Peril

SARA

She’d decided on “Someone to Watch Over Me” as her final number, accompanying herself on Lucille’s piano as she rehearsed it by fingering the melody line, then sounding the appropriate chord. She couldn’t get the easy flow of Abe’s accompaniment that way, but she could at least make sure her voice hit the notes. The fact that it had hit them, each and every one of them, gave her a measure of confidence that she could pull it off. After all, she didn’t have to do that much, she told herself, just stand in front of a few people, pretend she was an amateur, see what happened.

She considered running through the songs again but decided not to. What if she didn’t do them as well this time, maybe missed a few notes. That would bring her down, make her less confident than she was at the moment. Besides, a singer could overrehearse. She’d learned that from the old singers she’d known the first time she’d come to New York. You could overrehearse and lose your energy, the fresh face of your act, get every detail of the routine so thoroughly nailed down that it left no room for you to let go, soar, spontaneously take the song to some new, surprising place.

She glanced at the clock. It was three-thirty. Normally, she’d have had to start dinner now, along with finishing up whatever small chores she’d started during the day.

She recalled how she’d made work for herself in the past, creating little jobs to fill her hours. Other wives used alcohol or the occasional affair, but she’d relied on a host of small projects to keep busy. She’d wash the Explorer or clean the pool or hose down the area around it. Tony would have been willing to hire someone to do such things, or even do them himself, but she’d never brought them up. She needed such petty tasks to keep her sane. They were what she did instead of drink or meet a guy at the local motel. For the rest, she’d relied on Della, the talks they’d had as they strolled the neighborhood streets or sat in Della’s kitchen, sipping coffee in the afternoon. It was the only thing she missed, a friend she could talk to.

She picked up the phone and dialed the number.