Out of Turn

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kade was lying sprawled on his back on the floor, a half-empty bottle of bourbon at his side. A completely empty one lay a few feet away.

Shocked, I hurried to him and dropped to my knees at his side.

“Kade! Are you all right?” I grabbed his shoulder and he abruptly sat up, his eyes squinting as though the light hurt them even though it wasn’t that bright.

“Princesss,” he slurred. “What’re you doin’ here? Thought you were ’sleep.”

Oh God. He was drunk. I’d never seen him drunk, though I’d definitely seen him drink many times. Kade didn’t strike me as the type to ever let down his guard enough to get drunk. I was surprised he’d done so tonight.

“Have you been out here drinking all this time?” I asked in dismay.

Kade’s brow scrunched, as if he were trying to remember. “Um, yeah. Think so.”

My gut twisted and I reached to take his arm. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s get you into bed.”

Kade flashed a wicked smirk. “Tha’s my line,” he said. “But okay.”

Getting him off the floor was a feat. He kept getting distracted. It was like trying to keep the attention of a two-year-old.

“Mmm, you smell good,” he said, burying his nose in my hair when I leaned over to try to haul him upward.

“Thanks,” I said, my good humor somewhat lacking. He was heavy. I tried pulling again, but he just sat there.

“Is that my shirt?” he asked. “My clothes look good on you, but I bet they’d look better off you.” He began pulling at my buttons. I slapped his hands away.

“Stop that,” I scolded. “Help me out here. Stand up.”

After some stops and starts, Kade was finally on his feet, though I had a few scary moments when I feared he might topple over and take me down with him.

“C’mon,” I said, heading to his bedroom. He leaned heavily on me.

“You’re too little to carry me,” he protested, trying to stand on his own. He immediately began listing to one side and I had to grab the front of his shirt to right him.

“Whoa there, buddy.” I slid my arm back around his waist and drew his arm over my shoulders. “We’re almost there, okay?”

“I forgot my bottle,” he said, turning back halfheartedly. I had to turn with him or risk falling down.

“You don’t need it. It’s okay,” I said, pulling him forward and shuffling him a few more steps closer to the bedroom.

“Course I need it,” he scoffed. “She coulda died, you know. And it’d been my fault.” Even with his slurring, I could understand he was talking about me. “I’m bad,” he continued. “Bad for everybody.”

“You’re not bad,” I insisted. “Just drunk.” A few more steps and we’d be at the doorway to his bedroom, thank goodness. My shoulders were starting to ache.

“No, I’m bad,” he said, narrowly avoiding taking out a table in the hallway. “She should be with Blane. He’s the good one.”

I wasn’t sure I agreed with that.

“Told him, told him—not sleeping with her. Stupid fuck. Ruined it. Told me to get the fuck out. Done with me.”

That made my ears perk up and distracted me from trying not to let Kade’s flailing arm knock over what I was sure was an expensive flower-filled vase.

“What do you mean ‘done with’ you?” I asked.

“All these years,” Kade mused, ignoring me. “Kept waiting for it, knew he’d be through eventu’ly. Still took me by surprise, though.” His tone had changed from cheerful drunk to morose.

Blane had thrown Kade out? Told him he was done with him? Because of his stupid, idiotic belief in his uncle’s lies? I gritted my teeth. As though this whole situation weren’t complicated enough, Blane had to take away the one thing he’d tried so hard to give Kade all these years—his unconditional acceptance. Asshole.

I managed to get to the bed and was relieved to plop Kade down on it. He looked at me as though just realizing again who I was.

“Hey, you’re here!” he said in wonderment, reaching out to clumsily pat my uninjured cheek until he saw the bruises on the other. “I want to kill him.”

His tone was menacing, much different than how he’d been speaking previously.

“What?” I asked warily.

“The fucker who did this to you,” he said, his eyes widening and blinking as he tried to focus. “I want to kill him.”

“I don’t want you to do that,” I said, crouching down to remove his shoes. “You beat him up—that’s enough.”

