Kafka on the Shore

Chapter 26

It was already pretty late in the afternoon, and they had to find a place to stay for the night. Hoshino went to the tourist information booth at Takamatsu Station and had them make a reservation at an inn. It was within walking distance of the station, which was nice, but otherwise was typical and somewhat dumpy. Neither Hoshino nor Nakata minded much, though. As long as there were futons to sleep on, they were fine. As before, breakfast was provided but they were on their own for dinner. This particularly suited Nakata, who was likely to drop off to sleep any time.

Once they were in their room, Nakata had Hoshino lie facedown on the futon, got on top of him again, and pressed down with both thumbs up and down his lower back, carefully checking out the condition of his joints and muscles. This time he was much more gentle, just tracing the spine and checking out how tense the muscles were.

"Something wrong?" Hoshino asked anxiously.

"No, everything's fine. Nakata doesn't find anything wrong with you now. Your spine's in good shape."

"That's a relief," Hoshino said. "I wasn't looking forward to another torture session."

"I know. Nakata's really sorry. But you did tell me you didn't mind pain, so I went ahead and did it as hard as I could."

"Yeah, I know that's what I said. But listen, Gramps, there are limits. Sometimes you've gotta use common sense. But I guess I shouldn't be complaining-you did fix my back. But man alive, I never felt anything like that in my life. The pain was unimaginable! It felt like you were ripping me apart. Like I died and came back to life or something."

"Nakata was dead for three weeks once."

"No kidding," Hoshino said. Still facedown, he took a gulp of tea and munched on some crunchy snacks he'd picked up at a convenience store. "So you really were dead?"

"I was."

"Where were you all that time?"

"Nakata doesn't remember. It felt like I was somewhere far away, doing something else. But my head was floating and I can't remember anything. Then I came back to this world and found out I was dumb. I couldn't read or write anymore."

"You must've left your ability to read and write over on the other side."

"Maybe so."

The two of them were silent for a time. Hoshino decided it was best to believe whatever the old man told him, no matter how eccentric it sounded. At the same time he felt uneasy, as if pursuing this dead-for-three-weeks idea any further would lead him into some chaotic, out-of-control situation. Better to turn the conversation back to more practical matters. "So, now that we're in Takamatsu, Mr. Nakata, where are you planning to go?"

"I have no idea," Nakata replied. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"What about that entrance stone?"

"That's right! Nakata completely forgot about it. We have to find the stone. But I don't have a clue where to look. My mind's floating and won't clear up. I wasn't too bright to begin with, and this kind of thing only makes it worse."

"We're in a bit of a fix, then, aren't we?"

"Yes, I'd say we are."

"Not that sitting here staring at each other's all that much fun. This won't get us anywhere."

"You're right."

"I think we should go around asking people, you know, if that stone's somewhere around here."

"If you say so, then that's what Nakata wants to do. I'm pretty dumb, so I'm used to asking people questions."

"My grandpa always said asking a question is embarrassing for a moment, but not asking is embarrassing for a lifetime."

"I agree. When you die, everything you know disappears."

"Well, that's not what he meant, exactly," Hoshino said, scratching his head. "Anyway, do you have a mental image of the stone? What kind of stone it is, how big it is, its shape or color? What it's used for? If we don't have some details, it's hard to ask. Nobody's going to know what the heck we're talking about if we just say, Is there an entrance stone anywhere around here? They'll think we're nuts. You see what I mean?"

"Yes, I do. I might be dumb, but I'm not nuts."

"Okay."

"The stone Nakata's looking for is very special. It's not so big. It's white, and doesn't have any smell. I don't know what it's used for. It's round, sort of like a rice cake." He held up his hands to indicate something the size of an LP record.

"Hmm. So if you spotted it, do you think you'd recognize it? You know, like-Hey, here it is."

"Nakata would know it right away."

"There must be some kind of story or legend behind it. Maybe it's famous and on display at a shrine or someplace."

"It could be, I suppose."

"Or maybe it's just in some house, and people use it as a weight when they make pickles."

