Out of Turn

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

No one spoke. The look of shock on Blane’s face echoed, I was sure, the one on mine.

“Well, that sucks.”

I looked at Kade, thinking that was the understatement of the century. He seemed unfazed by the information, but the set of his face was grim.

“I managed to destroy the results,” Jared continued. “But when they can’t find them, I’m sure they’ll test again.”

“How did they get my DNA?” Blane asked.

“The Navy,” Kade answered, getting up and going to the sideboard to pour a drink. “I bet they took your DNA when you joined the SEALs, in case they needed to identify your remains at some point.”

Nausea rose in my throat at the thought of there not being enough of Blane’s body left to identify him while he was in combat.

“Fuck.” Blane’s hands were clenched in fists. “They would have needed a court order for that.”

“Maybe not if someone has friends in high places,” Jared speculated. “The point is, the results match you, not James. What are we going to do about it?”

“Why are you putting your job on the line for Blane?” Kade suddenly asked, taking a swallow of the scotch in his hand. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What’s in it for you?”

“Kade—” Blane broke in.

“No, it’s okay,” Jared interrupted. He addressed Kade. “Blane was deployed in Afghanistan at the same time my brother was there.”

“Your brother’s a SEAL?” Kade asked.

“No, he was in the Army. But he was part of a team that got trapped by insurgents. It was too hot—no one could get in to get them.” He tipped his head toward Blane, who’d gone to the window, his hands braced on his hips. “Except Blane here. He and another guy got in to where my brother was holed up and fought their way out. He saved my brother and two of his buddies.”

I glanced over at Blane, but he was looking out the window. He didn’t respond to Jared’s story, not that I thought he would, and the account of what he’d done didn’t surprise me.

“So now if he needs something, I’m here to do it,” Jared finished.

“Not if it costs you your job,” Blane said, turning around to face him.

Jared stood. “You let me worry about that. I’ll check into those phone records, but we need a break in this case—and soon.”

“Thanks, Jared,” Blane said.

Jared walked out, leaving me with Blane and Kade. Still reeling from the results of the DNA tests, I sat down heavily on the sofa.

“Kade, give us a minute, please,” Blane said, his tone filled with quiet resignation. His hands were in his pockets as he stared again out the window.

Kade tossed back the rest of his drink in one swallow, his gaze resting on me. “No problem,” he said, closing the door on his way out.

That’s when I remembered. Blane didn’t realize I knew he’d lied to the police about sleeping with Kandi the night of her murder. What I still didn’t understand was how the DNA matched. Blane had told Kade that he always used a condom.

Silence reigned for several minutes, and I didn’t break it. Blane had something he wanted to say, obviously, so I forced myself to wait and tried not to fidget. Finally, Blane turned and approached me, stopping a few feet away.

“When you and I broke up,” he began—which I thought was a nice way of saying, When I accused you of cheating and dumped you—“I realized after talking with Kade that I’d made a huge mistake.” He grimaced. “Though we didn’t really talk, I guess. More like he kicked my ass, which I deserved.”

Couldn’t disagree with that.

“I thought about what I’d said, what I’d done, and I knew I couldn’t take it back. You had to hate me. I’d lost the one person who loved me for me, and I couldn’t face it. So I threw myself into work, but I felt dead inside.”

A sob was building in my chest, but I held on, not knowing if I wanted to hear this or not.

“Kandi came by one night for some reason or other I don’t remember, and… I slept with her. I realize you know that she and I continued having this… relationship right up until the night she died. And I know you heard me tell the cops I didn’t sleep with her that night—”

“But you did,” I finished for him.

His face was unreadable. “Yes.”

I bowed my head, unable to look at him. “And you didn’t use…” I couldn’t say the word. Had he lied to Kade? I had no idea why the thought of him not using a condom with Kandi bothered me so much, it just did. Maybe it was because he’d told Kade he’d only ever not worn one with me.

