Philippa shrieked like I was about to kill her. If only I could! Jonathan picked me up, took me to the landing and closed the bedroom door, shutting me out. He only wanted me when she wasn’t there, it seemed.

And although Jonathan would swat away her criticism of me, I felt as if he didn’t really fight my cause, which was disappointing. For a while I was his only friend and now he seemed to have forgotten that. What a Judas!

Claire was no better. My lovely, sweet Claire was so smitten with Joe that she seemed to think he was the master of the universe. When he said anything, she would agree with him, or laugh as if he was funny, when he really wasn’t. The problem with this relationship was that Joe always came to her house. He said his flat wasn’t very big and he had an annoying flatmate, so he had been staying at Claire’s loads since their first dinner. It was as if he had practically moved in. And although he didn’t say anything bad about me to Claire, he was worse than Philippa, because he pretended he liked me and then when she wasn’t there, he would look at me as if I was the worst thing ever. Once, he had literally tried to kick me out of the way. It was only thanks to my speedy reactions that I was able to dodge him. Of course this seemed to make him even angrier, but he never showed it around Claire. And although Claire always made sure I was fed, she pretty much ignored me when Joe was around; I wasn’t welcome any more. I knew when I wasn’t wanted.

My Margaret had been so reliable, but these people weren’t. I asked Tiger about it but she said that she didn’t know. Her owners didn’t ever go away without looking out for her and they weren’t mean. But then, they were both cat lovers. I wished that Jonathan and Claire were with cat lovers. I knew that if my future was going to be secure I needed Joe and Philippa out of my life and therefore out of Claire and Jonathan’s. I just wasn’t sure yet how on earth I was going to achieve that.

The other problem I had was the weather. I had always been a fair weather cat until forced into homelessness. Then I had braved all elements and survived, but of course I hated it. The rain hadn’t stopped all week. Claire said it was because we’d had an early summer, but I didn’t understand how that could cause rain. The rain was pretty much continuous, the showers were heavy and I had only managed to brave the walk to number 22 once, so it had been a few days since I’d seen Franceska, Polly and the others. I sat on either Claire or Jonathan’s windowsills, watching the rain splatter the windows with a heavy heart.

I was at Claire’s, looking out of the window, when Joe and Claire came downstairs.

‘Sorry darling, but I’ll feed Alfie and then I have to run, I have an early meeting.’

‘No time for coffee with me?’ he asked.

‘It’s because of you I’m running late,’ she giggled. ‘If you want coffee, do you mind letting yourself out?’

‘Not at all,’ he said, pinching her bottom and grinning. I couldn’t believe my eyes as she went to the kitchen to feed me, then went to put a coat on, before leaving the house. He watched her go and then he looked at me.

‘You don’t want to be out in that rain, do you?’ he said. I miaowed, uncertainly. ‘Well tough.’ He picked me up roughly by the neck and threw me out of the front door. I landed on my feet, but I was upset, sore from where he had grabbed me, and I was getting wet. Shaking myself off in anger, I stalked away.

I reasoned that since I was already wet I would brave it and try to go and see the others at the number 22 flats. When I got there, my fur was soaked right through. I miaowed and scratched on Franceska’s door but there was no answer. I couldn’t hear anything from Polly’s flat either, so I wondered if they had all gone out together, although the weather was so bad I didn’t know why on earth they would. I felt so dejected. As the rain started to ease off, I wandered down to the pond in the park. It had been such an awful morning so far, that I decided to cheer myself up by going to find a butterfly or a bird to chase. It didn’t occur to me that they would all be sheltering from the rain. I got to the pond and found it deserted. So instead, I contented myself with trying to chase my reflection. I got as close as I could but the grass was muddy and before I knew it, I started to slide. I desperately tried to use my claws to grip on to the pond bank, but it was useless; it was so slippery that despite scrabbling to get away from the dark water below, I only slid ever closer to the freezing depths. I yowled loudly, terrified, not knowing what I would do if I fell into the cold water – I couldn’t swim and I had no idea how to get out. Again, I desperately tried to find the bank as I saw yet another of my nine lives flash before me. I used my paws to try to find something, anything, I could cling on to. I cried out as loudly as I could, but I felt hope deserting me as I realised I couldn’t hold on any longer and pitched tail-first into the pond. I heard a loud ‘splash’ as I hit the water. The first thing I noticed was the cold as I was submerged. I screeched again as I tried to pull myself out of the water but my head kept being submerged. I felt as if I was losing any strength I had to stop myself from drowning.

‘Alfie, is that you?’ I heard a familiar voice shout; as my head briefly reached the surface I saw it was Matt. I tried to cry out again but no sound came. All I could hear was the whooshing of the water as my head bobbed up and down.

‘Alfie, try to swim, I’ll get you.’ Matt was shouting. I used my paws to try to paddle for my life, and I glimpsed Matt, on his knees in the mud, trying to lean forward.

