Moth Flight’s Vision

Chapter 25

Moth Flight scanned the nettle patch. She loved this part of the pine forest. Gaps in the canopy let narrow strips of sunshine reach the mossy forest floor and nettles thrived in the rare light.

Pebble Heart was waiting for her between the ditches that rutted the ground beyond the rise. She’d been with ShadowClan for nearly a moon now and lately had begun helping him gather herbs for his store. She was used to the gloom, although the tang of pinesap had begun to make her queasy.

But she wasn’t ready to go home.

She stretched her muzzle forward and nipped through the base of a fat-looking nettle stem. Then she dragged it over the rise, careful to stay clear of the shivering leaves.

“I think we have enough.” Pebble Heart stepped out of the way as she neared the ditch, leaving room for her to drop it over the edge.

It landed on top of the others and began to wilt slowly into the muddy water.

“Are the ones we soaked yesterday finished?” she asked.

Pebble Heart leaped the next ditch and reached his paw into the next. “Yes,” he called over his shoulder. “No sting left.”

Moth Flight shook out her fur. “I wonder if drying the nettles would get rid of the sting?”

“Drying herbs is easy on the moor,” Pebble Heart hauled up a dripping stem and laid it on the ground. “There’s plenty of wind and sunshine up there. It’s too damp to dry herbs here.”

“How are you going to get through leafbare without a store of dried herbs?”

“Dappled Pelt asked me the same question last night.”

Pebble Heart glanced at her as he hooked another stem from the ditch.

Moth Flight felt a flash of guilt. She’d missed the half-moon gathering at the Moonstone. “What did you tell her?”

“I asked if she could dry some herbs for ShadowClan.” She realized that he was looking at her hopefully. “Would you dry some too? When you return to the moor?” There was a question in his eyes.

Do you want me to leave?

Pebble Heart must have seen worry darken her gaze. “I mean, when you’re ready.”

Will I ever be ready? The ShadowClan cats asked nothing of her. They brought her prey and dipped their heads respectfully, and talked about everyday things, like how the prey was running, or how soon greenleaf was coming this year. Being among them was easy.

Her own Clanmates would be more inquisitive. They’d ask about Micah. And they’d expect her to return to her medicine cat duties. Moth Flight’s belly tightened. She wasn’t ready to look after anyone yet.

When she didn’t answer, Pebble Heart glanced down at the nettle stems. “We missed you at the Moonstone last night.”

“I wanted to come with you.” She had. She knew deep in her belly that being a medicine cat was her destiny. And helping the ShadowClan medicine cat was renewing her confidence. She had a sense of purpose once more, and satisfaction in her work had distracted her from her grief. Since Juniper Branch had kitted, she’d kept a close eye on the kits. She’d taken Pebble Heart to the edge of the oak forest to gather borage to make sure that Juniper Branch had enough milk for them. But she’d felt so weary in the past moon; she crept, exhausted, to her nest every night. The thought of the long trek to Highstones had been daunting. And, if she was being honest with herself, perhaps she wasn’t ready to see Micah among the StarClan cats. That means he’s really gone. “I was tired.”

“I understand.” Pebble Heart’s gaze flickered over her belly.

Had he noticed that her days of resting—eating prey, which other cats had caught—had begun to show in her swollen flanks? Perhaps it was time she pulled herself together and went back to her Clan. Her grief had lost the raw power that had silenced her for days at a time, but she still woke trembling in the night, her longing for Micah so strong that her heart roared in her ears.

“I’m not going to stop being a medicine cat,” she reassured him.

“I didn’t think you would.” He began to straighten the nettle stems.

“The other medicine cats know that, don’t they?”

“Of course.” He plucked a stringy old grass stem from the edge of the ditch and threaded it under the bundle he’d made.

“They told me to tell you not to worry about missing the meeting. They understood.”

“Did StarClan visit with you?” Moth Flight had been avoiding the question since Pebble Heart returned at dawn. Had

Micah been there? She didn’t want to know. If he had, having missed him would break her heart all over again. If he hadn’t, she’d worry that he would never be part of their ranks. But she had to know if StarClan had a message for her.

“Half Moon came alone,” Pebble Heart told her. “She only stayed long enough to tell us to look after you.”

Moth Flight blinked at him. Hadn’t she said anything about Micah? “Was that all?”

“Yes.” Pebble Heart wrapped the grass stem around the bundle. “Acorn Fur was disappointed. She’d been expecting to see her ancestors.”

Moth Flight stiffened, irritation prickling beneath her pelt.

“Acorn Fur was there?”

Pebble Heart threaded the grass around the stems again, pulling them tightly together. “She’s SkyClan’s medicine cat now.”

“She’s a spy!” Moth Flight snapped. “Clear Sky told her to watch Micah because he didn’t trust him.”

