Just To Be With You

CHAPTER TWELVE

All Wednesday afternoon after they’d gone back to Ian’s office, and then Thursday while they went on an extensive tour of the massive physical warehouse facilities in which he was considering an investment, Tatiana’s brain had been spinning as she tried to figure things out, both regarding Ian and her new role.

She’d meant it when she said she was no good at holding things in. She had always been passionate about what she was working on, and once she’d tapped the well of inspiration and passion for acting, she’d never even considered turning it off. Her sister had made more than one worried comment over the years about her putting in long hours and so much emotional commitment to her roles. Tatiana wanted to please Valentina, who had always been more of a mother to her than a sister, but even for Val she couldn’t change who she was.

All or nothing.

Go big or go home.

And no matter how high, or how risky, the stakes were, give her all and her best.

It shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone, then, that she had gone and fallen in love with a man who absolutely, positively refused to let himself do the same.

Since the previous Friday when she’d stumbled into his arms, how many times had he deliberately kept his distance, making certain not to touch her with even the barest brush of their fingers or legs against each other? Only yesterday when she’d been talking to him about losing her father had he forgotten to keep that space between them.

The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted Ian and he wanted her. Yesterday in her kitchen, he hadn’t denied their attraction the way other men might have, because he wasn’t a man who lied. Ever.

Immediately, she’d discounted playing the seductress. Not only because she wasn’t sure she knew how, but also because she respected Ian too much to trick him like that. If and when they finally came together, she wanted it to happen on honest ground, and to know that they were both all the way in.

As for her new role, while she’d learned a heck of a lot already about how to successfully run a company from watching Ian—he was shockingly hands-on, tough but fair, and made sure to surround himself with brilliant, friendly people who always kept their eye on the ball—she was still lost. Seeing the way Serena had dived straight down into her character when they’d done the short read-through of Smith’s script the previous day had only highlighted how screwed Tatiana was.

Good thing the director and producer weren’t asking her to do a read-through right now, because it would be a total mess.

She didn’t realize her private emotions were spilling out of her until Brian, the owner of the warehousing company, turned to her and said, “Is everything okay? You didn’t step on something sharp, did you?” He looked around the concrete floor, clearly worried.

Belatedly realizing the little frustrated scream hadn’t remained in her head, she forced her lips up into what she hoped looked like a real smile. “No, I’m fine.”

When Ian looked concerned as well, she said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please, just forget I’m here.”

“Actually,” Brian said, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but I’m pretty sure my employees would love a chance to get a few autographs, if it would be okay with you.”

“Of course I don’t mind. I just don’t want to get in your way.”

Ian’s eyes went dark as he looked at her. “You’ve never been in anyone’s way, Tatiana.” He nodded over to the group of workers who were sitting in the nearby break room. “We have plenty of time for you to go and make everyone’s day.”

Brian took her over and she signed autographs and took pictures and just plain had a great time chatting with everyone. It was so nice to get out of her head for a little while that she was shocked when she looked up at the clock on the wall and realized just how long she’d been at it.

“Ian, I’m sorry,” she said as she pushed back from the plastic table. “I’ve thrown off your schedule.”

“Like I said before, we’re fine.” He gestured behind him to a little girl and her mother who were walking toward them from the parking lot. “Besides, I think you’ve got a couple more people to say hello to before we head out.”

Did he have any idea how sweet he was? She wanted so badly to reach out to him and feel again what she’d felt so strongly yesterday when they’d had their arms around each other in her kitchen.

Instead, she walked toward the little girl with big brown eyes and knelt in front of her. “Hi, what’s your name?”

“Keely.”

“Oooh, I love your name, Keely.”

“I was watching you on TV last night. You’re famous.”

Tatiana laughed. “I guess so. But you’re the one with the awesome shoes that light up. Can you make them sparkle again?”

As the little girl danced around, though Tatiana wasn’t anywhere close to having kids yet, she couldn’t deny the little tug in her heart.

“If it wouldn’t be too much to ask,” her mother said, “could I take a picture of you together?”

“Absolutely, but only if you take one for me on my phone, too.” Tatiana reached into her bag for it, but by the time she came up empty, Ian was already holding his out.

“I’ll take it with mine, Tatiana,” he said, having clearly guessed that she’d forgotten it somewhere.

Because he knew her.

Tatiana and Keely posed for pictures, first with big smiles, and then making silly faces. After hugging both the little girl and her mother, Tatiana waved good-bye to everyone, then headed for Ian’s town car.

