Lust Demented

{XI}

“HAWAII TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED.” Lars dropped the hurt on me as we both stared at the factory wall. It was graffiti that some people could crawl into and find brightly colored love in a crumbling land.

“I don’t have anything to say about that Lars.”

“I’m sorry I never said anything. You were just sitting in Queens writing your new book Lust Demented or whatever the fuck it’s called… and…” Lar slunk back. The banshee harem got the best of him.

“I didn’t want to bring a kid into the world that the mother didn’t want. Honestly, it still tears through my heart.” Last I heard Missy had Hawaii end the pregnancy for her. The whole situation left me disabled for some time.

“Fucked that everybody knows, but you Farrow…” Lars took a deep breath and I figured that I better do the same. “A while back Hawaii told me that when Missy showed up for the abortion… she couldn’t go through with it. I guess Missy was crying buckets… she was only six weeks, but the hormones hit her already… you know all filled up with maternal emotions… and Hawaii isn’t good with that. As a rule she never operates on people she knows, but Missy kept pushing and pushing until she got her way. I think Hawaii was just trying to get Missy off the operating table and she said…” Lars looked authentically upset. We were both soaked from the river, but it was clear that his eyes were tearing up with mine.

“What… what could she have said that made a difference?”

“Hawaii told Missy to… Sorry Farrow I think you should talk to her yourself. She should tell you.”

“Lars I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t tell me.”

“Fuck you Farrow you don’t want to know… trust me.”

“Lars… sometimes I hate your fucking guts, but I got your back to the end.”

Lars fell into the mural, banging his head rhythmically against the wildstyle until the words leaked out of him. “Hawaii told Missy that she could have everything she ever dreamed of. All she would have to do is go to Percy and tell him it was his baby. So that’s what she did.”

“How? What? How could he be so stupid? He’d never believe that. That would never work.”

“Missy fucked his brains out that night and every day after that. She controlled the old man. It was only a matter of six weeks. So by the time she was showing: The truth didn’t matter anymore. Someone had to take care of your baby.”

“Do you think he knew?”

“You know my father. If he did, he wouldn’t let anyone know. Either way it was working out for both of them until Missy lost the baby. Shortly after the miscarriage… I ran into her in Union Square passing through the farmers market. Dumb to the fact, I congratulated her. The words barely left my mouth when I noticed her face drop. She didn’t have to say anything. You two would’ve made a good-looking kid. A cool little bastard.”

“What did she say?”

“She said… that’s just the way life goes sometimes. Then she told me that I look just like my father.”

“I don’t see that.”

“Farrow I’m sorry.”