My Blood Approves

Chapter 16

Peter still hadn’t returned from the business trip, and I still hadn’t made a decision. My entire life felt like it was at an impasse. To keep me busy, Jack had taken me to a play and the zoo, but neither of those things really alleviated anything that was going on. Everything felt so up in the air, and I knew that I had to deal with things before the uncertainty killed me.

As soon as I woke up, I went downstairs, in my jammies with my hair all messed up and my eyes full of sleep. Ezra sat on the chaise lounge, reading a book, and Mae sat near his feet, doing a large puzzle on the hardwood floor.

When I had gotten up, I heard the shower running in Jack’s room, so I assumed that’s where he was. He’d be otherwise occupied, making the conversation easier.

“Is something the matter?” Ezra looked me over, sounding concerned.

“Are you alright, love?” Mae chimed in, looking equally worried.

“When is Peter coming home?” I demanded. A part of me I tried very hard to ignore was starting to ache painfully because it had been so long I’d seen him. My body apparently required a Peter quota that was not being met.

“I don’t know for sure.” Ezra adjusted himself so he was sitting up fully.

“Would you like me to call him and find out?”

“What’s going to happen when he comes home?” I crossed my arms on my chest, trying to look tough, even though I knew it was as ridiculous as it sounded. Fortunately, though, neither of them laughed. Instead, they just exchanged worried looks that made me nervous. “Well?”

“We don’t know exactly,” Ezra answered carefully.

“He hates me.” Just saying it aloud made it hurt, but it didn’t change any of the facts. “Or if you prefer, he hates the way he feels about me. That’s not gonna change when he comes home, is it?”

“We don’t really understand what’s happening with the two of you. I can’t answer that,” Ezra explained sadly.

“What are you trying to find out?” Mae asked.

“If Peter doesn’t want me, then what’s the point of me turning?” Again, they exchanged looks, but didn’t immediately answer me. “Are you expecting that he’ll magically change his mind when he gets back?”

“Not really, no,” Ezra admitted honestly.

“Then what is the point of all of this?” I gestured to everything around me, wondering what they were getting out of putting me up and hanging around me like this.

“All of what?” Jack bounded down the stairs and into the living room, running a hand through his damp hair, and I grimaced inwardly. Part of the reason I had decided to have this talk now was because I knew he wouldn’t be around. Like Milo, he had a way of making me feel guilty if I even suggested not being around him.

“She wants to know what’s going to happen once Peter comes back,” Ezra explained when it appeared that I wouldn’t. I shifted uneasily and looked over Jack, who had suddenly become very nervous.

His blue eyes flitted over me, then he turned to Ezra and Mae for help.

Ezra had discarded his book on the chaise and rested a hand gently on Mae’s shoulder. She smiled helplessly towards us, and I knew they didn’t have a good answer. Things had been set in motion, and while they didn’t really have any plans to change them, there was no real reason for them to move forward anymore.

“He’s not gonna want me, Jack,” I pointed out miserably. “What’s the point of me turning?”

“What’s the point of anyone turning?” Jack blustered incredulously. He scoffed and looked away from me. “Come on, Alice. There isn’t a point to any of this!”

“There has to be point!” I shouted, surprised by the quavering in my voice. It was just starting to hit me what I was saying, what I was rejecting, and I could tell by the stunned, hurt expression on his face that it was sinking in too.

“If I’m going to destroy my brother’s life, it has to be for a reason!”

“You’re not going to destroy his life!” Jack rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes like it hurt too much keep them open. “So what if Peter doesn’t ever change his mind? Good! I hope he doesn’t! They want you here! I want you here!”

“Doesn’t that give me even more of a reason not to turn?” I gave him a hard look. The kiss wanted to replay itself in my mind, but I couldn’t let it, or Jack might react to my heartbeat.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

He tried to pretend like he didn’t understand, but the quick movement of his eyes led me to believe he got it completely. That kiss had been incredible, and the risk of us doing it again was too great. He would’ve bit me if Mae hadn’t walked in, and we couldn’t count on her to walk in at just the right moment every time we were alone.

“Jack, it’s not good for either of us for me to stay around,” I told him softly with tears in my eyes.

“No!” Jack insisted fiercely. “That’s just stupid! I don’t know what went wrong. I don’t know why your blood is for him, but it’s a mistake! Okay? You’re not supposed to be for him! And there’s gotta be a way around it! It may take time, but we have all of eternity to figure it out! You really wanna throw that away just because I don’t have the answer right now?”

“Why did you even introduce me to him?” I blurted out. “If I had never met him, this wouldn’t have happened! This wouldn’t have mattered! Why did you push me on him?”

“I never pushed you on him, never!” He took a step towards me, then changed his mind, and took a step back. Shaking his head, he breathed deeply.

“I didn’t know any of this. I wasn’t reacting right to you, and they thought that you were for Peter. And I didn’t realize what I…” He trailed off, looking despondently at the floor.

