Eveline

Chapter 2

Our reduced establishment closed early. By eleven o'clock all the inmates had retired for the night. Mrs. Lockett was heard to shut and turn the key. I thoroughly believe John had purposely rusted that lock. Sometimes a drop of salt water is as useful as oil-but in a contrary sense. At midnight the mansion was wrapped in slumber-all save John and I. At a quarter past twelve I admitted the footman. I lay with him that night. He entered noiselessly. He had on felt slippers. I had thought of all. We were absolutely safe and alone. It was delicious to feel free to gratify all one's voluptuous inclinations and indulge without restraint all one's libidinous ideas and conceptions. One great advantage was that, under the circumstances, my stallion-for so I considered him-could mount me-neigh and whinny without fear and to his heart's content. My greedy nerves vibrated as I closed the door of my chamber after the impatient fellow. I motioned him to a seat. He submitted with the prompt obedience of a well-trained menial. We neither of us spoke. He watched me as I undressed. I intentionally afforded him a delicious prospect. I saw his hands clench-his lips quiver-his nostrils dilate as he took in all the points I wantonly exposed for his intoxication. I let fall my skirts. I stood in my chemise, my stockings, and my corset. His greedy eyes followed every movement. I knew I was working the man into a state of almost unendurable longing. It was delightful to me. I grew excited beyond measure. I watched the keen, fierce, lecherous spirit overpowering all reserve-all prudence. I threw myself upon the large soft couch.

"John, you may undress. I wish to see you naked."

It had pleased me to act the school miss in my intercourse with this man. It seemed to come natural to me. It served as a silly excuse for my precocious wantonness. It assuaged my amour proper. It gave me unbounded confidence in my character of an innocent led astray by the blandishments of a good-looking, full-grown man. John's natural vanity did the rest. To him I was the condescending young lady of the house seduced by his modest behaviour, his rich livery. Above all by his manly proportions and his capacity for affording her sensuous delight.

I therefore looked on while John cast off his coat and divested himself of his striped waistcoat, depositing both within the room adjoining. Then came the turn of his scarlet breeches. I smiled at the semi-modest, stupid air with which he let them fall. My mouth watered and my lips parted at the sight of his erected limb, his hairy belly, as his shirt flew up.

"Come here, John. I want to feel your Robin."

In another second, my stallion was beside me. My eager hand closed around his huge member. I shook it. I caressed it. I lowered my head. I sucked it. It was delicious to my overwrought nerves. I took his big testicles in my grasp. I played with them.

"How shall we do it, John?"

"You'll let me do the job for you this time-won't you, miss? Right into you, I mean, miss. I'll do it beautiful! You'll feel as if you were in heaven when Robin is pushing himself up and down your beautiful little belly. It's all very well against the door, standing up, but lying down with your sweet legs open, he goes at it so free. He seems to get up almost to your waist, miss."

As if to give point to his argument, the rampant fellow opened my thighs. His face went between; his eager tongue inserted itself in my moist slit. I was in no humor to refuse him anything. I bore down on his thick, sensual lips. The scenes of the past day came back to me. They passed as in a panorama before my closed eyes. John luxuriated in his prurient employment. I seemed to be exhaling for his delight the concentrated essence of previous luxury. The thought added poignancy to the sensations he forced upon me. I shivered with ecstasy.

"Oh, John-dear John-you are making me come!"

The delighted footman reveled in the solution of bygone pleasures with which I now liberally bedewed him. I rose to my feet. I beheld his strong member, red-headed, stiff as a bar of metal, menacing an onslaught upon my delicate person. I saw him gloating over my naked slit.

"Hush, John! Whisper only. How shall we do it, dear John?"

He clasped me to him. He pressed his big hairy chest to my tender form. He carried me towards the bed. He sat me on it.

"Oh, miss, do let me do it so. Let me put it into you. See how stiff I am. It's bursting, nearly. It's so full of the white stuff you are so fond of."

"So, John-on the side of the bed. Now push it into me-oh! Oh! How big you are, John! Oh! Oh! Go slowly-it hurts! Oh!"

