Alice: The Girl From Earth

Chapter One Alice The Criminal!

I had promised Alice: “When you get a pass out of second grade I’ll take you along on the Summer expedition. We’ll be flying on the Pegasus to collect exotic and rare animals for the Zoo.”

I had said that back in winter, right after New Year, but right at the same time I posted certain conditions: she had to study hard, do not do anything really stupid, and under no circumstances was she to have any ‘adventures.’

Alice worked hard at carrying out her terms of the bargain, and it looked like there would ne nothing to threaten our plans. But in May, just about a month before our departure date, certain events transpired which almost wrecked everything.

On that day I was working at home, writing an article for Cosmozoology Courier. Through my study’s open door I saw my daughter enter the house on her return from school, downcast and gloomy, throw the bag with her bookreader down with a crash on the table, refuse her dinner and pick up not the book that had been her constant companion for the last three months Animals of Distant Planets but instead grab for The Three Musketeers.

“Are you having difficulties?” I asked.

“Nothing in particular.” Alice answered. “How’d you guess?”

“It showed.”

Alice thought a while, put the book back down and asked:

“Dad, do you have any gold nuggets hanging around?”

“Just how much gold do you need?”

“About a kilogram and a half.”

“Nope.”

“Do you have less than that?”

“Do be honest, I don’t have any less than that at all. None whatsoever. What’s it good for?”

“I don’t know.” Alice said. “I just need it.”

I came out of my study, sat down on the divan beside Alice, and said:

“I think you’d better tell me just what it is you’ve gotten into.”

“Nothing special. I just need the gold.”

“And if you were to be totally honest with me….”

Alice took a long and painful sigh, looked out the window, and finally came clean:

“Dad, I’m a criminal.”

“A criminal?”

“I committed a robbery, and now they are going to kick me out of school for sure.”

“Too bad.” I said. “But continue. It might be that everything isn’t quite so terrible as it was when you looked at the problem first glance.”

“Okay. Well, in general, Alesha Naumov and I decided to catch the giant pike. It lives in the Ikshinsky reservoir and devours the fry. One of the fishermen there told us about it. You don’t know him.”

“And for this you need gold ore?”

“For a fish lure.

“My whole class talked it all over and decided we would need a lure to catch the pike. Ordinary pike you catch with simple lure, but a giant pike would need as really special lure to catch it. And we have a big piece of gold in the school museum. Or we had. It weighed a kilogram and a half. One of our graduates gave it to the school; he found it in the asteroid belt.”

“And you stole gold ore weighing a kilogram and a half?”

“It really wasn’t like that, Dad. We were just taking in on loan. Leva Zvansky said that his father was a geologist and could get us a new one. And so we decided to make lures out of gold. The giant pike wold be sure to fall for a lure like that.”

“Is that all?”

“Nothing much else happened, Dad. The other kids were afraid to open the display case so we drew straws and I wouldn’t have ever taken it if I hadn’t drawed the shortest straw.”

“Drawn.”

“What?”

“To draw straws. Past participle ‘drawn.’ I draw, I drew, I have drawn, I had drawn.”

“Oh, yeah. So I drew the shortest straw and there was now way I could go back on my word to the other kids. All the more so since no one was going to miss that piece it just sat and sat in the museum…”

“And then?”

“And then we took it to Alesha Naumov, who got a laser and cut the darned gold nugget into lots of small pieces. And then we went to the Ikshinsky reservoir and the pike took our bait.”

Alice thought it over a moment, and she added:

“Or maybe it wasn’t the giant pike. Maybe it was a snag on a dead tree. The lure we made was very heavy. We searched for it and we never found it. We all took turns diving for it.”

“And your crime was discovered?

“Yes, because Zvansky was a liar. He brought a handful of diamonds from home and said there wasn’t a bit of gold to be had. We sent him back home with his diamonds. As if we needed diamonds! And when Elena Alexandrovna came by and said: ‘Kids, open up the museum; I’ll be taking the first graders on their tour. Talk about bad timing! So everything was discovered. And she went running to the headmistress: “Danger,” she says (we were listening under the door) “The past has come alive in someone’s blood!” Alesha Naumov did promise to take all the blame on himself, but I didn’t let him. I drew the straw, so they hang me. And that’s everything.”

“And that’s all?” I was amazed. “And you’ve `fessed up to it?”

“I haven’t had a chance yet.” Alice said. “They gave us all until tomorrow. Elena said that either the gold nugget is in place or we will be having a ‘serious conversation.’ That means that tomorrow they’re going to take us out of the races and maybe even expel me from school when I do ‘fess up.”

“What races?”

“Tomorrow is the big air bladder races. For the school championships. My class’s team is Alesha, me, and Egorov. And there’s no way they’ll let Egorov fly alone.”

“And haven’t you forgotten one further complication?” I said.

“What complication.” Alice asked with a tone in her voice that told me she knew perfectly well which one.

“You have failed to live up to our agreement.”

“Yes I did.” Alice agreed. “But it was done in a good cause.”

“It was? You stole a gold nugget in the weight of a kilogram and a half, cut it into fish lures, lost it in the Ikshinsky Water Reservoir and you don’t even recognize what you did! A good cause indeed! I fear the Pegasus will have to leave you behind.”

“Oh, Daddy! Alice whispered. “What do I do now?”

“Think.” I said, and went back into my office to finish the paper. But writing proved difficult. Such a silly misadventure! How like small children to cut a museum exhibit to pieces with a laser!