“I used a condom,” Blane said. “I don’t know—I guess maybe it broke or something. I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention.” He hesitated. “I’d been drinking that night. You and I had talked the night before and it was still… on my mind. I don’t think I was as considerate with her as I should have been.” His face was stark with grief.

“Are you saying you were using her that night to get back at me?” I asked. “Because you thought Kade and I were sleeping together?” The very idea that my actions had caused Blane to take his frustration out on Kandi made me ill. If I hadn’t slept with Kade, Blane might not have gone over there or had sex with Kandi that night. He might not now be the focus of a murder investigation sure to ruin his career, if not his life.

Blane’s smile was bitter. “Not such a hero now, am I.” The self-loathing in that statement was something I’d never heard from Blane before.

“This is all my fault,” I said with dawning horror. “All of it.”

“What? No! Don’t be ridiculous,” Blane said, walking over to me. “I’m not blaming you for my actions, Kat. I just wanted to explain—”

“That everything you did that night had nothing to do with Kandi and everything to do with me!” I interrupted, my voice shrill. “Tell me that’s not true.”

“Listen to me—” he began.

I jumped to my feet and headed for the door. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt as though it was wrapped in tight bands that squeezed the air out of me. It was my fault. Kandi was dead, Blane’s life was ruined, all because of me.

Blane made a grab for me, but I tore my arm away and threw open the door. “Kat, wait!” he called.

Kade was standing in the hallway near the front door, sorting through a stack of mail. He looked up when I hurried toward him.

“Keys,” I gasped. I just needed to hold it together for a few more moments, just until I was alone. “Please.”

His blue eyes were intent on mine, seeing way too much as he handed me his car keys without a word.

I felt Blane’s hands settle on my waist.

“Don’t leave,” he said.

“Let me go.” I tried to twist away, but he held me even tighter, pulling me in to him.

“You can’t leave like this,” he said, and I could hear desperation in his voice.

I fought now, self-preservation kicking in. “I said, let me go!”

I was suddenly free and I stumbled forward a couple of steps.

“She wants to go, so let her go,” Kade said, his voice like steel.

“Don’t get in my way, Kade,” Blane threatened, trying to push past him.

“What the fuck did you do now?” Kade retorted, blocking Blane’s path to me. “For you supposedly being the responsible one, I seem to be cleaning up a lot of your messes, big brother.”

“Out of my way!” Blane shoved Kade, who didn’t budge.

“You want her, you’re gonna have to go through me.”

I jerked open the front door and glanced back, but Blane and Kade were locked in their own battle of wills as they stood nose to nose. My vision blurred and I turned away. Moments later, I was in Kade’s Mercedes, speeding away from Blane’s home.

For a while, I just drove and didn’t pay a lot of attention as to where. I kept replaying the conversation between Blane and me over and over inside my head.

Now that I’d had some time, I realized Blane hadn’t been blaming me, but that didn’t make me feel any better. I was angry at Blane for how he’d treated Kandi, when I thought I’d never have any reason to sympathize with her. Was it a relationship she’d gone into with her eyes wide open? Yes, but that didn’t lessen the fact that Blane had taken advantage of her affection, using her to salve his own emotional wounds.

I drove until there was nothing but countryside around me and the road was a narrow path winding through trees, their branches overhanging and shading it. On a whim, I pulled onto a dirt path and turned off the car.

I untied the scarf from my neck, got out and started walking, realizing before long that the pumps I wore were ill-suited to hiking. Reaching down, I took them off, leaving them where they lay.

The grass was cool under my feet, the feel of the earth against my soles taking me back to when I was young and my mom never could get me to wear shoes outside in the summer. Even after the time I’d stepped on a bee, I still regularly ditched my shoes to feel the warmth of the sun-kissed ground between my toes.

I stumbled upon a clear glade among the trees, spots of sunshine breaking through the clouds to dapple the ground. The grass hadn’t grown very high, so I sat down. I had a passing thought that I was getting the nice dress I wore dirty but couldn’t bring myself to care enough to get up.