‘I’ve got a stick, try to grab it,’ he said as I briefly saw him waving a branch at me. I tried to grab it with my paws but it was too far away and I went under the water again. The next time I came to the surface I saw Matt was practically in the pond with me.

‘Alfie, nearly there. Please try to keep still.’ I heard the pleading in his voice and I felt his arm try to grab me but the water pulled me under again.

I had no energy left and I felt as if I couldn’t fight any more but I tried desperately to reach the surface yet again. My eyes were closed as I felt an arm grab at me. I screeched as I felt the grip tighten and then suddenly all was still. I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the bank of the pond on top of Matt who was soaked from the rain and his clothes covered in mud.

‘Oh God, I thought you were a goner,’ he said, as he clutched me to him. I was so exhausted I couldn’t say anything; I just collapsed into his arms. ‘Let’s get you home and dry and then I’ll see if you need a vet.’ I was so weak with relief that I didn’t move.

When we got into the flat, he took me through to the bathroom and wrapped me in a fluffy towel. He then went and changed into clean clothes. I snuggled into the towel, still too exhausted to move. He carried me gently into the living room and put me on the sofa. He brought me some milk in a bowl and I drank it gratefully.

‘What were you doing, falling in a pond?’ he asked. I yelped. ‘Well, I guess you’ll stay away when it’s this wet and muddy. You poor little thing. Are you OK now?’ I purred. I felt my strength returning and Matt was making me feel better. I was cross with myself for taking risks, but at least I had seven lives still intact.

‘Are you wondering where they are? Polly, Franceska and the kids?’ he asked. I miaowed, quietly. ‘They’ve gone away. Franceska took the boys to Poland, for a few weeks. Thomasz booked it as a surprise. Then Polly got a virus, so we decided it was best she go to her mum’s until she’s better. I’m going to spend the weekends there until she’s ready to come back.’ He stroked my drying fur. ‘I’m supposed to be working from home this afternoon so you can hang out with me!’ He was so cheerful and kind, I fleetingly felt better.

I felt so grateful to Matt, although sad that Franceska and Aleksy weren’t there in my hour of need after my near death experience. I knew I was feeling sorry for myself, mainly because of the horrible Joe, but Matt’s kindness had made me feel better. I did sense some of my loneliness returning; I missed my families.

Obviously, because I hadn’t visited recently due to the weather, they hadn’t been able to tell me that they were going away. I knew from the last time I had seen Franceska that she needed her mamma, plus Polly needed something too. So I tried to be less selfish and feel glad that although they were gone, they would be back. It was only going to be a few weeks, which wasn’t too long. Not even for an insecure cat like me.

After drinking my milk, I curled up and slept on Matt and Polly’s sofa and I dreamt of everyone that I loved – from my past, Margaret and Agnes, and from my present, Claire, Jonathan, Franceska, the boys and Polly, Matt and Henry. Just because things weren’t perfect, I had no cause to complain. It wasn’t so long ago that I’d had no one, so I needed to be more grateful for where I was now.

I woke up hours later and felt better and drier. I shook myself and got off the sofa, leaving the towel, wet from my damp fur. I jumped onto Matt’s lap to get his attention and then I went and stood by the front door.

‘Ah, you want to go?’ He smiled. ‘At least that means you are OK now. It’s funny, we all wonder where you go when you leave here, but I guess you have a home that’s expecting you.’ I cocked my head to one side. Matt opened the door. ‘Bye Alfie, visit any time.’

I waited at Claire’s for her to come home from work. Still a little bit shaken by the events of the morning, I curled up in my bed and tried to get warm. Although I was dry, the coldness you get from being wet through had lingered and I was still a little traumatised.

I heard Claire’s key in the door and she walked in. She was alone so I went up to her and made a massive fuss. I needed her love. I really did, more than ever. She rewarded me with a loving cuddle before she put me down and went to feed me.

‘You seem a bit soppy today,’ she said, as she put my food on the mat. I was practically stuck to her legs. ‘Not that I’m complaining,’ she laughed. ‘I feel as though you’ve been cross with me lately. Tash said it might be because you’re jealous of all the attention I’ve been giving to Joe.’

I wanted to tell her that Tasha was wrong, I wasn’t jealous, I was bloody annoyed. But of course I could only miaow and I wasn’t sure how much that conveyed.

‘Ah, Alfie, you’re still my main man.’ She tickled me affectionately. ‘But I’ll make more of an effort to ensure that you know that.’ She laughed again and I wanted to tell her that it was no joking matter.

Her phone rang as I was eating.

‘Oh, hi, Tasha, thanks for calling me back,’ she said cheerily. There was a pause. ‘No, sorry, I was going to come to book club but Joe called on my way home and he’s had a really bad day at work. I said he could come round so I can’t come tonight.’ There was another pause. ‘No, of course I’m not putting him before friends, but he sounded so dejected. Apparently a client has complained about him. It’s awful.’ Another pause. ‘Oh thanks for being so understanding, let’s have a drink tomorrow night, I promise I won’t cancel on you.’