Huge as it was, the thing went in-up me, till I felt the two big testicles pressed against my bottom. My stallion was at work upon me. The lewd fellow lolled back his head. He rolled his eyes in his luxury. His hands clutched nervously at my haunches as he pulled me toward him. Then he thrust slowly in and out-up and down in my little belly where he had said he longed to be.

I love to look on a man in this condition, filled with a bestial sense of desire unappeased, struggling in his libidinous embrace, his eyes turned up and vacuous, or burning with fierce lust at the contemplation of the object of his passion extended and at his mercy beneath him. The picture is a delicately delicious one to my luxurious temperament-it enhances enormously my own enjoyment. It is the sacrifice of modesty upon the altar of lust-it is the reversal of all that is reserved, becoming, and dignified. It is its enormity which is its charm. It is its utter abnegation of personal respect, the prostitution of virtue to vulgar passion which is its fascination.

The enjoyment of my poor John, alas, came to its end as all things must. It grew too poignant to last and it burst. I was the recipient of his exhaustive efforts. He left me bathed in his erotic efforts to my intense enjoyment, and to his loss.

"A telegram for you, Miss Eveline. I would not disturb you sooner. Fanny told me you had given orders not to be awakened."

"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Lockett; but I have been awake already a couple of hours. I have even had my tub, as you see."

I tore open the telegram. It was from Eastbourne-from Percy.

"Mother has suffered a fresh attack, is extremely unwell. Lord L- desires you to remain. Await further news."

The "further news" arrived an hour later. I had anticipated. It was from the local medical practitioner.

"Lord L desires me to inform you that Lady L succumbed at three o'clock this morning. He is much distressed but is writing particulars. He begs you to be calm."

I passed over those particulars. They have no place here. Enough that Lady L had paid the inevitable penalty of her folly and that poor papa was free. Sippett lost a profitable employment. I was told that her luggage was heavy and voluminous when she went away.

"A gentleman to see you, miss. He says he has come on business. I told him you could see no one but he insisted-here is his card."

"Mr. William Dragon, Bow Street. Quite right, John. I will see this gentleman. Show him into Lord L 's study. I will come up directly."

The blinds were down. The house had already assumed the usual hypocritical, dolorous, and lackadaisical appearance of society grief. At such times one receives odd visitors-always on business, of course. It was not yet ten o'clock. The situation was already quite conventional. Everyone went about their duties as usual, only they spoke lower and whispered, and looked solemn instead of simpering.

"I should not have called, but that I thought I could do so without fear under present circumstances. I was already in the street and on my errand when the boy left the first telegram. We had the news at six this morning direct to Bow Street."

"I am sure you are very good and you would not have come unless for some useful object. I feel bewildered."

"I know-I know. Do not trouble to explain. I only want to caution you. Of course, I know your position is a little-just a little-difficult. Take my advice-will you? That's right. I knew you would-for it is honest. Do not delay your marriage. Listen to me: I told you-little Beauty-once, not long ago, your fortune lay at your feet. You had only to stoop and win it. It lies so still. But you must act."

"How do you mean? What must I do?"

Dragon looked cautiously round. He even closed the slide over the keyhole. He waited a moment and listened acutely.

"I know much more than you think. Your groom is not to be trusted. Young men are vain and they boast. He is steady, but he is no better than his fellows. You have elected to pick up what lay at your feet. Another trouble may arise. Women are plotting. They are devils when they are jealous. Do not delay on account of what has happened. Try to shorten the time. Lord Endover is surrounded by interested toadies. Women are there in his councils also. You are safe yet. Strike the iron while it is hot; you know what I mean. Do not give him time to let them get at him. They will ruin you if they can."

He looked at me appealingly. His manner was most respectful.

"I really hardly see-and yet I know you are good and honest in what you say. Frankly, I will take your advice. You frighten me. I thought I was so safe-so guarded."

"So you are as yet. That is why I have come to reassure you and to caution you. I know all that passes about Endover. Take my advice. And now goodbye. Look all the facts in the face and-marry him quick!"

Dragon rose. He bowed with an almost mock solemnity which had its significance. In another moment he was gone.

