In Laymon's Terms

Michael Oliveri

REQUENT VISITORS TO Dick’s message board on the old Masters of Terror may recall how he closed most, if not all, of his posts with “The Dick is pleased.” Attendees of the 2001 Bram Stoker Awards banquet may also recall Kelly Laymon closing her acceptance speech for The Traveling Vampire Show with the same quote.

Now you know where that started. I’m not ashamed to admit I used to grin like an idiot every time I read or heard that phrase.

I read this story during “KeeneCon” when a bunch of us met at Brian Keene’s place in Baltimore in late 2000. The Laymons were there, and I read this story. When I introduced the Dick character, Dick Laymon chuckled. Knowing what was coming, I stopped to assure Dick there was no relation between him and this character.

There was a lot of laughter when I read the rape scene. When I finished the story, Keene, loaded with sarcasm, asked, “So what did you think, Dick?”

Dick merely nodded, looked at me, and said, “The Dick is pleased.”