Almost Perfect

Chapter 13

Nothing comes without a price, so don't whine when the bill arrives.

– How to Have a Perfect Life

The days that followed were filled with glitter. Literally. Maddy marveled at the younger girls' obsession with sprinkling bits of silver, gold, hot pink, and electric blue onto acres of glue, gleefully spilling it onto tables, chairs, and the floor like mad little fairies, then tracking it outside, and down the mountain until the trail to the Craft Shack positively glistened.

But more than the days, it was Maddy's nights that truly sparkled, nights in which Joe waited until taps played over the loudspeaker, then followed that glittering trail up the mountain under cover of dark. Their nights together shone with laughter and passion.

Oh, they were very discreet during the day. They never allowed their gazes to linger. Too long. They didn't exchange silly grins. Too often. And if they had to talk about camp business, she managed not to blush with memories of the night before while he kept thoughts of the night to come from shining in his eyes. Most of the time.

Yet, on the day that Maddy returned to the camp after taking her newest pieces to the gallery, she knew she wouldn't be able to wait until nightfall to see Joe. Happiness bubbled inside her as she parked before the office. She bounded into the front room, hoping to find Joe alone. Instead, she found Carol sitting behind the desk.

"You're back." Carol looked up from the computer screen. "And you're smiling, so I assume things went well."

"What?" Maddy pulled up in surprise.

"Joe mentioned you were taking your artwork to a gallery in town. So, how'd it go?"

"It went great! Fabulous, in fact." She refrained from bursting into giddy laughter as she marked down the time of her return on the sign-out sheet.

"Well?" Carol prompted. "Tell, tell."

Smiling, she shook her head, wanting Joe to be the first to hear her news. "It's too much. I'll give you the details at dinner. So, um, is Joe around? I'd like to let him know I'm back."

"He's in his apartment." Carol pointed her thumb over her shoulder toward the almost closed door. "On the phone… like he's been all day."

"Oh." Maddy glanced at the door and felt her cheeks heat knowing he was right on the other side. In his private apartment. Which she'd never seen but felt certain had a bed. Although, with the way things had been between them the last few days, a floor, a wall, or a countertop and ten minutes of privacy would do.

Her cheeks flamed hotter as she searched for an excuse to get rid of Carol, go through that door, and lock it behind her. Unfortunately, her brain cells were too scrambled lately to function properly.

"Well." Flustered, she motioned toward the door to the parking lot. "I guess I'll… see you at dinner."

"No, wait," Carol said. "Why don't you poke your head in the apartment? Tell Joe you're here?"

Maddy laughed, which was a silly response.

"Besides"-Carol rose, straightening papers-"I have some, um, things I need to do. Yes. Things. So I actually need you to tell Joe I'll be gone for a while."

"A while?" Maddy struggled to keep the leap of excitement from showing on her face. "How long a while?"

"An hour?" Carol asked, then quickly dropped her voice to remove the question mark. "I mean, an hour. At least." Blushing, she headed for the back door. "Well, gotta run. You two have fun." With a little snicker, she disappeared.

Have fun? Maddy's mouth dropped open, and then she laughed. Oh man, she and Joe were so busted! And after being so careful. How had Carol figured it out? Did any of the others know? Did Joe's mother know? Okay, Mama would probably be happy, but still, she found it mildly embarrassing and highly amusing that they'd gone to such lengths to be discreet.

Shaking her head, she looked at the door. Joe's voice drifted out, a low, sexy rumble. She moved closer, eased the door open, and peeked inside. She saw a tastefully decorated room done in natural colors, from dark brown to pale beige with a few splashes of earthy red. The louvered shutters were tilted to allow privacy but still let in sunlight. Two big leather chairs sat before the windows, Hanked by wooden bookshelves that held his collection of pueblo pottery, kachinas, and art books. As for framed art, he hadn't exaggerated when he told Juanita he had no wall space left. His taste ran toward domestic pueblo scenes, homey, peaceful images.

"Sounds like we're nearly good to go." His voice drew her attention the other direction. Peeking around the door, she found him standing with his back to her, talking on a cordless phone while washing dishes in a kitchenette that was only slightly larger than hers.

Curious, she scanned the room again and found a door directly across from her that stood open enough for her to make out the foot of a sturdy-looking bed. The bedspread echoed the patterns of the Navajo rug that covered the floor.

Excellent taste, she thought.