After about an hour I looked outside my office. Alice was nowhere to be seen. She had run off some where. I went back inside and punched out the number of Friedman at the Mineralogical Museum; we’d met long before when our expeditions had crossed in the Pamir Mountains.

His round face and black moustache filled the videophone screen.

“Lenny,” I said, “Do you by any chance have any gold nuggets weighing about a kilogram and half in stock?”

“I’d say I have at least five kilos. What do you need it for? For work?”

“No. It’s needed at home.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Lenny answered, curling one long moustache end around a finger. “They’re all on the account books.”

“And I need the most worthless.” I said. “Or rather, my daughter needs it for school.”

“Alice?”

“Alice.”

“Then you know what,” Friedman said, “I’ll give you the gold. Or rather, not to you, but to Alice. And you can pay me back with a favor in return.”

“With pleasure.”

“Loan me one of your Centaurian Blue Leopards for one day.”

“What?”

“Your Blue Leopard. We are infested with mice.”

“They go after the stones?”

“I don’t know what it is they are eating, but the Pied Piper would be hard pressed to keep up with them. And they do not fear the cat. And they get away from the robot mousecatchers and ignore the old style mousetraps. But the smell and sight of a Blue Leopard sends mice running until they can’t go any further. Now, what am I to do? A Blue Leopard is a rare and exotic animal, and I need someone who can bring it to the Museum and make certain it doesn’t eat anyone. Other than mice, of course.”

“Okay.” I said. “Just send the gold nugget by the morning, by pneumopost.”

I hung up the videophone and immediately heard a knock on the door. I opened it. Before our door stood a fair haired little boy in the orange costume of a Venusian terraformer, with the emblem of first Expedition to the Sirius system on his sleeve.

“Pardon me.” He said. “Are you Alice’s dad?”

“I am.”

“Hello. My name is Egorov. Is Alice at home.”

“No. She went off somewhere.”

“Too bad. Can you be trusted?”

“Me? Oh, of course!”

“Then I have to have a man to man conversation with you.”

“Not Astronaut to Astronaut?”

“Don’t laugh.” Egorov flushed red. “I plan to earn my wings some day.”

“I don’t doubt you will.” I said. “So how about the man to man conversation?”

“Alice and I are in the airbladder race tomorrow, only something has happened that might cause them to pull her off the team. To put it generally, she has to return something that was lost to the school. I’m giving this to you., but I don’t want you to say who it from. Is that clear?”

“Very clear, o mysterious and unknown stranger.” I said.

“Take it.”

He held out a small bag to me. The bag was very heavy.

“Gold, by any chance?” I asked.

“So you know?”

“I know.”

“It is.”

“I trust it was come by legitimately.”

“Of course it was! What do you think I am? I got it while camping in the mountains. Well, good bye.”

I hadn’t yet managed to reach my seat when the door bell rang again. I found two small girls on our doorstep.

“Hello.” They said in chorus. “We’re from the first grade. Take this for Alice.”

They handed me two individual purses and ran off. In one purse lay four gold coins, very old coins from someone’s collection. In another, three tea spoons. The tea spoons it turned out were not, in fact, gold; they were platinum. Yet another piece of gold arrived in a box in the evening mail from another unknown wellwisher. Then Leva Zvansky dropped by and tried to foist on me a small casket with diamonds. After he left an member of the 8th Grade class came by; he brought along three tiny gold nuggets.

“I collected them back when I was a kid.” He said.

Alice returned toward evening. She shouted happily from the door:

“Papa! There’s nothing to worry about. Everything worked out. I can go with you on the expedition.”

“Why such a change.” I asked.

“Because I found a replacement.” Alice was scarcely able to drag the Mother Load of gold ore out of her bag. It appeared to be about six or seven kilograms.

“I went to see Captain Poloskov. I told him the problem and he called around to everyone he knew. He also fed me supper, so I’m not hungry.”

Then Alice caught sight of the gold nuggets and other gold and platinum objects that had accumulated in our house over the course of the day, which I had spread out on the dinner table.

“Oh my!” She said. “The museum is making out like space pirates.”

“Listen to me, my fine young criminal.” I said to her. “I would, under no circumstances, be taking you along on this expedition were it not for your friends.”

“And why, because of my friends?”

“Because they would hardly have run all over Moscow searching for gold objects for a really bad person.”

“But I’m not such a bad person.” Alice said without the slightest hint of modesty.

I frowned, but at that moment there was a ka-chunk in the wall slot indicating the arrival of a package via the pneumatic tube postal system. I opened the wall slot and pulled out the package with gold in it from the Mineralogical Museum. Friedman had completed his part of the bargain.

“And this is from me.” I added it to the pile.

“So you see,” Alice said, “you’re my friend too.”

“It would appear so.” I answered. “But I suggest you not be presumptuous.”

The next morning I had to accompany Alice to school, as the weight of the gold objects that had accumulated in our apartment had reached seventeen kilograms.

Handing her the bag at the entrance to the school I said,

“I quite forgot about your punishment.”

“About what?”

“On Sunday you will be taking the Zoo’s Centaurian Blue Leopard on a trip to the Mineralogical Museum.”

“Take the Blue Leopard to the Museum? But he’s too… too stupid!”

“Yes. He’ll be there to scare the mice. And you’ll be there to see he doesn’t frighten anyone else.”

“Agreed.” Alice said. “And we are going on the expedition.”