I was angry with Tasha then; why was she understanding? Why did Claire have to put this awful man before all of us? I blamed him for my near drowning experience, after all he’d thrown me out that morning.

By the time Joe arrived, Claire had changed her clothes, put on more make-up and tidied the already spotless house.

‘Hello, you,’ she said, giving him a warm hug.

‘Have you got any beer?’ he asked, without returning the hug or even saying hello.

‘Yes, I got some in for you, I’ll get you one.’ She looked puzzled and hurt. I heard warning bells again. He wasn’t as nice to her as he had been when he first started coming round. Not only did he not like me, but now he was acting as if he didn’t like her either. This wasn’t the sort of man I wanted for my Claire. I felt suddenly fearful that this was about more than my fragile ego. He sat himself down on the sofa and flicked the TV on with the remote control. Claire brought him his drink and sat next to him.

‘So, do you want to talk about it?’ she asked, tentatively.

‘Actually I want to watch the football. It’s about to start. Have you made dinner?’

‘No, I was going to book club before you called, so I don’t have anything in.’

‘OK, well why don’t you order us a Chinese?’

‘Oh, OK. What do you want?’ She sounded hurt by his coldness and I felt hurt for her. He hadn’t said please or thank you or anything.

‘Spare ribs, sweet and sour pork and egg fried rice.’ He went back to watching the TV screen and Claire left the room. I followed her as she went into the kitchen and opened a drawer to take out a takeaway menu. I rubbed her legs.

‘He’s only like this because he’s worried about work,’ she whispered, and I made a hissing sound in response. He was like this because he was horrible. I was being proved right. I had known that he was rotten when I first met him. I had a cat’s instinct about him and that was never wrong.

Everything was a pretence with him; pretending to like me and pretending to be nice to Claire. Now he was shedding his niceness. It seemed Claire was not good at choosing men, although she had struck lucky with me of course. But then Claire didn’t know my main rule in life; never trust a person who doesn’t like cats.

I wanted to see Jonathan but I didn’t want to leave Claire in such a vulnerable position. I had a feeling she would need me more than ever. I could see she was shaken and confused as she waited for the takeaway, sitting next to Joe in silence. When it arrived, he didn’t move or offer to pay, leaving her to pay for it and dish it out onto plates.

‘Are you going to come and eat?’ she asked, as she put everything on the table.

‘I’m watching the match, can’t I eat it here?’ he snapped.

She looked at him with very sad eyes.

‘I really don’t like eating on the sofa,’ she said, again, sounding timid. ‘You can see the TV from here.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ he shouted, aggressively. Claire jumped. I stretched myself up as tall as I could and hissed at him.

‘Don’t you hiss at me,’ he said, standing up. Claire looked lost but I wasn’t scared. I spat at him and hissed again.

‘You flea-ridden, mangy ball of fur,’ he shouted, looking as if he fancied killing me. I recoiled into a ball, and yowled in fear.

‘Joe, what the hell do you think you’re doing, shouting at Alfie like that?’ Claire said. Her voice was quiet, but strong. Joe looked at her. I could see he was working out his next move.

‘Sorry,’ he said, as if he didn’t really mean it. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have. Sorry, Alfie. I’d never hurt him you know. It’s just work, it’s hell. Oh Claire, I’m sorry. Let’s go and eat dinner. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’

She looked unsure but she followed him and they sat down together. He reached over and took her hand.

‘I’m so sorry, really I am, darling,’ he said. I could practically see his insincerity.

‘It’s OK. But will you talk to me? What happened at work?’

‘This client of mine made a big mistake on his account. He got the budget for his campaign totally wrong, so when we went to bill them, he went mad, and then to cover his tracks he’s trying to blame me.’

‘That’s awful,’ Claire said.

‘The problem is that it’s a good client and they’re threatening to take their business away. So I have to be the fall guy in the eyes of the agency. They’ve suspended me, pending an investigation, blah, blah, blah.’

‘But the truth will come out?’ Claire looked so worried.

‘Of course, it’ll be fine, it’s just politics, but in the meantime I’ve been told not to come back for the next week. I mean, how humiliating!’

‘I do understand, hon, and you know I’ll support you.’

‘I really am sorry and I do appreciate you, you know.’ Joe smiled. His charming façade was back on his face and Claire lapped it up as if he was a saucer of cream.

I wanted to scream at her, trying to make her understand that he was full of rubbish. I could imagine the support he would want; lots more free Chinese takeaways, lots of watching football whilst being handed beers; I had heard about this kind of man before.

My cat instincts told me that Joe was the cause of the problem at work. It was definitely his fault and more than ever, I realised that he wasn’t good enough, no way near good enough, for my Claire.