Almost Perfect

Chapter 18

It's true what they say: Time flies when you're having fun. -How to Have a Perfect Life

Stretching languidly, Maddy came slowly awake, then went still as she realized this was not her bed. And she was not alone. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Joe lying behind her, sound asleep. Even with his hair mussed, he looked as handsome as ever. Maybe even more so with the muscles in his face-normally so tense-relaxed in sleep.

Fascinated, she rolled carefully toward him and propped her head on her hand. A smile of pure contentment welled up from deep inside her as she watched him.

In the week since the art show, she'd spent quite a bit of time in Joe's bed, but this was the first time she'd stayed until morning. Actually, it was the first time in her entire life she'd stayed with him until sunrise.

What would it be like to wake up with him every morning for the rest of her life? She expected the question to scare her. Instead, a sense of Tightness settled over her.

Love filled her. Warm and vibrant and glowing. And she had her answer.

I want to spend my life with you.

He woke suddenly, startling her with his abrupt switch from sound sleep to full alertness. After a quick glance about, he let his head drop back onto his pillow and his body relaxed. He smiled up at her, all sleepy aad rumpled and sexy. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She grinned. "You certainly wake up fast."

"Must have been the noise." He gathered her against him, positioning her until she lay with her head on his shoulder and her legs tangled with his.

"What noise?" She listened for something besides the bird singing in the cactus outside his bedroom window. The first session of camp had ended yesterday, leaving the camp almost eerily empty. "I don't hear anything."

"Exactly." His lips curved against her forehead. "Silence. One whole week with no screaming."

She felt a little pang in her heart as she remem-bered the closing day ceremonies and the last campfire followed by a day of loading buses and emotional good-byes. After the buses cleared out, the coordinators and counselors left as well for their own week off. Other than Mama and Harold, Maddy and Joe had the place to themselves. "You know, I think I miss Kaylee and Amanda already."

"Yeah, me too." He yawned. "But they'll be back next year."

Yes, but will I? She bit her lip to hold back the words. By some silent agreement, they never talked about the future in personal terms.

"Besides," he added, "we have another crop of little monsters arriving next week."

"Well, there's a cheerful thought." She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. The covers fell to her waist and cool morning air brushed her skin. "How about some coffee?"

"I'd rather have you." He ran a finger down her spine.

She glanced over her shoulder. The covers had slipped to his waist as well, leaving his whole gorgeous torso bare. He tucked an arm behind his head as he lowered his eyelids with promises of sensual pleasure.

Unfortunately, her gaze moved to the clock on the nightstand and she remembered all she had to do that day.

"Tempting." She laughed. "But I need caffeine."

Climbing out of bed, she gathered the clothes she'd left lying on the floor and headed for the bathroom. Once there, she found a denim shirt hanging on the back of the door that would make a perfect bathrobe.

She ducked her head back into the bedroom. "Do you mind if I borrow this?"

"No. I put it there for you."

"Oh." That drew her up short. He was always doing stuff like that. Stocking his refrigerator with the kind of cola she liked. Buying flavored potato chips when he liked them plain. And now a shirt for her to use as a bathrobe, when they hadn't actually discussed her staying the whole night. She'd simply fallen asleep, and he hadn't woken her.

She pulled back into the bathroom, wondering if these were all giant hints about his feelings, or if she was reading more into them than he intended. The fact that she'd mentioned her favorite flavor of ice cream and a half gallon of caramel turtle fudge had magically appeared in his freezer was not a declaration of undying love. Was it?

The question nettled her even when she stood in the kitchenette measuring coffee grounds. She heard water running in the bathroom and knew Joe would join her shortly. For all she knew, caramel turtle fudge was his favorite flavor too and it didn't mean anything.

With the coffeepot gurgling, she stared out the window, more frustrated than ever by all the unanswered questions. Maybe she was coming to terms with what she wanted, but that didn't mean Joe had. Maybe he was still thinking short term. Somehow that made her want a future with him even more.

Since the night of the art show, they'd talked a lot about plans for the boot camp, which they were both having a ball working on. They sat in his office every evening using his computer to design brochures, business cards, and even a Web site, which was going to take a lot more work to finish. But they never talked about where their relationship was going. Or what would happen when summer camp ended.

A dozen times at least, she'd started to tell him she loved him, which had seemed huge enough. Now here she stood, thinking about marriage and children and a lifetime together-God willing. Her heart swelled with the knowledge that she wanted all the things she'd rejected from him once- wanted them with a passion that made her ache to say the words aloud.

