Fifteen Minutes

chapter 16

The insanity of the next week was marked by rare quiet moments, usually in black Escalades or Hummer limos, when all Zack could think about were the words of Chandra Olson. Her story and her warning.

Her insistence that fame was a prison.

Zoey had cooled toward him, but only because she was hurt. That much was obvious to Zack, but apparently not to the producers. They placed the two of them in the same group for every activity, every red-carpet moment and photo shoot. Every rehearsal. By the time Thursday came, when it was time for a Disney movie premiere at Radio City Music Hall, neither of them was surprised when the production assistants asked them to walk the red carpet together. “Hold his arm,” one of them told Zoey. “Make it look good.”

She followed instructions, but along the way she whispered through her smile. “Sorry. This wasn’t my idea.”

“Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault.” He spoke without moving his smiling lips as cameras took a thousand pictures. Against his will, something inside him enjoyed her nearness, the fact that they were talking again.

He hadn’t exactly been kind to her. He had no reason to be angry with her. When he thought about it, the kiss in the hallway wasn’t totally her fault. Guilt crept into his heart as they found their way into the theater. Zack was aware of her every move and comment, and he realized something else. In a way he couldn’t explain, this past week he had missed her. They sat together when the movie started, and halfway through, under the veil of darkness, he reached for her hand. “I’m not mad at you,” he whispered. “There’s so much pressure. Everything’s crazy.”

She worked her fingers between his and for a few seconds she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.” Her voice was loud enough only for him. “I needed to hear that. I never . . . I never planned to kiss you.”

“Me, either.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then released it. The friendship they shared was real. No one else could understand what they were going through.

Zack settled back in his seat and remembered what he could about the week. Every time he tried to speak to Reese since the show premiered things had been strained. He wasn’t sure what to say, how to bridge the gap. He told her how his words of praise to God had been cut from his post-audition interview, and how they’d forced him to do the Tebow. How he and Zoey were only friends.

What he didn’t tell Reese was how it bugged him this week when Zoey kept her distance. Now he felt her arm against his, and this time he didn’t move away. Friends could be close and not cross lines. This was one of those situations.

He blinked and tried to focus on the movie. But his life kept interfering. Whatever the situation with Zoey, Reese believed him, which only made it worse. Zack tried to convince himself that there was truth to his statement. There was no romance with Zoey, nothing Reese had to worry about. When all this insanity was over, Reese would still have his heart. His love would be hers alone. Zack had no doubt. But then what was he feeling for Zoey here in the shadows of the theater?

Deep compassion, maybe. Friendship, certainly.

Whatever it was, the words he said to Reese—and those he didn’t say—felt bitter on his tongue, acid on his heart and soul. He still believed that whenever he came home, he would explain it all to her, even the kiss. But that talk needed to happen in person. He wanted to look into her eyes and pray she would understand. As for whatever this was with Zoey, well, he couldn’t even explain that to himself.

All he knew was that life was suddenly insane for all of them. But especially for him and Zoey. There was a sense that the two of them would glide through the second round of auditions and well beyond. Like Chandra said, their Twitter accounts continued to blow up. After Monday’s show someone started #ZackandZoey, and for a few hours yesterday it was trending in the top twenty.

Who else but Zoey could understand how different life had become, how surreal? He felt the warmth of her beside him. She was pretty, but what he felt for her wasn’t a typical attraction. She understood. Maybe that was all. At a time when there was no way Reese or anyone else back home could begin to understand, Zoey did. With a glance she could relate to the pressure and the changes in their schedule and the loss of privacy. And most of all the giant called fame beating down their doors.

Chandra was right. Zack still found ways to mention God, but each time Gaines told him to cool it. People were looking for success and star quality. Not preaching. Zack wanted to be both a light and a team player. So for a few days he hadn’t talked at all about his faith or his family. He could justify the decision. They had too many other things to talk about. Besides, maybe Gaines was right about overdoing it. No one was questioning Zack’s faith just because he’d cooled his references to it. His number of followers was growing faster than ever, which could only be good. Because one day when he was off the show he could reach even more people with the truth about Jesus.

The movie played on, but Zack didn’t catch a single word. Outside of a car ride, this was the first time any of them had been able to sit all week. Just sit for more than a couple minutes and think about what was happening. Here in the dark, no one was shoving a microphone in his face or taking his picture, no production assistants were prompting him to give the cameras his best smile or response or angle. Zack breathed out and felt himself relax. Chandra Olson came to mind again. Her advice had been simple.

Run.

