Bad Intentions

CHAPTER 18

The pain in Axel’s wisdom tooth grew steadily worse and on the third day when he came home from work, he pulled off his clothes and went straight to bed. He switched off the light. He curled up against the wall. He lay with a flannel pressed against his cheek and at regular intervals he went to the bathroom to rinse it in cold water and wring it out. This relieved the pain for a few minutes. He moved the cloth around his face, across his cheeks and forehead, while he emitted faint groans. The pain filled his head. It made him tense his muscles, and the tension increased the pain. It was a vicious circle. When the doorbell rang, he stayed in bed. But whoever it was refused to go away and eventually he staggered out into the hall.

‘Bloody hell, you look a sight,’ Reilly said.

‘It’s spreading,’ Axel groaned. ‘It’s spreading across my jaw.’

‘Shouldn’t you go to the hospital, then?’

‘I don’t know. I feel nauseous. I’m clammy with sweat.’

Axel leaned against the wall for support. He stared at a point on the floor which started to move as he watched. It was a spider. He squashed it with his heel.

‘They’ve found a body,’ Reilly said. ‘In Glitter Lake.’

Axel’s jaw dropped. ‘You’re kidding.’

‘They’ve found a body. They say he’s Asian.’

Axel froze. For the first time in a long while the unbearable pain faded into the background.

‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s sit down.’

He collapsed in a chair, still pressing the cloth against his cheek. Axel’s furniture was covered in buffalo hide. He enjoyed the idea that the armchairs and sofa had once thundered across the savannah. Now it felt that way, literally, as if the chair was moving beneath him. The flannel against his cheek had long since reached room temperature, but it helped nevertheless. It was a symbol, like a bandage on a wound. The squashed spider was still stuck to his heel.

‘It can’t be him,’ he mumbled.

‘Of course it can,’ Reilly said.

‘And when will they know who he is?’

‘It’ll probably take some time,’ Reilly suggested. ‘I imagine he’s badly decomposed now as well; he’s been lying there for months.’

He pulled off his long coat.

‘They have to be certain. But once they know his identity, they’ll start working their way back to 19 December. They won’t give up. They’ll find us, Axel.’

He went to the window and looked out. No huge tankers on the river today, only smaller boats.

‘I wonder what kind of view I’ll have from my cell,’ he muttered.

‘Please would you shut up?’ Axel groaned. ‘My throat hurts too. I think the infection has spread to my throat. I wonder if I’ll get blood poisoning.’

He moved the cloth to his forehead and wiped away some beads of sweat.

‘So they’ve found a bloody Chink?’

Reilly turned. ‘I don’t know where he’s from,’ he said, ‘but it doesn’t look good for us.’

‘Guilt has to be proven beyond all reasonable doubt,’ Axel said. ‘We have many advantages. They’ll have to work very hard.’

‘What about the truth?’ Reilly said gravely.

Axel waved irritably with his other arm. ‘You’re so naive,’ he said. ‘Where do you think the truth will get us? Do you think truth is a limousine that will take us to a five-star hotel with a lobby full of cheering fans? The truth is unpleasant, Reilly. Ingerid Moreno doesn’t want it. We owe it to Jon to preserve his good name. Remember, that name will live on for generations.’

‘You’re thinking very long term,’ Reilly remarked.

Axel nodded. ‘That’s the difference between us,’ he said. ‘Your only concern is to relieve your conscience. You think the truth will set you free, that it will lift you to new heights. That you’ll get back everything you had before this miserable business ever happened. But you never will. One of us has to consider the consequences. You’re really incredibly selfish, Reilly, it’s all about you and your scruples.’

‘Actually I was thinking about Ingerid,’ Reilly mumbled.

He let himself fall on to the sofa. His long hair cascaded forwards and concealed his face; only his big nose protruded from the tangled hair.

‘I mean, she thinks it’s her fault that Jon died, that she must have been a bad mum. This will haunt her for the rest of her life. She’ll be thinking about it when she gets up and last thing at night before she falls asleep. And when she visits his grave, she’ll think she was a bad mum who did everything wrong. And that’s not true.’

‘We all have bad stuff to deal with,’ Axel said, his face contorting with pain. ‘You’ve got to stop worrying about other people, Reilly, it restricts your ability to make the most of your life.’

‘What do you think Jon wrote in that diary?’ Reilly asked.

‘Probably nothing revealing,’ Axel said, ‘or Ingerid would have been here a long time ago.’

‘She won’t come here,’ Reilly declared. ‘She’ll go straight to the police. Do you know what I often think? They didn’t believe our explanation for one minute. They’ve simply been waiting for something to surface. And that’s happened now. They’re ahead of us, Axel. They have been the whole time.’

Reilly’s dark predictions sent Axel into a state of panic.

‘I feel nauseous and limp,’ he said, ‘and I’m clammy. Do you think I’ve got blood poisoning?’

Reilly ignored the question. ‘Someone might have seen us,’ he said. ‘I often think about that. We were so caught up in what happened that we wouldn’t have noticed if someone had been watching us.’

Axel was still sitting with the flannel pressed against his cheek. He looked like a wounded soldier.

‘Many people drown,’ he said. ‘It’s probably not our guy.’