Just To Be With You

CHAPTER FIVE

“I thought I worked hard,” Tatiana said five hours later when they were in the back of his town car on the way to a lunch meeting, “but I’m starting to feel like being on a movie set is closer to hanging out at the spa compared to what you do every day.” She didn’t need to refer to the schedule Ian’s assistant had given her, because she’d memorized it. “I assumed all you did was play with money and keep your eye on changing market conditions, but so far today you’ve already had meetings about a major tech acquisition, expanding your office further into Asia, a huge fundraising event that you’ve been spearheading, and now we’re heading to lunch to discuss chemistry with a professor from the University of Washington.”

It was the first chance she’d had to talk privately with Ian since his first meeting of the day, and though she’d done nothing more than sit in on his meetings to take notes, she felt worn out simply from observing his pace, his intensity, his drive. Slipping off her heels for a few precious moments, she unbuttoned her blue blazer, loosened her hair from its twist, and slid her feet beneath her on the leather seat.

She felt good about how well she’d blended in this morning. Even Ian had seemed to forget all about her. Not that she had stopped reacting to him, however. All morning in his presence she’d felt overly warm, as though her body was constantly on alert for something.

No, not just something. For a look. For a touch. And, in her most hopeful moments, for a kiss. One stolen in a deserted hallway as he pressed her up against the wall, his muscles hard against hers, his lips hot as they devoured hers.

Heat swamped her again as she fumbled for the button that would lower the window. Finally, it let in the cool, damp air. She lifted her hair off her neck and let it blow over her.

“How,” she asked him as the heat of his gaze on her kept her warm despite the cold rushing through the window, “do you do it?”

“How do I do what, exactly?”

Tatiana wanted to know so many things about him that, honestly, even she wasn’t sure which question she was asking in that moment. She wanted to know how he made her feel so much, so quickly, and with so little effort. She wanted to know what had put the darkness into his eyes, and the hard edges around his mouth where smile lines should be. She wanted to know how he could sit at a dining table with a family who wanted nothing more than to love him, but still hold himself just far enough away from them so that they couldn’t get all the way past his walls.

But since she also wanted to understand the businessman she’d observed during the past five hours, she asked, “How do you run at this pace, hour after hour, day after day, without getting even the slightest bit winded?”

“It’s my job.”

She held in an irritated sigh. She’d known he was going to be a tough nut to crack, hadn’t she? Heck, his mother had all but held up flashing neon signs of the words struggle and determination while they were making dinner.

“Yes, but it’s a job you no longer need to work at half as hard as you do, especially when you’ve already had more success than most people could ever dream of. Take Flynn Thomas and his company. I know you’re excited about the chance to work with him and he’s clearly brilliant at what he does, but I’m sure you could get him to take the deal without offering to give up so much of your own time and energy. And yet, you didn’t hesitate to give him your word that you wouldn’t hand him or his company off to anyone else.”

“The same thing could be said of you and acting—that you no longer need to work at it half as hard as you do when you’ve already had so much success. But that isn’t stopping you from taking on new roles, is it?”

Tatiana understood this was Ian’s way of trying to deflect her question away from himself. All morning she’d watched as he talked with employees and colleagues, and while he remembered the details of all their lives, he made absolutely certain that the personal conversations he had with people never circled back around to him. And she’d also noticed how careful all of those people were to stay perfectly within the boundaries he set for them.

When, she wondered, was the last time anyone had thrown caution to the wind and tried to smash through those boundaries?

It was tempting to try to do just that in the back of his town car while they were stuck in lunchtime traffic. But it was still too soon. Way too soon. Hurling herself like a wrecking ball at his stiff and starched-up boundaries within the first five hours of shadowing him wouldn’t do either of them any good.

Patience. Somehow, she needed to find a little of it.

So, instead of pressuring him to answer her question just yet, she answered his. “I keep taking new roles because I love what I do.” And her love for what she did for a living, at least, really was that simple. “Being an actor was always my dream. I love to make people happy, to know that I’ve helped them forget about their lives for a little while. Make believe, and disappearing into characters while in front of the camera, is just as much fun for me now as it was when I was a little girl wearing a tiger costume in my first commercial for a zoo. Because even when the outfit got hot and scratchy and all I could think about was yanking it off and throwing the stuffed head as far as I could, I already had enough passion and desire for acting to say my lines another dozen times until the director was satisfied. And what I remember most of all about that day is that when I was done, I felt like I’d achieved something really great. Not just filming a zoo commercial, but that I’d faced the challenge down...and won.”

It was precisely what she was hoping to do again with this new role. Just as soon as she figured out her character’s motivations, which would hopefully happen any day now. Especially considering the studio had tens of millions of dollars riding on her new film.

“Now that I think about it,” she said, “I don’t really need you to tell me how you do what you do. I think I can understand that well enough from my personal experience with my career. What I’d rather understand is why.”

Though he’d rather flippantly responded to her first question by saying it was his job, she didn’t think he’d do the same thing now. Already, she’d learned that while he wasn’t the easiest person to do business with, he was fair. And he respected a well-thought-out question just as much as he did a well-researched answer.

