Pinch Me

Chapter Six

The next morning, Laura woke shortly after six, before rounds started, and managed to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom without assistance. Idle thoughts played through her mind. One of them, she wondered if she was normally a morning person or a night owl.

Once dressed in clothes Rob had brought for her the day before, she stood staring out her window at the parking lot. Apparently her room faced north. It looked like the sun was coming up to her right, and this side of the building remained cast in shadows.

When she closed her eyes, a mental image of early mornings spent on a boat, on open water, came to mind. Trying to catch the slippery tail end of those memories is what occupied her thoughts when she heard a knock on her door.

She turned as the deputy assigned to morning guard duty stuck her head in. “The hospital chaplain is here and wanted to know if you’d like him to come in.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you want me to come in with him?”

Laura shook her head. “No. I think I’ll be all right, but thank you.” It hadn’t taken Laura long to process that uniformed deputies were safe. And to look for name tags on anyone wearing medical uniforms or scrubs. As long as a man fit in those two categories, she forced herself to stay calm.

And Rob. And, after last night, Tony.

Chaplain Ben Pelletier was an older man, with a kind and gentle face mirrored on the official hospital ID he wore clipped to his shirt pocket. Laura felt at ease right away as he sat in a chair next to her bed.

“I know it’s early, but they said you were awake so I figured I’d stop by. Nancy Russell suggested maybe I should come talk to you. See if you wanted a friendly ear.”

“I have to be honest with you, Father. I don’t know what religion I was, if any.”

He laughed. “I’m not a priest. You can call me Ben, or Pastor Ben, if it makes you feel better. I think my wife wouldn’t like it if I was a priest.”

He got her laughing, which hurt her ribs but felt good to her soul. He stayed, talking with her all during morning rounds and breakfast, chatting, exuding gentle patience while she quizzed him about local places and events, hoping anything would jog her memory.

Eventually, he turned serious. “I’m also a counselor, if you feel you need to talk to someone. It’s not uncommon for people who’ve been through serious trauma to develop post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes it doesn’t show up right away. In your case, you’ve got other things to focus on right now. It could catch you by surprise.”

“All I care about is getting my memory back.” She thought about Rob, about Carol, about the pictures they’d both shown her.

About Tony and Shayla.

She sensed Rob held something back, but didn’t know what. That feeling conflicted with the innate sense of trust she had when she thought about him.

“And what if it doesn’t come back?” he asked. “That’s a possibility, and one you should consider. In that case, you really should talk to someone about it.”

She frowned. “I will get my memory back. Most of it, at least. I know I will.” Although she didn’t know, not for sure.

Yet a stubborn tenacity rolled through her. Not getting her life back wasn’t an acceptable option to her.

“If nothing else, you might want to go for Rob’s sake.” Her surprise must have shown, because he smiled. “I know him from here at the hospital. He’s a good man. Very devoted to you. If you have any doubts about him—”

“I don’t.” Now that she said it, she realized she felt it. Truly felt it.

Still, little niggling things. Not about her love and trust for Rob, but…something.

Nothing that she felt like verbalizing to the chaplain, at least.

Shortly after breakfast, Rob walked in the door. “Hi,” the pastor said. “I’ll get out of your hair. We were just having a chat.” He reached out and gently squeezed Laura’s hand. “Would you like me to come back tomorrow?”

She nodded. “That’s fine.” He was nice to talk to, and unlike the medical staff, he apparently had the freedom to sit and relax with her. She didn’t feel like he was rushed, or like she was holding him up from other duties.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” He shook hands with Rob as he left.

Rob turned to her. The hesitantly hopeful look on his face made her extend her arms to him from where she sat on the edge of the bed.

Stepping into her embrace, she felt him relax a little. “Are you okay?” she asked.

He let out a barking laugh before looking down at her. “Sweetheart, you’re the one in here. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

He gently cupped her chin in his palms. “Please don’t ever apologize to me for this. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I feel like I’m putting you through hell.”