Would he believe her, though? After what he'd told her, she feared that words alone would never do it, and might even cause a setback. So, somehow, before summer camp ended, she had to find a way to show him she loved him, to make him feel secure enough about that love that when she finally said the words he would believe her.

Six weeks. Surely that would be long enough.

She was still staring out the window when Joe emerged from the bedroom.

He stopped as the sight hit him square in the chest. Morning sunlight streamed over her. She was so… Maddy, standing there barefoot with his big shirt hanging to her knees.

If he could have one wish, he decided, it would be this right here, to wake every morning for the rest of his life to find Maddy in his kitchen, bathed in sunlight.

A part of him wanted to toss his carefully laid plans out the window, to walk over there, scoop her into his arms and say, "Marry me." But impulse had been his undoing last time. He refused to repeat that mistake.

Drawing on patience, he headed toward her. "Is that coffee ready?"

She glanced over her shoulder, smiling with approval as her gaze ran over his bare chest and the sweatpants that rode low on his hips. "It just finished."

Getting down two mugs, she poured him a cup black, then went to the fridge to poke inside. "Do you have any cream?"

"In the door." He congratulated himself on snagging some from the kitchen in the dining hall yesterday when he remembered she liked her coffee doctored to the max. Attention to detail had always been his strong suit.

"Great." She backed out with the unopened carton.

He leaned a hip against the counter and took a few grateful sips of caffeine. "So, what would you say to jogging with me this morning?"

She blinked. "You're joking, right?"

"Not at all. I'll take it easy on you, and afterward we can take a dip in the river."

She faced him with a hand on one hip, which hiked the shirt higher on her thigh. "There are two problems with that idea. First, in case you haven't noticed, this body is not meant to sweat."

"I don't know." He grinned at her over the rim of the mug. "We worked up a pretty good sweat last night, and I didn't hear you complaining."

"And second," she continued, "I don't have time. I'm supposed to meet with Sylvia at the gallery this morning."

"Oh? Are you taking her more art?" He frowned as he realized he hadn't seen her work on any art all week.

"No." She turned to put the cream away. "The prints of Sunrise Canyon arrived a couple days ago. They need me to sign them."

He lowered his mug. "You didn't tell me that."

"I didn't?" She straightened. "Oh. I thought I did."

"You must be excited to see them."

"I am." She let out a nervous gust of air. "Although it feels really weird too, dashing off to spend the day signing prints of my work."

"It's not pretentious, Maddy. It's just part of the business."

"I suppose."

Since the subject made her uneasy, something he would never understand, he decided to shift the topic.

The time had come to move into Phase Two of his campaign: get Maddy to move to Santa Fe. His stomach tensed. "You know, I've been thinking…" There, that sounded good. Nice and casual. No big deal. Just knocking ideas around in my head.

"About what?" She leaned against the counter as well, sipping from her own mug.

"Plans for the boot camp are coming along so great, we should be ready to open this winter."

"Oh, I definitely think you could do that. You just need to get the word out and start signing people up."

"Yeah." The tension moved up into his throat. "So." He took a swallow of coffee to burn the knot away. "What I was thinking is, you're so good with promotion…" Just spit it out, coward. He swallowed more coffee. "What would you think about staying on a bit after summer camp ends to help Derrick and me get things going?"

She coughed into her mug, then gasped for air.

"Are you okay?" Alarmed, he rubbed her back.

"I'm fine." She didn't look fine. She looked scared.

Oh, crap! She was going to say no. He'd miscalculated somewhere. Read the signals wrong.

"How-" She pressed a hand to her chest. "How long would you want me to stay?"

Forever! "It, um, depends. I know you have a life back in Austin that you probably want to get back to, so it wouldn't have to be too long. Just… a few weeks?"

Her eyes watered from her coughing fit. "I can manage a few weeks."

"Really?" Relief swamped him so fast his knees went weak. "That would be… great."

"So…" When she turned away to put her mug in the sink, he saw her hands shake. Was she crying? Why would she be crying? "I, um, I guess I better shower and get dressed if I'm going into town."

"Hang on." He slipped a hand around her arm as she started toward the bedroom.

Before he could ask her what was wrong, or even get a good look at her face, she slipped her arms around his neck, went up on her toes and was kissing him so deeply that tiny explosions went off in his head. Adjusting quickly, he wrapped his arms around her and tilted his head for a better angle. Her hands were in his hair as her tongue danced with his. He ran his own hands down her back, then up under the shirt-where he found her bottom bare.