“I was twenty-one when I started Sullivan Investments.”

Over and over throughout the years, people had remarked to her about how much she’d accomplished at her age. Still, she was a little stunned to think that he’d begun his rapid climb to the top when he was two years younger than she was now.

“So this was always what you wanted, the same way I wanted to act?”

“No,” he said in a low voice, “not always.”

When he didn’t say anything more for a few long moments, she nearly reminded him that she’d signed an NDA and wouldn’t ever repeat what he told her now to anyone. Only, she suddenly realized, this wasn’t business anymore. It was no longer research.

It was personal.

“What did you want, Ian?” She gestured out the still-open window at the tall, shiny skyscrapers. “Before all of this?”

He was looking directly at her, but his eyes were slightly unfocused, as though he was looking through her into the past. “I wanted to play football.”

She’d seen him throw the ball, knew just how well it fit into his hands. “I’ve only shadowed you for a few hours, but one thing I already know for certain is that when you want something, you get it. So it wasn’t that you weren’t good enough, was it?”

His eyes cleared as he refocused his gaze on her. “I was good. But things changed and football didn’t make sense anymore.”

“Why?”

“How many times are you going to say that word to me?”

She didn’t hesitate before answering him with the truth. “Lots and lots of times.”

Irritation warred with amusement on his face, and she thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch as he said, “If I answer this why, will you do us both a favor and not say it again during the rest of this ride, at the very least?” As soon as she nodded, he said, “I went into the investment business in college so that I could pitch in during a rough time my dad was having with his job. Once I started working, I quickly found out that I was good at it.”

“Good is a bit of an understatement considering one of your colleagues said…” She opened her notebook and pointed to her notes. “It’s as if he has investing ESP.”

His grin came and went so fast, she might have thought she’d imagined it if she hadn’t been able to feel the power of it still radiating straight into the center of her chest.

Right where it was starting to feel as though her heart was beating only for him.

“I like what I do, Tatiana. I like the money, the security, and the peace of mind that comes with being good at it, too.”

“But it isn’t just about your own financial security, is it?” She thought back to the meeting they’d just left with the head of the Seattle Family Foundation. Ian was to be the master of ceremonies at a big fundraising event on Friday night, and he’d given just as much focus, just as much passion, during the meeting with the charitable organization as he had in any of the others that were all about corporate revenue and profits.

“You never forget what it’s like to wonder if you’ll lose everything.” Again, his eyes clouded as if he was back in the past. “Even once you’ve got more than you need. If we can teach mothers and fathers, and their kids, the kinds of skills that will mean they’ll land on their feet, it might not solve all their problems, but hopefully it will at least give them something to aim for when times are tough.”

“So you don’t just want to give them hope, or temporary solutions, but the possibility of a good future.” She liked it—liked it a lot. “I didn’t want to interrupt during your meeting, especially since the event is less than a week away, but the biggest issues seemed to revolve around visibility for the organization. I know this might sound kind of dumb, but something simple like me being photographed at the event on Friday night in some designer dress might help a little bit to raise awareness about what you’re working toward.” She felt a little embarrassed as she told him, “It seems like whenever I attend anything in a pretty dress, the pictures are all over the Internet and magazines for the next few days. And if it would help a good cause...”

“It doesn’t sound even the least bit dumb, Tatiana, and it would definitely help raise visibility for the foundation.”

“So it’s a date?”

His eyes darkened for a moment before he nodded. “It’s a date. I’ll let them know you’ll be attending and, if it’s okay with you, they can alert the press in advance.”

“Sounds great,” she said, her heart cartwheeling in her chest.

Okay, so it wasn’t a real date, but at least she’d be spending Friday night with Ian. And it hadn’t been nearly as difficult as she’d thought to get him to open up to her a little bit, had it?

“Thank you for answering my questions, Ian.” Belatedly remembering she was supposed to be asking because of her research on CEOs, and not just because she wanted to know every little thing about him, she said, “I think it’s going to help a lot with my role.”

“You know, if you hadn’t been such a good little tiger all those years ago, you would have made a good journalist.”

Warmth shot through her at his compliment. “Actually, I played a journalist a couple of years ago.”

“The twist at the end of that film was pretty surprising.”

“You saw it?”

“Your movies are very popular, you know.”

“Yes, but I also now know firsthand just how busy your work schedule is.”

“Even I take a couple of hours off here and there, Tatiana.”

Something about the way Ian said it, with the innate Sullivan lady-killing charm that his other brothers let fly much more freely than he normally did, immediately made her think of him taking time off for sex.

Her next breath caught in her throat as desire hit her with far stronger force than it ever had before. Ian was, clearly, a very physical man despite the hours he put in at the office. She assumed he worked out based on how fit he was, but something told her that hitting the gym wasn’t the only way he liked to get his blood pumping.

It was moments like this when she felt every inch the virgin no one would ever believe she was given the handful of sexy roles she’d played so far. A more experienced woman would know how to amp up the sensuality in the car with nothing more than a few alluring words.

But, for the first time in a very long time, Tatiana was suddenly completely tongue-tied.