Fragile Eternity

Chapter 10

“Are you sure you should move?” Aislinn cradled Keenan’s head in her lap. He seemed more embarrassed than injured, more upset than angry.

The imprint of her lips on his forehead and his cheeks glowed faintly in the dimness of the room. It made her feel guilty, this proof that she’d touched him. It wasn’t an intimate kiss. It wasn’t new. They’d discovered that her kiss healed him when she’d still been a mortal awaiting the test to be Summer Queen. But, in the wake of their recent kiss and in light of the shaming thoughts she’d had about him when she was captive to Niall, she felt embarrassed.

Keenan sat up and pulled away from her, forcing more distance between them than normal. “I don’t need coddling.”

“Are you okay? Dizzy?” she asked.

He sat on the floor beside her, but out of reach. He glared at Seth. “Seth must be thrilled.”

She froze. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame Seth for Niall’s anger.”

“Niall punched me for Seth.” He didn’t stand yet, and she was pretty certain it was because he wasn’t sure he could.

“And I went after Niall for you.”

Keenan smiled—cruelly. “Well, then.”

She glanced over at Seth, who had stopped midway across the room. He wasn’t likely to approach when he could tell that she and Keenan were arguing. He never treated her as anything less than an equal. “If you’d seen Niall…what he…when—”

Keenan was the one who froze this time. “When he what?”

“Niall is stronger than me.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “If Niall wanted to hurt me, he could’ve. There wasn’t anything I could do to stop him.”

“Did he hurt you?” He was suddenly closer, running his hands over her arms, reaching toward her as if to pull her to him.

And I want him to. It was instinct. It was also unnecessary: she was fine.

“Stop. I’m bruised, but that’s all…and that was my fault as much as his.” She blushed. “I lost my temper. He tried to walk away, but you were hurt and I was…furious.”

She recounted what he’d missed.

“And what did you feel against the shadows?” Keenan’s tone wasn’t hurt or angry now. It was a challenge, the same challenge he’d raised in their prior conversation. “What did you lust for?”

She ducked her head. “That doesn’t…I’m not…telling you. That wasn’t real. It was just a result of some perversion of—”

The words stopped, lies unable to be spoken.

“What you feel for me is not a perversion, Aislinn. Is it so hard to admit that? Can’t you give me that much?” He pushed, as if hearing her say it would change anything, as if that admission mattered as much as the Dark King striking him, as if their personal situation was of tantamount importance.

It isn’t.

“You already know the answer to that—and it doesn’t change anything. I love Seth.” With that, she stood and crossed the room. She tried to tuck that whole uncomfortable topic away as she went toward Seth.

He wasn’t happy either; it was plain on his face.

“He okay?” Seth asked grudgingly as they sat down at a battered table the guards had commandeered for them.

“His pride’s not, but his head seems to be.”

“You?” Seth didn’t push or hover. He trusted her enough to know she would’ve come to him if she needed something.

“Scared.”

“Niall’s…” He shook his head. “I don’t think he’d hurt you. Not really, but when you were in there, I wasn’t really sure. You looked scared when he pushed you against that cage thing. What was that?”

“Dark Court energy, like my sunlight and heat or Don’s ice. Niall’s is other stuff. Fear, anger, and lust. Dark Court things. Like Niall causes.”

“Lust?” Seth repeated.

She blushed.

And Seth said the words she wouldn’t: “But not for Niall.”

He glanced at Keenan, and she saw the sadness in Seth’s eyes. Then he reached out and took Aislinn’s hand.

No pressure. Even now. He trusted her.

The band had started as they sat there; Damali sang something about freedom and bullets. Her voice had an intensity that could carry the band good places, but the lyrics were dismal.

Silently, Keenan joined them at the table. He didn’t look any happier than she felt—or than she suspected Seth felt—with them all being there together.

When the song ended, Seth looked at him and said, “You okay?”

“Yes.” Keenan pressed his lips together in a cross between a grimace and a smile.

The next song began, sparing them from further attempts at civility.