“You bet your ass I did,” Kade said. I had to hide a smile. He sounded like a kid who’d gotten a good grade on a report card and was proud of it. “Broke his fucking hand.”

Okay, that was news.

I pushed the thought aside—there was nothing I could do about it anyway, and I didn’t know if I would have if given the choice. It struck me then that I was more cavalier, and perhaps more bloodthirsty, than I used to be. Maybe I’d seen too many bad people doing too many bad things to turn the other cheek anymore. Punishment and justice seemed in short supply these days, and I found myself resolutely glad that Kade had meted out both, frontier style.

I stood up with a sigh, dragging Kade’s T-shirt over his head. His arms fell back to his sides, like he didn’t have the strength to lift them. He stared at me as I folded the shirt and set it aside.

“What?” I asked. “Did you need something?”

Kade grabbed my hand and tugged me between his spread knees, resting his head against my stomach. I took the opportunity to bury my fingers in his hair, always soft to the touch. His hands moved to settle on my hips.

“You okay?” I asked softly. “Tired, I bet.” I remembered his raw knuckles and untangled myself to go get a washcloth. I came back and reached for his hand, carefully dabbing away the dried blood.

“This is a dream, right?” Kade asked, staring at me again, completely oblivious to what I was doing.

I smiled a little. “I hope not,” I joked. “Surely you can do better.”

“Don’t call me Shirley,” he said automatically. I laughed at the joke, overused though it was.

He closed his eyes and tipped his head back slightly. “I love to hear you laugh,” he murmured. “Makes me think of springtime, and carnivals, and being happy.”

My smile faded. The things Kade said sometimes—they made my heart hurt.

“Aren’t you happy?” I asked.

His eyes opened, their piercing blue captivating me.

“I am when I’m with you.”

My heart seemed to skip a beat and the small smile I gave him was watery. “Me, too,” I whispered, my throat clogged with emotion.

“No, no, no, don’t cry,” he said, his dismay evident. He got to his feet before I could react, though he seemed slightly steadier now. Cupping my face in his hands, he pressed light kisses along my cheeks and around my eyes. “Don’t cry,” he softly repeated, the words brushing across my skin.

My arms were trapped between our bodies and I tentatively rested my hands on his bare chest. Kade pulled back slightly to look at me, but I couldn’t meet his eyes. My gaze dropped to his chest.

This close to him, I could see a thin white, jagged scar that was about four inches long, running in a slice down toward his abdomen. I traced it with my finger, wondering how he’d gotten it. If it, like the cigarette-burn scars on his back, was a bleak memento from a crueler time in his life.

Without warning he placed his hands around my waist to pick me up, then turned and laid me on the bed. Surprised, I tried to sit up but was trapped by him hovering over me. He was on all fours, his arms and legs a cage. Then he kissed me.

He tasted of bourbon and Kade, forbidden and sweet. I became lost in sensation, my mind replaying his declaration from earlier.

You won’t see me again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back with everything I had in me. Tears leaked from my eyes, trailing down my face to the pillow underneath my head.

Kade made a noise, the sound a low rumble in his throat. His hands began to fumble with the buttons on my shirt, but after a moment, he gave up and tore the fabric free. Buttons flew everywhere.

His mouth covered my breast with no preamble whatsoever, making me gasp even as he moaned. He licked and suckled my breasts as though starved and unable to get his fill. My nipples ached, sensitized to his slightest touch, while the flesh between my legs grew plump and moist.

I clutched his head to me, rubbing my thighs restlessly together to relieve some of the ache. Kade’s fingers latched into the thin elastic around my hips and he tugged my panties down, sitting up on his haunches to pull them off my legs.

I had a brief moment of clarity. Was I really going to do this? Kade was drunk, but I had no excuse.

It was one of those moments that seemed frozen in time even as a barrage of thoughts raced through my head. I knew in my bones that what I was contemplating was probably wrong—knew that I should stop Kade and just leave. Guilt would no doubt consume me in the cold light of day, adding to that which already dogged my every waking moment.

