Just To Be With You

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“Tatiana!” Joyce, the head of the foundation, looked surprised—and thrilled—to see her that evening at the entrance to the swanky downtown hotel’s grand ballroom. “Ian told us you weren’t going to be able to make it. And after we heard about your Oscar nomination, we weren’t surprised to hear you were too busy.”

“I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.” Not even a broken heart.

“We’re all so happy for you, and your nomination is so well deserved. I absolutely loved Gravity. My husband did, too, and he normally falls asleep in a movie unless there are a dozen car chases. I’m positive you’re going to win.”

“Thanks for saying that,” she replied with a smile, “although just getting the nomination was such a shock that I’m thinking actually winning would be completely overwhelming. Honestly, even thinking about what I’m going to wear that night is too overwhelming, at this point.”

Tatiana hadn’t been able to reach her sister or Smith, who were in Ireland scouting locations, and she’d guessed it was because Smith’s Best Actor nomination had made them as busy as she was. But while it felt funny not immediately sharing everything with her sister the way she always had since she was a little girl, in a way it had been a blessing.

She still wasn’t yet ready to talk to anyone about what had happened with Ian as she continued to work through her thoughts and emotions about all of it, reeling back and forth from hurt to angry to embarrassed...but always, throughout everything, still desperately in love. And utterly convinced that she was right to do whatever she could tonight to shake him up just a little more.

Still, during the ride here in the taxi she’d been more than a little nervous about the dress she was wearing. Even now, she had her trench coat wrapped tightly around her. But since her bold outfit wouldn’t be worth a thing if she didn’t project confidence along with it, she took a deep steadying breath as she undid the tie at her waist and slid it off her shoulders.

“Wow,” Joyce said, “that’s a gorgeous dress.”

“I love yours, too.” Noticing that the photographers were already pointing their cameras her way, Tatiana asked, “Where would you like me to go? Maybe I could stand over there, in front of the foundation’s logo?”

“That would be amazing. Thank you so much for doing this.”

“I’d like to do more, but hopefully this will be a good start.”

Joyce took her coat and Tatiana smiled for the flashing cameras that immediately surrounded her. She’d never stood in front of the press in quite so revealing a dress, and she could still feel the flutter of nerves inside, but amazingly, instead of wishing she could hide or cover up, she realized with some surprise that she felt beautiful.

Truly beautiful.

She’d posed for photographers a hundred times at premieres and other industry events and fundraisers, but she’d never felt quite so radiant, as though she could look down and find her skin sparkling.

Because despite the words they’d thrown at each other that morning, nothing could erase the beauty of the night she and Ian had shared. Every moment they’d been together—kissing in his office, making love in his bed, seducing each other in his bathtub—Ian had made her feel radiantly beautiful.

As a little girl Tatiana had been cute. As a teenager, cute had shifted to pretty. But now that Ian had made her his, she finally felt like a woman, inside and out.

Ian looked up from his conversation at the sudden commotion. All the invited members of the press were leaving the main ballroom at the same time to head out to the entrance hall. Instantly, he knew why they were all so excited. So thrilled.

Because it was exactly the way he’d always felt whenever Tatiana was near.

She was standing in the entry in front of the foundation’s banner, already surrounded by photographers. Between the circus her life had to have become the day after her Oscar nomination and the way things had been left between them that morning, he’d been absolutely certain she wouldn’t show. Any other woman would have stayed away, would have nursed her fury at him, or at least celebrated her own success by letting the world fawn over her.

But not only had Tatiana kept her word by coming to the fundraiser...she looked positively incredible. Through the excited crowd he could catch only flashes of her beautiful face, her long, red-blond hair curling softly over one shoulder, but it was enough to see that she was glowing. Sensual. Sparkling.

No one would ever guess that just hours before, she’d cried as she walked home in the rain. She’d tried to hide her tears, but he’d seen them, and knowing he was the reason for them only made him more convinced that he needed to stay away from her.

He’d already hurt one woman by thinking he was capable of giving her the love she needed, only to neglect her when he just didn’t have it in him to be a true husband or partner. Ian would never forgive himself if he did anything more to damage Tatiana’s bright, positive outlook on life and love. She not only deserved love, but she also deserved to find it with a guy who would devote everything he was to her.

After a long while, when it was clear that the photographers would never feel that they had enough pictures of her, Joyce carefully escorted Tatiana away from the group.

That was when Ian finally saw what she was wearing.

Almost nothing.

Her dress was barely more than a shiny scrap of gold fabric. Thin straps hung from her shoulders as if by a thread above a bodice that dipped way too low and clung much too tightly to her luscious breasts. A slim belt wrapped around her waist, and the shimmering fabric highlighted her hourglass figure as it hugged her hips. And her legs...

Lord, how was he ever going to forget what it felt like to have her perfect legs wrapped around him as she urged him to take her harder, faster? As she’d begged for more.

He’d seen pictures of her in the past with his cousin at their film premiere and had been in Napa with her at the family wedding months earlier. But he’d never seen her wear something so revealing, so purely sensual.