“I’d go through it a thousand times to have you with me. Besides, it’s not your fault.”

There was another knock on the door. The deputy opened it. “Shayla Daniels is here to see you.”

Laura felt an emotional surge roll through her. She jumped up off the bed, ignoring painful protests from all the still-sore spots in her body. “Yes!”

Rob watched as Laura rushed over to Shayla and engulfed her in a hug.

I wish she was that happy to see me.

He immediately hated himself for the thought.

I think I need to spend some time talking with Tony. He didn’t want Laura to get even a hint of some of the thoughts that had crossed his mind. He was smart enough to know they were from his own insecurities, not because of her.

Shayla carried a small plastic storage tub in her hands and walked over to set it on the tray table. She popped the lid off, revealing it was full of dark-chocolate-covered peanut butter candies. “Buckeyes,” she said. “Go ahead.”

He didn’t miss how Laura glanced at him first, almost as if seeking his approval. He smiled and nodded. She reached in and picked one, then took a tentative bite.

Her face lit up. “Oh. My. God. This is great!” She shoved the rest into her mouth and reached for two more.

Shayla smiled, her eyes looking a little too bright. “You always loved them. Love them,” she corrected herself.

Laura stopped chewing, her gaze dropping to the floor. “No, it’s okay,” she softly said. “I guess I did kind of die, in a way.”

“No, you didn’t,” Rob firmly said.

“Didn’t I?” She finally raised her gaze to look at Shayla before it landed on him. “I feel like I did. I feel like I was just born, in a lot of ways. I don’t even know what my favorite color is—”

“Blue,” Rob and Shayla said.

She stared at the remains of the candy in her hand as if seeing it for the first time before she put the rest into her mouth and chewed. “That, and the fact that I love eggplant parmesan and Buckeyes won’t help the police figure out who did this,” she softly said. She popped another one into her mouth.

Rob ached for her. It warred on every level of his soul with the hatred he felt for whoever had done this to her.

To both of them.

Rob and Shayla spent the rest of the morning with Laura, talking, going through pictures, sometimes more than once. He even went down to the cafeteria to get lunch for him and Shayla and brought it back to the room. Around three, he had to leave to walk Doogie. Shayla volunteered to stay with Laura.

They both looked at her, as if wanting to know if it was okay. She’d had her head buried in one of the older photo albums again, slowly staring at each picture, trying to coax the stubborn memories to step forward.

She finally realized they were waiting on her. “Oh. Sure. That’s okay.”

She hated how sad Rob looked. He telegraphed his emotions through his body language, through the expression on his face. She hated even more that she knew it was because of her, of what had happened to her. At least she felt more at ease around him today. The more time she spent with him, the more she knew yes, she had loved him, and he loved her.

She just couldn’t fricking remember it.

Setting the album aside, she reached for him, letting out a soft sigh when he stepped into her embrace while she sat on the edge of the hospital bed. She closed her eyes and once again pressed her face against his shirt. Today, he’d dressed in jeans and a blue, collared, short-sleeved shirt, not his paramedic uniform.

“Shayla has my number if you need me.”

Laura nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

She’d even put the ring back on, more to keep it from disappearing than anything, but she still didn’t have any tangible memories to rely on.

He kissed the top of her head and moved to step back, but she held on and looked up. After a moment he leaned in and kissed her forehead, lingering a few seconds before straightening again.

She released him.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he said. “Do you want me to bring you dinner?”

“Please!”

That won her another smile. “I’ll keep it easy and get us a pizza. Shayla, will you be staying?”

“If it’s okay?”

He gave her a brief, friendly hug. Laura could see it was far more platonic than the hugs he’d given her so far, no wistful lingering to his motions. “Of course it’s okay,” he told her. “If it’s okay with Laura.”

She nodded.

When Rob left, Laura felt more than a little pang to see him go, but she was looking forward to the alone time with Shayla.

