Beautiful Oblivion

CHAPTER FOUR

THE BETTER PART OF SUNDAY MORNING WAS SPENT IN BED. Around ten thirty, my mother texted me, asking if I was coming to Sunday lunch. I informed her that because of the trip cancellation, Hank had taken the opportunity to call an employee meeting. It was mostly the truth. The employees hung out at the Red every Sunday afternoon, and then we’d all go home to freshen up for the Sunday night shift.

Mom didn’t hesitate to send back a message meant to make me feel guilty.

“I’m riding with Kody!” Raegan yelled from her bedroom.

“K!” I yelled back from my bed. The phone call with T.J. hadn’t ended until the wee hours of the morning. We discussed vague parts of his project that he could reveal, and then we talked about Trenton and Olive. T.J. didn’t seem even the slightest bit jealous, which sort of pissed me off. And then I felt guilty when I realized I was trying to make him jealous, so I spent the rest of the conversation being super sweet to him.

After a long pep talk with myself, I threw off my covers and shuffled to the bathroom. Raegan had already been in there. The mirror was still fogged, and the walls were still sweaty from the steam.

I turned on the shower, grabbed two towels while the hot water kicked on, and then pulled off my worn Bulldog Football T-shirt and tossed it to the floor. The fabric was so thin it was see-through in some places. It was T.J.’s shirt, heather gray with royal-blue writing. I wore it the night before T.J. left to go back to California—the first night we slept together—and he didn’t ask for it when he left. That shirt represented a time when everything was perfect between us, so it held a special significance for me.

By noon I had dressed, jumped in the Smurf with minimal makeup and wet hair, driven to the closest fast-food restaurant to grab a couple of items off the value menu, scrounged up $2.70 in coins to pay for lunch, and then made my way to the Red Door. The entrance area was empty, but music was playing through the speakers. Classic rock. That meant Hank was already there.

When I sat down at the east bar, Hank came around from the other side and smiled. He was wearing a black button-up shirt with black slacks and a black belt. Typical for him during work hours, but he was usually dressed down on Sundays.

I straddled a barstool, and rested my chin on my fist. “Hey, Hank. You look nice.”

“Well, hello, good-lookin’,” Hank said with a wink. “I’m not going home before open tonight. Paperwork and all that fun shit. Did you enjoy your weekend off?”

“I did, under the circumstances.”

“Jorie said Trenton Maddox was hanging around your table Friday night. I must have missed it.”

“I’m surprised. Usually you’re watching the Maddoxes like a hawk.”

Hank made a face. “I have to. They’re either starting a fight or finishing one.”

“Yeah, they almost finished one with Coby, the jackass. Even when I told him who they were, he still didn’t back down.”

“Sounds about right.”

“I already need a drink!” Jorie called from the other side of the room. She was walking in with Blia. They both took a stool on each side of me and put their purses on the bar.

“Rough night?” Hank said, amused.

Jorie lifted an eyebrow. If it was possible to flirtatiously chomp on a piece of gum, she was doing it. “You tell me.”

“I’d say you had a pretty good night,” he said with a smirk.

“Ew,” I said, my entire face compressing. Hank’s dark, curly hair, light-blue eyes, five o’clock shadow, and tan skin made him attractive to nearly every female between the ages of fifteen and eighty, but Hank was twelve years older than us, and I’d witnessed so many of his shenanigans that he was more like a cute but ornery uncle to me. The only thing I wanted to visualize him doing was paperwork and counting money at the end of the night. “No one needs to hear that.”

Hank was responsible for the end of at least a dozen marriages in our little town, and he was notorious for paying attention to barely legal young women just long enough to dip his stick. But when Jorie began working at the Red last year, he was obsessed. Jorie, an army brat with nine cities under her belt and unimpressed by most things, was definitely not falling for Hank’s charms. It wasn’t until there was a major turnaround in his behavior and reputation that she gave him the time of day. They’d had a couple of setbacks, but they were good for each other.

Jorie elbowed me and gave Hank a playful glare.

Tuffy walked in, looking tired and depressed as usual. He was a bouncer at the Red until he was fired. Hank had a soft spot for him, though, and rehired him six months later as a DJ. After his third divorce and third bout with depression, he missed work too many times and got fired again. Now, on his fourth wife and fourth chance at the Red, he was reduced to working the entrance and checking IDs at half pay.

Just a few seconds later, Rafe Montez followed behind Tuffy. He took over for Tuffy as DJ, and frankly was far better. He was quiet and kept to himself, and even though he’d worked at the Red for nearly a year, I didn’t know much about him other than that he never missed a night of work.

“Holy shit the bed, Cami! Debra Tillman told my mom that you were at Chicken Joe’s with Trenton Maddox!” Blia said.

