Fuzzy Navel

12:23 A.M.
JACK

I WATCH ALEX TEAR DOWN the road, and the Desert Eagle all of a sudden weighs a hundred pounds. I let the gun drop to my side, and a strangled sound that’s a cross between a laugh and a sob comes out of my mouth.

She’s gone. Alex is gone. And everyone I care about is still alive.

I walk back toward the house, but I don’t feel weak. I don’t feel hurt at all. For the first time all night, I feel pretty damn good.

I meet up with Phin on my front lawn.

“We’ll get her,” he says.

I meet his eyes. “I know.”

We enter through the front door. Harry is standing guard with a Desert Eagle. He blows out a big breath when he sees me. “That was some pretty intense shit. Who needs a beer?”

“I could use something stronger,” Phin says.

Harry nods. “Mom has some codeine, and I think there’s vodka left.”

“We’re not out of this yet,” I say. “We still need to find the jammer and get some help.”

“Phin and I will take care of it,” Harry says. “Don’t bogart the vodka.”

They head outside. I head to the bathroom, and Mom embraces me.

“Is she gone?” she asks.

“Yes. I still need to go outside, guard Phin and Harry.”

I look at Herb, who is sitting up. His color has returned. He’s trying to open a pickle jar.

“Don’t eat those,” I say, taking the jar away.

Herb frowns. “Harry said they were good.”

I ask Mom to find something else for Herb to munch on, then go to Latham. I touch his forehead, and he opens his eyes. His fever has gotten worse.

“Did the good guys win?” he asks.

I nod.

“I wasn’t worried,” he says. “Not with you here to save us.”

“Ambulance is coming soon,” I tell him. “We’re all going to be okay.”

“I love you, Jack.”

“Love you, Latham.”

“Love you more.”

“No, I love you more.”

Herb’s mouth is occupied with what appears to be a wedge of cheddar cheese, but he says, “For crissakes, I’m trying to eat here. Kiss him already.”

I smile, kiss Latham, and then hurry back into the kitchen. The screams from the garage have stopped. I take a peek. Munchel is dead. Then I go outside and witness the spectacle of Harry on Phin’s shoulders, reaching for the veranda.

“Dammit, Phin, push!”

“You want me to climb up there on my own, then pull you up?”

“Could you do that? Please?”

I lend two hands to the cause, and we manage to get McGlade onto the roof. And he had the audacity to comment on my weight. Everywhere I touch him, it feels like pizza dough.

“What’s it look like?” Harry calls from above.

“No idea,” I answer. “But it’s probably around front.”

I turn to Phin. “Any wants or warrants out on you lately?”

“I don’t think so. Worried about fraternizing with a known criminal?”

“Hell no. I was going to talk to a judge friend, get everything dropped.”

Phin smiles. “Can that apply to any future indiscretions I may commit? There’s a liquor store near my house just begging to be robbed.”

“Thanks, Phin.”

I give him a hug, since this is the Night of a Thousand Hugs anyway. His skin is freezing.

“Aren’t you cold?” I ask.

He holds me tighter. “Not anymore.”

“Hey!” Harry yells. “I found a tennis ball! You play tennis, Jackie?”

I pull away from Phin, feeling a little awkward.

“I think Latham has some shirts inside. I’ll get you one, when Harry comes back.”

“Thanks.”

Harry farts around on the roof for a few more minutes, then yells, “Got it!”

He tosses the jammer down. It’s a black box, about the size of a walkie-talkie. I hit the off switch, and pull out the battery just to be safe. Then I turn on my cell phone and see those beautiful signal bars.

I call 911, give the operator my badge number, and request as many cops as possible. I also ask for six ambulances, and for an APB to be put out on a red Ford Bronco with a hole in the windshield.

Then I go to find a shirt for Phin, and a change of clothes for me.

The first cop arrives in four minutes. A minute after that, six more cops arrive. Then the ambulances come. All the swirling lights on my front lawn make it look like a Fourth of July fireworks display.

I give some very brief statements, and then oversee the loading of my friends and family into the ambulances. Mom. Latham. Herb – who fights with the paramedics to hold on to the cheese. Phin. And Harry.

“Mom invited me over for dinner next week,” Harry tells me as they’re strapping him to the gurney. “It will be nice to hang out with you when someone isn’t trying to kill us.”

“Looking forward to it,” I say.

“Does she like flowers?” he asks. “I’ve got forty-nine Mother’s Days to make up for.”

“She loves flowers, Harry.”

Only after Harry is carted off and everyone is safe do I allow my guard to ease up and finally let them put me into an ambulance of my own.

“I have a cat,” I tell one of the paramedics. “He isn’t good with people.”

“We’ll catch him, make sure he’s okay.”

“Might be wise to call animal control, let them help you.”

He passes along the info, then takes my vitals.

“Helluva night, huh?”

I laugh. It feels good. Real good.

“You have no idea,” I say.