Fuzzy Navel

10:22 P.M.
MUNCHEL

MUNCHEL WATCHES the split-tail climb back through the window, and he feels every hair on his arms stand at attention. He isn’t tired. He isn’t scared.

He’s electrified.

This has been the greatest day of his life. And when that cop returns fire, it will take everything up to the next level. He imagines this is the desert, hot wind blowing in his eyes, sand in his teeth, his platoon pinned down by enemy fire, and Private Munchel – no, Sergeant Munchel – is called to take them out with extreme prejudice. But the insurgents have a sniper of their own, a famous Taliban bitch who’s a dead shot at a thousand yards, and only Sergeant Munchel has the skill to-

“Where in the hell are you?”

The radio startles Munchel, jolting him out of his reverie. He swears, unclips the radio, then presses the talk button.

“What’s the problem now, Swanson?”

“The problem is that you disappeared for an hour, and when you come back there’s gunfire. Loud gunfire, not our silenced rifles.”

“They’re suppressors, not silencers.” Pessolano, cutting in.

Swanson sighs like a drama queen. “I don’t give a shit what they’re called. Tell me what’s going on.”

“The woman cop,” Munchel says. “She had a gun in the house, shot at me through the window.”

“I already killed her,” Pessolano says.

“You must have missed, because she was shooting at me just a minute ago.”

“You sure it was her?”

“’Course it was her. Looked just like her.”

“Could of been her twin.”

“Her what?”

“Her twin sister. Like that Van Damme movie.”

“It wasn’t her goddamn twin, Pessolano. You just goddamn missed.”

“Enough!” Swanson cuts in. “Her gun is too loud. Someone is going to hear it and call the cops.”

Munchel grins. “Well, it’s about to get even louder, boyo, because I gave her a rifle.”

He pictures Swanson’s face turning bright red with anger. It amuses him greatly. Ever since they first got together, Swanson has been playing leader. But he sucks as a leader. He’s too scared of everything, and has zero creativity.

And what is this shit Pessolano is talking about twins? That guy has been bragging and boasting about his war record nonstop, but he can’t even confirm a kill.

Munchel knows that he’s the alpha male of the group. He proved it earlier, in Ravenswood. And he’s about to prove it again.

“What. Did. You. Say?” Swanson probably thinks pausing between each word makes him sound tough.

“I gave her Pessolano’s Browning, and three bullets. Make this a little more interesting.”

“I better get that gun back,” Pessolano says. “Or you owe me seven hundred bucks.”

“You’ll get it back.” Munchel laughs. “Might have to wash the blood off it first.”

Another sigh from Swanson. “We need to finish this shit up, and get out of here before more cops come.”

“How?” Pessolano asks. “Everyone is hiding. We can’t get any shots.”

“Then we get closer.”

Munchel nods. That’s the first thing Swanson has said all night that he agrees with.

He clips the radio to his belt, picks up the rifle, and creeps closer to the house.