And I was suddenly tired of it all. Tired of feeling guilty for coming between Blane and Kade. Tired of seeing my hopes and dreams vaporizing into dust. Tired of losing people I loved. Tired of the heartache I endured each and every day and the regrets I had for trusting a man who couldn’t trust me in return. But mostly I was tired of doing what I was supposed to do, what I was expected to do, when I got nothing from it but pain and a broken heart.

And in the moment of time it took for Kade to strip off his jeans and settle back between my legs, I made my decision. I was going to be selfish and take this slice of happiness and not think about the consequences, just this once.

Kade lay between my spread thighs, his body covering mine. He kissed me again, cradling my jaw as though I were made of delicate porcelain. I felt him at the entrance to my body and I was more than ready. But he surprised me, sitting back while drawing me up onto his lap, all while still kissing me.

He pushed inside me in one strong thrust, settling me astride him. I tore my mouth from his, choking on a gasp. It had been a while and Kade wasn’t a small guy. His shirt was still hanging off my shoulders so I let go of him long enough to push it off and fling it away. Kade took the opportunity to wrap his arms underneath mine and pull my shoulders back. I whimpered as his mouth closed again over my nipple, his tongue doing things that made me dig my fingernails into his arms.

I couldn’t move. Everything overwhelmed me. The hard thickness of Kade inside me, his mouth tormenting me, his arms surrounding me. His hands moved to my hips, lifting me nearly off him before letting me slide back down. A sound I was sure I’d never made before escaped me.

I pried open my eyes, trying to focus on raising myself up. He was going to think I was completely inept at this if I just kept sitting there like I didn’t know what to do. My legs trembled but somehow I managed to lift up before coming down again. We both moaned at the sensation.

Kade took my mouth again, his hands easily helping to raise and lower me as we found a rhythm. My breasts were crushed against his chest, their sensitive tips creating a delicious friction as we moved.

It grew heated between us and our skin grew sweaty. My hair was plastered to my neck and I had to tear my mouth from Kade’s so I could breathe. He buried his face in my neck, licking the salt from my skin.

My orgasm crashed over me in a sharp explosion of pleasure. I cried out with the force of it, my body gripping Kade’s, contracting around him.

“Ah God,” he gasped, his voice choked. His hands dug into my hips, holding me still. “Not yet,” he breathed. “Don’t want it to end yet.”

After a moment, he seemed to regain control. In a quick motion, he turned me so I was facing the other direction. My thighs were pushed even farther apart in this new position, angling him deeper inside me.

His lips brushed my ear. “You’re perfect. Everything I’d imagined,” Kade whispered. His hands roamed over my body as I rested against him, one at my breast, the other skimming down my stomach to touch softly between my legs.

His hips moved steadily beneath mine while his hand gently stroked me, and all the while he whispered things in my ear, things that made me blush, but I didn’t want him to stop. He whispered about how beautiful I was, how my body was flushed and hot, how I tasted and how he wanted to put his mouth between my legs, how he’d dreamt of us like this, how much he loved me.

My eyes flew open.

“God, I love you. Waited for so long…” Kade swept my hair to the side and pressed openmouthed kisses to my neck. His hips moved faster, as did his hand, and I couldn’t think anymore, my body coiling inside with tension. He thrust harder and I twisted so I could kiss him. Our tongues tangled as he jerked into me, his whole body seeming to convulse. Kade losing all control was a heady thing. I could smell his own distinctive scent mingled with mine, the combination tinged with our sweat. My fingers dug into his hair, holding him so our mouths stayed as connected as our bodies. The feel of him pulsing inside me sent me over the edge again.

I would have collapsed if he wasn’t holding me up. My hair lay half covering my face and I was too weak to even lift a hand to push it out of the way. I sucked down air, my heart still thundering in my ears.

