Box Nine

Chapter Three

Ike opens the door with that annoying isn’t-it-a-great-day smile on his face. Lenore walks in nodding and saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, just tell me the coffee’s ready.”

She sits down at his butcherblock table and grabs the front section of the newspaper and says, “I don’t have much time. Jesus, did you burn the toast again?”

She doesn’t expect an answer and he doesn’t offer one. Instead he slides a brimming mug of jet-black and steaming hot coffee in front of her. The mug is green and says in bold, black letters: Don’t Speak to Me till This Mug Is Empty. Lenore scans the headlines and mutters, “God, these Muslims are really stepping over the line.”

Ike sits down opposite her, stays silent but drums his fingers on the table in a way he knows upsets her. Lenore knows he knows and so looks up from the paper, head cocked and smiling.

• • •

Yesterday, all day long, Ike had this crazy idea that mushroomed. He’d been thinking about a dinner he’d had with Lenore, American chop suey and garlic bread. And like most of the dinners they shared together, Lenore’s plate had gone cold while she told Ike the details of a recent bust. Lenore could tell a tremendous story. She started slowly and built a solid, well-defined foundation. She gave you a quick rundown on all the key players and, though brief, her descriptions were always so unique you never had any trouble keeping characters straight. She used an impressive array of cop jargon without sounding forced or clichéd, without sounding like some 1970s TV show. She gave you a basic idea of the history of the particular dealers she was after, the cities they were out of, the families they did their bartering with, the prisons they’d done their time in. And then she’d start hitting you with the procedural stuff, how they built a case, who’d gone undercover, who’d applied pressure to whom, who was tailed and who was bugged, and who was roughed up.

But, without a doubt, Lenore’s forte, her real, natural talent, was given full play when she narrated the actual arrest, when her voice would kick into that low, machine-gun rhythm and she’d manage to detail every angle of the climax, the broken-down doors, the screaming in many languages, the drawn weapons and flushing toilets, the cursing and face slapping and biting, and, of course, as dependable as Jack Webb, the reading of the Miranda card, the recitation of civil rights due all in the process of arrest.

Ike loves Lenore’s stories. He could listen for hours. He wishes he had that ability, to create a clear and fluid picture of confusing events. He wishes he had the energy and intelligence and, maybe, confidence to make it exciting but plausible, well paced but detailed.

And then, yesterday, while breaking down a basket of flats by zip code, the thought hit him in one quick burst: he could record Lenore’s voice. He could get her stories down on tape. And, even better, he could transcribe the tapes onto paper, type them up at night. If the stories enthrall him, he’s sure they would grab others. He and Lenore could turn a good buck on them. He ached for the day to go by so he could hit her with the idea and see how she felt. He’d stress that she wouldn’t have to do a thing, just sit and eat and talk like always. He’d take care of the rest. He assured himself that even if she were hesitant for some reason, he’d stress the possibility of big, fast income and the things it could buy: that Porsche she mentions every week, the Soloflex machine she keeps reading about.

• • •

“So,” Ike says.

Lenore raises her eyebrows.

“Well?” he tries.

She shrugs.

“Just tell me. Did you break it off or not?”

She sighs, drops the paper to the table, sinks back into the chair, lets her mouth drop open slightly. They stare at each other until she gives in and says, “Look, Ike, what do you want? I worked eighteen hours straight, okay? There were other people around us most of that time. I couldn’t …”

“C’mon, sis,” Ike says, looking down to the table, shaking his head, “there were people there? The whole time?”

“What I’m saying is, I didn’t get the right opportunity, okay? Hey, believe me, I’ve ended more relationships than you’ve ever started, all right? I want to do this correctly.”

Ike is smiling now, looking up at the ceiling, his head bent all the way back on his neck. “You want to keep him on the line. You want to play with him a little. And …”

He pauses to annoy her, and though she knows that’s the plan, she gives in to it and says, “Yeah, what?”

Ike brings his head up and stares at her, then he shrugs and says, “And you’re not so sure he’ll be that easy to replace down at the Route 61 Motor Lodge …”

There’s a long, weird pause that hangs between them, then Lenore bursts out laughing, shakes the table, spills a little coffee, and says, “Jesus, Ike, who’re you kidding?”

For a second, Ike doesn’t know what to do, then he joins in, spontaneously letting out a squeal, thrilled to hear his sister laugh.

The sound dies out into long, breath-grabbing gasps and then it’s quiet in the kitchen again.

“You want some fruit or something?” Ike asks.

Lenore shakes her head. “No thanks. They’ll have Danish or donuts at the briefing.” She sips at her mug, then asks, “Hey, Ike, I was wondering, you planning on taking any vacation time? You got a lot of vacation time saved up, right?”

“I’ve got, like, four weeks coming.”