Ho-yeah! Coming up for air, he stared down at her in wonder. "Wow."

She grinned back at him, her whole face glowing.

He cleared his throat and tried to form a coherent thought. "So, um, you need any help with that shower?"

"That depends." Her smile grew even broader. "Do I get to scrub your back?"

Absolutely ho-yeah! "Only if I get to scrub yours."

"You got a deal, soldier." She turned and sashayed ahead of him into the bedroom.

Maddy sang with the radio all the way to the gallery, then breezed in with a cheerful hello for Juanita. "Is Sylvia here?"

"She's in the back getting things ready for you. I'll let her know you're here."

While Juanita picked up the phone, Maddy wandered back into the alcove that held her work. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw all the blank spots. Three of them she'd expected, from the sales made the night of the show, but apparently they'd sold two more of her originals: a large piece titled Rushing River and a small close-up of a cactus blossom.

"Sylvia's on her way," Juanita said, coming up behind her. "Do you need help getting anything out of your car?"

"What?"

"I can't wait to see what you've done since the show. As you can see, we really need some new pieces."

"Yes, I… see." She stared at the blank spots, feeling off kilter since she hadn't brought any more work. Her whole week had been taken up helping Joe. "I'll bring more pieces in next time."

"Maddy!" Sylvia sailed toward her, smiling broadly. "My new favorite person! Juanita told me about the show in Taos. And a party at Dale's resort." She slapped a hand over her heart.

"Oh, well." Maddy shrugged the words off. "That wasn't serious."

"Of course it was," Sylvia insisted. "I've been on the phone with Rick all week. They're very excited to have you come stay with them before the show."

"They are?" Maddy nearly stuttered in surprise.

"They're going to close the resort for three days, invite all their friends. Then end the party with a show at Rick's gallery. You're going to. have a ball."

"Sylvia…" The air left her lungs. "I can't dash off to Taos for a party that lasts three days."

Sylvia's face went blank. "Excuse me?"

"I'm working at Camp Enchantment."

"Oh, that." She waved a hand. "Not to worry. Dale's too much of a businessman to close his resort during the summer tourist season. He's looking at early fall, in the lull before ski season starts."

"Yes, but-" Maddy started to explain that she'd just promised Joe to help him with his boot camp, but Sylvia grabbed her arm.

"Now come in the back and have a look at your prints."

Ah yes, the prints!

Maddy's pulse picked up as the woman led her into the noisy frame shop. An easel had been set up next to one of the worktables. Her gaze moved past it, then zipped back as she recognized Sunrise Canyon.

"Ohmygod." She pressed both hands to her mouth as wonder blossomed inside her. The image was smaller and not as vibrant as the original, but it was hers. "I can't believe this! I have prints."

Several of the framers paused in their work to watch her reaction. She realized this must be fun for them too-working with artists, framing and selling prints, building careers. And now she was one of those artists. How had that happened?

"The printer did an amazing job." Sylvia beamed until she got a look at Maddy's face. "Are you going to cry?"

"I may." Her vision blurred for the second time that day. Why did happiness make her so weepy? "I know we've been talking about this for weeks, but it didn't seem real… until now."

"Here, have a seat." Sylvia guided her to a bar-stool next to the worktable.

They'd created a little island of clean amid the mess for her to sign the prints. Bottled water sat beside a plate of fruit and cheese. Three sharpened pencils lay in a neat row. All this had been done for her.

"You just sit here and admire your print for a few minutes," Sylvia insisted. "I need to fetch my calendar. Mark, Todd?" She motioned two of the framers over, then turned back to Maddy. "Don't let these guys work you too hard. Take as many breaks as you need."

"Of course." Maddy felt like a pampered princess as the men brought the first stack of prints to be signed. Mark, the frame shop manager, used a magnifying glass to inspect the first few.

"Now, don't freak," he said in warning, then promptly tore the top five prints in half and tossed them on the floor.

Maddy gasped in horror. "What are you doing?"

"Culling out the rejects." When he had a small stack of acceptable prints, he numbered them in pencil, then passed them to her for her signature.

Sylvia returned carrying an appointment book. She hopped onto a barstool across from Maddy and laid the book on the table. "Okay, let's talk dates."

"Dates?" Maddy signed another print and Todd whisked it away.