"No, that's not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because nobody can move the stone."

"Nobody except you, you mean."

"Yes, I think Nakata probably can."

"After you move it, then what?"

Nakata did an uncharacteristic thing-he pondered this for a good long time. At least he looked like he was, briskly rubbing his short, salt-and-pepper hair. "I don't really know about that," he finally said. "All I know is it's about time somebody moved it."

Hoshino did some pondering himself. "And that somebody's you, right? At least for now."

"Yes," Nakata replied, "that's correct."

"Is the stone found only in Takamatsu?"

"No, it isn't. It doesn't really matter where it is. It just happens to be here right now. It would be much easier if it was in Nakano Ward."

"But moving that kind of stone must be risky."

"That's right. Maybe Nakata shouldn't bring this up, but it is very dangerous."

"Damn," Hoshino said, slowly shaking his head. He put on his Chunichi Dragons cap and pulled his ponytail out the hole in the back. "This is starting to feel like an Indiana Jones movie or something."

The next morning they went to the tourist information booth in the station to ask if there were any famous stones in Takamatsu or the vicinity.

"Stones?" the girl behind the counter said, frowning slightly. She'd been trained to introduce all the usual tourist places, but nothing beyond that, and the question clearly had her flustered. "What sort of stones are you looking for?"

"A round stone about so big," Hoshino said, forming his hands in a circle the size of an LP, just as Nakata had done. "It's called the entrance stone."

"'Entrance stone'?"

"Yep. That's the name. It's pretty famous, I imagine."

"Entrance to what, though?"

"If I knew that I wouldn't have to go to all this trouble."

The girl thought about it for a while. Hoshino gazed at her face the whole time. Kind of pretty, he judged, though her eyes are a bit too far apart, giving her the look of a cautious bovine. She made a few calls, but it didn't look like she was getting anywhere.

"I'm sorry," she finally said. "Nobody's heard of a stone by that name."

"Nobody?"

She shook her head. "Excuse me for asking, but are you here just to find this stone?"

"Yeah, I don't know if it's just to see it. Anyway, I'm from Nagoya. The old guy's from Nakano Ward in Tokyo."

"Yes, Nakata's from Nakano Ward," Nakata chimed in. "I rode in a lot of trucks, and even got treated to eel once. I came this far and haven't spent a cent of my own money."

"I see…," the girl said.

"Not to worry. If nobody's heard about the stone, what're ya gonna do, huh? It's not your fault. But maybe they call it something else. Are there any other famous stones around here? You know, something with a legend behind it, maybe? Or some stone people pray to? Anything like that?"

The girl looked timidly at Hoshino with her too-far-apart eyes, taking in his Chunichi Dragons cap, his hair and ponytail, his green-tinted sunglasses, pierced ear, and rayon aloha shirt. "I'd be happy to tell you how to get to the city public library. You could research the stone there. I don't know much about stones myself, I'm afraid."

The library, however, yielded nothing. There wasn't a single book in the place devoted to stones in or around Takamatsu. The reference librarian, saying they might run across a reference somewhere, plunked down a stack of books in front of them: Legends of Kagawa Prefecture, Legends of Kobo Daishi in Shikoku, A History of Takamatsu, and the like. Sighing deeply, Hoshino started leafing through them. For his part, Nakata carefully turned one page after another in a photo collection entitled Famous Stones of Japan.

"I can't read," he said, "so this is the first library I've ever been in."

"I'm not proud of it," Hoshino said, "but this is a first for me, too. Even though I can."

"It's kind of interesting now that we're here."

"Glad to hear it."

"There's a library in Nakano Ward. I think I'll stop by there every now and then. The best thing is they don't charge anything. Nakata had no idea they'd let you in if you can't read."

"I've got a cousin who was born blind, but he goes to see movies," Hoshino said. "What fun could that be?"

"I can see, but I've never been to a movie theater."

"You're kidding! I'll have to take you sometime."

