Alice: The Girl From Earth

4

All the following day Gromozeka rushed around Moscow, flew to Prague, called back and forth to the Moon constantly, acquired ships, negotiated about freight and cargo space and only in the evening arrived back at our house. On this occasion he came without flowers, not but alone.

Gromozeka brought with him two temporalists, as the researchers at the Institute of Time were known. One temporalist was young, lanky, and very lean, and perhaps because of that appeared rather morose. He had thick, kinky black hair in an Afro, and Gromozeka, astonished that such thing creatures could even exist, spent all his time poking and prodding at the poor fellow with the claw at the end of one tentacle. The second temporalist was a short, thickset, middle aged man with small, penetrating grey eyes. From time to time he hiccoughed; he was dressed in the latest fashion.

“Petrov.” He introduced himself. “M-micael Petrov. I’m project director. But it will be Richard here who will actually operate the machine.”

“Of course, of course.” I said. The name of this famous physicist, who had discovered temporal changes in superstring plasma, and who had then went on to head the Time Institute, was one very familiar to me. “I am delighted you could come here.”

“Is there some holiday or celebration.” Petrov asked. “A birth day, p-perhaps? I’m sorry; if we had known I’d have brought something..”

“No, no celebration.” I said. “Our friend Gromozeka brought some flowers yesterday. And as Gromozeka never does anything at less than ten thousand percent he just cleared out an entire flower nursery.”

“Do sit down.” Gromozeka said. “Have some Ex-Lax and we can talk.”

He reached inside the deep pouch which grows on the belly of all Chumaroseans and pulled out a bottle of Ex-Lax, several kinds of crackers, cheeses and dips, as well as some bottles of wine for the rest of us.

“So,” he said, spreading out on the rug and surrounding all of us with his tentacles, as though we were afraid we might all run screaming in every direction, “We now have ships, the agreement of the Academy of Sciences for your expedition into space, and we will soon be testing your machine. Are you happy?”

“Thank you.” Petrov said politely. “Your invitation was…most kind.”

“Ah,” Gromozeka said mortified, turning to me, “in reality he is anything but happy. And do you know why? Because he wanted to spend time on Chud lake.”

“Chudskoe.” Alice corrected Gromozeka.

Gromozeka ignored her.

“He wanted to go to Chudskoe lake because he knew what was awaiting him there in the past. As many times as he might venture there and then, nothing will change the fact that Alexander….. Nevsky defeated the Tattletonic Knights. But on Coleida we do not know, with certainty, how everything came about. And what if the planet died not from Space Plague but from something else?”

“If you are trying to imply cowardice on our parts,” Richard grew angry, “try somewhere else. You have no idea what sort of risks are associated with working out-time. Our people have tried to save Giordano Bruno from the fire, they have infiltrated the Crusades and Fascist camps, sharing the danger and misfortune, and sometimes fates, of the peoples of other times…”

“Don’t get angry, Richard.” Petrov said. “Can’t you see that Gromozeka is trying to tease you? And you took the bait.”

“But I am teasing no one!” Gromozeka grew agitated. “I am a very direct and naive archaeologist.”

What Gromozeka said was anything but the truth. In reality he was not devoid of spite himself, and he was afraid the temporalists would somehow get out of going to the archaeological dig and that all his dreams would turn to dust.

“Don’t be afraid, Gromozeka.” Petrov said suddenly. “If the Time Institute promised you the exp-perimental model of the time machine would be tested at your expedition, it will be.” He was a very perceptive person.

“Now that is superb!” Gromozeka answered. “Of course I don’t doubt it. Otherwise I would never have introduced you to my best friends, Professor Seleznev and his famous daughter Alice, about whom you know far too little, although you will soon have the opportunity to become more fully acquainted with her.”

“And why will they? Become acquainted, I mean?” I asked.

“Because I have conceived the perfect gift for your daughter’s birthday, Professor.” Gromozeka answered.

“And what is that?”

“We’ll take her with us to Coleida?”

“When? Now?”

“Of course, certainly, now.”

“But Alice has to go to school.”

“Tomorrow I’ll go myself to visit your school and have a word with the teacher. She will certainly let her go for several days.”

“Oh!” Alice said, “Thanks a lot! But just don’t walk into the school yourself.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because Elena, my teacher, she’s really nervous and afraid of spiders and mice and other critters.”