Kade was brushing kisses along my neck and shoulder, our bodies still connected. I leaned my head back on his shoulder and raised my arms to comb through his hair, now damp and clinging to his own wet skin. His hands cupped my breasts, gently rolling the sensitive tips in his fingers. I felt an answering quiver deep inside.

His finger dipped down to touch where we were joined, smearing some of the fluid there on my clit. I jerked in his arms, overly sensitive.

“No,” I breathed. “I can’t again.”

“Yes, you can,” he said, his voice dark as sin. “I want to feel your body reach that ecstasy again, watch your face when you come, and know I’m the one doing it to you.”

His touch was expert, knowing, and just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle any more, he would change it—harder, softer, faster—until I was panting in his arms. Impossibly, he grew hard again inside me. Sooner than I would have believed possible, I was coming again, more intensely than before.

Kade’s moan was one of both pleasure and pain, then he was rearranging us, laying me on my back and moving my legs up until they rested, one on each of his shoulders. He entered me again, his hips driving hard as he leaned his weight on his hands, pushing my legs closer to my chest.

It was hard and fast, my positioning erotic and making me feel very exposed. He was deep inside me and his eyes were glued to mine, the look in them branding his possession and adoration. I couldn’t blink, couldn’t look away. The bond between us felt as though it were being forged in heat and sweat and flesh.

Only when his orgasm took him did he close his eyes, cries and gasps falling from his mouth in a moment of utter vulnerability. I watched, awestruck by how beautiful he was.

He collapsed next to me on the bed, sucking large gasps of air into his lungs. I couldn’t help a smile. So I’d finally found out what made Kade Dennon out of breath.

His eyes cracked open just a fraction and he pulled me closer to him, his arm heavy on my waist. Slanting his lips across mine, he gave me another deep kiss before resting his head on the pillow of my breasts, his eyes falling shut again.

“Love you,” he murmured, and I knew he was already half asleep.

I reached down and pulled the sheet up over us, though Kade was already out, and cradled him to me, my fingers running through his sweat-dampened hair. I felt content and safe, and I had no trouble finding my own way into slumber.

When next I woke, it was late morning. Kade was still out cold. I figured it would be a while before the booze he’d drunk would wear off. Getting out of bed, I grabbed Kade’s torn and discarded shirt off the floor and went to shower.

I stood under the streaming hot water for a long time, thinking. Hearing Kade tell me he loved me was shocking, overwhelming… exhilarating. I’d known we were friends, known for a while that he wanted to sleep with me, but I never would have known or guessed that he loved me… or that he’d ever tell me so.

But did I love him?

I didn’t think I had an answer for that question. I cared about him. A lot. I didn’t want to lose him. Making love with him had been… incredible. My body still tingled and I blushed at some of the things we’d done.

But… Blane.

It always seemed to come back to him. The guilt, the pain, the heartache, the betrayal. He was still controlling my life even though he’d pushed me from his. What did I have to offer Kade except being the wedge that would constantly drive him and Blane apart? And I couldn’t even tell Kade that I was no longer in love with Blane. I wouldn’t lie to him.

Kade certainly deserved more than his brother’s leftovers.

That cynical thought made me go still, the water streaming from my hair, over my shoulders and down my back.

The guilt I’d known I’d feel had returned and now threatened to swallow me whole. It hit me, really hit me, what we’d done.

What I’d done.

On autopilot, I got out of the shower and dried myself off. I couldn’t change the past, couldn’t change what had happened between Kade and me. And if I was really honest, I didn’t know that I wanted to. I could live with the guilt, but I didn’t know if I could have lived with turning away from the one chance I had to make love with Kade.

Nothing could come of it, I knew that. But one time with Kade, hearing him tell me how he felt about me—I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And when he left and I never saw him again, I’d have it to remember. I wouldn’t fight him leaving. It would be selfish of me to do that. The only way Blane and Kade were going to regain their trust in each other was if I wasn’t in either of their lives.

I pulled on a pair of the shorts I’d bought and found another shirt of Kade’s to wear. He was still dead to the world, so I ordered coffee and breakfast from room service.