It wasn’t as hot as it should have been for July, and it was even nicer in the shade. I was glad for the brief respite from the Indiana summer sauna.

I closed my eyes, deliberately bringing to mind happier times when my parents were alive. I knew back then that my dad had wanted a son, but I never felt he was disappointed that he had a daughter instead. One time when I was still small, I’d asked him if he wished I was a boy.

“Turns out, I’m more of a girl daddy than a boy daddy,” he’d said with a smile as he hoisted me in his arms. “God knows best, sweetheart, even if we don’t always see it right away.”

The sounds of the country calmed me. The breeze rustled the leaves on the trees, birds chirped nearby, and I could hear the distant buzz of a bee or two.

I lay down on the grass and stared up at the sky. The clouds were breaking up, their white, cottony shapes drifting by as the sun moved slowly overhead.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, I opened my eyes to see Kade standing above me.

“A princess asleep in the forest?” He held up my shoes, dangling from his fingers. “Shall I call you Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty?”

I smiled, my heart leaping in my chest to see him, but I wasn’t surprised that he was there. I’d known he’d find me, as he always did.

I sat up, running my fingers through my hair in case there were any leaves or grass in it. “I don’t feel much like either at the moment,” I said.

“That’s all right,” he said, sitting down next to me. “After all, I’m hardly Prince Charming.” I noticed he hadn’t even bothered to change his clothes before coming after me.

“How’d you find me?” I asked.

He cocked an eyebrow. “You seriously think I wouldn’t have a way of tracking my brand-new car?”

I laughed lightly. Of course. Should’ve known. He was close enough that I could lean my head against his arm, strong and solid beneath my cheek.

“How’d it get to this point?” I asked after a while.

Kade’s sigh said he knew exactly what I was talking about. “Who the hell knows?” he said quietly. “It just… did.

“I gave Blane the DVD Tish brought,” he continued. “Thought we’d use it as blackmail rather than you going to the cops.”

“Will that work?”

“James values his reputation more than he wants to put Blane away. I think it will.”

“Can’t we get more evidence for what he did to Kandi?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I added the phone records, that will help, but I don’t know if we can do any more without dragging Blane into it again. If James will drop the charges, that may have to be enough.”

That made me sad. Kandi wouldn’t see justice for what had been done to her.

“Blane’s not going to go see James himself, is he?”

Kade shook his head. “Nah. I’ll go see Junior later.” He turned and looked down at me. “I wanted to check on you first.”

“I’m fine,” I said.

His smile was without humor. “Of course you are.”

Just then, I spied a basket sitting on his other side. “What’s that?”

“I thought you’d be hungry, so Mona packed some food. She insisted on putting it in an honest-to-God basket.”

“A picnic?” I said, delighted. I crawled to the basket and opened it. “It’s been ages since I went on a picnic.”

“You like eating in the dirt, bugs getting on your food, and grass sticking to your ass?”

I laughed, pulling out the containers Mona had packed. “Now who’s the princess?” I teased.

Kade grinned at my joke, the genuine smile wiping away the hard edge in his eyes. I quickly glanced away, my heart hurting because he looked like that so rarely.

“So let’s see,” I said, removing lids. “Fried chicken, grapes, cheese, strawberries, and brownies. Yum.” I reached farther into the basket and pulled out a cold bottle of white wine. “It seems she remembered everything,” I said, my eyebrows climbing. Surely, Mona wasn’t playing matchmaker?

“Except silverware,” Kade said, peering into the basket.

“You don’t need silverware with fried chicken,” I said, rolling my eyes.

I handed Kade a corkscrew from the basket and he opened the wine. We ate, passing the wine back and forth like teenagers sneaking a bottle of booze. I teased him about his reluctance to get his fingers greasy with the chicken.

“You are such a baby,” I said, grinning. I clambered over to him and held up a chicken leg. “Some things are meant to be a little messy.”

His grin turned wicked. “I don’t mind messy. In fact, I have a whole list of activities that are meant to be messy. Coincidentally, they all involve you. Clothing optional.”

