Requiem

Chapter Ten New

Summer wound down, and Beth and I undertook the process of delegation. Our schedule at Brown would make it impossible to maintain the hours we’d been keeping at Titan.

Jared made frequent calls to Claire to check on Ryan’s progress, which steadily improved. At times faster than Claire would have liked. To all of our surprise, Ryan wasn't fighting the decision to decommission him. He was focused on getting well and getting back to the States — something none of us had anticipated.

As promised, Jared didn’t try another ambush on Shax, or Donovan and Isaac. Instead, he became obsessed with constructing a fail-safe plan, one that included a Plan B, and help. He refused to let the book get away from him a second time.

Bex grew two more inches, which was a good thing. His inflated ego needed all the room he could give it.

Jared and I spent my last day of Summer Break at our Oak Tree. We stretched out across a blanket Jared had spread over the grass, just inside the shade of the tree. I kept my eyes closed, quiet and lazy, listening to the bugs buzzing and the grass dancing in the wind.

“You’re officially a college junior tomorrow,” he said with a proud smile, brushing the petals of a wildflower down the line of my jaw.

“I am,” I said. “Another summer gone by. Just one more left before I graduate.”

Jared squeezed my hand, turning his attention to the carving above us. “Hmmm…where do you see yourself this time next year?”

I breathed out a laugh. “I have no idea. Why don’t we make this an annual event? We spend the day at our Oak tree the last day of Summer Break next year, too.” Jared grimaced, and my expression mimicked his. “What?”

He worked to smooth out the deepening line between his brows. “Nothing.”

“Jared,” I warned. I became impatient very quickly when he kept things from me, and he seemed to be taking that risk more frequently.

He sighed. “I was hoping your answer would be different, that’s all.”

“Different how?” I asked.

“I was hoping that you would say you saw yourself married this time next year,” he said quietly.

“Oh,” I said, sheepish.

“I’m trying very hard to be patient about this,” he said, his voice suddenly strained. “I don’t understand why you’re putting it off.” He chuckled nervously. “I thought we’d be married by now.” His eyes were still bright, but I could hear the edge of worry in his voice.

“We’ve discussed this, Jared. A lot. I don’t have time to plan a wedding right now. It’s not that I’m putting it off, I’ve just got a lot on my plate is all,” I said, twisting my ring around my finger.

Jared rested his hand on mine. “I know you do. But it doesn’t have to be an elaborate event. We’re engaged, we’re living together…is there a problem I should be aware of?”

“Of course not,” I smiled. “I just need a little more time.”

Jared’s contrived smile didn’t hide the heavy disappointment in his eyes, but I pretended not to notice. I wanted to marry him more than anything, but I wanted to do it right. I certainly didn’t want to feel rushed to get home from our honeymoon because of chapters to study, papers to write, or learning how to run another department of Jack’s company.

“A year is a reasonable engagement. Two years is….” he trailed off, clearly vexed by the idea of waiting another year.

“We won’t have a two year engagement, Jared,” I assured him.

“So you’re going to settle on a date sometime this year?” he asked, hopeful. The look in his eyes made it impossible to say anything but yes.

“I will. I just have to find time to plan a wedding between twenty hours of school and Titan.” I felt my expression compress as I thought about the ramifications of my statement.

Jared looked ahead, his eyes tightening with focus. “I will find time. I will create time if I have to.”

“Well, you do have Divine connections. I’m sure you could make that happen,” I teased. I peered up the giant tree, squinting from the sunshine poking through the leaves. The branches swayed with the breeze, and I smiled. “I love it here.”

“Good. I do, too.”

“It’s so amazing that Gabe brought Lillian to this exact spot.” My eyes lingered on the rudimentary heart and initials of Jared’s parents, and then on the elegant details of the vines and leaves inside the heart with our initials inside. I looked back to Jared’s glowing blue-grey eyes. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Just get my fiancé to actually marry me,” he said, winking.

I pressed my lips together into a tight line. “I said I’d set a date.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Jared said, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Whatever works,” Jared grinned.

“I promise. I’ll set a date.”

“Within the next ten years?” he asked playfully.

“I’ll set a date for this year,” I said, stubbornly raising my chin.

“This year,” Jared repeated, dubious.

“Did you think I was kidding when I said yes?”