Typically Aislinn wasn’t girlfriend-y in public, but she moved over to sit on Seth’s lap. He slid his arms around her and held on. Somehow, despite the noise of the band, it felt like a silence between them. It wasn’t anger, but it was weighty all the same. They both knew things were more precarious than either of them liked.

Across from her, Keenan caught her gaze before he left. It wasn’t a look she could—or wanted to—understand. Hurt? Angry? It didn’t really matter. All that she knew was that there was a tugging sensation, a compulsion to follow Keenan if he went too far from her side. Usually, if she ignored it long enough, it dulled—or maybe she simply stopped noticing it so much—but those first few moments after he left were horrible. It was growing worse each day. It was like refusing to breathe when she’d just surfaced from too long underwater, like telling her heart to stop its rapid rhythms when she’d been kissed almost long enough.

Seth brushed his fingertips over her cheek. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“I want it to be.” She leaned in to Seth’s touch. It was better to just be honest. Seth was her anchor, the only thing that made sense most days.

I really can tell him anything. He gets me. She felt foolish for keeping things from him. Again. He’d believed her when she first told him about faeries. He trusted her; she needed to work harder at returning that unwavering trust.

Seth could read her—not through some strange faery bond but because he knew her. It wasn’t why she loved him, but it was part of it. His calm, his honesty, his art, his passion, his words—there were more reasons to love him than she thought possible. Sometimes, it was hard to understand why he’d choose to be with her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I do. Just…not here, not right now.”

“Right. I’ll wait. Again.” Seth’s earlier frustration flashed on his face for a moment. “Maybe you should go rescue him from Glenn.”

“What?” She didn’t want to go rescue anyone; she wanted to stay in Seth’s arms. She wanted to find a way to tell him something inside her was messed up. She wanted to fix everything.

“Glenn’s on the bar tonight. You know he’s going to hassle Keenan if one of us isn’t over there, and I don’t think Keenan would appreciate my presence just now.”

“It was Niall, not you. Keenan should know that.”

Seth ignored this and said, “Go save your king, Ash. His pride’s already wounded, and he’s a prick when he’s feeling insulted.”

Keenan came back first. He handed a beer to Seth. “Aislinn didn’t need to follow me.”

“We didn’t think you needed to be hassled by Glenn,” Seth said.

The Summer King looked stiffer than usual. He didn’t like the Crow’s Nest, but he wouldn’t say that. He went where Aislinn wanted him to, did what would make her happy. If it wasn’t the same way Seth felt, it might irritate him.

Who I am kidding? It still does.

Keenan sat on the chair, studiously watching the band. They weren’t awful, but they didn’t merit that sort of attention. Damali might, but the rest of the band was average at best.

Seth wasn’t up to trying to pretend things were all right. “I don’t know what happened between you two before tonight, but I can probably guess….”

The look Keenan gave him confirmed Seth’s fears.

“Right. Here’s the thing. If she chooses to give you more than her friendship, it’ll suck for me. Probably how you feel now.”

Keenan was motionless, but it was much the same way that caged lions became motionless—sizing you up for weakness. For all their feigning humanity, faeries were something Other. Aislinn was Other, and the longer she was with them, the further away from mortal normalcy she’d be.

And from me.

It was easy enough to forget that they weren’t human, but Seth was learning to remind himself. Other wasn’t bad; it just wasn’t the same rules. Keenan seemed more human after so long among them, but if it wasn’t for Aislinn’s insisting that Seth stay in her life…well, neither Seth nor Keenan had any illusions there.

He’s thought about it. That objective disregard for Seth’s safety flickered in Keenan’s words sometimes. So I can hear it.

“I see it,” Seth said. “You watch her like she’s your universe. She feels it too. I don’t know if it’s a summer thing or what.”

“She is my queen.” Keenan spared a glance for Seth, and then he resumed watching the band. If Seth thought Damali was actually that interesting to Keenan, he might worry for her.

“Yeah. I got that a while ago. I know you haven’t been real forthcoming on making it easier for me either.”

“I’ve done everything she’s asked or suggested.”

“With her few months of experience in your world? Real helpful, that.” Seth snorted. “But I get it. I don’t particularly enjoy helping you either. I will if she asks it of me.”