My pulse quickened and my smile faded.

I was really going to miss him.

Kade’s grin melted away, too, as we stared into each other’s eyes. I dropped the chicken leg, leaned forward, and kissed him.

I could taste the wine on his tongue and I buried my fingers in his silky hair. My body pressed against his and his arms crept around my waist to pull me closer.

When he lifted his head, we were both breathing hard. My hands moved to cup his face. The soft shadow on his jaw was a gentle abrasion against my lips as I pressed my mouth to his cheek. I brushed kisses along his jaw and down his neck, my fingers moving to the buttons of his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“You have to ask?” I murmured against his skin, freeing more buttons.

His hands grabbed mine, stilling them.

“I heard you and Blane arguing,” he said. “Is this about getting back at him?”

I couldn’t blame him for asking. The way the three of us were tied so closely together, it was an obvious question.

“This has nothing to do with him,” I said, looking into his eyes. “It’s about us. You and me.”

I reached behind me and slid down the zipper of my dress. Standing, I dragged it over my head and tossed it aside. The look on Kade’s face made me glad I’d worn a lace bra and panty set that was the palest ivory, nearly matching my skin.

I straddled his legs and settled myself on his lap. His hands automatically moved to my back. I pressed my mouth to his once, twice, then looked into the ocean-blue of his eyes.

“Are you going to make me ask?”

My question seemed to break through Kade’s stunned immobility, his mouth taking mine with a fevered desperation.

It was an easy decision, wanting Kade to make love to me. I loved him, though I couldn’t tell him that. Blane and I were over, and there was no future for Kade and me. I had a brief moment of regret. That day I’d first seen him in the courthouse… Maybe if I’d said something then—

But what was past was past and I couldn’t change it. What I could do was make a memory.

Sunlight filtered through the trees as the last of the clouds drifted away, bathing us in a warm glow. Kade’s hair shone like a raven’s wing in the light. His hand brushed my hair as he kissed me. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. His hands left me briefly while he shrugged off the garment, then were back and sliding up my back to unhook my bra.

I broke off our kiss, smiling softly at him as I tossed aside the scrap of lace. Our bodies pressed together and my breath caught at the feel of his skin against mine. Hearing Kade’s groan, I guessed he felt the same.

He touched me so carefully, so reverently, as if I weren’t real, that I might disappear at any moment. His head bent to my breast, the heat of his mouth closing over my nipple. The gentle suction of his mouth sent a direct current along the nerve tracing between my legs and I moaned.

Kade licked and stroked and caressed me as though we had an eternity together, until I felt as though my skin was on fire from the inside out. My panties were long gone, removed at some point by Kade, and now I lay on my back, his hand between my legs.

I clutched at his shoulders as he kissed me, the strokes of his fingers making my thighs tremble. His mouth moved to my breast again, his tongue doing things that made me whimper. His hand moved faster between my parted thighs, my knees bent and open shamelessly wide.

Kade’s head lifted and I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn’t stop the wave of intense pleasure that crashed over me and I cried out with the force of it.

When I opened my eyes, Kade was watching. Embarrassment struck and heat flooded my cheeks.

“You look like a goddess,” he said roughly. “The sunlight on your skin, your breasts. Your hair like a river of gold against the grass. This”—his hand moved, a long finger still inside me—“hot and wet for me, like liquid silk.”

I found his belt and loosened it, undoing the button and sliding the zipper down. Kade helped me get rid of his pants and my mouth ran dry at the sight of him, fully naked in the warm sunshine.

The breeze rustled the trees, cooling my overheated skin. I went willingly into Kade’s arms, our mouths melding in mutual need.

He lay down on his back, pulling me astride him. “It’s only fair my skin take the brunt of this, princess,” he said. “My hide’s thicker than yours.”

He was hard and heavy in my hand, his eyes drifting closed at my touch, his brow creasing as though he struggled for control. I lifted myself up and sank down onto him, going slowly when I felt a twinge inside, letting my body relax to accommodate his length.