“No. I just didn’t realize when you said yes that you meant someday.” His tone was lighthearted, but I felt a twinge of guilt in my chest. Jared immediately reacted. “I’m kidding, sweetheart,” he said, tucking my hair behind my ear. Instead of the ends of my hair wrapping around the bottom of my ear like it used to, it brushed against my shoulder.

I looked down, picking at my fingernails. “I know, but it’s true. You didn’t expect a long engagement.”

“Well, I assumed maybe a year with everything happening so fast. But when the year came and went and you never so much as mentioned it….”

“Oh. You think it’s not important to me,” I said, my face feeling hot.

“I didn’t say that,” he quickly backpedaled.

I looked up at him under my lashes. “But that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Well,” he hesitated, “you do tend to insinuate that there are other things you’d rather focus on. I understand, but I can’t help but be a little disappointed. It was my idea after all,” he grinned, kissing my forehead.

I slowly crawled into his lap. “I love you, Jared Ryel. There is nothing I want more than to be your wife. I promise to get right to work on that date, okay?”

Jared beamed. “Thank you.” His lips traveled to mine, but quickly pulled away. “You’d better keep this to yourself. I think mom has finally accepted that no amount of encouragement on her part is going to produce a wedding. It’s probably best to let her think you have other things on your mind.”

“Good plan,” I said, leaning him back against the blanket.

He smiled. “Speaking of Lillian…she invited us to dinner. Apparently, she has a surprise.”

“A surprise….” I trailed off. “Do you know what it is?”

Jared shook his head. “Not a clue.”

I looked at my watch. “We’d better get going if we’re going to wash up and make dinner.”

Jared stood up and brought me with him. We rolled the blanket and I fastened it to the back of Jared's motorcycle, and then we made a quick stop at the loft, trading the bike for the Escalade.

After a quick stop at Cynthia’s, Jared drove us to his mother’s. We had been to Lillian’s more than enough times for me to get past the night of the invasion, but no matter how many times we made a visit, an overwhelming sick feeling still came over me as we pulled into the drive.

“No need to be nervous,” Jared said.

“I’m not. I’m starting to wonder if it’s post-traumatic stress,” I said with a half-smile.

Jared didn’t share my humor over the subject. “It’s a possibility,” he said as he opened the passenger door.

We walked to the house, and Jared stopped abruptly.

“What?” I asked, scanning his face.

He was working far too hard to mask an emotion. “Nothing. Everything is fine.”

“Jared,” I said as we walked. “Something’s wrong.”

“No. No, everything’s fine.”

The closer we got to the door, the harder my heart throbbed against my chest. Jared reached out with one finger to press the doorbell.

The door swung open, and I gasped. “I don’t believe it.”

“Well that’s a hell of a reception. I missed you, too.”

“Claire!” I squealed, wrapping my arms around her neck.

She didn’t hug me back, but stood with her hands on her hips. “You confuse me.”

“I’m sorry!” I said, breathless. “I just…I wasn’t expecting you.”

Lillian walked to Claire’s side, casually crossing her arms. “Surprise,” she said with her warm, sweet smile.

“Wait,” I said, my eyes darting to everyone. “Does this mean that Ryan is…?”

Claire nodded. “He’s at the Providence VA Hospital to finish his rehabilitation.”

My hands flew up to my mouth, and then I hugged her again. “I’m so glad you’re home,” I whispered into her ear.

“Me too,” Claire smiled.

We sat at the table for dinner. The symphony of our laughter filled every inch of the house. I cleared the dessert dishes, and listened to them talk and giggle. I waited in the kitchen, smiling to myself as I soaked in the sound of love Bex, Claire, Lillian and Jared exchanged, even in their teasing.

“Nina?” Jared called.

“Coming,” I said, starting the dishwasher.

“I’m sure Nina wants to hear more about her friend,” Lillian said.

Jared's expression changed so slightly, that I was sure no one at the table noticed but me. The skin around his eyes tightened as the corners of his mouth turned up — something he always did when he tried too hard to cover how he was feeling. I took his hand in mine and squeezed. He seemed to relax an infinitesimal amount, and I shook my head.

“Tonight is about Claire,” I said.

Claire touched the napkin to her mouth and rolled her eyes. “He’s a machine. He’s been working like crazy trying to get well. His psych analysis wasn’t exactly…he told them about me.”

“He saw you?” Jared said.

An awkward pause sent tension into the air. “He thinks he did,” Claire said. “My face was covered with the hijab, so he only remembers my eyes, but they’re questioning how a woman with the small frame he described could have carried him out.”