Jorie’s bleached curls flipped from one shoulder to the other when she looked over at me. “Seriously?”

“I was coerced. He showed up at my apartment with a little girl. He told her she could go to Chicken Joe’s as soon as I got ready.”

“That’s kind of sweet.” Blia brushed her long black hair off her shoulder and smiled, making her beautiful almond-shaped eyes turn into thin slits. She was barely five foot two and always wore sky-high shoes to make up for being vertically challenged. Today she wore inches-thick wedges with white skinny jeans and a floral top that scrunched at her midriff and fell off one shoulder. With her beauty-queen smile and flawless saffron skin, I always thought she was destined to be famous rather than waste her time behind the front beer kiosk, but she didn’t seem interested.

Jorie frowned. “Does T.J. know?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that . . . awkward?” Jorie asked.

I shrugged. “T.J. didn’t seem fazed.”

Hank looked past me and smiled, and I turned around to see Raegan and Kody walk in. Raegan was walking quickly, searching in her purse for something, and Kody was a few steps behind, trying to keep up.

Raegan sat down on a stool, and Kody stood next to her. “I can’t find my damn keys. I’ve looked for them everywhere!”

I leaned forward. “Seriously?” Our apartment keys were on that key ring.

“I’ll find them,” Raegan assured me. She lost her keys at least twice a month, so I wasn’t going to stress over it too much, but I always wondered if the next time would be the time that we would have to pay to change the locks.

“I’m going to glue those damn things to your hand, Ray,” I said.

Kody gave Raegan’s shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “She had them last night. They’re either in my truck or in the apartment. We’ll look again later.”

The side door shut, and we all watched the door at the end of the hall to see the last of us, Chase Gruber, stroll in through the employee entrance in his typical attire. The six-foot-six college junior wore shorts year-round. In the winter he wore an ESU Bulldogs hoodie over the random T-shirt, but his short, curly hair was always covered by either a helmet or his favorite red baseball cap. His laces were untied, and he looked like he just rolled out of bed.

Blia’s face lit up. “Radtastic, it’s Gruber!”

Gruber didn’t crack a smile or remove his sunglasses.

“Rough day, Booby?” Kody said with a smirk.

All of the football guys called each other by their last names. To be honest, I wasn’t convinced they knew each other’s first names. Gruber was quickly nicknamed Gruby during practice, and sometime after Gruber started at the Red, Kody began calling him Booby. It was funny last year, but the name had lost its shine, for Gruber and for everyone else but Kody.

Gruber sat on the empty stool next to Blia with his elbows on the bar and his fingers intertwined. “Fuck off, Kody. Coach ran our asses off today because we lost last night.”

“Then don’t lose,” Tuffy said.

Kody chuckled.

“Eat my dick, quitter.”

Kody laughed once and shook his head. It was true. Kody did quit the football team before the season started, but that was because he blew out his knee at the end of the last game of his sophomore year. He suffered multiple ligament tears, one was shredded, and his kneecap was dislocated. I didn’t even know the kneecap could be dislocated, but the orthopedic surgeon said he would never play again. Raegan said he didn’t talk about it, but he seemed to be dealing with it well. As a true freshman, Kody had helped our little university win the national championship. Without him, the team was struggling.

The door shut again, and we all froze. It was too early for patrons, and unless someone followed Gruber, only employees knew to come in through the side entrance. We all sucked in a collective gasp when T.J. appeared. He was holding up a set of shiny keys.

“I went by the apartment. These were lying on the stairs.”

I jumped up from my stool and walked quickly over to him. T.J. took me into his arms and gave me a tight squeeze.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered.

“I felt horrible.”

“That’s sweet, but what are you really doing here?”

T.J. sighed. “The job.”

“Here?” I said, pulling away from him to see his face. He was being truthful, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me more.

T.J. smiled, and then kissed the corner of my mouth. He tossed the keys to Kody, who effortlessly caught them.

Raegan laughed once. “On the stairs? Did they fall out of my hand or something?” she asked in disbelief.

Kody shrugged. “No telling, woman.”

T.J. leaned in to whisper into my ear. “I can’t stay. My plane leaves in an hour.”

I couldn’t hide my disappointment, but nodded. There was no point in protesting. “Did you do what you needed to do?”

“I think so.” T.J. took my hand, and nodded to the rest of the crew. “She’ll be right back.”

Everyone waved, and T.J. led me out the side door to the parking lot. A rented, shiny black Audi was parked just outside. He’d left it running.

“Wow, you weren’t joking. You’re really leaving right now.”

He sighed. “I debated whether it would be worse to only see you for a second, or to not see you at all.”

“I’m glad you came.”