I memorized how Kade looked lying on the summer grass. His chest was carved muscle, the faint scars that marked his past nearly invisible in the sunshine. His eyes were so blue, they seemed to reflect the sky overhead, the look in them as he watched me something I knew I’d never forget.

Kade’s hands settled on my hips, keeping me steady and I rose and fell on him. Sweat broke out on his forehead as I rose until he was nearly outside my body, then slowly sank back down. A groan left his lips and I smiled.

“I take that back,” he said. “You’re not a princess but an evil witch, bent on torturing me.”

I repeated the move, my body molded to his size now so it wasn’t uncomfortable. His fingers dug into my hips so hard, I knew I’d have marks later, not that I cared.

“I wouldn’t want you to, you know”—I bent down to whisper in his ear—“forget.” I was teasing but the look on Kade’s face was serious when he replied.

“As if I could ever forget you.”

I sat back up, pushing him in deeper. My hands splayed across his chest as I moved faster on him.

“That’s right,” he encouraged. “Don’t stop, baby.” His grip tightened, his hips thrusting up hard into me.

Something close to a scream ripped from my throat as my body convulsed around his. Kade thrust again, and again, then he shouted his climax even as mine kept going, spurred on by the spasms of his cock inside me.

Afterward, I was boneless, falling forward to rest on his chest, my head tucked into his neck. Both our bodies were slick with sweat and I was glad of the breeze. Kade’s hand brushed my hair back from my face, his fingers trailing through the long strands to draw lazy patterns on my back.

“I told you I don’t mind certain messes,” Kade said.

I smiled. “So you did.”

We lay like that for a while, our bodies still joined, our hearts beating in unison. If I could have, I’d have taken the moment and pressed it between the pages of my mind, to keep it with me, this fresh and pure, always. I committed to memory the smell of the balmy breeze as it drifted across us, the feel of Kade’s body, warm and strong underneath mine, the sound of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

Finally, I rose, pressing a kiss to Kade’s lips before I got to my feet. I dragged my dress over my head while Kade pulled on his pants. I held my hair out of the way while he slid the zipper up the back of my dress. He kissed my neck, his arms crossing over my stomach as he held me.

“I need to get to work,” I said.

“Which reminds me, I have something for you.”

I turned around and he handed me a key.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“Your apartment is done. That’s a key to the new lock.”

My stomach seemed to drop. I hadn’t been prepared for this, though I should have been. Of course it was time to go home now. Time to remove myself from Blane’s and Kade’s lives. My hand fisted around the key, its edges biting into my palm.

“Thank you,” I said, avoiding his eyes and hurriedly blinking back the tears in mine.

“You okay?” Kade asked.

“Fine,” I said, grabbing my bra and shoes. I didn’t see my panties anywhere. “Just need to get going. Tell Mona thanks for the picnic.”

Kade grabbed me around the waist and kissed me until I was breathless. “I’ll come by later,” he murmured against my lips. “After I take care of James.”

“Don’t kill him,” I said. “Promise me.”

“I don’t like making promises,” he said.

“Promise me this,” I persisted, looking into his eyes.

Kade’s lips pressed in a thin line and he didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded. I smiled softly and gave him one last tight squeeze.

“Did you bring my car?” I asked.

“That piece of shit you drive now?”

“That piece of shit is cheap and gets me where I’m going,” I teased. We exchanged keys and Kade picked up the basket, walking me back to the car.

He opened the door for me, then pressed another kiss to my lips, as though now that he knew he could kiss me, he didn’t want to stop.

“The fact that you’re wearing nothing under that prim and proper dress is all kinds of hot,” he whispered in my ear.

A shiver went through me and I laughed, reluctantly pushing him away. “I’ll see you later, okay? Be careful.”

Kade watched me get in the car and drive away—and if tears poured down my face as I glanced in the rearview mirror, there was no one to see.

My apartment was as good as new—better, actually. New carpet, paint, and furniture. I assumed I had Kade to thank for the furniture.