“We’ll need to head to my place rather than my office for my next meeting,” Ian explained, “because I need my video conferencing software. Given the way traffic is looking right now, my home office is at least fifteen minutes closer. And,” he said, holding up a hand before she could apologize for making them so late, “I would have asked you to leave your fans if I’d wanted to. But you were making them happy—and they were making you happy, too. So I didn’t want to ask you to leave.”

Seeing Ian’s house would be another window into the man she’d fallen head over heels for. And maybe, she thought with renewed hope after what he’d just said to her about liking to see her happy, it would give her new clues into how to get closer to the heart he always made sure to guard so carefully.

The building he lived in was cool and polished, everything classy and top-of-the-line, from the high-tech elevator controls to the crisply pressed uniform on the doorman who called Ian sir and her miss.

She could tell Ian was preoccupied with what he was missing in the meeting that had started without him, so when he let them inside and offered to get her a drink, she waved him away. “Go dial in. I’ll come find you once I’ve found drinks for both of us.”

He looked undecided for a moment, and she had to wonder if it was because he was afraid she was going to find something he’d kept hidden from everyone else. But then, when his cell phone rang again, he said, “My home office is the door just beyond the living room.”

She’d joked about snooping in his office the day she’d come to ask if she could shadow him, but she hadn’t actually done it. Now, however, she couldn’t stop herself from looking all around his penthouse condo with great curiosity.

Last Friday, Ian Sullivan had been an attractive man she’d been hoping to get to know better, and to set off some sparks with. One week later, though he was still impossibly gorgeous, he was so much more to her than just a sexy man who made her tingly all over.

She’d known he was committed to his family, but until she’d seen him interact closely with his sister, his parents, and his brothers at dinner, she hadn’t realized just how much they meant to him. Everything. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. Plus, his company had great maternity and paternity benefits, and then there was all the time and effort he was putting into the Seattle Family Foundation fundraising event, when she knew firsthand that time was precisely what he didn’t have, and it would have been so much easier just to write a check.

Why had he lived in London for so many years when he’d obviously missed his family as much as they’d missed him?

What’s more, instead of ruthlessly directing an executive staff from on high, Ian got right in there with them and was hands-on with each part of the massive business he ran. Somehow, he always managed to find the time, and the energy, for everything he did. How did he make it all look so easy?

As for his ex-wife, Tatiana wasn’t surprised that he’d been drawn to the other woman’s beauty. But, given how horribly Chelsea behaved toward him, why did he obviously blame himself for the marriage not holding together?

Ian was a mystery that she couldn’t stop wanting to solve.

Of course, a big part of her hoped that if she did, then maybe she could also figure out how to get him to give their attraction a chance to blossom into something more. But more than that—even if he never let himself fall for her the way she’d already fallen for him—she wanted to see him smile, to hear him laugh...and to know that he was happy.

Truly happy, with or without her.

As Tatiana walked into his living room, she immediately noticed several touches that she guessed had come from the women in his family who loved him. A quilted throw over his couch that looked like it had been made by his cousin Chase’s wife, Chloe. A beautifully sculpted bowl displayed on the center of the coffee table that was obviously one of Vicki Bennett’s creations. The first-edition leather-bound classics that his librarian cousin Sophie had likely helped him find through her contacts in the book world. And, of course, a big new box of chocolates that Brooke must have given him as a gift to welcome him back to Seattle.

The finely crafted miniature ship on the mantel above his fireplace was so unique she had to take a closer look, and was amazed when she saw Dylan’s name scrawled on the base in black ink. She knew he built full-size sailboats, but she hadn’t realized he was just as skilled with models. A few prints were hanging on the walls, each of them drawings of historic Seattle houses. Something told her it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to assume that they were a few of the homes Ian’s brother Adam had brought back to life.

Yes, Ian’s penthouse condo had high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows. There was the requisite Sub-Zero refrigerator/freezer and marble countertops. If you didn’t look any closer, it might seem like the typical CEO domain.

But Tatiana knew that there was nothing impersonal about it. Not at all.

Because he’d surrounded himself with pieces of the people he loved in every corner of his home.

Maybe, she suddenly thought, Ian wasn’t nearly the mystery he seemed. Because when family was at the heart of everything a man was, surely he’d soon realize that he wanted the same thing for himself.

Wouldn’t he?