The day passed wearily enough. In the afternoon, Lord Endover called. He was all sympathy and condolence. His passion was obviously at its zenith. He regarded me evidently as the object of his most cherished desires. The position was difficult. I told him I had not yet seen my papa. I would consult him. My fiance was evidently alarmed lest a long delay should be added to his probation. I did my best to reassure him. He quitted me in better spirits. He had my permission to return the day following. I told him he was welcome. I said I desired his companionship and his advice. He left me much pleased and flattered.

I passed the evening with Mrs. Lockett. She brought her needlework to my sitting room. At an early hour I returned to rest. She supplied the place of my maid. I had never known the tender offices of a mother. I was grateful for her sympathy. I cried myself to sleep.

When I rose next morning, I had resolved all my difficulties. I had made my plans. I prepared to put them into execution.

For malignity there is no expression to equal the intensity of the simple pronoun "she," hissed through the lips in an undertone when a woman speaks of another member of her sex behind her back. It seems to convey not only the absence of all respect, but the full measure of contempt which the utterer can ring to bear on an absent, and possibly an innocent acquaintance.

I felt I was being discussed, and probably in quarters where I desired to appear at my best. I felt quite equal to the emergency, but there was no time to be lost. I resolved to act at once. Thanks to Dragon, I was warned and therefore armed.

"Ah! What a pleasure, I never expected to see you, my lovely one, this morning-and so early too! Why, business has been so dull lately that I have closed quite early. The season is a lot too good for us doctors; no cold, no bronchitis! What is London coming to? But you look anxious and not quite so well as usual."

"Well, I am very glad to see you; all the same, I am not quite so well perhaps as usual. I have had bad news. No, do not ask me about it. You remember our compact. It is because I rely on your word of honor that I am here. I want your advice. I have lost a relative, but that is not the immediate cause of my visit. It has raised complications. I am uncertain what to do for the best."

My tall, fair, young disciple of Aesculapius consigned the care of the establishment to his lad. He ushered me into his back parlor with a look of radiant delight on his handsome face.

"Now, my beautiful! Tell me how I can be of use. I am entirely at your service. I hope the matter is not very grave. You look weary."

"You remember the conclusions you arrived at with regard to the difficult in the way of-of-well, I need not be reserved with you, my friend-I mean in the way of conception?"

"Certainly I do, and I am still of that opinion. I am absolutely certain that every physician who took the same pains in the examination and who was proficient in his practice would confirm them."

"Then you are still sure that I could not bear a child to my husband if I married?"

"Quite sure-nor, for the matter of that, to anyone else."

"But that if I submitted myself to an operation-a slight operation, in that case-I should have the same chance as other healthy young women?"

"Exactly so. I believe more than an even chance, because you are so beautifully-so perfectly formed. Without going into professional particulars, let me tell you: You should sit for a friend of mine who is an artist, as our mother Eve, for your figure is the perfection of all that is desirable for the procreation of the race."

"Oh, you wicked serpent! But seriously, is that your solemn declaration? Much may depend upon your reply."

"It is, my Eve, my most serious opinion, which you may have confirmed any day you please."

He had placed me in his easy chair. He now came and sat beside me. His face wore an anxious and dejected look.

"So you are going to be married. I might have guessed so beautiful a young girl with so much self-possession, forgive me for saying so, with so much force of character, would not be long without a choice of husbands."

"You may be right, but what then? We are already very good friends."

"There, my darling, we are good friends, and if I could think-well, let me explain. If you would not give me up altogether, but if you would come to me sometimes, I-well, I should not be jealous."

I felt piqued. I hardly knew why. He seemed almost to catch at the idea of my marrying as something to be desired, and yet he was not at his ease. He waited a moment. He evidently saw my perplexity. Then he continued: "To be plain with you, my sweet little friend, you are the most delicious girl I ever had in all my life. I have always had a fancy for married women. If only you were really married you would drive me mad with lust to enjoy you. Your enchantment would simply be doubled."

"Is that so? If that is your whim, I will not fail to gratify it. You shall have me all to yourself as soon after I am married as I can contrive it. Are you satisfied?"

He took me in his arms. He became furiously indecent. His face, his voice, his movements all united to betray the desire which raged within him.

"Oh, my darling, my love! You have given me such pleasure. You promise me? You will? You will let me have you first after your marriage?"