I’d just gotten dressed in my work uniform when there was a knock at the door. I glanced through the peephole and recognized my landlord, Mike. About my height, he was stocky, but from too much beer rather than working out.

“Hi,” I said when I opened the door. “The place looks great. Thanks for taking care of it.”

“Yeah, well, fixing the damage from the accident wasn’t cheap,” he said, the belligerence in his tone taking me aback. He handed me an envelope.

“What’s this?” I said as I opened it.

“The bill.”

My jaw dropped. “But… this is for over three thousand dollars!”

“Like I said, the repairs weren’t cheap.”

“I don’t have this kind of money,” I protested.

He shrugged. “You’ve got two weeks to pay it or I sue you. Your choice.” He turned away and jogged down the stairs.

Shit.

No time to think about that right now, though. I hurried into the bathroom to smear makeup over the J still visible on my chest. The deep V-neck shirt didn’t cover it at all. Makeup at least made it less obvious.

I took a deep breath before going into The Drop. I really hoped no one besides Tish knew about what had happened with James, but I didn’t hold out a lot of hope for that.

Scott was working as well, and he did a double take when he saw me. I gave him a tentative smile as I stowed my purse under the bar.

“Hey,” he said, coming up next to me, “I heard about what happened, and I have to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you alone that night.” He was so upset, so sincere, I had to give him a hug.

“It’s okay,” I said. “It wasn’t your fault.”

His hug was tighter than I expected. “I never should have left you alone,” he said.

“Stop beating yourself up,” I said. “I’m fine.”

Scott pulled back, a wry smile on his lips. “I heard you kicked his ass. I had no idea you were such a badass.”

“I’m full of surprises,” I teased, glad that apparently Romeo hadn’t shown the video to anyone.

“Kathleen!”

I turned around in time to see Tish right before she flung her arms around me.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re okay!” she said, choking up.

She was practically strangling me, but I held on to her, thankful for my friends.

“I’m fine,” I assured her when she finally let go. Her eyes were wet with tears. “Don’t cry or you’ll ruin your makeup,” I admonished her with a smile.

Tish sniffed and smiled a little back. “I hope it was okay to give the DVD to that guy,” she said quietly so only I could hear. “Since he had your phone and you were staying with him, I figured you trusted him.”

With my life, I wanted to say but didn’t.

“Romeo was so upset,” she continued. “I’ve never seen him like that before. I thought he was going to start crying right in front of me.”

My eyes practically bugged out of my head. Romeo was an Italian throwback to 1985 who’d seen too many mafia movies. He thought gold necklaces were the ultimate badass accessory and always wore leather wristbands for the same reason. I didn’t think he’d ever been in a fight, though, and he always reminded me of a dog that was all bark and no bite.

“Seriously?” I squeaked.

“Oh yeah, and he turned fire-engine red when he told me about it. He practically begged me to talk to you so he wouldn’t have to.”

Huh. Romeo cared. Who knew? But that begged another question.

“Tish,” I said, “did anyone else watch the video?”

She shook her head. “Just Romeo. I, uh, wanted to… but didn’t.” She smiled ruefully. “Not to be morbidly curious or anything, but I was worried you wouldn’t go to the cops.”

“I’m not going to the cops,” I said.

“What? Please tell me you’re not serious.” She looked stunned.

“Did Romeo tell you who that guy was?” I asked, lowering my voice.

Tish shook her head.

“It was the district attorney.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I wish I was,” I replied. “Listen, we’re still going to use it, I just won’t be going to the cops.” I gave her a meaningful look and she seemed to catch on.

“So long as the bastard pays for what he did,” she said firmly.

“Does everybody know?” I asked.

“No, just Scott, me, and Jeff.”

I supposed that was something. I really didn’t want everyone looking at me with pity in their eyes.

Business was steady for the evening and I was glad because being busy kept my mind off of Blane and Kade. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Kade when he arrived, I just knew it was going to hurt. I worried about what was going on with James, and prayed Kade would be safe and not do anything stupid.