I sipped my coffee and stared out the window at the Vegas Strip, which looked much different in the harsh light of the Nevada summer sun. What was I going to say to Kade when he woke? What would he say to me?

I heard the shower start in his bathroom and chewed a nail as I waited. I was as nervous as I’d been when I’d first met Kade, when his fallen angel good looks and the aura of danger emanating from him had overwhelmed me.

Kade emerged from the bedroom clad in jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, with bare feet. He walked toward me while toweling his hair dry. I couldn’t help my soft smile or the stutter of my heart when I saw him, memories of how he’d been last night flashing through my mind.

“Good morning,” I said cheerily, glad to see him despite my nerves.

Kade winced, glancing up at the windows and squinting. He didn’t answer, just grabbed his sunglasses off the dining table and put them on. Shuffling toward me, he sat down heavily on the couch.

“What time is it?” he asked.

I glanced at the clock. “Pushing noon.”

“Christ,” he muttered, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees while he rubbed his eyes under the sunglasses.

I shifted nervously in my chair. Was I supposed to say something? What were the rules for the morning after? Were we not supposed to talk about it?

“My head feels like it’s going to fall off my neck,” he grumbled.

“Well, that’s what happens when you drink too much,” I replied mildly.

Kade heaved a sigh and leaned back against the couch. I tried, and failed, not to stare at his chest.

“Sorry about last night,” Kade said. “I, uh, usually don’t drink that much.”

I frowned. Was he apologizing for being drunk—or for what had followed? “It’s fine,” I finally said.

“I didn’t act like an asshole, did I?”

I stared at Kade, an inkling of horror dawning. When I didn’t answer, he lifted his head to look at me.

“Did I?”

I swallowed. Hard. “You… don’t remember?”

He shook his head. “I remember us arguing, then I started drinking. That’s pretty much the extent of the replay.”

Stunned, I just gaped at him, the familiar ache in the center of my chest returning with a vengeance. My stomach gave a hard roil and I thought I might throw up.

“What?” he asked, the expression on my face seeming to clue him in on my dismay. “I said something, didn’t I.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes again. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m a bastard, you know that. I didn’t mean it, whatever it was.”

I shut my mouth with a snap. I should be glad about this. Kade had just punched the reset button. Last night never happened. I was the only one who knew we’d made love, knew Kade had told me he loved me, and I didn’t have to tell a soul.

The thought made me want to cry.

“Um, no,” I said, pulling myself out of my stupor. “It’s fine. No worries.” I forced a fake smile. “You were drunk. People do and say all kinds of things when they’re three sheets to the wind.”

The ringing of Kade’s cell phone interrupted our conversation and I gladly got up to get more coffee. Anything to get a moment to compose myself, to realign my expectations and emotions with a reality I hadn’t expected.

I was lost in my own thoughts until I realized that Kade had turned on the television and stood watching it while still on his cell.

“I’m watching,” he said to the person on the other end.

Puzzled, I moved to his side so I could see the screen, too, then about spit my coffee.

A photo of Kandi Miller, Blane’s ex-girlfriend and a member of a wealthy, politically connected family, was displayed on the screen. She was beautiful, with long blonde hair and a tall, willowy figure. As I watched, I processed the voice-over by the news anchor.

“… found murdered in her home in Indianapolis. Police have not yet made an arrest, but sources inside the department say they’re not ruling out anyone, including Indiana gubernatorial candidate Blane Kirk. Mr. Kirk and Miss Miller had a prior relationship and were no longer dating. However, anonymous reports say the two had recently rekindled their romance.”

Video footage of Blane showed him walking from his house to his car. Over a dozen reporters mobbed him, shouting questions as he pushed through. Blane’s eyes were hidden behind sunglasses and his face was expressionless. He didn’t respond to any questions, just got in his car and drove away.

My knees gave out and I sat heavily on the couch, staring at the screen. Kandi was dead? Murdered? And it seemed the police suspected Blane.