“You two had bonded in a way that none of had realized,” Ezra offered helpfully. “It wasn’t until he started feeling threatened by Peter that we appreciated what was happening, and by then it was too late.” Slowly, he got up and walked over to us, attempting to relieve some of the tension. “None of us are trying to pressure you into a decision, but Jack has made valid points. You turning isn’t about Peter, and it shouldn’t be. You have a future with us, if you choose it.” He nodded once at me, then made an imperceptible motion towards Mae. She rose quickly and they left the room, leaving Jack and I alone.

It was obvious that we were supposed to hash things out and come up with some kind of resolution, but I didn’t know how too. It wasn’t until I was yelling at Jack that I even knew it hurt me that he’d ever wanted me to be with Peter. That had been something I had been trying to overcome ever since Ezra had claimed that Jack had fallen in love with me. Because if he truly loved me, then why would he ever want me to be with his brother? No matter what Mae thought or what my blood said.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes with you,” Jack admitted quietly. “But I need a chance to rectify them. If you give me time, I swear I can make it up to you.”

He looked at me, his wounded blue eyes pleading with me to stay with him.

The horrible truth of it was that I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but would it really be worth it? I’d have to give up my brother, and I’d still be trapped in something painful and inexorable with his brother. We couldn’t actually be together, no matter what decision I made.

“If you give me time, I know that between Ezra, Peter, and I, we can find a solution to this.” He took a step towards me, trying to decide whether or not to touch me, before finally deciding against it. “I promise you. There is a way for it to work.”

“That doesn’t answer everything,” I reminded him. In fact, that didn’t really answer anything. It was just a vague promise to solve something someday, but it was still a hard offer to resist.

“Milo’s your brother, and he’s a bright kid. He’s not gonna need you forever,” he pointed out gently. “In a few more years, when he starts dating and going to college, he’s not even gonna wanna be around you. It’s just for right now that he needs you.”

“That’s probably true.” I was about to argue that it didn’t change anything, but then I understood what he was getting at. “I’m still really young. I could stay with Milo for another three or four years, and it wouldn’t change anything. Not with me turning. It would change everything for him, but I could still turn, and I’d still be younger than you are.”

“And we don’t have to move for another three years or so,” Jack nodded in agreement. “Until then, you could continue living with him, being around him, and Ezra and I could try to figure out what we’re gonna do about all of this.”

“Would that be okay?” I asked, feeling oddly paranoid.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He shrugged, and he had calmed enough where he could grin at the idea. “It’s just a couple years. It means nothing to us.”

“You don’t care what I say as long as I agree to be with you,” I smiled at him.

“That’s probably true,” he admitted.

“What if I decided not change? And I got all and old wrinkly? Would you still want to be around me then?”

“How wrinkly are we talking about?” Jack teased. I tried to swat him playfully, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. His arms were strong and reassuring around me, and he rested his hand on my cheek, gently forcing me to look into his eyes. His skin was warming up, but he tried not to notice.

“This will work out. Somehow.”

“I know.” It was hard not believe when he looked at me like that, but just the same, I managed to find a way not to.

After talking it all over with Mae and Ezra, they both agreed with my decision. Time was, for the most part, inconsequential to them, and Mae was definitely for me having more time to consider everything. They also agreed that for both mine and Jack’s sake, it would probably be better if I stayed at home until we got things straightened out in the whole Peter arena. Mae had apparently filled Ezra in on the kiss, and he admonished us for such risky behavior. He went to explain to us that Peter was a much stronger vampire than Jack, and therefore, a rather large threat to both of us.

Regretfully, I packed my things to head back home. Saying goodbye to all the little treasures of their house was terrible, but I knew that I’d be back again.

Probably tomorrow afternoon. After all, Jack couldn’t stay away from me for very long, and I was glad for it.

When I walked in the door with the massive duffle bag slung over my shoulder, Milo was sitting at the computer. As soon as he saw me, his entire face lit up and he rushed over to me, throwing his arms tightly around me and almost knocking me over.

“You’re back!” he squealed.

“Sure am.” I pried him off, smiling at his exuberance. “Do you think Mom’ll mind?”

“I don’t know why she would!” Milo looked like he was going to explode.

He had truly believed that I wasn’t coming back, and for awhile, so had I. “She’s at work right now, but I’m sure she won’t care.”

“I hope not.” I knew I had some penance to do with her, and I wasn’t looking forward to that. Or getting up for school the next morning, especially since I had spent the last few nights on a vampire sleeping schedule, which was quite contrary to a school one.

“Why did you come back?” Milo asked curiously.

“I figured that somebody had to be here to help take care of you.” I reached out and ruffled his hair, and he pulled away, just like I thought he would.

“I’m not a little kid.” He smoothed out his hair, but I hadn’t even really messed it up. “And besides that, I spend more time taking care of you than you do me.”

“That is true.” Milo had never really needed anyone to do anything for him. He just kind of wanted somebody to be there, and I could at least manage that.

“On the subject of which, I should probably whip us up some supper.”

Hurriedly, he went over to the fridge, talking amicably about the ridiculously extravagant meal he had planned for us tonight. Leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him as he worked, I knew that I made the right choice in staying with him.