T.J. slid his hand between my hair and my neck, and pulled me into him, kissing me with the lips that made me fall in love with him. His tongue found its way into my mouth. It was warm and soft and forceful at the same time. My thighs involuntarily tensed. T.J.’s hand slid down my arm, and then to my hip, to my thigh, where he squeezed just enough to show his desperation.

“Me, too,” he said, a bit breathless when he finally pulled away. “You don’t know how much I wish I could stay.”

I wanted him to, but I wouldn’t ask. That just made it harder on both of us, and might make me look pathetic.

T.J. got into his car and drove away, and I walked back into the Red, feeling emotionally drained. Raegan’s bottom lip was pushed out a bit, and Hank was frowning so severely that a deep line had formed between his brows.

“If you ask me,” Hank said, crossing his arms over his chest, “that little bastard rushed home to piss on you real quick.”

My face screwed into disgust. “Ick.”

Gruber nodded. “If Trent’s coming around, then that’s exactly what that was.”

I shook my head as I sat on the stool. “T.J.’s not threatened by Trent. He’s barely mentioned him.”

“So he knows,” Gruber said.

“Well, yeah. I’m not trying to hide it.”

“You think he’s here to talk to Trent?” Kody asked.

I shook my head again, picking at a hangnail. “No. He’s not big on announcing our relationship, so he definitely wouldn’t approach Trent about me.”

Hank grumbled and walked away, coming right back. “I don’t like that, either. He should be shouting to the world that he loves you, not hiding you like a dirty secret!”

“It’s hard to explain, Hank. T.J. is a very . . . private person. He’s a complicated individual,” I said.

Blia rested her cheek on her hand. “Holy shit balls, Cami. Your whole situation is complicated.”

“You’re telling me,” I said, lifting my buzzing cell phone. It was T.J., saying that he missed me already. I returned the sentiment, and set my phone on the bar.

For the first time in months, I didn’t have to return to the bar after the Sunday employee meeting, which wasn’t completely horrible, since it was thundering outside, and rain was pelting the windows. I had already caught up on my studying, all of my homework was complete, and the laundry was folded and put away. It felt weird having nothing to do.

Raegan was working the east bar with Jorie, and Kody was manning the entrance, so I was home alone and bored out of my mind. I watched a rather fascinating zombie show on television, and then pushed the power button on the remote, sitting in complete silence.

Thoughts about T.J. began to creep into my mind. I wondered whether continuing with something that seemed so futile was worth dragging my heart through the mud, and what it meant that he’d come all the way here to only see me for three minutes.

My cell phone buzzed. It was Trenton.

Hey.

Hey.

Open your door, loser. It’s raining.

What?

He knocked on the door, and I jumped, turning around on the couch. I scampered over to the door and leaned in closer. “Who is it?”

“I told you who it was. Open the freakin’ door!”

I unlocked the chain and bolt lock to see Trenton standing in the doorway, his jacket soaked, and the rain pouring off his scalp and down his face.

“Can I come in?” he said, shivering.

“Jesus, Trent!” I said, yanking him inside.

I jogged to the bathroom to get a freshly folded towel, and returned within a few seconds, tossing it to Trenton. He peeled off his jacket, and then his T-shirt, and then patted his face and head with the towel.

Trenton looked down at his jeans. They were soaked, too.

“Kody might have some sweatpants in Ray’s room, hold on,” I said, walking quickly down the hall to my roommate’s room.

I returned with a T-shirt and sweatpants. “The bathroom is right there,” I said, nodding toward the hallway.

“I’m good,” he said, unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, and then kicking off his boots before letting the denim fall to the floor. He stepped out of them, and then looked at me with his most charming smile. “Think Kody will mind if I go commando under his sweats?”

“Yes, and so will I,” I said.

Trenton feigned disappointment, and then slipped on the sweats. His chest and abs tightened and rolled under his skin, and I tried not to watch while he pulled the T-shirt over his head.

“Thanks,” he said. “I went by the Red and had a few drinks after work. Raegan said you’d be here alone and bored to death, so I thought I’d stop by.”

“It wasn’t because the rain gave you an excuse to get naked?”

“No. Disappointed?”

“Not at all.”

Trenton wasn’t fazed. Instead, he jumped over the back of my couch and bounced on the cushions. “Let’s watch a movie!” He reached for the remote.

“I was kind of enjoying my first night alone.”

Trenton turned to me. “You want me to leave?”

I thought about it for a minute. I should have said yes, but that would have been a lie. I walked around the couch and sat as close to the arm as I could. “Where’s Olive?”

“With her parents, I bet.”

“I like her. She’s cute.”

“She’s fucking adorable. I’m going to have to kill at least one teenage boy one of these days.”