"I promise!"

We were standing face to face. He pushed me towards the wall. He pressed himself lewdly upon me. He covered my face with hot kisses and took me in his arms. In a second his trousers were open and my hand closed on his limb.

"Oh, how stiff you are! What a size! Do you really like married women? Are they so nice? Is it a part of your enjoyment to know you are committing a real adultery?"

"It is horribly-awfully delicious to enjoy a married woman. Your promise maddens me. I consider you are one already. Come, let me have you! I must! I want you so bad! What lovely legs! Don't try to stop my hand! Oh, yes, skin back my thing. That is so nice, your fingers are so warm and soft. Kiss-kiss me! Give me your tongue. You would like to suck it? So then-take it between your pretty lips. What a stupid fool your husband must be! I am going to spend into his wife's belly."

He seized me in his arms. He lifted me panting, my lips exhaling the ambrosia of his huge tool. He laid me on the sofa. He was evidently madly excited with his strange, lecherous idea. I determined to encourage it.

"But what would he say? I am his property now. I cannot really let you abuse me. Oh, stop! Fie, take your hand away! oh! You are so strong-so cruel to me."

He forced me down. He pressed his long and powerful form upon me. My thighs were easily parted. His stiff limb wagged between them. I felt him divide the moist lips. The next moment he was into me.

"Oh, Christ! What a lovely girl you are! How tight it is! There! There! Now take it quite in! Does that please you? Is that better than your husband's? What a fool! What an idiot! I'm going to spend into his wife!"

"Oh, shameful! Let me go-you must not finish! Take it out! What would he say! Don't you know you are committing adultery?"

"Yes, that's it! Adultery! Oh, how tight you are, my little married friend! No-I shall not take it out! I shall spend into you-do you hear? Right up into your delicious little womb."

"Oh, my poor husband! You are killing me with your great thing! What will he say? Oh! Oh! You are going to spend! You are coming! Oh! Oh, so-so-am I! Oh! The syringe! Oh! What a stream! Oh! Oh!"

A few hours later, my wedding was fixed to take place within three months. Lord Endover left me in a transport of pleasure. He declared his intention to come very frequently if I would allow him to do so. I was most amiable. He received every assurance of my affectionate consideration.

I think I have already demonstrated that I am a hypocrite. Society obliges everyone to be a hypocrite. The difference is only in degree; the necessity is universal. I never care to do things by halves. I am therefore a very great hypocrite. The higher your position in society, the more consummate must be your hypocrisy. The attribute begins with the highest. Is not every evasion of the truth a smooth-a plausible hypocrisy? Nobody believes it all the same; that is the strangest part of it. It is offered and accepted. Everybody excuses it, weighs it at its own fictitious value, and passes it on. "Tell the truth and shame the devil! — that somewhat shabby proverb goes a certain way. I almost think, after a careful study of the subject, that society would be more ashamed, in spite of its usual disregard of that sentiment, if it had to tell the truth. Weighing one opinion with the other, I fancy His Satanic Majesty is decidedly in the background. He could set to work to render his own society so much more select if he only would-there being so much material to choose from. A just sense of the value of hypocrisy, of its judicious use, its employment, is absolutely necessary if you would shine in the flickering light of society. Yet I am not afraid of criticism. I defy criticism to do me any harm. It could certainly not do me any good. No more than Marie Corelli herself. But I have no necessity to rack my brains to produce demons and divinities. I find, in my exalted position, enough of both in society itself. I meet in every salon, in every boudoir, the saintly canon who cannot keep his fingers off his choristers; the elderly lording who ages the vices of a Domitian or a Nero; the minister of religion who ministers to the lambs of his flock in more senses than one; and the blatant, pretentious man about town who divides his attention between his exaggerated shirt collar and his simpering partner. He would delight to be "the very devil himself," if he only knew how! There, too, are the lonely, loving hearts, who in that never resting vortex watch long and sadly for the coming of the one they dreamed of in days now gone, or who mourn unceasingly the one who will never return-whose hope never flags, whose faith is intact beneath the false mask they must wear-who will be as content as I shall be to give up all-to submit to the inevitable when it comes.