Bex chuckled. “What a pinhead. Did he really think they would believe him?”

Claire stared at the table. “He told them I was American. He told Colonel Brand he thinks he knows who it was.”

“Not good,” Jared said.

Claire looked up. “But he only told the Colonel. No one else. After they gave him the results of his psych eval, he insisted he be placed in Providence.”

“Way to go, Claire. You blew your cover,” Bex smiled.

Jared leaned his elbows on the table. “This is serious. You need to stay out of sight, Claire. Lay low.”

“I know,” Claire grumbled, her eyes returning to one spot on the tablecloth. “I could say the same thing to you, you know. No one’s torching my house.”

“What?” Lillian said, her eyes darting to Jared.

He glared at Claire for moment, and then looked to Lillian. “There was a small…fire. Everyone is fine.”

“A fire?” Bex said. “They set explosives at the loft. Everything’s gone.”

“Who’s they?” Lillian asked. She was concerned, but not in the way a typical mother might be. She didn’t seem overly worried about Jared’s well-being. It was clear she was years ahead of me as far as experience with Hybrids. She knew exactly what her children were capable of, and I wondered if I would ever have that same peace of mind.

“Donovan,” Jared said.

“Interesting,” Lillian said, thoughtfully. “How do you plan to resolve that, Son?”

“We’re going to need help that won’t come,” Jared replied, clearly frustrated with his own words.

Claire’s eyes narrowed. “You talked to Samuel?” Jared nodded, and she continued, “Eli?” When Jared nodded again, she shook her head in disgust. “It’s that bad?”

“Eli talked about a balance,” I said. “They won’t get involved.”

“You know,” Claire said, leaning forward in her seat. “If it gets to that point…we could force them.”

“That better be one frightening, desperate point,” Bex said. “That would mean war.”

Lillian held up her hand. “That would be a last resort.” She stood, making her way to me. “Nina, what I’m about to ask you will be very difficult, but I need the truth.”

“Okay,” I stuttered, worried what she was going to ask.

Lillian lowered her chin. “What did Gabe say to you on the plane?”

Jared frowned. “What are you talking about? He didn’t come to her on the plane.”

“Actually….” I said, trailing off.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said, noticeably angry. Before I could answer, he began again, “Don’t you know that everything is important, now?”

“Jared,” I said, embarrassed, “he said to go home. He said not to see Claire. I knew you wouldn’t leave her there alone until you knew she was all right.”

Jared looked to Claire, and then to Lillian. “Does he talk to you?”

His mother smiled. “At night. Only if it’s important. She knows about Kim now?”

“Yes,” Jared answered.

Lillian’s mouth pulled to the side, disappointed. “That was a mistake. Your main focus should be the book. It’s vitally important that you have it in-hand.”

“Kim and I made a deal,” Jared explained. “She will help us obtain the book if we help her return it to Jeruselum, under the Sepulchre where her ancestor found it. She wants to free her family of it.”

Lillian's eyes flitted about as she thought. “If she is helping you, why would your father try to keep Nina away from her?”

“Away from Kim?” I asked. “She's harmless.”

“Is she?” Claire snipped.

“Dad is wrong this time. We need her,” Jared said, clearly uncomfortable. Gabe was the foundation of their family, a fallen angel from Heaven, pure-blooded. The thought of him making a mistake was a hard pill to swallow, and even Jared wasn't convinced of his own words.

Everyone at the table sat silently, processing the situation. Finally, Bex spoke. “We’re all here. Let’s go get it.”

“We need a plan,” Jared said. “And we can’t leave Nina unprotected.”

“So Bex watches Ryan and Nina, and you and I go,” Claire said.

Jared rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve already tried. I’m telling you, we need a plan.”

“You went there and didn’t leave with the book?” Claire said, raising an eyebrow.

“He had it in his hands,” Bex said, chuckling. Jared shot Bex a sharp look, and the boy's smug expression immediately vanished. “Sorry,” he said, clearing his throat.

“I was a little outnumbered,” Jared explained. “By eighty or so.”

“So?” Claire said, unimpressed.

Jared huffed. “We’ll talk about this later.”

The ride home was long, and the air in the cab of the Escalade was thick with tension. I didn’t dare talk first. Jared’s jaw was tight, and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. He drove closer to Bex’s typical speed, impatient with the stop lights and traffic.