“And in what way am I like unto them?” Gromozeka thundered.

“You’re not.” Alice hurried to answer. “But she’d really be afraid of you a little. Not so much for herself but for me. She’s say that she was afraid to let me go… that is not so much with you as with what you are; just don’t get angry Gromozeka…”

“I understand it all.” My friend said sadly. “It’s perfectly obvious. You, dear child, have fallen into the hands of a cruel and terrible woman. You fear what she might threaten me, your friend, with evil…”

“No, you don’t quite understand…”

“I understand everything. Professor!”

“What?” I asked and tried to hold back the grin on my face.

“You must immediately remove your child from that school. They are torturing her. If you do not do it I shall go there myself tomorrow and save Alice myself.”

“Alice is perfectly capable of saving herself.” I said. “Don’t have any fears for her sake. Now, how many days do you propose to take her for?”

“A mere thirty or forty.” Gromozeka said.

“No. Don’t even think of it.”

“Then for twenty-seven days.”

“Why twenty-seven.”

“Because the two of us are bargaining and you have already gotten me to back down two days. Your move.”

The temporalists were laughing.

“I had no idea that space archaeologists were so….” Richard said.

“But I am not prepared to bargain with you on this.” I told Gromozeka. “You really must understand that earth children have to go to school.”

“To such a monster like the foul Elena, who tortures mice and spiders? Who would have attacked me, if not for Alice’s timely warning?”

“Yes to the monster, to the charming, pleasant and intelligent woman, my thick skinned egoist friend.”

“P-please do not argue.” Petrov said. “When does Alice’s term break start?”

“In five days.” Alice said.

“How long is it?”

“One week.”

“That’s just p-perfect. Send your daughter with us for the term break week. There is certainly no way we will be able to finish loading before Alice’s break starts.”

“Stop!” Gromozeka fumed. “I have yet to finish my bargain with the Professor. Let your daughter go for twenty-six days.”

“No.”

“For twenty-two.”

“Not on our life.”

“You are a hard man, Seleznev. Not even my little bouquet of flowers yesterday can move you. Eighteen days, and not a minute less.”

“Why for so long?”

“The flight there takes two day. Then two days return. And two weeks on the planet.”

“Okay.” I said. Four days travel time, five days on Coleida, and one day for a fudge factor. Ten days in all. I will go to the school myself and ask for Alice to be permitted to return from break three days late. And not another word on the matter.”

“Alas.” Gromozeka agreed. “But the ship might be delayed en route. What if it has to avoid a meteorite swarm?”

“I will not hold meteorite swarms, novas, or other natural disasters against you.”

“Alice,” Gromozeka turned toward my daughter. “You understand it all? You’ll get the instructions from me tomorrow. But now, my dear temporalists, I must tell you how lucky we were that this cruel Professor has agreed to send is marvelous daughter with us. Hear my recounting of the story of how Alice found the Three Captains and saved the Galaxy from the space pirates.”

And Gromozeka set about to detail for the temporalists our flight in the Pegasus in search of exotic and rare extraterrestrial animals, and how we found the Second Captain. His retelling was so far from the truth that I did not bother to interrupt and correct Gromozeka but just told Petrov and Richard:

“Scale it all back about ten times. And you, Alice, go to your desk and do your lessons, or else you’ll end up believing Gromozeka’s tales of your own feats of daring do.”

“I haven’t yet begun to do daring do, Papa.” Alice said, but she behaved herself. “Good night. I have my homework to do. I’ll see you in space.”

When Gromozeka finished his story of Alice’s Labors the temporalists began to discuss their own work on Coleida, what else they would need to take to Coleida, and did not depart until after midnight.

And when I was going to bed I asked Gromozeka:

“Tell me, you old scoundrel; why did you insist that Alice go along?”

“A mere trifle; I thought it would be good for the child…” Gromozeka said.

“I do not believe you. But as to what I can do…”

“I will look after her myself.” Gromozeka said, making himself comfortable and turning into a large shining sphere. “Not one little golden hair will be missing from her beautiful little head when she returns.”

And four days later the ships with the disassembled time machine aboard took off from Earth and headed toward Coleida. Alice went with Gromozeka on the first ship. As to what happened on that planet, I only learned two weeks later, when Alice got back. What happened is this…