Last night, especially once he’d realized the harsh way he’d taken her virginity, he’d wanted to make it up to her by showing her the kind of deep pleasure her body was capable of. Of course, he’d desperately wanted to know her pleasures for himself, too.

Tonight, she was embracing her sensuality in a way she never had before. And if he saw it, Ian knew everyone else must see it, too.

She was still elegant, still sweet...but overlying both was pure sex.

He’d believed—or hoped, at least—that as soon as they’d had a few hours to cool off away from each other, he’d be able to think things through in the same calculated manner he would an investment gone wrong. That way, he could make the necessary corrections to set everything straight again and minimize loss and suffering for everyone involved.

Only, despite the fact that he hadn’t seen her since that morning, and that his day in the office had been one of the busiest he could remember, Tatiana hadn’t been out of his thoughts for one single second.

All day long, he’d thought about the way she’d trusted him with both her heart and body. He’d replayed, again and again, the way she’d laughed in the bathtub with him. He’d remembered how perfectly she’d fit against him as she’d fallen asleep in his arms. And his gut had twisted every time he’d remembered the way her face had fallen when he’d hurt her in the morning.

He’d sworn up and down that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her more. He’d vowed to remain rational no matter what. And, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t give in to the desperate urge to kiss her, to make love with her, ever again...even if it damn near killed him.

But that had been before she decided to show up at the fundraiser wearing the sexiest excuse for a dress he’d ever seen. All his vows to remain rational, to focus on what he could do to make things up to her, vanished as she stood in front of hundreds of people with every single one of her lush curves on mouthwatering display. Surely, Joyce could find Tatiana a sweater, or some sort of cashmere wrap, to at least throw around her shoulders. It wouldn’t help with the length of leg she was currently showing, but it would be better than the current situation, where every man between the ages of twenty and eighty was drooling over her cleavage.

Ian had never been a jealous man. Even with his ex-wife, who was indisputably beautiful, he’d never felt the need to hide her away from everyone else. But yet again, where Tatiana was concerned, one look at her was all it took to scramble his brain.

And right now, all Ian could think was that he wanted to keep her all to himself.

But the crush of bodies was tight enough in her wake, and so many important donors stopped him to say hello, that by the time he finally got back inside the ballroom, instead of being able to find her to convince her to cover up, it was time to announce the silent auction that would provide the bulk of this year’s funding for the important programs the foundation ran. A job that was too important, that impacted too many people, for him to screw up because he couldn’t stop thinking about Tatiana.

At the microphone, he took a moment to look out over the crowd of people who had gathered in support of the organization and thank them for coming before launching into his speech.

“Ten years ago, the Seattle Family Foundation asked me if I would come and speak at one of their first fundraising events. When I wasn’t able to accept due to a scheduling conflict, they asked me if I would come down to one of their classes and help out there, instead. I was so impressed with both the skills being taught by the excellent instructors and the students’ thirst for knowledge that I hired three of them on the spot. Over the years, I’ve worked with a lot of outreach organizations, and I can tell you from personal experience that the Seattle Family Foundation is one of the very best. Tonight, I hope each and every one of you will think about the people you care about most, the loved ones that you would do anything to support, and do whatever you can to help them continue to provide families with the financial, educational, and career support right when they need it most.”

As soon as he stepped off the stage, Ian was surrounded by potential donors with questions, as well as checks and verbal IOUs. Finally, the crowd thinned and Joyce handed him a glass of champagne.

“Thank you so much, Ian, for everything you’ve done to help us. It looks like we’re going to have our highest operating budget so far to work with next year.” She gestured toward the dance floor. “And thanks to Tatiana and the fact that the press has been going absolutely wild for her, I’m certain far more people will be hearing about us than ever have before. In addition to all the photos, she did a few interviews on our behalf, and was positively eloquent.”

On autopilot, Ian made all the right responses to Joyce before she walked away to deal with the auctioneer. At least, he hoped he did. Because from the moment he looked out onto the dance floor and saw Tatiana in Quinn Patrick’s arms, Ian hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than tearing her out of them.

Quinn was suave, rich, and between wives. Even a blind man could see that the two of them looked great together. This was exactly the kind of guy Ian had known that Tatiana and her slinky, barely-there dress would attract. Some mogul who wouldn’t care about her intelligence, her talent, her kindness. All he’d want Tatiana for was to be a stunning trophy who was hot in the sack.

Blood rushed in Ian’s ears as he made a beeline for the center of the dance floor where the two of them were now holding court, cameras continuing to flash as they captured every seductive move Tatiana made in the other man’s arms.

He had been working on loosening Quinn’s pockets for the foundation for months. When Ian stole Tatiana away in the middle of their dance, Quinn would likely be furious enough that he wouldn’t give one red cent of his fortune to the charity, but Ian didn’t care. Not when the dirtbag was holding Tatiana too tightly and his hands were too close to the swell of her hips.

Ian would make up the difference himself—would double it—if it meant getting her out of the guy’s arms.