In Laymon's Terms

Mark McLaughlin

ACH YEAR, WORLD Horror Con has a contest where writers compete to see who can read the grossest story. That’s the Gross-Out Contest, and it’s usually held on the Saturday of the convention at midnight. Richard Laymon was one of the judges, and that’s how I knew him. I was one of the regular competitors.

In the earlier days in the competition, I was one of the first to use character voices and act out things a bit. Every year, back when Dick was a judge, he would see me in the hall of the hotel and say things like, “Mark! Can’t wait to see what you’re going to do this year!” And of course that would inspire me to do something extra special! I didn’t want to disappoint Richard Laymon!

Mike McCarty and I have been friends for years, and I remember the first time Mike went to World Horror Con and tried his hand at the Gross-Out Contest. He read a story about a constipated cannibal, and even did a little acting—in particular, he pantomimed the part where the cannibal had to do some straining to push a delivery out the back door (so to speak). Dick Laymon was laughing so hard it made his eyes water.

For this tribute to Dick, Mike and I created a gross-out story that includes some themes from Dick’s fiction. For example, you’ll find vampires that might not really be vampires—and plenty of no-holds-barred action. We think Dick would have enjoyed it!