“Oh, she’s going to be sorry she ever befriended a Maddox,” I said, chuckling.

Trenton pressed the power button, and punched in three numbers. The channel switched, and an NFL football game appeared. “Is this okay?”

I shrugged. “I love the Forty-Niners, but they suck balls this year.” I looked over to Trenton when I realized he was staring at me. “What?”

“I was just thinking now was as good a time as any to acknowledge that you’re perfect and it wouldn’t suck if you fell madly in love with me anytime soon.”

“I have a boyfriend,” I reminded him.

He waved me away. “Speed bump.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “He’s a pretty hot speed bump.”

Trent scoffed. “You’ve seen me nearly naked, baby doll. Your long-distance boy doesn’t look anything like this.”

I watched as he flexed his arm. It wasn’t as big as Kody’s but was still impressive. “You’re right. He doesn’t have that many tattoos. Or any.”

Trenton rolled his eyes. “You have a pretty boy for a boyfriend? Disappointing!”

“He’s not a pretty boy. He’s a badass. Just in a different way than you.”

A wide smile spread across Trenton’s face. “You think I’m a badass?”

I purposefully kept myself from smiling, but it was hard. His expression was contagious. “Everyone knows about the Maddox brothers.”

“Especially,” Trenton said, standing up on the cushions and putting one foot on one side of me, the other he wedged between me and the arm of the couch, “this Maddox brother!” He began bouncing and, at the same time, flexing his muscles in different poses.

I playfully smacked his calves, giggling. “Knock it off!” I said, bouncing.

Trenton leaned down and grabbed my hands, forcing me to smack myself in the face a few times. It didn’t hurt but, being the big sister of three brothers, this, of course, meant war.

I fought back, and then Trenton grabbed my T-shirt, rolling onto the floor and bringing me with him, and then he began to tickle.

“No! Stop it!” I squealed, laughing. I placed my thumbs under his armpits and dug in, and Trenton instantly jumped back. The same maneuver worked with T.J.

T.J. Oh, God. I was rolling around on the floor with Trenton. This was not okay . . . not even kind of okay.

“Okay!” I said, holding up my hands. “You win.”

Trenton froze. I was flat on my back, and he was on his knees, straddling me. “I win?”

“Yeah. And you have to get off of me. This is not appropriate.”

Trenton laughed, stood, and pulled me up by the hand. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of wrong. If I was your girlfriend, would you think this is okay?”

“Hell yeah. I’d expect this shit to be a nightly event.”

“No. I mean with someone else.”

Trenton’s face fell. “Definitely not.”

“Mmk, then. Let’s watch the Forty-Niners get their asses kicked, and then you can tell Raegan you did your duty.”

“My duty? Raegan didn’t tell me to come over here. She just said you were alone and bored.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No way, Cami, I’m taking full credit for this one. I don’t need anyone convincing me to hang out with you.”

I smiled, and then turned up the volume.

“So, Cal said that for sure he’s going to need someone at the desk.”

“Oh, yeah?” I said, still watching the television. “Are you going to apply?”

Trenton laughed once. “He said, and I quote, ‘Someone hot, Trent. Someone with nice tits.’ ”

“Every girl’s dream job. Answering phones and handing out waivers while being ordered around by a sexist asshole.”

“He’s not an asshole. Sexist, yes, but not an asshole.”

“No, thank you.”

Just then my phone buzzed. I dug into the space between the arm and the couch cushion to get it. It was Coby.

So . . . bad news.

What?

I got a final notice for my car payment.

Pay your bill, doofus.

I’m a little behind. I was wondering if you could spot me some cash.

My blood ran cold. The last time Coby got behind on his bills, it was because he was sinking his entire paycheck into steroids. Coby was the shortest of my brothers, but he was the thickest, both in body mass and in brains. He was hot tempered, but the way he was behaving at the Red Friday night should have been a red flag.

Are you using again?

Really, Cami? Goddamn . . .

Really. Are you using?

No.

Lie to me again, and you can explain to Dad where your car went when it gets repo’d.

It took him several minutes to respond.

Yeah.

My hands began to shake, but I managed to keep typing.

You enroll in a program, show me the proof. I’ll pay the bill. Deal?

That could be next week.

Take it or leave it.

Fuck you, Cami. You’re such a self-righteous bitch sometimes.

Maybe, but I’m not the one who’s going to be without a car in a few weeks.

Fine. Deal.

I took a deep breath and let the phone fall to my lap. If I’m going to help out Coby, I need a second job.

Trenton watched me with concern in his eyes. “You okay?”

I was quiet for a long time, and then slowly met Trenton’s eyes. “Cal’s really looking for a receptionist?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll give him a call tomorrow.”