Kade muted the TV and spoke into his cell. “Yeah, I saw.” A pause. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He ended the call.

“Was that Blane?” I asked hopefully.

Kade shook his head. “Clarice. He doesn’t know she called.”

“Why wouldn’t Blane call you himself?” I knew they were currently on the outs, but surely something like this overrode the petty disagreement about me.

Kade’s jaw tightened. “Because he’s still being a fucking moron,” he said bitterly. “Pack up. We’re leaving.”

I hurried to obey, my mind spinning with the news. It was killing me not to call Clarice, but I didn’t want to take the time, not when it was obviously imperative that Kade get back to Indy as soon as possible.

I pancaked on some makeup as quickly as I could to cover the bruises, glad to see that my eye was no longer swollen. I then threw my stuff into the suitcase and was hauling it out into the hallway not ten minutes later. Kade was already waiting, his shirt now buttoned though sunglasses still hid his eyes. He was staring at something in his hand, but it was little and I couldn’t see what it was.

“I’m ready,” I said.

He looked up and his gaze fixed on me for a moment. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, nervous under his scrutiny.

“What?” I finally said, somewhat testily.

Kade shook his head, putting whatever was in his hand into the pocket of his jeans. “Nothing. Let’s go.”

The flight back to Indianapolis seemed interminable. The same “friend” of Kade’s who’d allowed him to use his private jet for the flight out was also letting us use it to go back. We’d boarded the plane and then I’d had nothing to do for hours except sit and dwell on what had happened, imagining every possible scenario.

The anchor’s words kept replaying in my head. Sources said Blane and Kandi were back together? That surprised me. After we’d found out that Kandi’s hatred for me had indirectly caused her to give a hit man all the information he needed to know to kill me, I’d assumed that Blane had cut all ties with her.

But now I reflected that that had been a naive notion. Blane and Kandi had grown up together, been chosen by their parents to make an advantageous political match. They’d broken up several times, but always seemed to get back together. Maybe after our breakup, Blane had reverted to the original plan that had included Kandi.

I finally ginned up the courage to ask Kade. “So were Blane and Kandi back together?”

Kade grimaced. “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t find it that hard to believe if they were.”

That shut me up. Kade knew Blane better than anyone. If he thought Blane would go back to her…

It was nearly 8:00 P.M. in Indy, but the heat and humidity outside the terminal made my shirt instantly stick to my skin as Kade put our luggage in his car. I missed the pool in Vegas with a vengeance.

Kade had been driving for a few minutes when I realized he wasn’t heading to my apartment.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Blane’s.”

Instant panic. “No way,” I protested. “Take me home.” He’d take one look at Kade and me together, another look at the bruises on my face, and then all hell would break loose.

“He needs you. I’m taking you there.”

“Are you kidding me?” I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Kade was offering me up to Blane? “The last thing he needs is more drama, which is exactly what will happen if I go there. Especially if I’m with you.”

“He knew we were together. This isn’t a surprise.”

Of course, neither of them knew how “together” Kade and I had been. I rubbed my forehead, a sudden headache coming on. Short of jumping out of a moving car, which I wasn’t too crazy about doing, there was little I could do. I sat in the passenger seat, fuming at Kade and worried about Blane.

A few minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of Blane’s house. The reporters had left and the house was dark.

“Is he home?” I wondered aloud as I got out of the car.

“Let’s find out.”

I had no choice but to follow Kade inside. My nerves were shot. I swung my hair farther over my face and hoped I could stick to the shadows. Though Kade seemed sure that Blane would want me there, I wasn’t convinced.

Mona was in the kitchen when we entered through the back door. She took one look at Kade and threw her arms around him.

“Thank God you’re back,” she said, her voice thick with tears.

Kade hugged her for a moment, then she caught sight of me. The tears came even faster now as she wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me so tight I could barely breathe.

“Kathleen!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe it. Thank you for coming. He needs you.”

“How is he?” Kade asked.

Mona released me and I took a deep breath, my own eyes stinging at the warmth of Mona’s heartfelt embrace.