“So we understand each other.” Keenan nodded, still staring at Damali. His attention had caused her to shine: her vocals were spot on.

“I hope we do.” Seth let all the anger he’d kept in check plain in his tone then. “But just to be clear—if you take advantage of her or manipulate her into something she doesn’t want, I’ll gladly use whatever influence I have.”

In other circumstances, Keenan’s look of derision would be funny; it was equal to the affronted expression that Tavish wore all the time. “You think you can outwit me?”

Seth shrugged. “I don’t know. Niall knocked you out to assure my safety. Donia isn’t seeing you, last I heard. Chela and Gabe seem fond of me. I’m willing to try if I need to.” He poked at his lip ring as he weighed his words. “If she makes a fair choice, that’s one thing. If you use whatever this faery bond is to try to control her, that’s altogether different.”

Keenan’s smile was far from human then. He looked every bit the ageless creature he was—utterly emotionless in his voice and guise, sitting in a mundane room like an ancient god among the rabble. “You do realize I could have you killed. By morning, you could be nothing more than a pile of charred ashes. Your very presence weakens my court. After centuries of waiting, I am unbound, but my queen is weakened by clinging to her mortality—because of you. She is drawn away from what would strengthen me—by you. I don’t have any logical reason not to want you dead sooner than you already will be.”

Seth leaned forward so his words wouldn’t be overheard. “Are you going to order my death, Keenan?”

“Would you kill for her?”

“Yeah. For her, especially if it was you”—Seth smiled—“but not as a way to win her attention. That’s weak, and she deserves better than that.”

“She’ll mourn you sooner or later. The worry over you saddens her. The maudlin focus on your brief life span distracts her. It would strengthen my court if you were gone already and she were truly my queen….” Keenan’s words faded as he looked at Seth with an unreadable expression on his face.

“If you have me killed, she’d find out, though. Would that strengthen your court?” Seth looked away to watch Aislinn walk through the room toward them. She frowned as she saw them but didn’t rush or do anything obvious.

He turned back to Keenan, who was lion-still again, watching Aislinn too.

The Summer King spoke quietly, “No. Your death by my word would upset her. Tavish recommended it, despite the complications, but I think the dangers to my court outweigh the benefits of your death. I cannot order your removal—tempting though it may be. It would push her further away.”

Seth’s heartbeat sped. Suspecting your death had been discussed so coldly was one thing; hearing it confirmed was entirely different. “Is that why you don’t do it?”

“In part. I had hope that I could be with Donia, at least for a while. Instead, Aislinn and I are both worried over the lovers we can’t keep. It’s not the way Summer should feel. Our court is about frivolity, impulse, and that dizzy blur of pleasure. It’s not love I feel for Aislinn, but our court would be stronger if she were mine. Every instinct I have pulls me toward her. It drives a wedge between Donia and me. We all know that if you weren’t in the way Aislinn would be mine.”

Seth watched the Summer King watch Aislinn. His mouth was dry as he prompted, “But?”

With effort, Keenan pulled his gaze away from Aislinn. “But I don’t kill mortals…even those who stand in my way. For now, I’ll deal with the way things are. It won’t last forever.” He sounded a little sad as he said it, but Seth wasn’t sure if Keenan was sad that Seth was in the way or that he wouldn’t always be in the way. “So I’ll wait.”

Later, Seth would ponder it, but just then, Aislinn slid into his arms.

Aislinn motioned toward Damali. “She’s good.”

They both murmured assent.

“It makes me want to dance.” She swayed in his lap. “Do you want to?”

Before Seth could reply, Keenan reached over and touched her hand. “I’m sorry, but I need to leave.”

“Leave? Now? But—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood slowly, moving with the faerie elegance that seemed to announce their Otherness. “The guards will be outside to escort you…wherever you go tonight.”

“Seth’s,” she whispered. Her cheeks flushed.

Keenan’s expression didn’t change. “Tomorrow then.”

And then he was gone, moving faster than mortal eyes—even Sighted ones—could follow.