Leave the show, go back home, and never look back. Zack pictured the passion in her face that night in the dark hallway. Chandra hated fame—no question. The crazy thing was the world had no idea how she felt. Chandra played the part of a celebrity with grace and poise, smiling for the cameras and answering questions with thoughtful consideration. She signed autographs and stayed safely between her bodyguards wherever she went. She’d taken cameo roles in movies, endorsed a cosmetic line, and had a perfume named after her. Every song she sang found its way to the top of the charts.

Chandra Olson was as A-list as she could get, and yet she hated the fame, every single second of it.

Zack thought he understood Chandra’s strategy. Better to ride out the fame, own it. Zack shuddered. Was that what he wanted? He had wrestled with the question every possible moment since Chandra had talked to him. At this pace, he was headed fast toward fame, and yet the ride never felt as awful as Chandra described it. Sure, it was crazy, but most of the time he was having fun, and after coming this far, he couldn’t leave. Couldn’t consider walking away now. He had a list of reasons and a signed contract, promising he wouldn’t leave until he was kicked off, unless he got sick or had a family emergency.

He shifted in his theater seat. His family. Yes, that was another reason. There were still the matters of saving the farm, getting better doctors for AJ, making a life for Reese. He couldn’t let them down.

But all of it was happening too fast to consider the impact, whether down the road he would long for these days and the chance to walk away. Before fame became a prison for him, too. He believed Chandra that it could happen. She wasn’t the only one talking about it. Last night Gaines had patted him on the back while he ate. “The other teen heartthrobs keep messing up. Lucky for you.”

“What?” Zack turned to look at the contestant coordinator. “Who?”

“The big names. Their reputations are sinking like the Titanic.” Gaines gave Zack another hearty pat. “It’s your turn, my boy. Watch and see. You’re gonna be one of the biggest stars this show has ever created.”

Zack was glad none of the other contestants had heard him. No one but Zoey, who was sitting across from him. Their eyes met and what she had said stayed with him. “Ever get the feeling our lives are scripted? Whether we like it or not?”

Now a chase scene played out on the big screen, and Zoey leaned in closer. “Chandra talked to you the other night. I’ve been wanting to ask you about it, but people are always around.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t try to pull away. “She told me fame is a prison. After this week, I can sort of see what she means.”

“Hmm.” Zoey let that sink in and nodded slowly. “I feel you. It’s like . . . we never had a life before the show.”

She was right, even if the thought terrified him. Their routines had been lost. The usual communication with family and friends was gone.

For a long moment Zack wondered about Reese. In the few minutes they’d had to talk, he hadn’t done more than ask how she was. Her answer was always the same. “I’m great, Zack. Everything’s fine.”

Their lack of communication created a distance that again only Zoey could understand. The scene in the theater remained loud. He spoke near the side of her face. “How nice is this?”

“The quiet? I love it.”

He thought about the way she’d chased him the first two weeks and how she’d backed off. She understood that he was serious about Reese. “I mean, it’s been fun. But the craziness has to stop sometime.”

“Exactly.” She stole a glance at him. The shine was back in her eyes. “You still have to teach me to pray.”

“It’s easy. You just talk to God like He’s there beside you.” Zack smiled at her. “Because He is.”

“There’s more to it than that.” Her eyes held his. “We need to find time alone. So you can tell me what you believe and why. Deal?”

“Deal.” Zack felt a pang of guilt. How come he hadn’t already told her about his faith? She’d asked a number of times. Yes, they were busy, but what could be more important than telling a girl like Zoey about Jesus? Not that he could do that here in a theater. And with Gaines watching him so closely he would have to be quiet about it. He’d signed the agreement. But there had to be time, right? “Maybe later this week.”

Suddenly he realized how much he loved being able to talk without anyone taking their picture. Nights were for rehearsals and after that curfew was strictly enforced. Fifteen Minutes had leased an entire floor of hotel rooms at the Benjamin, not far from Times Square. But production assistants did a pretty good job of making sure contestants stayed in their rooms.

“You know what?” She took his hand again, but this time held it only for a few seconds. “This is the most like me I’ve felt all week.”

“Same.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re my friend. No one else understands.”

That truth should’ve terrified him, should’ve sent him running for Gaines and the permission to leave. Family emergency or not. Chandra had warned him, right? There would be no going back to life the way it had been. Instead, Zack wished the movie would last another hour. Reese didn’t know the insanity of what they were going through. She didn’t have to worry about people constantly taking her picture or making up stories about her. Only Zoey understood that. Which was why he wished they had more time. Because here, safe and unrushed, comfortable with Zoey at his side he felt something they had already left behind.

The feeling of being normal.