Mary, Mary

Chapter 20

IT WAS JUST AFTER MIDNIGHT when I finally got back to the hotel at Disney and received some more bad news. It wasn't just that Jamilla had flown back to San Francisco. I already knew that much and figured I was in the doghouse again with Jam.

When I entered the hotel room, I saw that Nana Mama was fast asleep on the sofa. A cluster of pale-blue crocheting was still wrapped around her fingers. She slept peacefully, like a child.

I didn't want to disturb the poor girl, but she came awake on her own. It had always been that way with Nana. When I was little, all I had to do was stand next to her bed if I was sick or had a nightmare. She always said that she watched over me, even while she was sleeping. Had she been watching over me tonight? I stared at the old woman for a quiet moment. I don't know how most people feel about their grandparents, but I loved her so much it hurt sometimes. Nana raised me from the age of nine. I finally leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

“Did you get my voice mail?” I asked.

Nana glanced absently at the hotel phone, with its flashing red message light.

“I guess not,” I said with a shrug.

She put a hand on my forearm. “Oh, Alex. Christine was here at the hotel. She came, and she took Little Alex back to Seattle. He's gone.”

My brain had a quick does-not-compute moment. Christine wasn't due to pick Alex up for another two days. She currently had custody of our son, but the trip to Disneyland had been talked out and agreed to. She even said it was a good idea.

I sat down hard on the edge of the couch. “I don't understand. What do you mean, she took Alex home? What's going on? Tell me everything.”

Nana shoved her crocheting into a tapestry bag at her side. "I was so mad, I could've spit.

She didn't seem like herself at all. She was shouting, Alex. She shouted at me, even at Janelle."

“What was she doing here, anyway? She wasn't supposed to ”She came down early That's the worst part. Alex, I think she was coming to spend some quality time with you and Little Alex. With all of us. And then when she found out you were working, she completely changed. Turned into an angry hornet just like that. There was nothing I could say to her I never saw anyone so angry so changed."

It was all coming too fast, and I struggled with a barrage of feelings. Most of all, I realized, I hadn't even gotten to say good-bye to my son, and now he was gone again.

“What about Alex? How was he?”

“He was confused, and seemed sad, the poor little boy He asked for you when his mother took him away He said you promised him this would be a vacation. He'd so looked forward to it. We all did. You know that, Alex.”

My heart clenched, and I saw Alex's face in my mind. It felt as though he was getting farther and farther from me, as if a piece of my life was slipping away “How were Jannie and Damon about it?” I asked then. Nana sighed heavily “They were brave soldiers, but Jannie cried herself to sleep tonight. I think Damon did, too. He hides it better. Poor things, they just moped around most of the night.”

We sat together on the sofa for a long, silent moment. I didn't know what to say “I'm sorry I wasn't here today,” I finally told Nana. “I know that doesn't mean much.”

She took my chin in her hand and stared into my eyes. Here it comes. Batten down the hatches.

“You're a good man, Alex. And you're a good father. Don't you forget that, especially now You just. . . you have a very difficult job.”

A few minutes later, I slipped into the room where jannie and Damon were sleeping. The way they lay on the covers, they looked like little kids again. I liked the visual effect, and I stood there, just watching them. Nothing ever healed me the way these two did. My babies, no matter how old you are.

Jannie slept at the edge of her bed with the comforter in a wad off to the side. I went over and covered her up.

“Dad?” Damon's whisper from behind caught me off guard. “That you?”

“What's up, Day?” I sat down on the edge of his bed and rubbed his back. I'd been doing it since he was an infant, and wouldn't stop until he made me.

“You have to work tomorrow?” he asked. "Is it tomorrow already?

There was no malice in his voice. He was too good a per son for that. If I was a pretty good father, Damon was a great son.

“No,” I told him. “Not tomorrow. We're on vacation, re- member?”