Beautiful Oblivion

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

BUSY WITH PACKING AND MOVING, TRENTON WASN’T around much for the next week. I helped him when I could, but things were awkward. Trenton was more than a little disappointed about me not moving in. He couldn’t hide his feelings any better than I could, which wasn’t always a good thing.

Saturday night, Raegan was sitting on our love seat, flipping channels in a show-stopping cocktail dress. The single shoulder strap looked like shimmering diamonds, and the rest was curve-hugging red satin. The sweetheart neckline made it that much sexier. Her silver heels were sky-high, and her hair was straight, shiny, and half up, half down.

“I wish Blia were here. This moment definitely calls for one of her customized phrases. You are flawless.”

Her buff lip gloss glistened against her brilliant smile. “Thanks, Cami. What are your plans tonight?”

“Trenton was going to unpack for a little while after he left Skin Deep, but he said he’d be here by seven. Travis is having a rough time lately, so he’s going to check on him and then come over.”

“So you’re taking the night off?”

I nodded.

“Brazil is picking me up at seven thirty.”

“You don’t look all that happy about it.”

She shrugged.

I walked into my bedroom, and slid open my closet doors. The left one was hanging off the track, so I had to be careful. My clothes were carefully categorized by type and subtype, and then by color. Sweaters were hanging on the far left, various shirts, denim, and then dresses on the right. I didn’t have very many—I was more focused on paying bills than padding my wardrobe, and Raegan let me borrow a lot of her stuff, anyway. Trenton was taking me to some fancy Italian restaurant in town, and then we were going to have a few drinks at the Red. It was supposed to be a laid-back evening. His card and present were sitting in a red gift sack on top of my dresser. It was fairly lame, but I knew he would appreciate the gesture.

I pulled out the only thing that was close to appropriate: a black crocheted dress with a white liner and three-quarter-length sleeves. With a modest scoop neckline, it was the one dress I owned that didn’t accentuate my cleavage and wouldn’t draw attention at a nice restaurant. I slipped on a pair of red heels and matching red necklace and earrings, and called it good.

There was a knock on the door just before seven, and I jogged across the floor. “Don’t get up. It’s probably Trent.”

But it wasn’t. It was Brazil. He looked at his watch. “Sorry I’m so early. I was just sitting around the house and . . .”

Raegan stood up, and Brazil was speechless for a moment. His mouth pulled to the side. “You look nice.”

I frowned. Raegan looked like a million bucks, and I could tell Brazil was intentionally acting unimpressed. He wasn’t being mean about it, but there was a hint of regret in his eyes. Raegan didn’t even complain about his nonreaction, she just mirrored his expression, and then picked up her purse from the breakfast bar.

“Better bring a coat, Ray,” Brazil said. “It’s chilly.”

I opened the front closet and handed her black dress coat to her. She offered a small smile in thanks, and then they closed the door behind them.

I returned to my room and finished my hair. Seven came and went, and so did seven thirty. At eight, I picked up my phone and turned it over. Nothing. I tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail.

At fifteen ’til nine, I was sitting on the love seat, playing a stupid bird game on my cell phone. It didn’t help my already building anger that Trenton hadn’t called to explain his lateness.

Someone knocked on the door, and I leaped to my feet. I opened the door to find Trenton, or part of him, because he was hidden behind a vase full of several dozen dark red roses.

I gasped and covered my mouth. “Holy hell, are those for me?” I asked.

Trenton walked in and set the vase on the bar. He was in the same clothes he wore to work, and suddenly I felt overdressed.

When he turned, he wasn’t smiling.

“What? Is Travis okay?” I asked.

“His bike was parked at Ugly Fixer Liquor’s, so probably not.”

I hugged him tight. “Thank you for the flowers.” When I realized his hands were still at his sides, I pulled away.

Trenton was clearly working to keep his face smooth. “They were delivered to the shop late, after you left. They’re not from me.”

“Who are they from?” I asked.

He pointed to the vase. “There’s a card.”

I walked over and plucked the miniature red envelope from its plastic holder. When I pulled the card out, my lips moved but nothing came out as I quickly read the words.

I talked myself out of this several times this week, but I had to.

Love always,

T.

I closed my eyes. “Damn it.” I laid the card upside down and flat on the light-green Formica and held it there, glancing at Trenton. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I am not talking to him. We haven’t spoken in weeks.”

“So it was T.J.,” Trenton said, his face and neck turning three shades of red.

“Yes, but I don’t even think he knows why he sent them. Let’s just . . .” I reached for him, but he pulled away. “Let’s just forget about them,” I said, gesturing dismissively toward the roses, “and have a good time tonight.” Trenton shoved his hands in his pockets, his lips pressed together in a hard line. “Please?” I begged.