The librarian came over and warned them to keep their voices down, so they stopped talking and went back to their books. When he finished with Famous Stones of Japan, Nakata put it back on the shelf and began flipping through Cats of the World.

Grumbling all the while, Hoshino managed to look through all the books piled up next to him. Unfortunately, he couldn't find any matches in any of them. There were several references to the stone walls of Takamatsu Castle, but the stones in those walls were so massive that for Nakata to pick one up was out of the question. There was also a promising legend about Kobo Daishi, a famous scholarly monk of the Heian period. It was claimed that when he lifted up a stone in a wilderness, a spring gushed out and the place became a fertile rice field, but that was the end of the story. Hoshino also read about one shrine that had a stone called the Treasure of Children Stone, but it was more than a yard tall and shaped like a phallus. No way that could be the one Nakata was looking for.

The two of them gave up, left the library, and went to a nearby diner for dinner. They both had noodles topped with tempura, Hoshino ordering an extra bowl of noodles and broth.

"I enjoyed the library," Nakata said. "I had no idea there were so many kinds of cats in the world."

"The stone thing didn't pan out, but that's all right," Hoshino told him. "We just got started. Let's get a good night's sleep and see what tomorrow brings."

The next morning they went back to the library. Like the day before, Hoshino read through a huge stack of books, one after the other. He'd never read so many books in his life. By now he was fairly conversant with the history of Shikoku, and he'd learned that people had worshipped different kinds of stones for centuries. But what he really wanted-a description of this entrance stone-was nowhere to be found. By afternoon his head was starting to ache, so they left the library, laid down on the grass in a park for a long while, and gazed at the clouds drifting by. Hoshino smoked, Nakata sipped at hot tea from his thermos.

"It's going to thunder again tomorrow," Nakata said.

"Meaning you're going to make it thunder?"

"No, Nakata can't do that. The thunder comes by itself."

"Thank God for that," Hoshino said.

They went back to their inn, took a bath, and then Nakata went to bed and was soon fast asleep. Hoshino watched a baseball game on TV with the sound down low, but since the Giants were soundly beating Hiroshima he got disgusted with the whole thing and turned it off. He wasn't sleepy yet and felt thirsty, so he went out and found a beer hall, and ordered a draft and a plate of onion rings. He was thinking of striking up a conversation with a young girl sitting nearby, but figured it wasn't the time or place to make a pass. Tomorrow morning, after all, it was back to searching for the elusive stone.

He finished his beer, pulled on his Chunichi Dragons cap, left, and just wandered around. Not the most appealing-looking city, he decided, but it felt pretty good to be walking around wherever he wanted in a place he'd never been before. He always enjoyed walking, anyway. A Marlboro between his lips, hands stuck in his pockets, he wandered from one main street to another and down various alleys. When he wasn't smoking he whistled. Some parts were lively and crowded, others deserted and deathly quiet. No matter where he found himself, he kept up the same pace. He was young, healthy, carefree, with nothing to fear.

He was walking down a narrow alley full of karaoke bars and clubs that looked like they'd be operating under different names in six months, and had just come to a dark, deserted spot when somebody called out behind him, "Hoshino! Hoshino!" in a loud voice.

At first he couldn't believe it. Nobody knew him in Takamatsu-it had to be some other Hoshino. It wasn't that common a name, but not that uncommon, either. He didn't turn around and kept walking. But whoever it was followed him, calling out his name.

Hoshino finally stopped and turned around. Standing there was a short old man in a white suit. White hair, a serious pair of glasses, a white mustache and goatee, white shirt, and string tie. His face looked Japanese, but the whole outfit made him look more like some country gentleman from the American South. He wasn't much over five feet tall but looked less like a short person than a miniature, scaled-down version of a man. He held both hands out in front of him like he was carrying a tray.

"Mr. Hoshino," the old man said, his voice clear and piercing, with a bit of an accent.

Hoshino stared at the man in blank amazement.

"Right you are! I'm Colonel Sanders."

"You look just like him," Hoshino said, impressed.