“You won’t get in trouble for taking the day off, will you?”

“Oh, no. I have vacation time built up. When…” She faltered and looked like she nearly burst into tears before forcing a smile. “When Rob called us, I immediately put work on notice that I might need to take time off. They’re okay with it.”

“That’s nice of them.” She popped another candy into her mouth. “These are sooo good.”

Shayla sat in a chair next to the bed. “The past couple of years, we’ve made them together at the holidays. Us and Leah, Loren, Tilly, and Clarisse. We get together at Leah and Seth’s. They’ve got a big kitchen. We do a massive bake-a-thon for all our holiday stuff on one Saturday or Sunday. We each have our own favorite recipe, in addition to other stuff we make.”

“What do I make?”

Her eyes widened. “Oh. My. God. I should have made those last night!” She clapped a hand to her mouth and looked like she was a breath away from crying again. “I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry!”

She really didn’t want Shayla to start crying. If she did, Laura knew she would be right behind her. “It’s okay. These are great.”

“You always make shortbread cookies. You have a recipe that was your mom’s. You said you used to help her make them every Christmas when you were a little girl.”

Laura felt the hitch in her breath. “I can’t even remember my parents. Rob said he can’t get in touch with my brother.”

Shayla nodded. “He’s a bush pilot in Montana. It’s not uncommon for him to be out of touch for a week or two at a time if he’s out in the back country.”

“Am I close to him?”

Shayla shrugged. “Pretty close, I guess. You’ve talked about him before, give us updates when you hear from him. He’s older than you by a couple of years. You’ve never said you guys were on bad terms. You and Rob talked about going out to visit him later this summer, to visit Yellowstone.”

“Yellowstone? That’s…” She closed her eyes and concentrated. “That’s a big park, right?”

“Very. He lives near there.”

Hazy images swam into her mind, along with the memory of the smell of…

“Sulfur?” She opened her eyes and looked at Shayla.

Shayla wore a puzzled expression. “What?”

“Sulfur. The smell of sulfur. Or…something.”

“Oh. Yeah, you said you can smell it all over the park because of the thermal features. I’ve never been there, though.”

Laura looked at the stack of photo albums sitting on another chair. “I don’t remember seeing pictures of that.”

“You’ve got them all on your computer, I think. You have a few gorgeous pictures you had blown up and framed at the condo.”

“Oh.” The surge of memory faded as quickly as it had arrived. “Darn. So how did you meet Tony?”

Did Shayla’s eyes suddenly widen? “Oh. Uh, during an interview when I first started at the magazine. One of my first assignments.”

“What about?”

Now Shayla definitely wore a deer-in-the-headlights look. “Ah, he runs a data center.” She rummaged around in her purse for a moment. “Hey, I loaded pictures on my phone of you and the gang to look at.”

Laura got the feeling there was more to it than that, but was soon distracted by Shayla walking over with her phone and swiping through pictures with her.

Somewhere deep inside, Laura felt familiarity when looking at the first picture. It was her and Shayla with four other women. They were sitting at a table in a restaurant and all holding up glasses at whoever was taking the picture. “Leah, Loren, Tilly, and Clarisse,” she said. “The waiter took it for us. This was just a few weeks ago. Our first all together since Clarisse had the baby.”

“Baby?”

“Yeah. Her second with, uh, here’s another from the same day.” Shayla quickly swiped to the next picture. They looked like they were standing in front of a giant shark hanging upside down. “That’s in Tarpon Springs.”

“Fake shark?” she asked, squinting a little to see.

“Oh, yeah.” Shayla laughed. “Over at the Sponge Docks. Clarisse lives there. In Tarpon Springs, I mean. Not at the docks.”

“With her husband?”

“Yes.” Shayla swiped to another picture before Laura could ask why she sounded so nervous.

Little flashes of memory sparked here and there in Laura’s brain as they looked through them all, odd, random snapshots briefly coming into mental view before disappearing again. Laura didn’t know if they were true memories or not, but it totally distracted her from asking more about Clarisse and her family.