“He sent them to fuck with your head. And mine.”

“No,” I said, “he wouldn’t do that.”

“Don’t defend him! This is bullshit!” he said as he turned for the door, and then turned back to face me. “I’ve been sitting at work this whole time, staring at those fucking things. I wanted to calm down before I got here, but this is just . . . it’s fucking disrespectful, is what it is! I bust my ass trying to prove to you that I’m better for you than he ever was. But he keeps pulling this shit, and showing up, and . . . I can’t compete with some rich college boy from California. I’m barely getting by, with no degree, and up until a few days ago I still lived with my dad. But I am so fucking in love you, Cami,” he said, reaching for me. “I have been since we were kids. The first time I saw you on the playground, I knew what beauty was. The first time you ignored me was my first broken heart. I thought I was playing this right, from the moment I sat down at your table at the Red. No one has ever wanted someone as much as I want you. For years I . . .” He was breathing hard, and he clenched his jaw. “When I heard about your dad, I wanted to rescue you,” he said, chuckling, but not out of humor. “And that night at your apartment, I thought I’d finally gotten something right.” He pointed to the ground. “That my purpose in life was to love you and keep you safe . . . but I didn’t prepare for having to share you.”

I didn’t know if I could fix this. It was our first Valentine’s Day, and he was furious. But I knew those flowers had nothing to do with Trenton and everything to do with T.J. being miserable. He loved me, but we just couldn’t make it work. Trenton didn’t understand because any attempt at an explanation would lead to questions—questions I couldn’t answer. It was hard to be mad at either of them, and easy to be angry at myself for putting us all in this situation.

I walked into the kitchen, pulled out the trash can, picked up the vase, and let it fall straight to the bottom.

Trenton watched me with a grimace, and then his entire face softened. “You didn’t have to do that!”

I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around his middle, pressing my cheek against his shoulder. Even when I wore heels, he was taller than me. “I don’t want those flowers.” I looked up at him. “I do, however, want you. You’re not the one I’m stuck with because I didn’t get my first choice. If you think you’re in love with two people, you pick the second one, right? Because if I really loved T.J., I couldn’t have fallen in love with you.”

Trenton looked down at me, his eyes heavy with sadness. “In theory,” he said, laughing once.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Every woman who’s met you wants a shot at you. How could you ever think you’re the consolation prize?”

Trenton touched my jaw with his palm, and then he walked away from me. “Goddammit! I ruined our whole night! I’m such a fuckin’ jerk, Cami! I was stressing because I wanted to get you flowers, but they’re all so damn expensive . . . and then that ridiculously gigantic bouquet shows up. I’m a dick. I’m an unreasonable, selfish, insecure dick who is so scared of losing you. It’s too hard to believe that you’re already mine.” His eyes were so sad, it broke my heart.

“Since we were kids? You never talked to me, though. I didn’t think you knew who I was.”

He laughed once. “You terrified me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A Maddox boy? Afraid?”

His face compressed. “We’ve already lost the first woman we ever loved. The thought of going through that again scares the shit out of us.”

My eyes instantly filled with tears, and then spilled over. I gripped his shirt in my fists and pulled him against me, kissing him hard, and then I ran to my room, picked up the small sack and card, and returned to him. I held the sack in front of me.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Trenton blanched. “I am the biggest dickhole in the history of dickholes.”

“Why?”

“I was so worried about the flowers, I forgot your present at the shop.”

“It’s okay,” I said, waving him off. “This is not a big deal.”

He opened the card, read it, and looked up at me. “The card I got you is not this good.”

“Stop. Open your present,” I said, a little giddy.

He reached in, and pulled out something rolled in white tissue paper. He opened it up, and held out the T-shirt in front of him. Still holding it high, he poked his head around. “Your present isn’t this awesome, either.”

“It’s not awesome. It’s just a shirt.”

He flipped it around, pointing at the Star Wars font. “ ‘May the Schwartz Be with You’? This is the motherfucking pterodactyl of T-shirts!”

I blinked. “So . . . that’s a good thing?”

Someone knocked on the door, and Trenton and I jumped. I wiped my eyes while Trenton peeked out the peephole. He turned to me, clearly confused.

“It’s . . . it’s Kody.”

“Kody?” I asked, opening the door.

“Ray’s been trying to call you,” he said, upset. “She and Brazil got into it again. She needs a ride home. I was going to go get her, but she thinks it would go over better if you were there.”

“Shit,” I said, rushing to put on my coat.

“My truck’s running,” Kody said. “I’ll drive.”

I pointed at him. “Don’t start any shit.”

Kody held up his hands as I passed. We all piled into his truck and drove to the Sig Tau house.

Cars lined the street, and the house was decorated with red lights and strings adorned with beer cans and cutout hearts. Some people were milling about outside, but most were running from the street for the warmth of the house.