"I don't just look like Colonel Sanders. It's who I am."

"The fried-chicken guy?"

The old man nodded heavily. "One and the same."

"Okay, but how do you know my name?"

"Chunichi Dragons fans I always call Hoshino. Nagashima's your basic Giants name-likewise, for the Dragons it's got to be Hoshino, right?"

"Yeah, but Hoshino happens to be my real name."

"Pure coincidence," the old man boomed out. "Don't blame me."

"So what do you want?"

"Have I got a girl for you!"

"Oh, I get it," Hoshino said. "You're a pimp. That's why you're dolled up like that."

"Mr. Hoshino, I don't know how many times I have to say this, but I'm not dressed up as anybody. I am Colonel Sanders. Don't get mixed up here, all right?"

"Okay… But if you're the real Colonel Sanders, what the heck are you doing working as a pimp in a back alley in Takamatsu? You're famous, and must be raking in the dough from license fees alone. You should be kicking back at a poolside somewhere in the States, enjoying your retirement. So what's the story?"

"There's a kind of a warp at work in the world."

"A warp?"

"You probably don't know this, but that's how we have three dimensions. Because of the warp. If you want everything to be nice and straight all the time, then go live in a world made with a triangular ruler."

"You're pretty weird, you know that?" Hoshino said. "But hanging out with weird old guys seems to be my fate these days. Any more of this and I won't know up from down."

"That may be, Mr. Hoshino, but how about it? How about a nice girl?"

"You mean like one of those massage parlor places?"

"Massage parlor? What's that?"

"You know, those places where they won't let you do the dirty deed but can manage a BJ or a hand job. Let you come that way, but no in-and-out."

"No, no," Colonel Sanders said, shaking his head in irritation. "That's not it at all. My girls do it all-hand job, BJ, whatever you want, including the old in-and-out."

"Ah hah-so you're talking a soapland."

"What land?"

"Quit kidding around, okay? I've got somebody with me, and we've got an early start in the morning. So I don't have time for any fooling around tonight."

"So you don't want a girl?"

"No girl. No fried chicken. I'm going back to get some sleep."

"But maybe you won't get to sleep that easily?" Colonel Sanders said knowingly. "When a person's looking for something and can't find it, they usually can't sleep very well."

Hoshino stood there, mouth agape, staring at him. "Looking for something? How'd you know I'm looking for something?"

"It's written all over your face. By nature you're an honest person. Everything you're thinking is written all over your face. It's like one side of a split-open dried mackerel-everything inside your head's laid out for all to see."

Instinctively, Hoshino reached up and rubbed his cheek. He spread his hand open and stared at it, but there was nothing there. Written all over my face?

"So," Colonel Sanders said, one finger held up for emphasis. "Is what you're looking for by any chance round and hard?"

Hoshino frowned and said, "Come on, old man, who are you? How could you know that?"

"I told you-it's written all over your face. You don't get it, do you?" Colonel Sanders said, shaking his finger. "I haven't been in this business all these years for my health, you know. So you really don't want a girl?"

"I'm looking for a kind of stone. It's called an entrance stone."

"I know all about it."

"You do?"

"I don't lie. Or tell jokes. I'm a straight-ahead, no-nonsense type of guy."

"Do you know where the stone is?"

"I know exactly where it is."

"So, could you-tell me where?"

Colonel Sanders touched his black-framed glasses and cleared his throat. "Are you sure you don't want a girl?"

"If you'll tell me where the stone is, I'll think about it," Hoshino said dubiously.

"Great. Come with me." Without waiting for a reply, he walked briskly away down the alley.

Hoshino scrambled to keep up. "Hey, old man. Colonel. I've only got about two hundred bucks on me."

Colonel Sanders clicked his tongue as he trotted down the road. "That's plenty. That'll get you a fresh-faced, nineteen-year-old beauty. She'll give you the full menu-BJ, hand job, in-and-out, you name it. And afterward I'll throw this in for free-I'll tell you all about the stone."

"Jeez Louise," Hoshino gasped.