Chapter Three

Rob stood in the doorway. He hated himself for thinking it was almost worse seeing Laura conscious. The purple bruises and swollen cheekbones looked out of place on someone sitting up and awake.

At least when she was unconscious, he knew she couldn’t feel the horrible beating she’d suffered. The bandage on her forehead had been removed, exposing the twelve stitches closing the ugly gash. Her upper lip still looked puffy and had been split open. The bruises around her neck were starting to fade from deep purple to an ugly brown that looked even worse.

She used to take pride in bruises he left on her ass from a play session.

But this…

He successfully fought back the rising bile in his stomach. “Hi, honey. Laura.”

She looked at Nurse Russell, who still sat by her bed. The nurse smiled and nodded to her, apparently trying to reassure her he was safe.

Laura stared at him. He wanted to hold her in his arms and stroke her long auburn hair, comfort her, tell her how much he loved her. The walk across the room felt like the longest of his life. Laura’s blue-grey gaze nervously followed him the entire way until he stopped at the foot of her bed. She still hadn’t said anything.

He swallowed hard and tried to maintain his composure. “The doctors told me you’re having trouble with your memory because of the—because of what happened. Do you recognize me?”

* * *

Laura was getting pretty good at shaking and nodding her head without causing too much agony, as long as she did it slowly and deliberately. Quick, sudden movements caused her the most pain.

The man looked familiar, but there was no name to go with the face in her mind’s black void. Rugged, but kind. Light brown hair, soft brown eyes. Kind eyes.

Familiar eyes.

He wasn’t built like a brick outhouse, but he looked like he could easily scoop her into his arms and sweep her away. He wore a casual uniform, a navy T-shirt tucked into black slacks with cargo pockets.

Fireman?

No. Paramedic. That’s what the detective had said.

Safety and warmth were the first feelings to come to mind. Kindness, sincerity, tenderness.

Peace.

Love.

Trust.

Her hand went to her throat again, fingers fluttering helplessly, searching for something not there.

She sensed some sort of a connection with him but he was still a stranger. Det. Thomas had said his name was Rob.

It felt right, but she had no memories attached to it, just those random emotions.

Her memory consisted of a huge abyss where unconnected thoughts and feelings swirled just out of touch like some sort of maniacal carnival ride. There were things in her mind she knew how to do—she could read, and she knew what some of the equipment in her hospital room was used for.

Images floated past her conscious, but weren’t tangible enough for her to grasp and slide home into their proper place.

She felt she had a past with this man, sensed he was an important part of her life. Yet while some of the feelings were there, the knowledge was not.

Overlaying all of this, fear.

Fear of whoever did this to her, fear that they might come back…

Fear she might never recover who she was and what that would mean for her future.

* * *

Rob wanted to kiss her, comfort her. He felt around in his pocket and pulled out her engagement ring, a diamond solitaire he’d saved six months to buy. They already had the wedding bands picked out, hers a ring with diamonds and rubies that slipped around her solitaire and highlighted it.

In another pocket he carried her leather play collar, the one she normally wore when they were alone. He knew he couldn’t just whip it out and show her now, but he’d carried it with him, a talisman.

A comfort.

A prayer, even though he wasn’t religious, that she would come back to him so they could forge the life together that they’d envisioned.

Still missing, and likely taken by her attacker, the silver necklace with the heart-shaped charm on it, her day collar, although he hadn’t called it such when reporting it to the investigators.

She always wore it, even in the shower, unless she had her play collar on. Only when out diving did she take it off.

He moved closer and held the ring out to her. She followed his hand with her eyes, but made no move to take the ring.

“They gave it to me in the ER,” he eventually said. “You never take it off. The only time you did, you were going to wash Doogie and you couldn’t remember where you put it. You called me in a panic and we looked for an hour before we finally found it. You swore you’d never take it off again.”

At the mention of her black Lab, she reacted a little. “Doogie?”

“He’s your puppy.” He stopped. “Well, that’s not exactly correct. He’s five months old, and he’s as big as a moose. You still call him your puppy.”

Her brow furrowed. “They didn’t tell me about a dog. Where is he? Is he okay? Was he hurt?”

“He’s okay. He wasn’t there. I picked him up from the vet yesterday. You’d dropped him off to be neutered Friday morning. We were supposed to pick him up Saturday morning.” Rob still held the ring out to her.

She reached for it, drawing back quickly once she had it. Turning the ring over in her hands, she finally slipped it on her left ring finger and stared at it.

“Does it bring anything back?” he asked hopefully.

Laura didn’t take her eyes off it. “I don’t know. I have snippets, like pieces of sentences, little pictures that are gone before I can put a name or place to them. How long have we been together?”

He struggled to keep his voice steady. She didn’t even sound like the same woman. Her voice sounded different, and not just from being strangled. The whole cadence of her speech had changed.

“We’ve known each other a little over two years, dated most of that. I proposed to you last Thanksgiving.”

Another nurse came in with a wheelchair. “They’re ready for her in radiology.”

Nurse Russell stood. “Okay.” She turned to Rob. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to leave now. Neurology wants to evaluate her. We’ll probably be moving her, depending on the MRI results, to a private room later today.”

Rob tried to get Laura to meet his gaze and she couldn’t—or wouldn’t. “Can I come back later, Laura?”

She finally looked up, as if getting used to her own name. “Oh, yes. I guess so. If they say it’s okay.”

He paused, wanted to say something else, then turned to go before he started crying in front of her.

“Thank you, Rob,” Laura said as he reached the door.

He turned and smiled before leaving. He found Thomas and Dr. Singh waiting for him in the hall.

“Well?” Thomas asked. “Anything?”

He walked over to the nurses’ station and once again held on for support. It felt like his soul had been ripped from his body. “She doesn’t know me at all. It’s like she’s never seen me before in her life.”

Rob couldn’t bear looking at Thomas’ expression of pity. He turned to Dr. Singh. “When can I come back to see her?”

“Wait until this afternoon,” Dr. Singh told him. “Let her have a chance to absorb everything. She’s overwhelmed right now, and the neurologist needs to evaluate her.”

“Will she get her memory back? Is this temporary?”

“We don’t know. I’m sorry, but I don’t have a better answer for you right now.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Bring photo albums, pictures, mementos she might have a strong attachment to. They might trigger something.”

Rob’s hand drifted down to touch the play collar through his slacks. He slowly nodded before turning to Thomas again. “They finished with her place?” He’d been allowed to walk through Laura’s condo with Thomas only once, the next day, to help them verify if anything else had been taken besides Laura’s necklace.

Thomas nodded. “They’re finished with it.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Rob. About this morning. I just needed to talk to her first.”

He looked at the detective. “You’re not a fraction as sorry as that fucker will be if I find him before you do.”

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