“I was thinking, we should hit the Caribbean, you know, some nice island. Or maybe Bermuda or someplace. We should check it out.”

Ike hesitates. “I don’t know, Lenore. We’re talking big dollars for a trip like that. Two or three grand just for a week.”

She shakes her head. “No way. Where did you hear those prices? Shaw was telling me she went to Aruba for under a grand …”

“Yeah, okay,” Ike spits out, “but when did she go? That’s the whole thing. You go in like August or something and it’s a big difference. I mean who wants to go in August?”

Lenore stares, sucks her cheeks in slightly, lets them out, and says, “Ike, you could choke the enthusiasm out of anything.”

“Look, Lenore, it’s the same old argument. You never think about the future. About security. You don’t have a dime in the bank, right? You make good money, but you don’t save a thing. You want to buy some expensive weight machine. You want to buy a new car. You want to buy another rifle. Now it’s a Caribbean vacation …”

“All right, all right,” she cuts him off. “It was just an idea. Forget it. It was just a thought.”

Ike sees an opportunity and before he can think too much he says, “You know, sis, you are right about me being a pain in the ass about things like this …”

“I didn’t say—” she interrupts.

“No, no,” he interrupts, “you’re right. I mean, you might be a little, I don’t know, impractical. But I’m just way too cautious. It’s the truth. I mean, even at work, you know, it’s a problem. It can be annoying.”

“You’re just a little too …” She looks for the word. “Conservative. Restrained.”

“No, it’s the truth. I admit it. On the money.”

“You’ve just got to loosen up a little, Ike. For your own good.”

“Absolutely right,” he says.

They stare at each other, silent, Ike’s head sort of bobbing nervously inside the collar of his powder-blue shirt. He runs a finger around his lips, as if he were some skier applying antichapping gel. He says, “No, you’re right. I’ve been thinking about this. Got to open up more, right? And I was thinking, you could help me on this, Lenore. And it could prove pretty beneficial to you as a bonus.”

She gives him the same look she uses on informants when she hates their story.

“What I was thinking, you know, there are ways of supplementing your income, okay, there are things we could do. Together.”

Lenore pulls her mug from her lips and spills a big puddle of it onto the table. She’s laughing again, shaking her head, holding up her right hand in a “stop” sign, trying to swallow, breathe, and talk at the same time.

“Oh no,” she finally manages. “What? Tell me. Amway? I’m not selling Amway, Ike. No way. You’d be hiding in the other room watching TV while I was writing up orders for discount soap, right? Unh-uh.”

Ike gets a dishrag from the sink and slowly mops up her coffee.

“It’s not Amway,” he says very slowly, letting her know he’s a little hurt.

“Okay, good,” Lenore says. “So what, then? You’ve been staying up late watching those guys in the polyester suits on those weird cable stations?”

“What guys?”

“You know. Those guys. There’re all those guys. And they buy all this time on cable at like three A.M., right? They list them as ‘paid commercial announcements’ in TV Guide. They’ve all got a gimmick and usually it’s got to do with real estate. Like buying up foreclosed properties at government auctions and stuff. Though I guess they’re branching out, ’cause I’ve seen them do shows on like getting fifty credit cards and tapping them all for cash advances …”

“You watch this stuff,” Ike says, straightening up from the table, incredulous, the dishrag hanging from his hand.

Lenore hesitates, then says, “Well, if I can’t sleep …”

Ike interrupts. “Lenore,” he says, genuinely astounded by her, “you get like twenty hours’ sleep a week, you know. I mean, you work ridiculous hours. So when you get to come home, I can’t believe …”

She’s defensive. She says, “Yeah, well, it’s not always so easy to fall off, Ike. I mean, I’m not like you …”

“I don’t sleep that great, believe me,” he says.

There’s quiet again. They both stare at the floor until Ike says, “I still don’t get the credit card thing. I mean, you’ve got to pay all the cash advances back, right? So how does that put money in your pocket?”

“I think it’s what you do with the money before the bill comes. It’s like some fast turnover, some quick thirty-day investment or something. I don’t know. It’s not like I pay attention.”

Ike considers this, then says, “It’s just, I think you could find a cooking show or something. Even the religious channels …”

Lenore rolls her eyes. “Oh, for Christ sake, Ike, I’d rather watch a nature show on snakes or rats. The religious channels, Jesus.”

“They can be pretty interesting,” Ike says, “you pick the right one …”

Lenore’s not about to give on this point. “They’re all scumbags,” she says. “Every one.”

“I guess,” Ike says. He knows that now it’ll be close to impossible to sell her on the crime-novel idea.

“What day are you off this week?” Lenore asks.

“Don’t know yet. Ms. Barnes hasn’t done the schedule yet.”

Lenore’s eyes bug out of her head. “Ms. Barnes,” she repeats, making the name sound ridiculous.

