Funny Children's Stories

To America – for Gold

Our most exciting game is Leap Over. And I am probably not yet old enough to really play this game. Well, to play like the older boys do. Once, when my Mom saw how the older boys jumped, she was horrified. She said that she did not understand how all of them managed not to break their spines. She also said that these boys did not have any sense of responsibility.

My mom often says that if she sees someone doing something wrong. Once I asked her whether I had a sense of responsibility. And Mom replied that I did my homework with a sense of responsibility. But I had very little of it for anything else.

Well, I still do not really understand much about the sense of responsibility. But it seems to me that it is very unlikely that you may break your spine while playing Leap Over. It would be much easier to break it while playing Elephant. Because when you play Elephant, everyone is trying to jump on top of the weakest guy. While two boys are already hanging on to his neck and on top of his shoulders, two others are trying to jump on top of his back.

And as for Leap Over, it only looks as though it is possible to break your spine. Everyone leaps over the same way as in Leapfrog. But in Leapfrog, you can take as many steps as you want. You cannot do it in Leap Over.

For example, someone “leaps over with a two.” He starts to run, takes two huge steps, then one last push, and flies in the air for a few meters. Then he pushes off with his hands on the back of the boy who is “it” and leaps over him. Then it is considered that he “got it”.

No harm done to the boy who is “it.” And all you can do is breathe a sigh of envy for the one who jumped. Of course, I cannot do it the same way that the older boys do it. So, I just stand on the side, admire their jumps, and dream that one day I too will be able to jump like them.

But honestly, from time to time, bad things do happen. For example, when the one who leaps over makes a mistake. It is good if he understands that he will not be able to make it. Then he can stop himself in time.

But if he does not know what he is doing, or if it is his last attempt, when it does not matter whether he knows what he is doing or not and he just must leap over – in this case, he might badly injure both himself and the boy who is “it.” Especially, of course, the boy who is “it”. Because in such cases, the one who is “it” will be propelled forward a few meters and will nosedive into the asphalt.

And then bloody knees, hands, and face are inevitable. But even in such cases, your spine should be safe.

When older boys are not there, then we, I mean those who are a little younger, also play Leap Over. But there is never a lot of blood. Scraped knees, hands, and torn clothing – there is enough of that. But a lot of blood is a rare sight.

And when we want to relax a bit, we play Donkey. Then boys of all ages play together. And here, if you are “it,” you do not have to worry about nosediving into asphalt. Because Donkey is a quiet game.

“Hello donkey.” “Goodbye donkey.” “Whip the donkey.” Everything is easy. The boy who is “it” positions himself the same way as in Leap Over: bent over, with his hands resting on his knees. The only difference is that in Donkey he is turned to you sideways.

The first difficulty occurs when you spur the donkey. You shout, “Spur the donkey!” And as you are leaping over him, in mid air, you have to smack his behind with your foot. Not everyone can do that.

Then the next obstacle: “Load the donkey.” Here it is especially difficult to be the last one to leap over. Because all boys have already put their caps on the back of the donkey. And some of them are barely staying on top. And now you have to put another cap on the back and leap over the donkey so that none of the caps falls off.

And there is another one: “Unload the donkey.” Now whoever is first faces the biggest difficulty. The rest is pretty simple: “To America – for gold,” “From America – with crap.”

And only at the very end, when we shout “Aim, Load, Fire,” then the one who is “it” may be “fired” in such way that he will not be happy at all.

“Aim” is when the one who is “it” is turned to the spot to which he should fall. “Load” – this is clear. Before “Fire,” there may be “Check fuse,” which is also clear. And then comes – “Fire.” Here we hit the behind of the guy who is “it” with our behind. And if an older boy does that, he can send “it” flying pretty far.

When Mom heard about all these “To America – for gold” and “From America – with crap,” she told Dad that she had thought that everyone respected Americans. But then she realized that everyone hated them.

And Dad said that actually, both were true. He said that it was a Russian tradition to treat Americans with a reverent hostility.

Older boys do not play Donkey often. And even if they play it once in a while, then afterwards they go back to playing Leap Over.

Some of our boys do not play Leap Over not because they are afraid to hurt themselves but because of their clothes. If you rip your uniform, you will have to go to school in the ripped uniform for many months until it is too small for you. And some have to wear it even afterwards.

Last week, one of our boys changed after school. He put on his gym uniform. I mean he put on the clothes we wear during gym class. And since he played Leap Over all day long, he ripped his gym uniform so much that it needed major repairs.

Next day we had gym class. And the boy who tore his gym uniform told our PE teacher that he could not go to class because he did not have his uniform. To be more accurate, he, for some reason, lied a little and said that he forgot his uniform at home.

The PE teacher made him undress. But it had become really cold outside in literally just one day. And the boy had to do all the exercises in his underpants. I must say that our boys did not laugh at him. And the girls did not even look at him.

I did not laugh either. I just kept thinking, what if that had happened to me. I mean, what if I had forgotten my uniform at home. And because of these thoughts, I became so scared that I was pretty far from wanting to laugh.

At home I told my mom that from that moment on, every evening before gym class, I would hang the bag with my uniform on the door so as to not forget to take it with me to school in the morning. And I thought that I was beginning to have a kind of reverent hostility for the bag with my uniform.

But my mom liked that I suggested hanging the bag with my uniform on the door. And I heard her telling Dad that at last the child was beginning to show some sense of responsibility.