“That might be true.” Pebble Heart looked up. “But Micah taught her a lot. She knows more about healing than any other SkyClan cat. And she likes it. Besides—” He paused, avoiding her gaze. “I’ve had dreams about her healing her Clanmates.”

“You knew she’d become their medicine cat?” Outrage flared in Moth Flight’s belly. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“I never knew,” Pebble Heart corrected her. “I have lots of dreams. They don’t all turn out to be visions.” He met her gaze steadily. “Seeing Acorn Fur giving herbs to sick cats isn’t the same as knowing Micah would die. Even if I’d guessed he would die, would you really have wanted to know?”

“I could have—”

He cut her off. “What? Changed his destiny? Loved him more?”

Moth Flight stared at him, wordless. If she had known, would she have done anything differently? Her time with Micah had been wonderful. Would she really have wanted the shadow of his death looming over those perfect days?

Pebble Heart’s mew softened. “I was worried you didn’t come to the Moonstone because you blamed StarClan for letting him die.”

She blinked at him. “I did blame them,” she admitted. “But that’s not why I didn’t go.”

“Do you still blame them?”

Moth Flight shook her head. “Even if they’d known his destiny, they might have been powerless to change it. And you’re right: What would I have done if I’d known?”

As she spoke, Pebble Heart’s gaze flicked past her shoulder.

She stiffened as she saw his hackles rise. Opening her mouth, she tasted the air. Cat scents were billowing behind her.

She turned, flattening her ears.

Two cats padded from among the trees.

“Moth Flight!” A plump black-and-white farm cat called out to her.

The brown tom at her side swished his tail. “We thought we’d never find you!”

“Cow!” Moth Flight hurried toward them, her heart quickening with delight. “Mouse!”

Cow’s gaze was rimmed with sadness. “We heard about Micah.”

Mouse’s tail drooped. “Did he suffer?”

Moth Flight stopped in her tracks, her mew catching in her throat as she remembered Micah’s last moments. “Not for long,” she managed to mew.

Cow weaved around her, her soft pelt brushing warmly against Moth Flight’s fur.

Mouse dipped his head to Pebble Heart. “I hope you don’t mind us coming,” he meowed. “We crossed the moor, looking for Micah. A cat named Gorse Fur told us about the accident.”

Cow held Moth Flight’s gaze, her eyes brimming with sadness. “He said you were with him at the end.”

Moth Flight wondered for a moment if they blamed her for taking Micah away. But Cow wrapped her tail over Moth

Flight’s spine, her gaze warm with sympathy. “It must have been hard for you.”

“At least I was with him.” Her throat tightened as she remembered. She swallowed back grief, noticing their dusty pelts. “You must be tired. It’s a long journey from the farm.”

Pebble Heart padded forward. “Come back to the camp and rest.” He glanced at the bunch of stems. “I need to get these back before they start to rot.”

Cow stared at the sodden bundle. “Why are you gathering wet nettles?”

Mouse glanced around the shadowy pine forest, puzzled.

“Isn’t there any prey here?”

“There’s plenty,” Pebble Heart purred. “I’m collecting nettles in case one of my Clanmates gets sick.”

Cow blinked. “Will stinging them help?”

Moth Flight’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “They don’t sting, now that we’ve soaked them. They’ll help soothe wounds and, if you eat them, they ease aching bones.”

“You seem a lot smarter than when we first met.” Cow winked at Pebble Heart. “She tried to cross a field while the farm dog was herding sheep.”

Moth Flight purred, remembering. “Micah saved me.”

Cow caught her eye. “You must miss him.”

“I do,” she answered huskily. “We were mates.”

Cow pressed her muzzle to Moth Flight’s cheek.

Pebble Heart flicked his tail toward brambles showing among the pines. “The camp’s not far.” He picked up one end of the grass stem between his teeth and began to drag the nettle bundle across the forest floor. Mouse hurried to grab the trailing end.

Cow fell in beside Moth Flight. “How long since Micah died?”

“A moon,” Moth Flight told her softly.

They walked on, sharing their grief in silence.

As they neared the camp, Raven Pelt padded from the entrance, tasting the air. His gaze flashed toward them, narrowing as he saw Mouse and Cow.

Moth Flight hurried to meet him. “They’re friends,” she explained. “They lived on the same farm as Micah.”

Tall Shadow slid out of camp, her nose twitching. “Do we have visitors?”

Cow dipped her head to the ShadowClan leader. “We came to see Moth Flight.”

“Come in and share some prey,” Tall Shadow told her. “It’s running well at the moment. There’s more than we can eat.”

She led Cow into camp, the scent of fresh-kill heavy in the air. Moth Flight and Raven Pelt followed at her heels, while Mouse and Pebble Heart dragged the nettles after them.

Three kits looked up from the long grass where Juniper

Branch was resting.