Joe turned with the phone pressed between his shoulder and ear. He froze when he saw her. Then smiled. "Hey, look, I need to let you go. Call me back when you know for sure." He hung up and faced her fully. "You're back."

"I am." She started to return his smile, but a mischievous imp took hold and she scowled instead. "And I have bad news."

"What?" Concern registered on his face.

"I'm afraid they're on to us. Carol, for sure. Maybe the others." She shook her head gravely. "I think they know we're"-she wiggled her brows- "you know."

"Sneaking around? No!" He feigned shock, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "Maddy, I'm fairly certain a blind monkey could figure out I've got the hots for you so bad I can barely see straight."

"You don't have to whisper," she whispered back. "We're alone."

"We are?" His face lit up.

"Carol just left to do some 'things,' assuring me she'd be gone 'at least an hour.' "

"Oh really?" The interest deepened as he came toward her, moving with a slow, predatory step. "Remind me to add a big bonus to her paycheck."

"You're not upset?" He didn't look upset. In fact, he looked like a panther spying a nice, juicy steak. She backed up a step, then two, toward the sitting area.

"Why would I be upset?" He closed and locked the door as he passed it.

"I thought you didn't want people to know." She held a hand up, continuing backward. Fantasizing about jumping Joe in his apartment in the middle of the day was one thing-but the reality was a camp full of people just beyond the windows. "You've been so circumspect."

"Well, I'm hardly going to flaunt the fact that we're doing the wild thing in front of the campers and counselors, but no, I don't mind if the coordinators know. All of them are old enough that I think it's a safe bet to say they've discovered sex. Now, come here."

He took her hand and tugged her forward so fast she fell against his chest. Before she could think, she was in his arms and he was kissing her-a slow, deep, sweet kiss that went on and on until her knees were weak.

Then he lifted his head and caressed her cheek. "I missed you today."

A glowing happiness filled her as she smiled up at him. "You saw me just last night."

"That was forever ago." His head started to lower.

Laughing, she rose up to meet him, but pulled back at the last instant. "Oh! I have news."

"It can wait."

"No, I have news. Big news!"

"Let me guess." He nibbled her neck. "Sylvia loved your work and wants to do the prints she talked about."

"Yes!"

"Maddy, I hate to tell you, but that is not news. Now, about that hour of privacy we have…" Without warning, he bent down and hefted her over his shoulder.

"Joe! What are you doing?" she shrieked as he headed for the bedroom. He tossed her playfully onto the mattress, then climbed on after her. "Wait." She placed a hand against his rock-hard chest to keep him from kissing her again. "It's more than just them wanting to do prints. They have a show-scheduled in a couple of weeks to launch their fall catalog."

"And?" He traced her jaw with kisses.

She took his face in both her hands to get his attention. "They want to include me in the show."

"Makes sense." Brushing her hair back, he went for her ear.

The tip of his tongue traced the shell, sending a delicious shiver all the way to her toes. "Mmm, that feels good." What had she been saying? Oh

Plus I had you. Then I won that scholarship, and everything changed. Everyone turned against me. They hated me."

"Okay, Maddy, first of all, you're not in high school anymore. Back then, we ran with a crowd of losers, most of whom were doing or dealing drugs. So of course they grew distrustful when they found out you weren't really one of them. You had goals and dreams they couldn't understand, and you were actually going after them."

"It isn't going after your dreams that makes people resent you, it's having your dreams come true without paying a price."

"No, it's pursuing them behind people's back." Anger flared in his voice.

She bit her lip, watching as his face hardened.

Exhaling in a gust, he looked away. "I'm sorry.

I didn't mean-" He turned back to her, calm now but intense. "Maddy, you are meant for great things. I think I've always sensed that about you.

You have so much talent. So much… life inside you. I think that's what drew me to you then and now." His hand tightened on hers. "Don't hold yourself back because of what people think. Who cares what people think?"

"I care! I like people. I don't want to hurt them."

"Hurt them?"

"Yes. It's like with Tammy Andersen."

"Tammy who?"

"Andersen. We had several art classes together in high school, and she was really good." He still looked blank, so she smirked. "A lot of the kids called her Tammy the Toad."

"Ah, yes. I remember. The girl who had no neck."

"Of all the friends who turned against me, she was the one who hurt the worst. I didn't know until later that she'd applied for the same scholarship- because I'd told her about it. I'd told her how'good she was and encouraged her to show her work. So she applied. And I beat her out. After that, she would never look me in the eye when we talked. She wasn't openly ugly to me, like some of our friends were, but I felt like I'd run over her cat and had no idea how to tell her I was sorry."