Jared parked in the drive, and then appeared at the passenger door. Without a word, he helped me to the ground. I wrapped my arm around his, and we walked in quiet understanding.

After a long shower, I set out clothes for Fall classes the next day. Jared waited for me, sitting on the end of the bed.

“You’re not staying,” I said, more of a statement than a question.

He stood. “Bex will be outside. I won’t be far.” He tightened the belt of my robe, and then encompassed me in his arms, leaning down just inches from my face. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, pressing his warm lips softly against mine.

He intended the kiss goodbye to be quick, but his lips lingered on mine. I ran my hands over the perfection of his chest and stomach, and then made my way to the bottom of his shirt, reaching underneath the fabric to touch his soft, feverish skin.

“You could stay,” I whispered, smiling against his mouth.

“I want to,” he said, his voice strained.

“Just for a little while? I won't keep you long,” I began to raise his shirt, but he gently restrained me by the wrists.

“Bex is downstairs.”

“Crap,” I said with a grimace. My hands fell to my sides, and I blew my bangs from my face in a huff.

Jared left me alone, and I ambled to the bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I was surprised the yearning for his warm body beside me, or thoughts of Ryan, or Jack, or the upcoming day of tedious bombardment of syllabi and introductory never crossed my mind. Heaviness came upon me, and I gladly succumbed.

“Nina!” Beth shouted from the end of the hall. She rushed to catch up, and then threw her arms around my neck. “Can you believe we’re back already?” She looked around, scanning faces of passing students.

“No,” I said, grinning at her endearing over-enthusiasm for everything.

I didn’t bother bringing my laptop; every class would be the same. Beth filled me in on the last few details she’d taken care of at Titan, and we discussed the monstrosity that was Sasha and the fact that she would be staying on.

“How far does she think she’ll go in that company, now that she’s made an enemy of you?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“You make the mistake of believing she thinks. She did take on the Christmas party. Makes me wonder what she has up her sleeve.”

“Hopefully breath spray,” Beth said, covering her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said that.” Beth giggled, and I shook my head.

My attention diverted to a group of boys that walked through the door. Josh led the group. As Ryan’s best friend, he wasn’t a fan of mine, and made it quite clear that he’d rather not be around me. Chad admitted that Josh accused me of being the reason Ryan left. Beth came to my defense, of course, but that didn’t make him wrong.

Once Josh caught a glimpse of me, his eyes became unfocused. He looked right through me before pretending to be deeply engrossed in whatever his friends were saying.

Beth glared at him as he found his seat. “He really needs to get over himself.”

“He’s just being the same kind of friend to Ryan that you are to me,” I mumbled, fiddling with my pen.

“Guess I can’t fault him for that.”

I found myself fighting the urge to tell her that Ryan was not only back, but just a few minutes away. Not being able to see him when he was so close was bad enough; even though I had thought a several different scenarios where I could happen across that information, I couldn't tell Beth until Claire gave me the green-light.

“Good morning,” the professor said, passing out the intro packet for the class.

I sighed when Beth handed me a stack of papers, and I took my own, passing on the rest. I didn't bother thumbing through the pages like the other students, but settled into my seat, making a valid effort to pay attention. The mundane pieces of my life used to be what I was so desperate to hold on to. In the last month, it was all I could do to make an active effort to be a participant. College seemed trivial compared to the other part of my life.

After classes, I smiled at the sight of Jared’s Escalade waiting in its usual spot. He had warned me that morning that I wouldn’t see him at lunch; he said to give me time to catch up with the girls. Something about ‘holding on to a shred of normal’…I was too busy being offended to hear.

He quickly opened my door for me, and I wrapped my arms around his middle.

“Well, hello,” he said, amused at my eager affection.

“Oh, like you didn’t miss me, too,” I said, smiling up at him.

He raised one eyebrow. “Do you even have to ask?” He watched me settle into my seat, and then sighed. “I thought I should tell you. Claire called. Ryan should be released soon.”

“Can I see him, yet?” I said, a bit more enthusiastic than was appropriate.

Jared tried to hide his disappointment at my words. “He hasn’t told anyone he’s here. How would you explain your visit?”

The tightness around his eyes gave him away. He was still worried. Now that Ryan had been wounded, and was home after such a long time away, I imagined his concern was at a new level.

“Ryan and I are different people, now. Everything has changed,” I said, touching Jared’s cheek with my fingertips.