She realized that thought scared her even more than not getting her memory back at all. “What if what I remember isn’t what happened, but what I think happened, or what other people tell me?” she asked Shayla.

Her friend looked sad. “I don’t have an answer for you. I’m sorry.”

Laura’s gaze returned to the phone. “I wonder if anyone will.”

Rob went home and walked Doogie first. Then he headed by the dive shop. He wanted to make sure Carol didn’t decide to just randomly drop by the hospital again without asking first. He’d hoped yesterday’s talk had ensured that, but it never hurt.

Steve stood behind the counter, ringing up a customer. He wore a grim look on his usually cheerful face. He looked up as soon as Rob walked in and hurried to complete the transaction.

Once the customer had left, he rounded the counter. “All right. Enough with the bullshit. I want to see her.”

He took a deep breath and held his hands up, trying to placate him. “Did you talk to Carol?”

The older man frowned. “Yeah, but if she could go see her, why can’t I?”

Rob treaded carefully. “Carol stopped by without asking first. You know how Laura is. She’s been beaten to a pulp and trying to come to terms with the fact that she has no memory. Do you want to see her for your benefit or hers?”

Steve recoiled as if slapped. “How dare you—”

“How dare you? Look, I love you like family, but what if she gets her memory back today and chews me a fucking new one for letting Carol see her like that, huh? Yeah, you’ve known her nearly her whole life. You tell me what she’d want.”

He took a step back and stared at the floor, his face going red, jaw working. Finally, he looked back at Rob. “When can we see her then? And why aren’t you there now?”

Rob took a deep, relieved breath. He kept his tone calm and apologetic. “I’m going to talk to her today about that. And I had to walk Doogie. I was already there a few hours this morning. You have no idea how many people want to come visit her. If I let everyone descend on her at once, it could set back her recovery from the stress, okay? I need to do it in stages, manageable bites, so we don’t overwhelm her. That’s what the doctors said. Okay?”

Rob reached out and touched the man’s arm. “I promise, you’ll get to see her soon.”

“Why can’t we talk to her on the phone?”

“Because she doesn’t know you. I’m not even talking to her on the phone.”

Steve leaned against the counter and shook his head. “I just…I can’t believe it. Does she remember anything?”

“She almost had a memory about that trip when we found the lobster. The picture triggered something.”

“Then we should get her in here soon.”

“I know. I agree. But she needs to be in the hospital right now for another couple of days. She’s still in a lot of pain from her injuries, and she looks like hell.” He choked back his own emotions. “He beat the crap out of her, Steve,” he admitted. “He nearly killed her. And to be honest? I feel better having her in the hospital right now. As long as she’s there, they’ll keep a deputy at her door. Once she’s out of there I can’t protect her every second of the day.”

“You know damn well I’ll help.”

“I know. But what if who did this is a customer? What if he walks in here and shoots her?”

Steve’s face darkened. “That detective was already in here. Went through records a few times. I gave him everything he asked for. Class rosters, charter manifests, receipts, everything.”

“And that’s a start.”

After a few silent moments, it looked like all the anger seeped out of the older man. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Rob knew he needed to give the man a little more info to keep him happy. “I told Laura’s friend, Shayla, she could visit her. She came last night with her husband, and she’s there with her right now. I don’t want Carol to know that. I don’t want her feelings hurt.”

Steve slowly nodded. “She’s really close to Shayla.”

“I thought if there was a single person other than me who could trigger something, it might be Shayla.”

Steve let out a resigned sigh. “You’re right. No, I won’t tell Carol.” He met Rob’s gaze. “If I could get my hands on that fucker…” He didn’t finish.

Rob squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “You and me, both. Believe me.”

As he climbed into his Explorer, Rob spotted a duffel bag on the floor behind the passenger seat. He dragged it into his lap and unzipped it.

Royal blue rope.