"Show dates." Slipping on her reading glasses, Sylvia flipped through the calendar pages. "Rick's show will come first, which will be a fun way to kick things off. Then we'll get down to real business with the Professional Picture Framers Association Trade Show in L.A. followed by Market in Dallas. We'll try to fill in the gaps with gallery shows, but those will be slow at first, until we build up your name recognition. Are there any weeks this fall you're not available to travel?"

"What?" The floor tilted suddenly, and Maddy prayed she wouldn't fall off the barstool. "You want me to travel? This fall?"

"Of course."

The whole conversation with Joe flashed through her mind. He'd said a few weeks, but she hoped to stretch that into more. "I-I can't travel."

"Don't worry." Sylvia waved her words away. "We pay all your expenses."

"But-" Her heart beat painfully fast. "Can't you simply send my work?"

"Once you're established, you can skip the trade shows and just do gallery appearances, but at this stage we want you out there meeting the gallery owners so they can see you're the total package."

"Total package?" Another stack of prints was placed in front of her. She stared at them blankly.

"Absolutely." Sylvia made a sweeping gesture that encompassed Maddy from head to toe. "Not only is your work brilliant, but you're attractive, well spoken, friendly. We want the gallery owners to fall in love with you, just like Rick and Dale did, and pass that enthusiasm on to their collectors. Trust me, dear, you're going to have a stellar career."

"But…" The panic she'd fought her whole life rose up in a rush, knocking the breath from her lungs. She frantically pushed it back down, like a child scrambling away from the edge of a deep ravine, refusing to look at what lived in that dark abyss. If she ever looked, she'd know what really frightened her, and she didn't want to know. Anything that scared her this much had to be ugly. "I don't want a stellar career."

"Y-you what?" Sylvia went still, then shook her head as if to clear it. Mark and Todd stared at her strangely. The whole frame shop seemed to go quiet.

"I just- I just-" The panic struggled to break free. "I can't do the shows, Sylvia. I'm sorry."

A heartbeat of silence passed, then Sylvia calmly folded her hands on top of the appointment book. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

Because I'm on the verge of having something special with Joe. I put myself and my art before him once. How will he feel if I run out on my promise to help him with the boot camp? There was something more behind all that. Some other fear she really didn't want to see. "I don't need a stellar career. I really don't. If I can do well, that's enough. Truly."

Sylvia looked at the two framers. "If you'll excuse us, I need to talk to Maddy in my office."

Battling nausea, she followed the older woman into the largest of the glass cubicles, feeling like a child on her way to the principal's office.

"Have a seat." Sylvia closed the door, which offered little privacy since the whole shop could see inside. Crossing to a mini refrigerator, Sylvia pulled out a bottle of green tea and handed it to her.

Maddy sat as ordered and accepted the tea with shaky hands. After a few sips, her throat loosened enough for her to breathe more evenly.

"Better?" Sylvia sat back in the swivel armchair at her desk.

Maddy nodded, still queasy but no longer afraid she'd actually throw up. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

The older woman studied her a moment. "You know, I've worked with artists most of my life, but I don't pretend to understand what makes you tick. Frankly, I have this constant fear that all the artists of the world will go into therapy, conquer their demons, and art as we know it will cease to exist."

Maddy laughed weakly.

"Here's the deal." The desk chair squeaked as Sylvia leaned forward. "I can sympathize with whatever has you worked up, but in the end I'm a businesswoman. As such, I'm going to lay things on the line so you understand exactly where I'm coming from. Maddy, I've invested a lot of money in you. Since we want to do two more print editions for our fall catalog, I plan to invest a gre.at deal more. Do you know how long it will take me to simply break even?"

"No." Maddy stared at the bottle.

"Months if things go well. Possibly a year. And that's with you helping us promote your work. If you had come to us with a built-in following, I could afford for you to sit at home, create your art, and let us do all the rest. But that's not the case. You came to us a complete unknown. So if you're going to flake out on me, do me a favor and say so right now."

Maddy stared at the design on the pale green bottle, branches forking off in different directions. Some of them crisscrossing and continuing. Others ending.

She had two paths from which to choose. One was a simple life with Joe, the two of them working together running both the summer camp and his boot camp. She'd still do her art, but on a quieter scale. Along the other path lay the kind of career most artists would sell their soul to have: nationwide fame, gallery shows, traveling. The pace would be grueling, but she'd never minded hard work. Punctuating that work would be moments of glamour, of being a star.

She traced one of the crisscrossed branches with her thumbnail. If she chose the path Sylvia offered, could she still have Joe? How would he feel, though, watching her from the sidelines as her fame grew? As excited as he was about his boot camp, she knew it wasn't what he really wanted to do. It would never match being in the Rangers.