Trenton helped me down the four feet from Kody’s lifted truck, and we met Kody on the driver’s side. The bass from the music was thumping inside my chest, and it reminded me of the Red. Just as I began to take a step toward the house, Trenton held me back. He was staring at the space in front of Kody’s truck.

“Fuck me,” he said, his head jerking toward the house.

Travis’s Harley was parked in the street, and an empty, half-pint bottle of whiskey was lying next to it, held up by the crisp, dead grass.

A girl screamed, “Put me down, damn it!”

It was Abby, and she was hanging over Travis’s shoulder, beating the hell out of him with her fists, and kicking. He stomped over to a car and threw her into the backseat. After a short conversation with a guy in the driver’s seat, Travis crawled into the back with Abby.

“Should we . . . ?” I began, but Trenton shook his head.

“They have been back and forth like this for weeks. I do not want to get caught up in that disaster.”

The car pulled away, and we walked inside. The moment we stepped into the main room, people were staring and whispering to each other.

“Trent!” Shepley said, a wide smile on his face.

“I just saw Travis,” Trenton said, pointing behind him.

Shepley chuckled. “Yeah. They’re going to end up back together tonight.”

Trenton shook his head. “They’re nuts.”

Kody took a step. “We’re looking for Brazil and Raegan. Have you seen them?”

Shepley glanced around and then shrugged. “Not for a while.”

We searched downstairs, we searched the main floor, and then went upstairs. Kody didn’t miss a single room, or even the closets. When we got to the balcony, we found Brazil.

“Jason,” I said. He turned around. He nodded at Trenton, but gave Kody a once-over.

“This is a Sig Tau party, guys. Sorry, but you can’t stay.”

“I’m Sig Tau,” Trenton said.

“No offense, man, but not anymore.”

Kody turned his shoulder toward Brazil, clearly trying his hardest to keep from attacking him. “Where’s Ray?”

Brazil shook his head and looked down. Then he looked up at me. “I tried to make it work. I really tried this time. I just can’t do clingy.”

Kody leaned in closer, and Trenton put his hand on his chest. “She’s not clingy,” he said through his teeth. “You should feel grateful for the time she wants to spend with you.”

Brazil started to respond, but I held up my hand. “Jason, we’re not here to judge you.”

“Speak for yourself,” Kody growled.

I jerked my head toward his large frame. “You’re not helping. Shut up.”

“Do you know where she is?” Trenton asked. “We’re just here to take her home.”

He shook his head. “I haven’t seen her.”

We left Brazil alone, taking the stairs to the main floor. We walked outside, and Trenton hooked his arm around me to ward off the cold.

“What now?” Kody asked.

“Try to call her,” I said, shivering.

We walked back to the truck, and then froze when we saw Raegan sitting on the curb next to Kody’s back tire.

“Ray?” Kody said.

She stood up and turned around, holding up her phone. “It died,” she cried.

Kody scooped her up into his huge arms, and she hugged him, crying. He climbed up into his truck with her still in his arms, and then Trenton and I walked around. Oddly, Raegan didn’t want to discuss her fight with Brazil. Instead, Travis was the topic of conversion.

“And then he said, ‘and to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend, because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her,’ or something like that.” She put her palm on Kody’s chest. “I died.”

I looked to Trenton, but instead of the amused expression I expected, he was lost in thought.

“You okay?” I asked.

“That hit a little too close to home,” he said.

I kissed his cheek. “Baby. Stop. We’re good.”

“We didn’t even make dinner.”

“Let’s go to the store,” Kody said. “Pick up some groceries. I’ll cook.”

“I’ll help,” Trenton said.

“Oh, I have groceries,” I said. “I’m stocked for a while.”

“Do you have pasta shells?” Kody asked.

“Yes,” Raegan and I said in unison.

“Butter?” Kody asked. We nodded. “Flour? Southwest seasoning?” I looked to Trenton, who nodded. “Milk? Jack cheese?” I shook my head no.

Trenton spoke up. “You’ve got pepper jack, though.”

Kody nodded once. “Just as good. Tomatoes? Green chiles? Bread crumbs?”

“No bread crumbs,” Trenton said.

Kody jerked the wheel to the right, and we drove to his apartment. He was inside for less than a minute, and then we were on our way, with a box of bread crumbs.

“I’m starving,” I said. “What are you making?”

“A gourmet Valentine’s Day meal,” Kody said, rather over-dramatically. “Southwestern Mac and Cheese.”

We all laughed, but my stomach growled. It sounded amazing.

Trenton whispered into my ear, “I’m sorry I didn’t take you to dinner.”

I hugged his arm. “This is much better than what we had planned.”

He kissed my cheek and squeezed me against his side. “I agree.”