"Maddy…" He let out a scoffing breath. "Screw sorry. She was jealous. That was her problem."

She pulled back, aghast. "That is so cruel. And you aren't a cruel person. Normally."

"Life is cruel."

"Oh yes, let's be glib. 'Life is cruel.' That may be true, but I don't have to add to it."

"What, by succeeding? By knowing what you want and going after it? And when I said that was her problem, I meant she wasn't your friend if she let that get between you. You cared enough to encourage her, and she got miffed over your success rather than cheering you on? Definitely screw sorry."

"I just…"

"What?"

"I want everyone to succeed."

"I know." He caressed her cheek. "That's part of your magic."

"What am I going to do?" She turned fully toward him. "I want to grab on to this, but it's so big, and I don't know if I'm ready. Plus, I've made friends here, and I don't want to alienate them."

"Who, Carol and the others?"

And you, she thought.

He studied her a long moment, then moved off the bed to prowl the room. "I don't understand why your friendship with the staff here should hold you back. This is a summer job for you. Your main objective in coming here was to check out the galleries. The coordinators are barely more than acquaintances to you. Temporary friends. When the summer is over, you'll get on with your real lift-back in Austin." He turned back to her. "Right?"

What was he saying? Was he asking if she had any interest in staying? Before she could ask, the phone in the other room rang.

He glanced toward the sound, then mumbled something about needing to get the call.

She sat, wondering for the thousandth time what was going on between them. She knew she wanted more, but how much more? And what did he want? Perhaps it was time to build up the courage to ask.

She rose on shaky legs and moved to the doorway. Listening absently at first, then with growing interest as she realized he was talking to Derrick, his Ranger buddy, about starting the boot camp he'd mentioned. By the time he hung up, she was staring at him in disbelief.

"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.

"You're going ahead with your plans for the boot camp."

"Yeah." He shrugged as if it were no big deal. "I talked it over with Mom, and she insisted she'd be fine with it."

"When?"

"A few days ago?"

"And you didn't think about sharing that with me?"

That internal wall he'd perfected rose up in an instant, blocking her out.

She flung an arm toward the bedroom. "You just chastised me for not sharing my dreams with you fifteen years ago, and now you're pursuing this behind my back?"

"It wasn't 'behind your back.' I told you I was thinking about it."

"But not that you were going through with it."

"This has nothing to do with us." He headed for the refrigerator and pulled out a can of cola.

"I told you I'd help-"

"I don't want you to help!" He whirled to face her, his expression so hard, hurt struck her chest. He turned back to the counter, popped the can open. "You're leaving at the end of summer, remember?" He glanced back at her, but only briefly. "Why waste what time we have together talking about business plans?"

"Because this is your dream. And you weren't going to share it with me… even though we're sleeping together."

"One has nothing to do with the other."

"Oh, well, excuse me for confusing sex with intimacy."

"Maddy, don't do this." He sighed heavily. "We're barely feeling our way along as it is. The past doesn't disappear just because we're getting along in the present."

She stared at him. "You said love was something that didn't have to be earned. It either is or it isn't. What about forgiveness? Does that have to be earned? If so, give me a task. Tell me what to do. How do I earn your trust if you're not willing to give me a chance?"

"What exactly are you asking for here? Do you even know what you want out of this thing between us?" Exasperation hardened his face. "Don't jack with me, Maddy! You can't come out here for one flippin' summer and expect me to jump right back into a serious relationship."

"What is it you want from this 'thing between us'?"

"Stop-" He took several deep breaths, but when he looked at her, his eyes blazed. "I took a blind leap for you once and fell flat on my face. Don't ask me to do it again. I prefer to take things slower these days."

"Apparently!" Her anger ignited. "You're only willing to jump off the high board when it's something you really want. I guess I don't meet that criteria." She started to storm out, but whirled back. "You want to take things slowly? All right. No problem. In fact, I think we should take things very slowly. As in, I need to be in your life more before I share my body with you again. Because until you're willing to share something of yourself, that's just a little too personal for me." She strode toward the door.

"Maddy…"

"Forget it, Joe. I realize you're worried about getting hurt. Well, join the club. We're all worried about getting hurt. That's part of being alive. When and if you decide to share something more than sex, let me know."