So I was relieved when I saw him walk in the door a few minutes before closing. He’d changed into jeans, boots, and a black button-down shirt that he wore untucked. I knew that meant he had a gun wedged in his jeans at the small of his back.

Kade sat down at the bar and I drank him in. The top few buttons of his shirt had been left undone, the black fabric not quite as dark as his hair. His jaw was shadowed because he hadn’t shaved since early this morning. His gaze caught mine and his lips curved into the smirk I knew so well.

I grabbed two beers and popped the lids, setting one in front of Kade.

“Well?” I asked, anxious to hear what had happened with James.

“He folded like the spineless piece of shit that he is,” Kade said, lifting his bottle to clink against mine.

I let out a pent-up breath, relieved beyond words that it was over, then took a healthy swallow of beer. “So Blane’s in the clear?”

Kade nodded. “Charges should be dropped by morning.”

I was glad that something good had come out of that horrible encounter with James. Reporting him to the cops would have resulted in a messy, public battle that I may not have won. Now, at least Blane had benefited from James’s stupidity.

Scott and I finished cleaning up and stocking the bar. Kade followed us out the door and Scott locked up. He gave me another hug before he left, despite Kade’s glare when he did so.

“You good?” Scott asked me, eyeing Kade suspiciously.

“Yep. See you later.”

Scott nodded and headed for his car. I was parked around back. Kade slotted our fingers together as we walked.

“I have a great idea,” Kade said when we got to my car. He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as he nuzzled my neck. “It might get messy, though.”

The dark seduction in his voice made a shiver run through me and I squeezed my eyes shut. I had to be strong, no matter how much I wanted to go back on the decision I’d made.

“We can’t,” I said.

“Sure we can,” Kade said, brushing his lips over my ear. “I have a maid.”

“That’s not what I mean,” I said, flattening my hands on his chest and giving him a push. “I mean us, you and me.”

He raised his head and our eyes locked. His brows were drawn in confusion.

“What are you talking about? Why not?”

“We can’t be together, Kade,” I said softly, my voice sad. “You know that.”

Kade’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. “I’ll keep working that other job, the business I started,” he said. “I’ll keep you safe. I swear it. You don’t have to do this.”

Each word was like a shaft of iron through my chest. A sob welled and tears stung my eyes, but I clung to my composure. I had to get through this.

I had to lie.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I just don’t feel the same way about you as you do for me.” I paused and said the hardest sentence I’d ever uttered in my life. “I don’t love you.”

Kade looked stricken and I immediately wished I could take back the words I’d just said, the words that had hurt him.

“But today,” he said. “You were happy. We were happy. We made love—”

“Sex, Kade,” I interrupted. “We had sex, that’s all.”

“You’re telling me it was just fucking for you?”

“You’re beautiful,” I said. “And you’ve saved me so many times—”

“So you were thanking me?”

“No, that’s not—”

“Fuck you.”

My throat closed at the cold fury on Kade’s face and I pressed my lips tightly together, biting the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t cry. I’d known he’d hate me for this, but I still wasn’t prepared for how much it tore me apart.

Kade moved closer and I instinctively stumbled back, the menace in his eyes making me afraid of him for the first time in a long time.

“So now you expect to go back to Blane?” he hissed.

“He’s going to be governor,” I forced out, “and his wife will be the First Lady of Indiana. Why wouldn’t I go back to him?”

“Oh, I don’t know—how about because you fucked his brother?” Kade spat. “Twice.”

“Blane loves me,” I said through lips gone numb. “He’ll do whatever it takes to get me back.”

My eyes were dry now. Forever leaving Kade with the idea that I was the type of person who’d do those things was an agonizing ache in my gut that made me want to double over.

Kade didn’t speak for a moment, his blue eyes studying me. Then he snorted in contempt. “You fucking bitch.”

And those were the last words Kade Dennon said to me before he got in his Mercedes and tore off down the empty street.