Filth

More Carole

I have to admit it, leaving Australia was a mistake. Bruce and I were at our happiest there. It was just that we went out to be with my mum and when my dad died she wanted to come back. There seemed no point in staying over there because Stacey was just a baby and she hadn’t started school. I know that I was selfish and that I didn’t really think of Bruce’s career. He was doing so well in the Sydney police. I think it’s diabolical that he had to return to Scotland on a lower grade than the one he was on in Australia.

I’m looking forward to seeing Bruce again, so we’ll be back together as a family; me, Bruce and our little girl Stacey. She has to accept the wrong she’s done and the hurt she’s caused everyone with her silly little lies. I often feel guilty, I feel that I should have taught her better, taught her the difference between right and wrong. She’s a good girl really though and it’s important for her to know that Bruce and I forgive her.

All families go through these kind of traumas and it’s important not to make more of these things than is necessary. It’s a complicated world enough to grow up in these days.

I am back in the bar again. Two men are looking at me. One says something that I don’t catch, but the hostility is unmistakable.

Why is it that a woman cannot drink alone?

You want me but you can’t have me.

Robertson’s my name.

I took the name of my man.

I am his.

If he was here now, he’d silence you, your leering, sneering faces. You would never be able to stand up to my Bruce. You’re not men.