“As long as Ryan is in love with you, I will always have reason to worry.”

I leaned in to to kiss him. “How can I convince you?”

Jared pulled away from me, shifting uncomfortably.

“What is it?” I said, frowning.

“Don’t get mad…,” he began.

I crossed my arms. “A disclaimer? This should be good.”

He took a deep breath. “Until we find the book, and figure out a way to keep you one-hundred percent safe, I think the intimacy should be kept to a minimum.”

“Oh, for the love of God, not this again,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“It happens all the time, Nina. We can’t risk it,” he said, covering my hand with his.

I smirked. “You can’t use your Abra Cadabra to figure it out?” I leaned in to kiss his neck. “Haven’t you heard of the rhythm method? We’ll put our own spin on it.”

“I would consider myself an intelligent person, but no, can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

“You just figure out when I’m ovulating, and we abstain for those few days. Voilà! Birth control. We have the Hybrid edge.”

Jared’s nose wrinkled in disdain. “That doesn’t seem like a solution to me.” He leaned away from my kisses, and I crossed my arms in a pout.

“It’s better than your proposal,” I frowned. “Are you saying you can’t do it?”

“What makes you think I can?”

My eyes narrowed. “Eli said once we were intimate, your senses would change. You’ve never once mentioned how, or even if they have.”

“That discussion is better left alone,” he said, maneuvering out of my embrace. He faced forward, clearly unwilling to elaborate.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” I said, lifting my chin in defiance.

Jared quickly commandeered the drivers seat, shoved the gear shift into drive, and pulled into the street. “Nina, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but I will: I love you more than anything on this earth; more than anything in the universe. I love you more than life, more than my family, and I love you more than I love being with you in that way. Your safety is, and will always be my first priority. This isn’t the kind of risk I took sitting beside you on that bench the night we met, or telling you what I am. Making a mistake concerning an accidental pregnancy will mean an all out war, because that is exactly what will have to happen to keep you alive.”

The smile or wink I was hoping for never came. He had always been careful to protect me from the truth without telling a lie, but the seriousness of the situation warranted a bluntness Jared usually avoided.

It took a long time for me to reply. My initial reaction was to complain, but Eli's words echoed in my mind. He had told me it was time to break away from being the victim. He was very clear that my time to feel sorry for myself was over.

That gave me an idea.

I attempted a small smile. “I understand you know better than me what will happen. You know exactly what consequences to expect when a choice is made — especially if it’s the wrong one. I’m human, Jared. But that doesn’t make me frail. You have to give me more credit than that. It’s time you teach me some of what you know.”

“Like what?” Jared said, dubious.

“How to shoot a gun, for instance…and basic self-defense wouldn’t hurt.”

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose. “A gun isn’t going to help you in this particular situation, Sweetheart, much less a solid knee to the groin.”

“You don’t think I can do it.”

“Why would you need to when you have me?”

“What if you’re busy?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You mean too busy to do my job? The one that includes protecting the love of my life from certain death?”

He was trying to scare me, but I stood my ground, determined to prove my case. “Do I have to remind you of the night at the restaurant? Claire stayed behind while you took care of business?”

“That’s different. I would’ve never left you if Claire hadn’t been there.”

“If I had known how to shoot a gun I could have helped. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Teaching you just enough to make you dangerous is not helping. It gives you the impression that you’re capable of more than you actually are.”

My mouth fell open. “Now that’s just insulting. Do you really see me as helpless?”

Jared laughed once, amused. “No. Definitely not, but we’re not dealing with Graham, anymore, Nina. Others are an enemy you don’t want to piss off by shooting at.”

“Fine,” I said, a fake smile tightening my face. “I’ll have Bex or Claire teach me. She’s offered before.”

Jared clenched his teeth. “Neither of them will do it without my explicit permission, and if they do, you’re going to start something you can’t take back.”

“That’s not fair!” I said, fully recognizing the whine in my tone. I waited until my voice could sound calmer, and then spoke again, “I happen to know there’s a gun club in Cranston.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” Jared said, slowing as he pulled into the drive.

“Probably not, no,” I said. Jared huffed in frustration. “It’s just that I…it’s suffocating being in your shadow. According to you, my life is constantly in danger, and I have to wait for you to save me. It would be nice to know if for whatever reason I’m alone, I can do something to protect myself.”

Jared’s eyes met mine, and then he nodded once. “Okay. We’ll start Saturday.”