The biggest, a black tom with an orange tail, blinked at them. “Look, Dusk Nose!” He nudged the she-kit beside him.

“Visitors!” He dashed across the clearing.

Dusk Nose, a black-and-orange tortoiseshell, followed.

“Who are you?” she called to Cow.

“Are you a Clan cat?” Another tom-kit hurried after them, his dappled brown pelt perfectly camouflaged against the shady forest floor.

Moth Flight purred. “This is Cow,” she explained. “She and Mouse were friends of Micah.”

“I’m Dangling Leaf.” The orange-tailed tom scrambled to a halt in front of Cow.

“I’m Dusk Nose,” his sister mewed.

The dappled brown tom stopped beside them. “I’m Shade

Pelt.”

Dangling Leaf tipped his head. “Do you know Micah’s dead?” he asked Cow.

Moth Flight flinched, but Cow returned his inquisitive gaze steadily. “Yes.”

Dusk Nose nudged her brother. “You can’t ask questions like that, Shade Pelt. It’s rude.”

“Raven Pelt says we can ask anything we like,” Dangling Leaf mewed back.

Shade Pelt sniffed. “He also says we have to know when to be quiet, or we’ll never be good hunters.” He blinked at Moth

Flight. “Do you mind us talking about Micah?”

Moth Flight ignored the sadness pricking in her chest. “No.”

It wouldn’t change anything to pretend Micah had never existed. It wouldn’t hurt any less.

Dangling Leaf was still staring at Cow. “Why did you come, if Micah’s dead?”

“We came to see Moth Flight,” Cow told him.

Dusk Nose lifted her chin. “Are you her friends too?”

“Yes.” Cow gazed around the camp. “This looks very cozy.”

Behind them, Mouse was helping Pebble Heart hoist the nettle stems high into the bramble wall of the camp to drain.

The nettles dangled from the prickly branches and dripped muddy water onto the ground.

“I have my own den,” Moth Flight told her.

“You’ve got Sun Shadow’s den,” Shade Pelt corrected her.

Moth Flight shifted her paws. “That’s true. Sun Shadow’s letting me use his den until I go home.”

Cow blinked at her. “Isn’t this your home?”

Tall Shadow answered for her. “She lives on the moor.”

Cow glanced at Moth Flight’s belly. “Will you go home to have your kits?”

Moth Flight stared at her. “I’m not having kits!”

“Are you sure, dear?” Cow tipped her head sympathetically.

Moth Flight froze. Could I be having kits? Surely she’d know? Then she remembered: her tiredness, her queasiness…

She glanced at Tall Shadow, shock pulsing through her pelt.

The ShadowClan leader dropped her gaze.

Pebble Heart padded closer, his ears twitching. “We thought you knew.”

Moth Flight’s paws seemed to root into the ground. The camp swam around her. “I didn’t think!” Her mind whirled.

“I’ve never had kits before.” She’d thought that her easy life in ShadowClan was making her fat.

Tall Shadow blinked. “We thought you were happy to have something left of Micah.”

Micah’s kits. Moth Flight’s heart seemed to turn in her chest.

She was carrying Micah’s kits.

Cow purred loudly. “They’ll be as handsome and brave as their father.”

Kits! Growing inside her! “I can’t!” She backed away, shocked. She could hardly take care of herself! How could she be responsible for new lives? Her thoughts flashed back to Slate’s kits, lost on the moor because of her. Then she remembered Juniper Branch’s kitting. The pain! The ground seemed to sway beneath her paws.

Cow pressed against her. “It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

Moth Flight’s thoughts swirled. “I need to go home.” The need tugged deep in her belly. “I have to see Wind Runner.”

Suddenly she wanted to nestle among her kin and shelter in their warmth.

Tall Shadow dipped her head. “Someone must escort you,” she meowed firmly. “You shouldn’t travel alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” Moth Flight answered, still dazed from the shock.

Pebble Heart stepped forward. “I’ll take her.”

Moth Flight looked at him blankly. “Can we go now?” Her gaze flitted distractedly to Cow and Mouse. “I’m sorry to leave you. You’ve only just arrived. But—”

Cow’s eyes rounded with sympathy. “We understand.”

Tall Shadow flicked her tail. “We’ll make sure they are fed and rested before they head home.”

Moth Flight hardly heard the ShadowClan leader. Her thoughts were already racing toward the moor, where her Clanmates were waiting for her. How could she have stayed away so long? “I’ve been so selfish,” she murmured to herself as she headed for the camp entrance.

Pebble Heart caught up to her and fell in step beside her.

“Perhaps you should have some thyme before we go,” he suggested quietly. “You seem shocked.”

“I’m okay.” Moth Flight kept her gaze fixed ahead. It didn’t matter if she was shocked. She had to be strong now. She was carrying Micah’s kits. Nothing was more important than that.