“Give me a break,” Ike says, walking to the sink to wash out the rag.

“Ms. Barnes?” Lenore says louder, more sarcastic.

Ike turns around and folds his arms across his chest. “Well, what the hell should I call her?”

“Well, God, Ike,” she says, “it sounds like she’s your third-grade teacher, c’mon. Jees, it sounds worse than that. It sounds like she’s your third-grade teacher and you’ve got a crush on her, you know.”

Ike breathes in and out through his nose and says, “Yeah, well, it’s getting late, okay?”

“Okay, all right,” Lenore says, smiling, pleased with herself. “I’m sorry. But you’ve got to admit … Ms. Barnes. C’mon, Ike.”

“So what do I say, ‘the supervisor’? ‘My supervisor’? That sounds worse.”

“No,” says Lenore, “it doesn’t sound worse. What’s her first name?”

Ike clears his throat and says, “Eva.”

“Eva,” Lenore repeats. “I like that. Why wouldn’t you call her Eva?”

“Yeah,” Ike says, “why don’t you just call Miskewitz Henry, right? You just don’t. God, Lenore, why don’t you call Zarelli Franny? That’s his name, right? But you don’t.”

“I call Miskewitz Lieutenant,” Lenore says.

“Well, we don’t have ranks, you know.”

“I guess,” Lenore says. She’d like to press this Eva thing, dig a little and find out what makes Ike so touchy on the subject. But it’s getting late and she wants to choose her seat at the conference table before the rest sit down.

“Listen, Lenore,” Ike says, “about this extra-income thing …”

She waves him off and gulps down the rest of her coffee. “Save it for dinner, okay? I’m running late.”

She jumps up from the table like someone had sent a jolt of electricity through her spine. She moves toward the back door like her feet were on fire, kisses Ike on the forehead, pulls open the door, and steps outside. She starts to walk around the house to her car, then stops for a second.

Inside, Ike hears her yell, “Say hi to Ms. Barnes for me,” in a sing-song, laugh-choked voice.

He whispers to himself, “How can we possibly be related?” and pushes the back door closed with his foot.

He moves to the counter, bobs his tea bag. He thinks it wasn’t that long ago that Lenore felt like a real twin. Someone must have really known who was older, who came out first. But Ma would never tell, always pleading ignorance. Knowing always mattered more to Lenore anyway. Ike was content, happy even, being half of a set. And he liked the paradox, even as a kid, instinctively, so connected, but so tremendously different. Not in the classic sense, not any light or dark deal, where one of them was the evil twin. That’d be too easy. It was more like a division of qualities. Lenore, Ike thought, came into the world, for whatever reason, with strength, power, conviction. Ike always thought her abundance of these traits derived from his lack of them. She got his share. But in their wake there were other things. Some awful, like chronic doubt and indecisiveness, but others desirable, like an easy ability to listen and observe. In some ways, Ike thinks, he’s a perfect spy. He’s almost invisible to most people, but he hears every word they speak, sees every muscle contract or expand. And he can remember it all. He’s got a memory like some flawless Japanese camcorder. Both auditory and visual.

Ike thinks suddenly of how many people must fear Lenore. Probably more people fear his sister than Eva, his supervisor. Lenore comes into contact with more people than Eva. She touches more lives and in a much rougher way. And Lenore carries a huge weapon with her, day and night, that could blow pieces of your anatomy into dust. She carries a badge that enables her to pull you off any street in the city, slap you on the hood of a car, turn all your pockets inside out, run her hands over every inch of your body, insult your heritage or looks, and ask questions about your habits and whereabouts on any given night. Ike realizes that, to someone she doesn’t love, Lenore could be the nightmare that never ends.

Ike fishes his tea bag out of his mug, squeezes it dry against the side of the mug, then dumps it in the basket. He gets the milk from the refrigerator, empties the last of it into the tea, and tosses the carton. He brings the mug to his lips, blows over the surface of the tea for a few seconds, then sips and burns his tongue. He puts the mug down on the table to cool, and wonders who would come out on top in a matchup between Eva and Lenore. Who would he bet on? They have such different methods. Eva is so cool and controlled, she’s like a machine that was built with care and intelligence, made to give the maximum work, at the maximum efficiency, and to last for years to come. Lenore, on the other hand, is all fireworks, all noise and light. She’s perpetually explosive. She makes every decision on the verge of violence. Just watching TV with her can be a draining, punishing experience. Once they watched The Exorcist together, late on a Saturday night. Ike was a lot more afraid of his twin sister than he was of any demon. She spent two hours snarling right back at the screen, warning Satan to leave poor little Linda Blair alone or she’d “waste his pathetic ass back to hell.” Toward the end, Ike prayed that she wouldn’t go next door and come back with her Magnum, pull an Elvis, and blow his Sony into hundreds of pieces.