He also enjoyed watching her sell her art, but his expectations couldn't possibly match this.

Everything in her yearned to accept what Sylvia offered, but it wasn't worth risking what she hoped to have with Joe. What she'd decided just that morning to go after.

She traced the design back down to the fork.

Career or love-those were her choices.

Closing her eyes, she chose love, and felt a little piece of her soul die. It was worth it, though. Love was worth any sacrifice.

"I'm sorry." She opened her eyes, and felt steadier now that the decision was made. "I can't do the shows."

Sylvia sat a long while, absorbing the news. "All right, she said at last. "I think you re making a huge mistake, but it's yours to make. I'll cancel our plans to do the other prints and have them struck from the catalog. Sunrise Canyon will stay in, of course, but it won't do as well without the rest of our plan in place."

The words sent pricks of pain to Maddy's heart, but she held firm. "I understand."

"Can I ask you a favor, though?"

She nodded, feeling guilty enough to grant nearly anything.

"Will you at least go to the party in Taos and do Rick's show? It's close enough for you to drive up there and back. We should be able to sell enough originals to offset some of my investment."

Maddy hesitated. Even this seemed risky, but not nearly as frightening as the rest. "Do you think they'd mind if I brought someone with me?"

"Of course not," Sylvia assured her. "The place is big enough that you could probably bring three or four guests."

"Oh." That perked her up some. She'd meant only to invite Joe, so that maybe he wouldn't mind her going, but maybe she could talk Christine and Amy into going too, since Christine would finally be done with her residency. "Very well. I'll do it."

"Thank you." Sylvia visibly relaxed. "Now, if you're up to it, let's sign a few more prints."

Maddy rose, eager to escape the office before she changed her mind.

"And Maddy," Sylvia added as they walked back into the frame shop, "we do a spring catalog as well. When winter gets here, if you change your mind, let me know. I'd still like the chance to work with you."

Maddy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I'll think about it," she said automatically, then chastised herself. She should have said no, that she wouldn't change her mind. Why did Sylvia have to leave this door open a crack, just when she thought she'd closed it firmly?

If only there was a way to take both paths.

When Maddy returned to the camp, she sent a long e-mail to her friends that set off a rapid exchange for the next two days. She'd meant to simply invite them to the party in Taos but had ended up telling them everything about her meeting with Sylvia.

Christine's response was fast and heated: Of course we'll come to the party. (Shut up, Amy, I'll take care of everything. So you ARE going.) But Maddy, are you NUTS???

Amy: I don't understand. Why do you think Sylvia's plans would upset Joe? From the way you've described him, I think he'd be thrilled. And if I go to Taos, does that fulfill my challenge?

Christine: NO! Amy, I'll make all the arrangements. I'll pick you up at your front door and be with you every step of the way. Consider this a test run for you going somewhere on your own. As for your question to Maddy: Yeah, Mad, why do you think Joe will be upset?

Maddy: I told y'all, I've decided for sure I want to marry this man.

Christine: So? Is he asking you to choose between him and your dream? Because if he is, dump the jerk.

Maddy: He's not asking me to do anything. Are

you kidding? We don't have "Big Conversations." We keep everything very small and very safe.

Amy: You mean you still haven't told him you love him?

Maddy: I'll tell Joe I love him when the time is right. When I know he'll believe me.

The following day brought another blistering reply from Christine, while Amy's response was disapproving but sympathetic. Before Maddy could answer, she heard Joe coming up the stairs to her apartment, his step light and happy. Her heart lifted.

Closing the laptop-which shut off her friends' disapproval-she went to open the door. Christine and Amy meant well, but they didn't understand. How could they? They weren't the ones in love. In fact, Amy had never had a serious boyfriend and Christine was a loser magnet, so their advice was suspect at best.

The minute Joe swept her into his arms and kissed her crazy, doubts over her choice vanished. Well, faded.

He lifted his head to smile at her. "Are you done with your art for the day?"

"Actually, I was just- Never mind. Yes, I'm done."

"Great. I'm done with work as well." As he stepped inside, she realized he wore a dark blue dress shirt, black slacks, and cowboy boots. With the bolo tie at his neck and silver ranger set on his belt, he looked like he'd stepped out of an ad in the Santa Fean.

"Wow," she said. "Don't you look nice."

"I just heard Bill Hearne is playing at the La Fonda. So what do you say to dinner and dancing?"

"You're on!"