Mona gave a frustrated shrug. “Who knows? He won’t talk to me. Always keeps things to himself. He went to work today, but he wouldn’t eat dinner. He’s been in the library all evening.”

“Has Robert been here?”

I stiffened. Robert. Blane’s uncle. But Mona shook her head.

“I don’t think Blane wants to draw him into this.” Her eyes filled again. “What’s going to happen, Kade?”

Kade gave her another one-armed hug and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

She nodded, dabbing a tissue to her eyes.

“I could use some coffee,” Kade said.

Mona immediately moved to the coffeepot. “Good idea,” she said. “I’ll make some.”

I had the feeling Kade could care less about the coffee, but it gave Mona something to do, and it was perceptive of him to realize she needed that.

Something brushed against my legs and I reached down to give Tigger a scratch behind the ears. Poor guy. His mom had just up and left him, though it didn’t look like he’d had it too rough. Scrutinizing him, it looked like he’d put on a pound or two.

We ran into Gerard in the hallway. He gave Kade a solid handshake.

“Good of you to come,” he said roughly. When he saw me, he seemed surprised but gave me a hug. “I’m glad Blane didn’t make you hate him forever, sweetheart. We’ve missed you, Mona and me.” He drew back. “Blane, too,” he added with a meaningful look.

“I’ve missed you and Mona, too,” I said. I didn’t know what to say about the Blane part.

“He’s in the library,” Gerard told Kade with a sigh.

“Thanks, Gerard,” Kade said.

As we drew closer to the door, my anxiety ratcheted up. If nothing else, I was sure Blane was upset about Kandi’s death. I had sincere doubts he wanted another ex-girlfriend to share in his misery.

Kade seemed to sense my encroaching panic, taking my hand firmly in his. He rapped once on the door, then pushed it open.

The room was relatively dark. A single lamp gave off a weak glow that didn’t quite reach the far corners of the room. Blane was sitting in one of the matching leather chairs by the fireplace.

I hid slightly behind Kade, embarrassed to be intruding. It felt like Blane and I were strangers now. I shouldn’t be there.

Blane glanced up as Kade stepped inside the room. He stiffened and immediately got to his feet.

“I didn’t realize you were back,” Blane said as Kade walked closer. I remained lingering in the shadows of the doorway.

“News travels fast.” Kade stopped in front of Blane. “How are you doing?”

Blane took a drink of the amber liquid from the glass he held before answering. “Better than Kandi.”

“What happened?”

“They found her, early this morning. Strangled.”

I sucked in a breath at the image he painted, the pain in Blane’s voice evident. I’d hated Kandi, but no one deserved that.

“Jesus,” Kade breathed, turning to pace a few steps away. He shoved a hand through his hair. Then he seemed to recollect something and glanced around. Spotting me in the doorway, he crooked his finger, beckoning me. “I thought you might need somebody to talk to,” he said to Blane, watching me reluctantly walk forward.

Blane turned around as I stepped into the light, the hand holding his glass freezing in place halfway to his mouth.

I managed to make it all the way over to him, each step feeling as though I was wading through quicksand. The pull of Blane like a black hole, drawing me in. After what felt like an eternity, I stopped directly in front of him.

“Blane,” I said, “I’m really, really sorry about Kandi. I know she meant a lot to you.” Once the words were out of my mouth, I was glad I’d said them. Regardless of our tumultuous history, I wasn’t the kind of person to turn my back when someone I loved was in need. If Blane needed me, I’d be there for him.

The expression on Blane’s face was one of utter surprise. Perhaps he didn’t expect that I’d meant it, or that I even wanted to be there. But where I came from, you put aside the hurts and history when tragedy struck.

Without even looking at him, Blane handed his glass to Kade, who took it without question, then Blane was folding me into his arms.

He pulled me so close and so tight, I felt my trepidation ease away like sloughing off an old, heavy coat.

I heard the door behind me close softly, and knew that Kade had left us alone.