He fingered it. He didn’t have to unpack the rope to know that under it lay several carabiners, other clips, a ball gag, and a blindfold.

Angrily, he zipped it up and tossed it into the backseat before starting the engine. His mind drifted as he drove.

Two? No, three weeks earlier. He’d packed that bag for a small private party at Tony and Shayla’s.

Seth and Leah, Loren and Ross, and Tilly and her men had also been there. Rob was scheduled to work that Saturday and wouldn’t be at dinner or the club, so they’d set it up for him.

Because they were friends and loved him and Laura both.

Laura still went out to Sigalo’s on Saturday night with the rest of the gang, and then spent a little time socializing later at the club.

But that night, in Tony’s private playroom, Rob had tied Laura in a chest harness before binding her, helpless, to a bench.

Her soft cries still rang in his ears as he’d inserted a vibrator into her pussy before using another piece of rope to secure it in place.

And turned it on, forbidding her from coming under threat of five cane strokes, part of the sadistic fun knowing she wouldn’t be able to hold back and that she was more than willing to sacrifice five strokes for the orgasms.

How she’d moaned when he stepped in front of her and unzipped his jeans, her eager mouth wide and willing while a fine sheen of sweat coated her skin.

How he’d grabbed her head firmly. “Have you come yet?”

She shook her head, mouth still wide open and ready.

Sadistic glee filled him. This was a routine they’d gone through countless times before, one she loved despite the resulting cane strokes.

Loved him taking charge and owning her, loved knowing he would follow through.

How she moaned, the sound vibrating through his cock, deep into his balls, as he fucked her mouth and her warm lips and tongue stroked him.

How she moaned again, harder, louder, with a mix of dismay and gleeful anticipation when he reached down and twisted her nipples.

How she moaned even more deeply when that finished her off and the orgasm washed over her, arching her against her restraints as she sucked him harder.

“There’s your five, baby girl,” he’d told her, loving how she moaned again, sucking him harder, more deeply, writhing against the ropes as she fucked her hips against the air and the bench as the vibrator hummed inside her.

It only made him want to fuck her more and harder, but instead, he withdrew before she could make him come. She whined in disappointment, but he wouldn’t be denied. He carefully tucked his protesting cock back into his jeans and walked around behind her.

First, he prepared a butt plug and, even as the vibrator continued humming inside her, he slowly and carefully inserted it, making her cry out as another series of orgasms washed through her.

And then…

Then, the Hitachi.

How he held it pressed firmly against her clit, still turned off, as with his other hand he brushed the cane against her ass.

“Time to pay up, baby girl. Ask me for it.”

She struggled to speak through the effects of the vibrator and butt plug on her brain. “Please give me my five, Sir!”

“Good girl.” He clicked on the Hitachi, on high, and took the first swing across her ass with the cane.

She screamed, in pleasure and pain, as she came again.

He drew it out, knowing how she loved it, the short-circuiting of her brain as he combined each painful cane stroke with the overwhelming pleasure of the Hitachi.

When she’d taken all five strokes, he turned off the Hitachi and set it and the cane down before returning to her head.

She still shivered, the other vibrator inside her not letting her completely stop orgasming.

He unzipped his jeans again and she opened her lips without prompting.

“Such a good girl.” He stroked her hair as he fucked her mouth, going faster but careful not to gag her, his own groan joining with hers as his balls tightened, then emptied, and she swallowed every drop of cum he fed her.

How later, on Tony’s couch, Laura had blissfully curled up in a blanket, her head in his lap while he talked with their friends.

How they’d gone home and she’d fallen asleep in his arms.

He barely missed rear-ending a car in front of him, jamming on the brakes and forcing his brain back to the present.

What kind of monster am I to think about stuff like that now?

When she looked horrible and had barely begun to heal from the attack?

Now was not the time for those kinds of thoughts.

And if she didn’t get her memory back, he was all too aware of how those thoughts might be all he had left of their former dynamic.